Salon.com > Alcoholism http://www.salon.com Sat, 04 May 2013 00:11:04 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 I had to punish myself http://www.salon.com/2013/05/01/i_had_to_punish_myself/ http://www.salon.com/2013/05/01/i_had_to_punish_myself/#comments Wed, 01 May 2013 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.railrode.net/?p=13285855 Dear Cary,

You said in your column that you want letters ... so I think I might send you a few. I have some things I'm sorting through that I suspect your intuition/insight would be especially helpful with. They have to do with the past, addictions and creative growth. So, here's one. This is about an ex and moving past the past.

About 3.5 years ago I started dating someone I met through work. I broke up with my then-boyfriend of three years, with whom I lived, to be with the new guy. At the time I felt a few things: 1) that it was a soul mate connection, larger than me; 2) that I didn't really know why I was doing it because my current boyfriend was wonderful and I loved him; 3) that I didn't deserve to be treated well, and because the new guy reminded me so much of my alcoholic father, I knew he would treat me badly and at a deep level I wanted to be punished. I wish I could say No. 3 was a barely conscious or subconscious voice that I only later recognized, but I actually articulated that feeling, pretty much verbatim, to the boyfriend I was leaving. Well, the relationship turned out as one might expect. In addition to the alcoholism -- over which he was in denial, and in fact there is a whole lot of addiction and a whole lot of denial in his family -- he was verbally and emotionally abusive. There were lots of other problems too, but anyone who is familiar with dysfunctional/addictive relationships can probably fill in the details. I played my role in the dysfunction as well. We lasted about eight months. Most of that I was miserable, we had epic fights, I stayed because I told myself I needed to take my punishment, and by the time we broke up my self-esteem was in such shreds that I was cutting myself. I should add that I was in my mid-20s at the time and he was 10 years older. I finally broke up with him when I tried to interrupt one of his hours-long tirades by explaining (again) that it was not OK with me to be screamed at and called names, no matter how angry he was, and he responded with the following: "I get to yell at you when I'm angry." It wasn't until that moment that I realized I could explain and explain, but his behavior was not going to change because he thought it was an OK way to behave. If I thought it was not OK, it was on me to leave. So I did, and I got into a 12-step program, and I worked my program, and I went to therapy, and I got on with my life. I am much happier and healthier now than I have ever been, and I'm still growing, and I am in a healthy loving relationship of over a year.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2013/05/01/i_had_to_punish_myself/feed/ 35 Augusten Burroughs: “What did normal people do when they stopped drinking?” http://www.salon.com/2013/04/23/augusten_burroughs_what_did_normal_people_do_when_they_stopped_drinking/ http://www.salon.com/2013/04/23/augusten_burroughs_what_did_normal_people_do_when_they_stopped_drinking/#comments Tue, 23 Apr 2013 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.railrode.net/?p=13274513 When I was a kid, one of my many phobias was that somebody would read my diary. Not because I revealed anything particularly secret beyond run-of-the-mill complaints about my brother’s greasy metallic aroma or the lack of buying power afforded by my pittance of an allowance. It’s just that I’d written this journal only for me; it wasn’t polite enough or interesting enough or funny enough for anyone else to read.

Dry began as nothing more ambitious than a journal I started the day I returned to New York City from rehab in Minnesota.

I was feeling nearly electrified with the discomfort of existing with a blood alcohol level at zero. And I had no idea what to do with my sober self.

What did normal people do when they weren’t drinking?

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2013/04/23/augusten_burroughs_what_did_normal_people_do_when_they_stopped_drinking/feed/ 16 I woke up at age 35 http://www.salon.com/2013/03/22/i_woke_up_at_age_35/ http://www.salon.com/2013/03/22/i_woke_up_at_age_35/#comments Fri, 22 Mar 2013 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.railrode.net/?p=13248485 Dear reader,

I'd like to tell you a couple of things about my personal life and then I would like to make a request. Two things happened this week; one brought joy and one brought pain. I was told I'm still cancer-free. And our dog died.

Three years after surgery and proton beam radiation therapy for a sacral chordoma there is no sign of recurrence. Dr. Christopher Ames of UCSF, toward whom I have the crazy mix of extreme emotions one can only have toward a surgeon who has opened one up and carefully cut away bone and tissue and helped to make one whole again, said, "Go enjoy your life." So Norma and I went and had lunch at the Cliff House, on whose deck we were married almost 20 years ago.

Then our dog died. He was the second of our two standard poodles to die within the last year. That was rough.

