To print this page, select "Print" from the File menu of your browser salon.com > Technology Aug. 28, 1999 URL: http://www.salon.com/tech/chal/1999/08/28/25_results 21st Challenge No. 25 results Take this job and post it! High-tech style help wanted ads for low-tech jobs. - - - - - - - - - - - - By Charlie Varon and Jim Rosenau Help-wanted ads, like any other form of marketing, tend to overstate the case. In this Challenge, we asked readers to submit help-wanted ads for mundane jobs, yet to use the hyperbole typical of high-tech job postings. While none submitted postings for the proverbial ditch digger or refuse collector, these submissions prove that any job can be wrapped in buzzwords. THE WINNER C8-H10-N4-O2!! Does this stimulate you? Work with other technicians in a client-driven, custom-process, rapid-turnaround, organic synthesis laboratory. 1 year+ of industry experience with pressure vessels, steam aeration and chilled lactose processes is essential. Competence with sucrose-flavone methods helpful. Barista applications available at any Starbucks. No slackers. -- Barry Brumitt HONORABLE MENTIONS Ring your own bells! Legacy wireless communications system needs fresh blood and strong backs to port their protocols to 21st century standards. Challenging project requires ability to work independently. Harmonics experience an asset. Position: Apprentice Bell-ringer Contact: qmoto@cathedral.com -- Heather S. Logan Are you a power user with a conscience? If the nature of your work environment is important to you, join us on the "cutting edge" of today's fastest-growing "Green" business. Your virtual office is state-of-the-art hardware uniquely designed for the I-superhighway of the future. Some travel required. Contact: hiring@Interstate_Mowing_Services -- John Herpel Join the largest fast-track company in America. Transportation giant needs experts in installation and maintenance of massively parallel systems. Job title: Track gang worker Contact: HR@UnionPacificRR.com -- Val Manes Be the first! Make a path that others will follow. Openings available in Cryogenic Crystalline Relocation. Be a part of mankind's foremost Cryogenic Experiment! We provide the windows-driven vehicle you need to push your way to the top! Send resume to: RockyMtSnowPlow.com -- Leonard Bykowski Thanks for taking the 21st Challenge. Check back in two weeks for another contest. salon.com | Aug. 28, 1999