To all the crackers I ever loved ...

Who is Andreas Bochelli? That's the question posed by a fast-mutating virus that may be clogging our Outlook inboxes, but is also warming our hearts.

If you poke around in the VBS script attached to the new worm virus entitled "Naked Wife," you'll find this sweet little message:

"Dedicated to all the people that want to be hackers or crackers, in Colombia. This program is also a protest act against the violence and corruption lives... I always wanting that all this finishes... I dedicate to all you the song 'GoodBye' of Andreas Bochelli."

We couldn't learn much about the hackers' intent from the lyrics of "GoodBye" (which, incidentally we more properly identified as the song "Time to say Goodbye" by Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman) -- though you can glean some poignantly romantic longing from the translated phrase "When I'm alone/I dream on the horizon/and words fail." But what we do know is that variations of this virus have been percolating across the Net since last fall, and the "Naked Wife" subject header seems to have spurred it into a heightened level of activity.

But how can you resist the beauty of a hack made in the name of freedom in Latin America? Sure, there might be more effective ways to end violence in Colombia but there's probably no swifter way to reach an audience of millions than to unleash an e-mail worm on the Net. Never mind the fact that most of those victims won't ever actually read the message, since you can only find it by essentially taking apart the virus. It's the thought that counts, right? Viva la revolution! --Janelle Brown [11:45 a.m. PST, March 9, 2001]

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New Yahoo buzzword says nothing

Lost in the misty mountains, Yahoo's future is too dark to see. At least that's what it sounds like from the new buzzword that Tim Koogle, soon to be former CEO of the company, couldn't stop dropping in the press conference about the company's adjusted earnings Wednesday. Put this in your buzzkiller and smoke it: "visibility."

"Visibility for the back half of 2001 is extremely limited," Koogle said. (Translation: "We don't know how much money we're going to make.")

Even analysts quoted by CNet's News.com about Yahoo picked up the mantra: Lehman Brothers analyst Holly Becker said Yahoo "still has a hefty valuation, a business model in transition, and very little earnings visibility."

Block that buzzword! -- Katharine Mieszkowski [5 p.m. PST, March 8, 2001]

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The stupidest plan to save the Net economy, EVER.

E-commerce truly is doomed, if the latest plan to revive it is any indication. Long time marketing maven Michael Tchong, editor and CEO of the news and opinion Web site Iconocast, is pushing a "Take Back The Net" campaign.

On April 3, Net users terrified of a future without Yahoo or Amazon should boycott all offline retail outlets, says Tchong. Even better, they should buy ten shares in their favorite Internet company: "Your participation will send a signal to Wall Street that Netizens will not abandon their favorite medium."

Never mind the vaguely disturbing co-optation of the phrase "Take Back the Night." Is ensuring the right to e-commerce on a par with preventing rape? We don't think so. And never mind the ludicrousness of this NPR-style pledge campaign to save the Internet economy. "We must band together and send the world a loud, clear message that the Net will not only survive, but thrive." If this is the best the Internet world can come up with at this point, then it really is time to start answering those help-wanted ads at Starbucks.

But that's not the worst of it: The stupidest element of this campaign is in the opening sentence: "Fueled by a lack of confidence, our economy is slipping into recession."

Please. It's not a lack of confidence that is killing the Internet economy. Venture capitalist greed -- which funneled hundreds of millions of dollars into bogus business plans while hoping to hit it big on premature IPOs -- killed the Internet economy. Marketing directors -- eager to spend millions more on glitzy television campaigns for Web sites pushing products that no one wanted to buy -- killed the Internet economy. A blithe disregard for the basic equation that demands revenue match expenses killed the Internet economy.

Accusing consumers of a lack of confidence is insulting, and a clear signal of desperation. Since we can't convince you to give us your money based on offering you value of some kind, why don't you just give us your money, period? --Andrew Leonard [3 p.m. PST, March 8, 2001]

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Yahoo seeks new blood

Wednesday morning, rumors began to swirl around Yahoo: The company had an important announcement to make. Trading in its stock was halted.

The big news that kept market watchers on edge turned out to be a disappointing earnings report -- in this downturn, what could be more predictable? More surprisingly, the company announced that Tim Koogle would step aside as CEO.

Koogle has long been a new economy poster boy -- the guy who came in and helped a couple of Stanford Net-heads turn their Web directory into a global media empire. His departure would mark the end of an era, except it seems that he's not departing entirely -- he'll remain as chairman and continue as CEO until the company finds his replacement.

Yahoo founder Jerry Yang told a conference call that bringing in new executives has always been a part of Yahoo's plan. "Their new and fresh perspective has only strengthened our company," he explained.

Still, the question is, why now? Is Yahoo sacrificing its leader to propitiate the angry market deities? Or has the company's board decided to ditch Koogle's go-it-alone strategy and seek a corporate marriage?

Either way, there's no reason to think that today's news marks any kind of long-term doom for Yahoo -- that it is, as one analyst declared, " just another dot-com implosion." The company did win the portal wars, after all, even if that prize looks less valuable now than a year ago. And Yahoo's disappointing quarter? The company didn't meet estimates; it only broke even.

