New-economy schizophrenia at the New York Times

There's a strange juxtaposition in today's New York Times business section. On Page C8, an article describes "the March Tornado" -- the sudden, steep and pervasive decline in newspaper and magazine advertising that some suspect "may rival the bad days of the early 90s." But right next door, on Page C9, is a big-budget, four-page advertising spread for IBM's e-business software.

Call it a quick tour of the new economy's present schizophrenic state: On your left, folks, the sky is falling. And on the right, the new economy sun keeps on shining.

But the real joke is the ad itself. An attempt to draw companies (and developers) to IBM's suite of multiplatform applications, the spread follows two programmers as they travel through companies in search of "better software." But these aren't your average everyday geeks and they don't come from Stanford or M.I.T. They're "codernauts" dressed in space suits with inflated boots. They come, the ad explains, "from a parallel universe" -- a place, presumably, where the bubble still hasn't burst. -- Damien Cave [11 a.m. PST, March 26, 2001]

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The Peter Pan backlash

When we discovered Randy Constan's Pixyland Page in which the nubile 47-year-old depicts himself as Peter Pan, complete with green tights, it seemed so over-the-top that it was beyond parody.

But the Net finds a way. "Sometimes it is just so hard to be diverse, but when I am in my Tutu, I feel like a rainbow," coos Jason, a purple tutued Peter Pan imitator, in his simpering satire of Constan's heart-felt style.

"Did you know that I love unicorns?" writes the self-described anti-Peter Pan. "One time I saw a unicorn. I was with my very good friend Bruce. We were in the woods having a picnic, when all of a sudden I saw a great big long white horn poking out of the darkness. I was scared at first, but having Bruce there made it better. Now I see unicorns all of the time."

Which just goes to show that there's no Net meme that won't find a sendup, and that there's more than enough cynicism out there to counterbalance even Peter Pan's ultra-earnest quest for Tinkerbell. -- Katharine Mieszkowski [11:15 a.m. PST, March 23, 2001]

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MP3.com wants artists to pay to play

Last week, MP3.com quietly announced a change in its infamous Payback for Playback program, which for the last year has been doling out $1 million per month to its most-listened-to artists. Bands that place music on MP3 will now have to ante up $20 a month for the privilege of being included in the program.

It could be a potential cash cow for MP3.com: The company currently hosts over 100,000 bands on its site, and almost everyone lusts after the Payback for Playback cash. If even 10 percent of those artists paid that monthly $20, that's $2.4 million a year. Considering that the company's embarrassing series of lawsuits has left the coffers dry, it seemed a wise way to bring in some extra cash.

But MP3.com artists aren't so pleased with the new twist. Sure, $20 a month isn't a lot of money, but the vast majority of MP3.com's artists aren't earning much Payback cash. Instead, the money mostly goes to a handful of very popular artists, while the entire system is plagued by accusations of cheating.

Almost immediately after MP3.com's announcement, artists began complaining about the new charges. And this week, MP3.com got its first public defection: The popular label Tokyo Dawn (total Playback cash: $1,481) announced that it is pulling out of MP3.com to protest the changes. In an open letter, the label complained that MP3.com "want[s] us to deliver the content and pay them money for getting a small share of the big money they earn with this content." The label also objects to other MP3.com fees -- the company takes 50 cents of every dollar that is donated to bands, half of all CD revenues, and permanent rights to all music that is posted within its pages.

Tokyo Dawn may have a somewhat tenuous grasp on the logic of dot-com revenues ("They have loads of visitors, so there should be enough money"), but they do recognize one critical fact about MP3.com: "We deliver their content, the only reason for their existence, and their only way to earn any money." MP3.com better hope that the other 99,999 artists don't figure this out too, and head for cheaper pastures. -- Janelle Brown [10:30 a.m. PST, March 23, 2001]

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Dot-commer with a begging bowl

Does your heart bleed for displaced dot-commers, reduced from code jockeying to dog walking? Do tears come to your eyes when you hear the latest heart-wrenching news of layoffs in Silicon Alley?

There's hope for you yet. Even now, one jobless dot-communist is inviting you to soothe your fat and happy, gainfully employed conscience a few cents at a time. Joe Steinberger, a self-described 24-year-old "new economoron," fired from his dot-com for lack of motivation after his stock options were reverse-split to nothing, will gladly take your money. He now spends his days sitting naked in front of his computer, boozing it up trying to cope with unemployment. "I DON'T EVEN HAVE CABLE TELEVISION FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!" he wails on his site.

