King Kaufman's Sports Daily
NFL Week 14: There are no guarantees in this world. Except Steelers over Pats, bonded by a random defensive back.
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Dec. 7, 2007 | It's been a while since we've had a good victory guarantee but we've got one this week in the NFL, and that can only mean one thing.
Slow news week?
Did I say that out loud? Ha ha! No, it can only mean there's a big game coming up. Yessiree, and one of the players in that game, safety Anthony Smith of the Pittsburgh Steelers, has guaranteed that his team will hand the New England Patriots their first loss of the season in Foxboro, Mass., Sunday.
If the Steelers somehow lose this game, Smith will personally refund every dollar every Steelers fan has spent on the team this season.
I'm just assuming that. It couldn't be that he just said he guaranteed the Steelers would win, and it became a news story, and his teammates warned him about giving the Patriots bulletin-board material and all that, and that the guarantee doesn't mean a damn thing.
Could it?
"You don't need to give New England any bulletin-board material to motivate themselves," Steelers receiver Hines Ward was quoted as saying this week. "You've got to be smarter and be careful what you say."
The Patriots have to be happy that some second-year safety whom Rodney Harrison of the Patriots amusingly said he'd never heard of before decided to open his mouth. If he hadn't, the Pats, four wins away from the first undefeated NFL regular season in 35 years, just wouldn't have been able to figure out what their motivation was supposed to be.
Before I say anything to get anybody all motivated, I better give up the picks for Week 14, with winners in caps. The picks of Buster and Daisy, game-pickinest 4-year-old and coin-flippinest 2-year-old south of Alcatraz, follow.
Sunday early games
MIAMI (0-12) at Buffalo (6-6)
Bang. What the Heck Pick™ of the week. Miami's pretty automatic at this point, though I do have this funny feeling in my trick knee that I think means the Dolphins are going to win one by accident one of these weeks. Oh, wait, I'm just kneeling in some applesauce. In the last four weeks, What the Heck™ Picks are 2-2, with both losses being three-point games.
Kids: Buffalo (7-point favorite)
San Diego (7-5) at TENNESSEE (7-5)
The Titans are tied with Cleveland for the last AFC wild-card spot, while the Chargers have a two-game cushion in the West. More motivation, home-field advantage, a solid game last week against Houston and the Chargers' season-long weirdness all favor Tennessee. OK, Tennessee. A Tennessee guarantee.
Kids: Tennessee
Next page: Dallas, Green Bay, Indy: Anybody up for a letdown?