King Kaufman's Sports Daily

The search for meaning in a world where the Clippers are a good team. Plus: 3-0 leads aren't safe in the new NHL. And: Dirk isn't "soft."

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April 25, 2006 | The Los Angeles Clippers pounded the Denver Nuggets 98-87 to take a 2-0 lead in their first-round NBA playoff series Monday night, and I'm just not ready for this.

I know the Clippers looked pretty good on paper before the season started. I know they opened the season winning three straight and four out of five, that they jumped out to a 14-5 record before cooling off, that they won nine of 10 starting in late January, that they set a franchise record for road wins, had their first winning season since Tom Bradley was mayor and clinched a playoff spot with seven games left to play.

But it just never hit me how much the order of things had been upset until I watched the Clippers destroy the Nuggets Monday, leading by 20 or so for much of the game and turning Carmelo Anthony into a foul-trouble-plagued nonentity, scoreless in the first half, 16 points for the game.

Think about that for a second. Someone beat up on the Nuggets and it rocked my world. That's a whole nother issue.

I enjoy seeing an underdog do well as much as the next person. Maybe more than the next person, who, let's face it, has a little cruel streak and likes to see the little guy suffer.

But this is too much. We need the Clippers to be the Clippers, don't we? We need their essential Clipperness to lend harmony to the universe. I mean, I like when underdogs win and everything, but I don't want to see amoebas rocketing to the top of the food chain.

The barfly Norm on "Cheers" once defended his lack of ambition by saying the world needs bench warmers because without them, what would we have? "A lot of cold benches. And the world doesn't need that."

So what do we have if the Clippers aren't the Clippers? Last place up for grabs. And the world doesn't need that either. I don't mean last place in the Pacific Division, which the Golden State Warriors are happy enough to claim. I mean last place in everything. Worst franchise in sports.

With the Clippers making smart personnel moves and playing well, your team could be next as the worst franchise in sports, or, to use the shorthand, "the Clippers." We've already lost the Cincinnati Bengals. This is getting serious.

Next page: Shut up, Billy Crystal. Plus: NHL playoffs include actual hockey! And: Dirk Nowitzki not "soft"