Now we have no more dogs to die. We feel strangely alone in the house.

So it's been up and down, as life is. Those of you who have loved dogs and seen them die, and/or who have gone through the terror and pain of cancer surgery and radiation, will relate. I say this not to ask for sympathy but to signal that you and I are not alone in these things. I know you are out there and I know you know what it is like.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2013/03/22/i_woke_up_at_age_35/feed/ 12 My sober conversion to atheism http://www.salon.com/2013/03/03/my_sober_conversion_to_atheism_partner/ http://www.salon.com/2013/03/03/my_sober_conversion_to_atheism_partner/#comments Sun, 03 Mar 2013 19:00:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13216306 the fix

I stood on a mountaintop and looked out over the sea. A thousand feet below me, eagles soared on thermals. Wind blew through my hair and I felt dizzy. I fell to my knees and cried. I didn't realize it at the time, but this “white-light” experience was the moment I realized there was no God — I had been struck atheist.

To be accurate and appropriately less dramatic, my atheist conversion was far from immediate. It was a process that began when I got sober about five years earlier.

I finally stopped drinking and drugging at age 30, in the summer of 2004, after about 15 years of relatively high-functioning abuse. I took to 12-step recovery like a fish to water and was especially drawn to Alcoholics Anonymous’ message of a spiritual solution.

I was perfectly comfortable with spirituality. I had been exposed from an early age to a hodge-podge of spiritual ideas by Goldwater Republican parents who had baptized me Episcopalian but referenced Joseph Campbell and the Buddha in casual conversation and sent me to an astrologer in lieu of a child psychologist.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2013/03/03/my_sober_conversion_to_atheism_partner/feed/ 318 “Inside Rehab”: How it could work better, and why it doesn’t http://www.salon.com/2013/02/03/inside_rehab_how_it_could_work_better_and_why_it_doesnt/ http://www.salon.com/2013/02/03/inside_rehab_how_it_could_work_better_and_why_it_doesnt/#comments Sun, 03 Feb 2013 21:00:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13189293 Maybe Amy Winehouse had a point: However flippant that sounds, many a reader will be thinking it (or something like it) after finishing Anne M. Fletcher's "Inside Rehab." Fletcher visited 15 addiction-treatment programs, from the high-end to the bare-bones, and interviewed staffers, researchers, experts and over a hundred clients and their families. She collected data from an impressively wide range of studies and surveys. Nearly 3 million Americans seek help for substance-use disorders in speciality facilities annually (not including the nearly 2.5 million who opt for self-help groups like Alcoholics Anonymous) and we spend $35 billion on treating these disorders, so it's surprising how little most of us know about what goes on in rehab.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2013/02/03/inside_rehab_how_it_could_work_better_and_why_it_doesnt/feed/ 24 My husband won’t see the doctor http://www.salon.com/2013/01/31/my_husband_wont_see_the_doctor/ http://www.salon.com/2013/01/31/my_husband_wont_see_the_doctor/#comments Thu, 31 Jan 2013 01:00:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13186097 Dear Cary,

My spouse refuses to see the doctor!

I am very worried and frustrated about my spouse's health. But every time I bring up seeing a doctor or getting help or anything he gets defensive and angry and tells me I'm bitching at him or patronizes me by saying it's not a big deal or he'll consider what I'm saying. But he never does. I have been with him for 13 years, we have two young children, ages 7 and 3, and I told him that I thought it was selfish and inconsiderate of him not to think about how we would feel if we lost him. This only upset him and he has shut down in speaking about it now.

Reason for my concern is legitimate. He smokes three to four packs a day, he has high blood pressure (he always has and the only reason I know this is I made him go to the E.R. twice in our relationship and both times, high blood pressure) and he is a heavy drinker. He's recently not as bad as he used to be; he was a raging alcoholic for about eight years and now is at about three to four glasses of vodka or mixed drinks a day. On weekends it's more. 

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2013/01/31/my_husband_wont_see_the_doctor/feed/ 25 My son, the repeat offender http://www.salon.com/2013/01/24/my_son_the_repeat_offender/ http://www.salon.com/2013/01/24/my_son_the_repeat_offender/#comments Thu, 24 Jan 2013 18:16:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13179923 In the summer of 2011, I was driving my youngest son and his friend to swim in a lake when I got the call that Zachary, my oldest son, was on his way to the county jail to turn himself in. I can’t say that I didn’t expect this, but my body shook at the news. I had stopped in a parking lot and gotten out of the car to take the call. I felt like throwing up. But I had to keep going. I had promised his little brother we’d go swimming, and there was nothing I could do anyway.