Only broke even! How many of its competitors would wish for such a "bad" quarter? -- Scott Rosenberg and Damien Cave [3:45 p.m. PST, March 7, 2001]

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Geocaching goes mainstream

Was it just a few months ago that geocaching was an obscure sport practiced by gadget geeks and outdoors enthusiasts? These days, after coverage by everyone from the BBC to the Village Voice, the GPS treasure hunt -- in which perfect strangers hide "stashes" for later visitors to find -- has become so mainstream that it's even been granted its own tournament.

The MBNA Foxhall Cup has announced the $5,000 Geocaching Challenge, which is scheduled to take place from May 3 to the 6th in Atlanta simultaneously with the traditional Foxhall equestrian competition. (The relationship between horses and GPS treasure hunts remains murky, but what the heck: A challenge is a challenge.) Participants will hunt for increasingly difficult-to-find stashes, winning CDs, T-shirts and other prizes along the way. The grand prize will be a suitcase full of $5,000 in cash -- buried, of course, in a difficult place that only the greatest geocacher could possibly find.

Up until now, the best thing you might find in a geocaching stash was perhaps a CD-ROM or a map; $5,000 certainly ups the ante. This might be a good time to brush up on your GPS skills and break in those hiking boots. -- Janelle Brown [1:20 a.m. PST, March 5, 2001]

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What has Steve Jobs been smoking?

Sure, we all knew that Jobs had a history of dabbling in psychedelics, but one look at the latest iMac and we had to wonder if maybe he has been having a little problem with flashbacks. Yes, the newest iMac color appears to be, well, tie-dyed. If the "Cube" was designed with an eye for minimalist designers, the new iMac was apparently meant for aging hippies and Phish fans.

But if that weren't provocative enough, we have to wonder what on earth Jobs was thinking when he approved the ad campaign for the tie-dyed iMac. The tag line "Rip. Mix. Burn," of course, refers to the new iTunes software, which lets music fans rip their CDs into MP3s and then make their own mixed CDs using the included CD-RW drive. But by pointing out that that iMac is a potential piracy tool, Apple can't possibly be winning over anyone inside the Recording Industry Association of America (though it may be winning over quite a few new customers).

Heck, maybe Jobs just isn't much concerned about public image anymore. And RIAA lawsuits? Pah. Pass the herb! -- Janelle Brown [10:45 a.m. PST, March 5, 2001]

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Eudora to users: Don't even think about blocking our ads

"Something seems to be covering the ad... If you uncover the ad, this window won't keep popping up. You'd like that, right?"

That's the message appearing on my computer screen as I write these words. It's a note of warning from Eudora, a reminder that the e-mail program's free upgrade isn't really free. The "sponsored version" costs no money to download, but the program's ever-present advertisement extracts another currency: screen space and attention. As the error message points out, it's impossible not to pay up.

Every time you use Eudora, the Post-It-sized ad appears. There's no way to click it away or even to hide it behind your in box or an outgoing message. Opening other programs places the ad in the background, but if an Apple task bar covers the ad, for instance, Eudora sends you a pop-up window of warning. You must either "remove whatever is obscuring the ad," choose an ad-free "lite version" or cough up $39.95 to buy the actual software, ad-free.

Talk about guerrilla salesmanship. Despite claims that "we have done our best to present the ads in a way that respects the work you do in e-mail," Eudora has essentially created a system that uses intrusion to drive revenue. Many will probably consider this a disappointing development -- a betrayal of Eudora's free, independent, academic roots. But perhaps it's also simply a sign of leaner times. There's a message to this madness: Nothing on the Web is truly free. In this case, you can pony up the cash, or -- notes the Eudora download page -- "by allowing Eudora to display ads, you [can] get the full power of Eudora for free and we can still pay our bills." The choice isn't ideal, but it's ours for the making. --Damien Cave [11:30 a.m. PST, Feb. 28, 2001]

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Big surprise -- Appellate court loves Microsoft

Should anyone have been surprised at the spectacle of one appellate court judge after another stepping to the plate Tuesday to condemn Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson's comments to journalists about the Microsoft antitrust trial? Absolutely not. Jackson's injudicious remarks about Microsoft's behavior offered perfect cover for an appellate court eager to reverse the district court judge's breakup order.

Never mind the voluminous evidence that Microsoft is a monopoly and did indeed use its monopoly power to unfairly compete. None of that matters now, especially to judges who are predisposed not to vigorously enforce antitrust laws.

Two years ago, Salon published a story detailing how a decades long campaign by well-funded right wing legal activists had essentially brainwashed the federal judiciary on the topic of antitrust. The last two days of court hearings, in which Microsoft has been subjected to the lightest possible treatment while Justice Department prosecutors are given a cold shoulder, is proof, yet again, that the system has been fixed. --Andrew Leonard [11:15 a.m. PST, Feb. 28, 2001]

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