But Steinberger hasn't completely succumbed to despair -- he's passing the virtual hat at his new Web site, The Hungry Site. It's a tastelessly funny parody of The Hunger Site, which encourages Web surfers to donate their eyeballs to feed the actually starving.

Steinberger's pitch: "Every 3.6 seconds another New Economy employee gets fired. Help save one former employee from going back to work." So far, his plea for cash has raised all of $2, and ad revenue from the site has commanded "enough cash to purchase three cigarettes," but Steinberger is undeterred.

If the Web surfers of the world won't hear his plea, he's not above hitting real-world pavement. Next week, he plans to plead his case on the real-world street "with a cup for collecting change and a sign that reads, 'Will work for $50,000 and dental plan.'" -- Katharine Mieszkowski [12:30 p.m. PST, March 22, 2001]

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Cosmonauts bid Fritz a fond farewell

When the Mir space station crashes to earth on Friday, Fritz will die with it. His friends will mourn the loss. They may cry, or wear black; at the very least, they say, "we will hold a minute of silence in respect."

Fritz won't know the difference. The chess program -- yes, program -- has no feelings, which is a good thing, considering what he'll soon be in for. When Mir enters the Earth's atmosphere in a blazing ball of flame, Fritz will simply melt.

Still, Fritz's fans at Chessbase.com figure a tribute is warranted. Fritz left Kazakhstan in April of 1999, protected in a CD jewel case, with only one goal: Make the cosmonauts happy.

Pictures tell the story of just how much happiness the chess program brought to the cosmonauts. Sometimes Fritz -- installed on a Fuji notebook computer -- clobbered his companions, other times he let them win. But always, Fritz kept on playing.

Soon, there will be no more Fritz. Both the Fritz CD-ROM and the Fuji notebook were left behind when the cosmonauts evacuated. There just wasn't any room on the ship.

We're sorry, Fritz. Goodbye. You'll be missed. -- Damien Cave [12:15 p.m. PST, March 22, 2001]

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Economy got you down? Try thinking positive

"Just as there seemed to be no end in sight on the upside a year ago, the market is equally dismal right now," said A.C. Moore, chief investment strategist for Dunvegan Associates in Santa Barbara, Calif., in an interview with the Associated Press. "Positive sentiment feeds on itself; negative sentiment feeds on itself."

After another day of watching the Dow sink more than 200 points, we've decided to ignore the pain, and try a new strategy: denial. After all, if positive sentiment feeds positive sentiment, clearly, worrying about the bad stuff will get us nowhere.

To that end, here are a few suggestions on how to think positive in these mad-cow days of economic gloom.

1. Cancel your subscriptions to all those cumbersome new-economy magazines.
2. Hike. Go see the monkeys at the zoo. Go anywhere far, far from the office.
3. Drink yourself into a warm, happy stupor.
4. Fornicate rabidly.
5. Learn to love the all-you-can-eat buffet.
6. Matinees, anyone?
7. Skip the front page stories and go straight to your paper's living/arts section.
8. Busk.
9. The Great American Novel, yours for the writing.
10. Take all those pennies to the bank. Who knows, they may really add up!

Here's to looking on the bright side. -- Salon Technology & Business staff [4:40 p.m. PST, March 21, 2001]

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"The Tripod Massacre" revisited

When Tripod half-accidentally, half-intentionally dumped hundreds of sites from its free Web-hosting community on Saturday, company spokespeople were tight-lipped about what, exactly, had happened, and when the mistakenly deleted sites would be reinstated.

The service did promise to make the fixes, however, and so far it has kept its word. "You can't do that on Star Trek" is back in working order, as is the Malaysian protest site MAHAFIRAUN 2020. The three-day-old Just Say No to Tripod! site reports that most of the fan fiction sites that had disappeared are now trickling back onto the Web.

But with no official word on which sites are to be restored and which are not, users have little choice but to wait and see whether their sites are scheduled for a comeback. Also unclear is how certain sites violated the terms-of-service agreement, and whether the site managers were given a chance to change their content to meet Tripod's rules.

What's left for some is a lingering resentment. As one user put it, "Would you go back to a Web space who deleted your stuff and then didn't even bother to tell you why or about this supposed 'technical glitch' that happened?" -- Amy Standen [2:30 p.m. PST, March 20, 2001]

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