Zachary had recently turned 21, had been a volunteer firefighter for two years, and had been going to college. He had also just completed training to be an EMT. Apparently, in his spare time, he was hanging out in a trailer park south of town with a group of kids. He had always been emotionally immature, so it made sense he would gravitate to people younger than himself. One night, one of them texted him, asked him to bring them some alcohol. She said a girl wanted to meet him. He went. The girl jumped in his truck. They rode off.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2013/01/24/my_son_the_repeat_offender/feed/ 28 Ireland may allow “moderately” drunk driving http://www.salon.com/2013/01/22/ireland_may_allow_moderately_drunk_driving/ http://www.salon.com/2013/01/22/ireland_may_allow_moderately_drunk_driving/#comments Tue, 22 Jan 2013 22:42:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13179144 the fix Is isolation more dangerous than drunk driving? This is the logic behind a a controversial new law in Ireland that would permit "moderately" drunk driving. If a new measure passed yesterday in Kerry county is approved by the Department of Justice, residents who have had “two or three drinks” will be permitted to drive in rural areas. Councillor Danny Healy-Rae, who introduced the motion, says he is concerned about older rural residents who are “being isolated now at home, and a lot of them falling into depression.” The lack of public transportation makes it difficult for these people to visit the pub. “In rural parishes, that’s well we have—we don’t have anything else,” says Healy-Rae. “All they want to do [here] is talk to neighbors, talk to friends, play cards, talk about the match and the price of cattle, about such a lady going out with such a fella, and it’s harmless.” He adds that extreme isolation even drives many older people to suicide. "I see the merit in having a stricter rule of law for when there's a massive volume of traffic and where there's busy roads with massive speed," he says. "But on the roads I'm talking about, you couldn't do any more than 20 or 30 miles per hour and it's not a big deal.”

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2013/01/22/ireland_may_allow_moderately_drunk_driving/feed/ 29 Is John Boehner hitting the bottle? http://www.salon.com/2013/01/14/is_john_boehner_hitting_the_bottle/ http://www.salon.com/2013/01/14/is_john_boehner_hitting_the_bottle/#comments Mon, 14 Jan 2013 19:36:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13170822 the fix Five days before Christmas, House Speaker John Boehner stood before the Republican-controlled Congress—his Plan B alternative for avoiding the fiscal cliff defeated by lack of votes from his own party, a public humiliation and repudiation of the Speaker’s authority, rare in House history. Choking back tears, Boehner faced his colleagues and surrendered himself to a Higher Authority: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference,” Boehner intoned.

The Serenity Prayer was an odd choice for a guy whose drinking had drawn years of public and private scrutiny (there’s even a blog called DrunkBoehner dedicated to chronicling his meltdowns).

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2013/01/14/is_john_boehner_hitting_the_bottle/feed/ 27 My friend is out of control http://www.salon.com/2013/01/14/my_friend_is_out_of_control/ http://www.salon.com/2013/01/14/my_friend_is_out_of_control/#comments Mon, 14 Jan 2013 01:00:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13165516 Dear Cary,

I'm a graduate student in my mid-20s and my best friend is someone whom I have known since kindergarten and we've been friends since we were 10. My best friend is someone whom I love dearly. I want more than anything for her to be happy, but she's been kind of a mess for a while now and it's starting to affect our friendship. For the past four or five years she's never been single for more than a couple of weeks and has dated a series of men who in a variety of ways have all treated her extremely poorly. I'm not a fool and I realize these poor choices in men stem from her lack of self-worth. I've tried to be there for her as best as I can even though I've always hated these guys, and I've always told her that while I might not approve of her dating choices, I love her no matter what, and I can't judge her decisions to do what she feels she needs to do.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2013/01/14/my_friend_is_out_of_control/feed/ 22 My lucky thunder thighs http://www.salon.com/2013/01/06/my_lucky_thunder_thighs/ http://www.salon.com/2013/01/06/my_lucky_thunder_thighs/#comments Sun, 06 Jan 2013 02:00:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13162164 The fourth rejection happened at a small topless club called Little Darlings. I leaned over to Trixie. “Ask him why he won’t hire me,” I whispered. She walked over to the manager and said something I couldn’t hear over Van Halen’s “Panama.” They disappeared behind a door.

