Ask the pilot

June 15, 2007 | The media has a way of simplifying things. The scheme to "blow up" New York's Kennedy airport, for example. How exactly does one "blow up" a 5,000-acre complex -- complete with 30 miles of road, nine miles of runway, nine terminals and dozens of other buildings? (You might remember Ahmed Ressam, the would-be millennium bomber, snagged at the U.S.-Canada border in 1999 and later convicted for planning to "blow up" Los Angeles International.) Short of setting off a nuclear weapon, I suggest it can't be done. Though I'm unsure who feels the greater disappointment: the alleged conspirators or the millions of travelers who openly detest Kennedy airport. If I'm interpreting the polls correctly, it's the opinion of 99 percent of fliers that for the entire place to disappear in a mushroom cloud would be about the best thing that could happen to it.

That's in terrible taste, I know, and a belligerent knock against what is arguably the most historic major airport in the world. If you're into that sort of thing -- of the 41 million people who pass through JFK each year, I reckon a scant few are smitten with nostalgia. How many people milling around Terminal 3 have any idea that that very building was once the storied Pan Am Worldport, the spot where sheiks and stars and dignitaries once waved to crowds before alighting from silver-skinned propliners and 707s? Not many, save for a few employees and enthusiasts like me. That's unfortunate, but not exactly startling, what with Kennedy's unnavigable sprawl, intense crowds, endless security lines, delays and, as anyone who has ever ridden the customs hall escalators in Terminal 3 can attest, some of the most dilapidated facilities in America.

Though at least it isn't Charles de Gaulle. Say what you might about JFK, it's got history, a couple of bright new concourses, and pleasant views of Jamaica Bay. That concrete oubliette on the outskirts of Paris, on the other hand, deserves a category of shame all its own. Aeroports de Paris has pretensions of turning de Gaulle into Europe's largest and most impressive hub. Already it's the second busiest, but to wring such standing from a place so confoundingly disjointed, dank and just plain ugly will be a challenge for the ages. They should start by putting up signs -- signs, at an airport, is that somehow too un-French? -- that actually direct people to the places they need to go, like to the gates, baggage claim and adjoining terminals. Even de Gaulle's rail link -- good luck finding the station -- if you'll pardon my French, sucks.

Perhaps de Gaulle and not its colonial cousin in Dakar, Senegal, whose wretchedness got this conversation started, should take the prize for the single worst airport on the planet, if only because we expect better from European planners and architects. (Then again, it was the Europeans who gave us the Airbus A380, the worst-looking piece of industrial design ever conceived by human beings.)

Truth be told, it's pretty hard to find an airport that is completely and wholly awful. A more useful criterion focuses on specific terminals. Especially in America, where you often find a collection of chronologically mismatched buildings, each with different amenities and levels of comfort, it's not necessarily fair to praise or vilify an entire airport based on one small section -- not any more than it's fair to judge somebody's home by virtue of a single, unrenovated kitchen or bathroom.

But never mind what I think. I promised to open this up to readers, and so here goes. What follows are the more pithy and colorful of several hundred submitted opinions on the best, worst and strangest airports -- or terminals -- around the globe.

Relatively few of you, it turns out, had much to say about JFK or Charles de Gaulle. The raspberries, as you'll see, fell mostly on London's Heathrow. As for places that people actually like, you expressed a fondness for small, easy-access terminals. No surprise there. My only disappointment is that nobody brought up the supposedly gorgeous little airport in Sukothai, Thailand. I've never been, but with its open-air pavilions, ponds and even a flower-fringed runway, Sukothai is purportedly one of the loveliest terminals anywhere. I haven't the room to include them, but special thanks to those who submitted photographs: Mark Prystajecky for shots of the museum-like façade at Lviv, Ukraine; Ali Hammoud for the hilarious welcome sign at Monrovia, Liberia; and Lesley Egbert's snapshot of the psychedelic beehive atrium at Abu Dhabi.

Letters have been edited for space and clarity. The italicized comments are mine.

THE GOOD

Changi Airport, Singapore (SIN)

"Free movie theater, cellphone chargers, lounge chairs with big-screen TVs, quiet areas. Free PlayStation terminals. The best airport I have ever spent time in."

"The best airport is Singapore's Changi, for the following reasons: excellent transit hotel; massage service; excellent food; nonstop flights to dozens of countries; free movies; subway connection to the entire island; cheap taxis; free city tour; the friendliest immigration officers in the world; flower gardens and koi ponds."

And a swimming pool. We'll skip the many other letters raving about how wonderful Changi is. The airport is as much beloved -- or possibly more so -- as its hometown carrier, Singapore Airlines.

Hong Kong International (HKG)

"Why? I got the best haircut of my life there. A full-on shopping mall. A bakery. Helpful signage in both English and Chinese. Plus, riding the train to and from Kowloon is fun, easy and fast, and you can check your bags at the downtown station."

Suvarnabhumi Airport, Bangkok, Thailand (BKK)

"Brand new and gleaming, Bangkok's new airport sparkles like the mirrors on the National Palace; gleams like the silks worn by Thai Airways flight attendants. It's cavernous and cool, full of marble and light and a shopping plaza boasting Gucci, Coach, Prada (real, not Night Bazaar counterfeits)."

If you're into that kind of thing. If you want my opinion, the less an airport tries to look like an upscale shopping mall, the better.

Siem Reap, Cambodia (REP)

"Siem Reap International is the gateway to Angkor. The architecture is reminiscent of the local temples, and the giant golden lanterns hanging from the vaulted ceilings add a whimsical touch. Wooden shutters lend the air of a guesthouse, and the pond outside provides a peaceful respite. There's also a pleasant Internet cafe and some great shopping, including a fantastic Artisans d'Angkor boutique. The terminal is clean, spacious and staffed by some of the nicest security personnel I've ever had the pleasure of being frisked by."

Hato Airport, Curaçao (CUR)

"A sleepy building, kept comfortable by cold water pumped up from the deep Caribbean Sea. Flower scents in the night. Crickets. Then in the distance, another sound. The airplane approaches, circles, lands. The KLM wide-body moors at the terminal, towering above it. Hustle and bustle, people coming on and off. Then the plane leaves for Amsterdam and the airport goes back to sleep."

Tel Aviv, Israel (TLV)

"We love Ben-Gurion airport. The new Terminal 3 is centered around a spacious atrium filled with soothing fountains, shops and cafes, all bustling even at 3 a.m. The modern building is clad in marble, yet good acoustics and a lack of televisions make it serenely quiet. Security is thorough and effective, yet respectful and efficient. Free Wi-Fi and baggage carts are added perks. Bathrooms are clean and plentiful -- even in the parking lot!"

Ditto the efficient security and sense of quiet, which I wrote about after my own visit to Ben-Gurion last year.

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