King Kaufman

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Olympics

The mystery of beach volleyball
Those hand signals the women flash behind their butts: They must be explained. Again.
Paulie Walnuts has been located!
The scary "Sopranos" mobster showed up in Beijing, cunningly disguised as an American pole-vault coach.
Fool's gold
The real question to ask after Liukin and He's routines: Why can't there be a tie?
Mom favored for Sap-o-Meter gold
Slate has a scientific method for measuring the mawkishness of NBC's coverage.
Memo to NBC gymnastics commentators: Shut up!
Their overheated, U.S.-obsessed reaction to Monday night's uneven-bars final made America look like a banana republic.
Why do runners "shut it down"?
Saving energy for the final is one thing, but slowing down before the tape in heats looks like a recipe for disaster.
Gymnastics tiebreakers are nuts!
Crazy rules cost American Liukin a gold. Then again, all gymnastics rules are crazy, and sane ones wouldn't have helped her.
Dare to struggle, dare to win!
Nike darling Liu Xiang let down his nation. Shouldn't the poster boy for the new China have crawled across the finish line -- no matter what?
Baseball gets chippy
Six hit batsmen, two collisions, an injured catcher and a woozy top prospect. No wonder big-league teams want no part of the Olympics.
The naked city
Beijing's artists deserve a gold for the sheer wealth of their audacity and talent.
Where have you gone, Allen Iverson?
The U.S. men's return to basketball dominance is a lot less interesting than those fascinating days of dysfunction in Athens.
33 and fabulous
The most astonishing event of the women's individual gymnastics event finals was turned in by a 33-year-old mom.
Short people got no reason to live
It isn't enough that tall men get all the girls and win all the elections. After Usain Bolt's ridiculous world-record sprint, now we can't even run away from them anymore.
The bluest day
Sun shines bright on Beijing at last -- a perfect day for pure sport, beckoning all to party (and spend) within the Forbidden City.
A tale of two Beijings
It wasn't the Red Army that killed feudalism -- it was the Olympics.
Why we identify with Olympic athletes
Yes, their feats are unimaginable -- but they pull us up with them.
Get the names right
NBC's lazy approach to pronunciation isn't limited to non-American athletes. The Peacock even butchers "Beijing."
Grace under pressure, and over power
It would have been great to see Shawn Johnson's explosive athleticism win the women's gymnastics gold.
Watching Nastia's gold and Shawn's silver
As a former elite gymnast myself, it's hard to watch Olympic competition. But then Nastia Liukin and Shawn Johnson blew me away.
Clear the beach!
Volleyball in sand. Skimpy outfits. Americans good. We get it. Can we have a little basketball on TV please?
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King Kaufman on sports: Like talking to the guy on the next barstool, if the guy on the next barstool were pretty smart and not drunk. king at salon.com, Facebook.

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