On the floor of the club, a small-boned brunette with flawless golden skin and a ponytail sat on a guy’s lap, and then led him to the VIP lap dancing area. I wondered if my candy heart tattoos were too edgy for Vegas. So far, the three fanciest strip clubs hired Trixie while I fumed on a bar stool, wondering how I’d become so unemployable. After all, I was blonde. I had big boobs. I was tan.

When Trixie appeared again, she lit a Menthol and tossed her lighter into a glass ashtray. She looked at me like she had a horrible secret to tell.

“My hair too short?” I unclipped a rhinestone barrette and shook my stiff curls loose.

“Nope.”

“Tattoos?”

“Nuh-uh.” She exhaled a minty cloud above my head. “There’s something puffy going on.” She pointed at my legs.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2013/01/06/my_lucky_thunder_thighs/feed/ 59 All my wasted New Year’s http://www.salon.com/2013/01/01/all_my_wasted_new_years/ http://www.salon.com/2013/01/01/all_my_wasted_new_years/#comments Tue, 01 Jan 2013 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13157039 Like every other party girl, I was always in search of the perfect New Year's Eve. Four years ago, I rang it in at a club on the Lower East Side with my then-boyfriend. Champagne rained down on our heads at midnight as we stood on a dance floor spilling over with people and vodka. I had always been searching for this feeling of belonging, this euphoria, and I had reached that beautiful point where I was slightly tipsy but not yet drunk, and I vowed to stay there this time.

Somehow, though, I managed to talk him into hitting up one more bar before we headed back to my parents’ place. And somehow, I managed to down another drink, then another, despite his hand reaching out to stop me. I remember flashes of dancing, and then stumbling home, and screaming something about the “golden-haired prince,” a waiter I just knew was flirting with me.

When I got home, I ran to the bathroom to throw up, and then came back as if nothing had happened. I did this multiple times before passing out, mascara smeared all over my face, one heel on and the other off. I was still wearing my glittery dress.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2013/01/01/all_my_wasted_new_years/feed/ 42 Study: Alcohol, not marijuana, is bad for your brain http://www.salon.com/2012/12/21/study_alcohol_not_marijuana_is_bad_for_your_brain/ http://www.salon.com/2012/12/21/study_alcohol_not_marijuana_is_bad_for_your_brain/#comments Fri, 21 Dec 2012 20:49:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13152572 AlterNet Some new science demonstrates that marijuana may not have the harmful effects critics claim. In fact, while pot had no measured impact in a new study, the very legal and very lucratively-marketed substance alcohol actually has a worse health impact on young users.

Specifically, a new study of substance-using teenagers' brains shows that the regular use of alcohol had a harmful effect on the boozing group, while the toking-up group's brains suffered little alteration.

From Medical Daily, emphasis ours:

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2012/12/21/study_alcohol_not_marijuana_is_bad_for_your_brain/feed/ 16 A DWI offer you can’t refuse http://www.salon.com/2012/11/23/a_dwi_offer_you_cant_refuse/ http://www.salon.com/2012/11/23/a_dwi_offer_you_cant_refuse/#comments Fri, 23 Nov 2012 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13105344 Officer Taylor cruised through the Austin metro for almost two hours before she finally collared a drunk driver around midnight. Sure, it was a Wednesday night—but it was also Halloween.

the fixFor Taylor, it was about time. She’s a busy-body by nature, and it couldn’t have helped that she was saddled with a hack writer. Because no one else raised their hand and because she’s the rookie in the Austin Police Department’s (APD) 14-member DWI unit, Officer Taylor “volunteered” to serve as ride-along chaperone during one of the department’s “No Refusal” weekends. It’s probably fair to say we both got excited when she finally hit the lights.

Texas’ No Refusal law is pretty straightforward. If a police officer—after a reasonable detention to investigate his or her informed suspicion of public intoxication—can demonstrate probable cause that a vehicle operator is drunk, and if that person refuses to “volunteer” potential evidence to further the investigation, the officer can apply for a warrant from the night judge to take a biological sample to prove it.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2012/11/23/a_dwi_offer_you_cant_refuse/feed/ 12 My dad’s gone off the rails http://www.salon.com/2012/11/07/my_dads_gone_off_the_rails/ http://www.salon.com/2012/11/07/my_dads_gone_off_the_rails/#comments Wed, 07 Nov 2012 01:00:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13064089 Cary,

I am writing to ask your advice on how to proceed with my father. Five years ago this month my mother got her diagnosis of liver cancer, the day of her 60th birthday. Her initial diagnosis was six to 12 months, and she passed after four years of treatment, so technically she "beat the odds." She and my father saved scrupulously during their 40-year marriage -- he working sometimes seven days a week, 12 hours a day as a union boilermaker (pressure-vessel welder) and she handling every other aspect of our lives. All he had to do was work, and she took care of the rest. We lived comfortably, and they were able to take four big vacations a year once retired.

