The 76ers went from patriotic red, white and blue to that Yankee Doodlest of schemes, black, maroon, gold and blue, which I think are the colors of Bisbee, Ariz.
The Patriots burned the flag in favor of a dull silver and navy scheme with red trim, also ditching one of the greatest logos in sports in favor of one that makes them look like the Postal Service team or something. Or a USFL team.
Even that lame design featured flag blue for a few years before the Pats recognized the problem and went to nautical blue.
I understand the desire of the U.S. women's soccer team and all these others to move merch, and every time you change things up you've got a new batch of gear to sell to the fans. But Gulden's mustard yellow? Nothing against Gulden's mustard. I actually like Gulden's mustard.
But when some gets on my shirt, I change my shirt.
I think sports teams should favor bright colors over dull ones, and all of the above returning to Old Glory would take care of that. But that's a matter of personal taste. National teams or those with patriotic connections should wear the good ol' red, white and blue. And that's not.
Betsy Ross demands nothing less.
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Those spontaneous hockey team photos [PERMALINK]
It's in-box day around here. Or visual arts day maybe.
Earlier this month, when the Anaheim Ducks -- color scheme: black, white and copper ... blech! -- won the Stanley Cup, I wondered about that hastily assembled team photo the NHL champions always take on the ice, with the team gathered around the Cup.
"Whenever I'm in a group photo," I wrote, "even if the group is six people, it takes the group and the photographer 10 minutes to get everybody arranged just so. How is it that hockey teams can get themselves posed in 10 seconds?"
There's actually an answer to that question, and it comes from the guy who took this year's photo of the Ducks for the Associated Press, Mark Avery.
"You're right," he wrote me in an e-mail he's given me permission to reproduce, "it is impressive how they can get themselves together for a team photo in seconds.
"Let a bunch of people pose themselves, however, and you'll have a short person behind a tall person and you'll only see the top of their head or half of their face as they peer around a shoulder. When a professional takes the time to position every person in a group photo, it's to make sure they can all be seen properly by the camera.
"In a team photo, it's also usual to place the most important players near the center. [In the Ducks on-ice photo], you can see a couple of partial faces, like I described, and a lot of assistant coaches, trainers and third-string players near the center of the photo, while star players Francois Beauchemin, Dustin Penner, Todd Marchant and Ryan Getzlaf look like afterthoughts in the upper right.
"While fun, this is not a 'good' team photo."
I bet the Niedermayer brothers, flanking the Cup front and center, would disagree with that, and I bet that 20 years from now if anybody in that picture has a team photo of the 2007 Anaheim Ducks on their wall, it'll be that very one. But it's true the Ducks would have a hell of a time passing something like this off as a team photo if Lord Stanley's hardware weren't in the middle of it.
That's why you should try to win the Stanley Cup if you're a hockey player. Makes pictures better.
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About the writer
King Kaufman is a senior writer for Salon. Visit his column archive. You can e-mail him at king at salon dot com or visit his MySpace page.
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