George W. thinks different

Al Gore's computer knowledge became a campaign issue earlier this year when the press tarred him as having claimed to be the father of the Internet. Somehow, though, Bush's technological chops never fell under the geeky microscope -- until now.

At least two Web logs, including programmer Rafe Colburn's rc3.org, announced Monday that George W. uses the same computer as, well, that subset of computer users with true digital taste. That's right: He's a Macintosh man. The proof? A photo of the president-elect on the phone, sitting before an Apple PowerBook.

Of course, the laptop may not be his own, and there's no way of knowing when or where the picture was taken. Still, the Dubya-as-Mac-user meme seems to fit. Macs have always been, Colburn writes, "for the rest of us." They are uniters, not dividers. Their interface is nothing if not compassionate and conservative. Plus, what did we expect Mr. Subliminable to use? A Linux-loaded Sony VAIO? -- Damien Cave [2 p.m. PST, Dec. 18, 2000]

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Did Nostradamus predict a Bush victory?

The Net has been a good friend to half-truths this campaign season: President Clinton was planning to run for the Senate, Dick Cheney was going to resign from the Republican ticket in October, George W. Bush was arrested for drunken driving. (OK, some rumors turn out to be true.) So perhaps it is only fitting that, now that it's all over, Nostradamus is finally making his entrance into the Election 2000 rumor mill. An e-mail currently making its way around the Web claims that the 16th century French "seer" penned this little stanza in 1555.

Partisan smack? Yes. But Nostradamus? A quick scan of Nostradamus' prophecies online shows that this little ditty is bogus -- though a loose interpretation of the N-man's notoriously cryptic prose has some believers claiming Nostradamus did indeed predict the rise of President-elect W. and some of the electoral madness that ensued in Florida.

Of course, some Democrats prefer this selection to show that perhaps the Frenchman did indeed foresee the Bush victory:

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From the "Excuses We Don't Buy" department

EToys has downgraded its sales and earnings estimates for its final, Christmas quarter from between $210 million and $240 million to between $120 million and $130 million. Apparently, no one's buying toys. But why? Sure, it's easy to blame a "harsh retail climate" brought on by a sinking economy, but the official eToys statement has an additional finger to point: Consumers have been "meaningfully distracted by the presidential election and its aftermath." Yep, blame it all on Bush. -- Janelle Brown [5:15 p.m. PST, Dec. 15, 2000]

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Digital impeachment

Now that the presidential campaign is over, diehard Democrats have turned their energy toward another campaign: impeachment.

Grieving Gore fans can now sign their names to an online petition that asks Congress to impeach the Dauphin named Dubya because he "stole the Presidency of the United States with the help of his brother Jeb Bush, his Florida co-chair Katherine Harris, and five partisan Supreme Court Justices appointed or promoted by Reagan-Bush and Bush-Quayle administrations." Since he "assumes the Presidency on the basis of a crime against the American people -- and against Democracy itself," Democrats suggest that we all get together and throw the bum out.

It's a bit odd to see Gore's supporters -- 1,263 of them at last count -- rally around impeachment. Weren't these the same people who condemned rabid Republicans for trying to impeach President Clinton? And yet, the petition probably says less about partisan hypocrisy than it does about the Net's present relationship to politics. Campaign 2000 made the Web a political receptacle, filled with the kind of bile, spit and anger that you only find in a medium that makes communication so damn simple. When all you have to do is click once to register disgust, or type a few keystrokes to lobby Congress, it's hard to repress the venting urge. Never mind that online petitions are futile; they're emotionally satisfying -- and right now, Gore's fans could use a little satisfaction. -- Damien Cave [3:30 p.m. PST, Dec. 15, 2000]

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Time to pay the piper, Mr. Bush

"Dear Mr. President-elect: We paid your astronomical campaign bills. Now, it's payback time."

Imagine the savory taste of power the top dogs at companies like Enron, a Texas energy company that has been one of the biggest financial backers of George W. Bush's short political career, must be enjoying today.

Bush shook more money out of campaign donors than any presidential contender in history. According to the Center for Responsive Politics, Bush raked in $191,617,196, and spent $183,052,265 of it on the race to win the White House.

In this seemingly endless election, Bush's biggest funders were a bevy of old-economy companies that included Andersen Worldwide, Ernst & Young, Bank of America, Morgan Stanley and Goldman Sachs. The new president can boast all he wants about how he'll be a leader for the "new economy," but it's the good old boys of banking, consulting and oil who paid his way into office. Do you suppose we should keep a close eye on any potential federal regulation that might affect the special interests of those corporations over the next four years?

Even more staggering than the Bush haul from corporations was the loot he took in from individual donors. Bush raised an unprecedented $101 million from regular citizens. Then again, those big-money donors are often the same corporate chieftains who separately made donations via their companies.

Can we hope that the fact that the victorious candidate in this hotly contested race required more capital to win than any before him will be enough to strengthen calls for campaign finance reform? Or is it more likely that a Bush administration, elected with the help of unheard-of oodles of corporate cash, will be the least likely entity to support any such reform? -- Katharine Mieszkowski [3:30 p.m. PST, Dec. 14, 2000]

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Geek boy, meet geek girl

Touché, touché. Last week we wrote about Geek Boy Services, a consultancy of hip urban girls who promised to make over fashion-deficient techies in order to help them get dates. In response, a witty member of the Geek Boy species has decided to offer his own expertise. The geek boys over at Geek Girl Services are now offering to help out hip urban girls who want to meet rich geeks, by (what else?) taking them shopping at Fry's.

"We'll help you stop caring about how you dress, understand basic geek-speak, play Quake and debug. You'll have an insider's view of geek life, increased shyness and a great wireless network in your own home," promises the parody. As Geek Boy "Mike" explains, "it occurred to us that we perhaps need fewer hip urban dudes, and a few more cool geek-loving women." Well, we might pass on the primer lesson of "why it's okay to eat leftover pizza for breakfast," but the Linux installation lessons do sound enticing ... -- Janelle Brown [3 p.m. PST, Dec. 14, 2000]

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Triumph of the noodle

Like all great ideas, it was simple, and it solved a problem: The people of Japan were spending far too much time in front of their noodle cookers. While others sighed hopelessly at the burden of their inconvenience, Momofuku Ando took to the drawing board and Did Something About It.

Ando's instant noodle -- the humble precursor of today's 10-cent Ramen meal -- met its naysayers early on. Scientists and academics alike turned up their noses at the sheer frivolity of Ando's invention. "People will never eat this stuff," they said. But Ando did not falter. In 1958, he brought the world its first instant noodle and, this week, Japanese noodle lovers let Ando know that they have not forgotten: They voted the instant noodle the most important invention of the 20th century.

Indeed, the Japanese do love their instant noodles. Visitors flock to the Momofuku Ando Instant Ramen Museum to moon over a scale replica of Ando's noodle inventing workshop. The truly reverent can retrace those first conceptual steps with a lesson in instant-noodle making: Extrude flour noodle. Season. Deep-fry. Place in "self-decorated plastic bag."

And everyone else just keeps eating. Nissin, the company Ando founded, ships out 40 billion packages of Ramen a year (a figure that may explain how American college students are able to obtain 10 Ramen meals for a single dollar). From Tokyo to Timbuktu, what once took 10 minutes now takes two.

But are instant noodles really the most important invention of the 20th century? Do we detect a certain insouciance to this seemingly solemn pronouncement? (Karaoke came in at No. 2; Pokémon a respectable No. 8.) Of course not. -- Amy Standen [2:45 p.m. PST, Dec. 14, 2000]

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