He led a rough life before meeting my mother. His childhood ended at 14 when his father left his mother with four kids, and he had to work after school to feed the family, eventually going to vocational school instead of following his dream of being a doctor. He was in the Air Force in Vietnam as an engine mechanic and generally led a wild and carousing-oriented life until Mom came along and "tamed" him. Mom was one of those people who saw the best person you could be when she looked at you, and behaved accordingly, expecting you to do the same.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2012/11/07/my_dads_gone_off_the_rails/feed/ 14 How to find a therapist? http://www.salon.com/2012/11/02/how_to_find_a_therapist/ http://www.salon.com/2012/11/02/how_to_find_a_therapist/#comments Fri, 02 Nov 2012 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13059851 Dear Cary,

I'm 46. I need help or advice on how to find a therapist. I have been in recovery since July 5, 2010. I have been working the AA program, with a sponsor, working the steps. My life is much better than it was when I was drinking -- so much better. If I try to stand outside of myself, I am awed at how it is better, in all ways, except ... I still don't have a desire to succeed in life. I don't really even have an active desire to be alive at all. I am not obsessed with thoughts of ending my life, but the thought is always there. It is not urgent, and it's not something I feel I want to act upon, but the thought is always there. I need assistance finding my way out of this thicket of thorns, and I am afraid and ashamed to ask for it.

My fingers hesitate to write more. My mother inflicted much physical pain on me from the time I was an infant. She slapped me in the face regularly, from the time I was an infant. People around knew of this and I don't know what they were expected to do but they did nothing. Well, an aunt walked out once, rather than witness it anymore. She speaks today of this action with pride. Way to go, aunt. Good for you. This abuse eventually became almost ritualistic in nature: I would have to kneel in front of my mother and she would raise her hand as high as she could and slap me as hard as she could. If I flinched, this fed her evil nature, and she'd repeat the action until I stopped flinching. I feel like I'm in a basement room full of dirt.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2012/11/02/how_to_find_a_therapist/feed/ 24 I want candy http://www.salon.com/2012/11/01/i_want_candy/ http://www.salon.com/2012/11/01/i_want_candy/#comments Thu, 01 Nov 2012 17:22:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13059793 the fix

It was 11:42 pm on a Monday, and I'd just been dumped by the nice guy from Alaska. We'd been dating for three months before he realized, after a messy and recent divorce from his "best friend," that he wasn't ready to fall in love again. I'd had my doubts about our relationship, too, but I'd stuffed them down—goddammit, this was going to work.

But... It didn't work, and here I was, teary and hollow on the couch, hit by a towering wave of craving. I needed candy. Now. Not any candy—a certain kind. Rather, two certain kinds, both sold in bulk: a vaguely sour but mostly sugary "natural" gummy bear, and a bracingly sweet sort of tropical-flavored jelly bean. I knew I could find said candies at the Safeway on Market Street, so I threw on my coat, grabbed my car keys, and ignored the irritating internal voice that calculated the calories and scolded me against the sugar. I knew that voice was right—once I started, I wouldn't stop—but right now, in this miserable moment, I didn't give a shit.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2012/11/01/i_want_candy/feed/ 4 An American alcoholic in Paris http://www.salon.com/2012/10/11/an_american_alcoholic_in_paris/ http://www.salon.com/2012/10/11/an_american_alcoholic_in_paris/#comments Thu, 11 Oct 2012 22:37:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13037845 Something odd occurred to me when I first got sober: “If I go to Paris, how will I not drink wine?”

the fix It was this fantasy that stuck with me, of sitting in a charming Parisian café, wearing a boucle jacket, holding a glass of Rosé in one hand and a gold-tipped Nat Sherman in the other, and I was going to exchange this perfect set piece for what? Sobriety? Oh hell no.

Thankfully, I have always had good sponsors. And mine at the time said, “I’m sorry, are you in Paris right now?”

“Well, no….”

“Then I guess you don’t have to worry about that, do you?”

But guess what, dear old sponsor? I'm in Paris now.

Which gives me license to ask, nearly eight years since I first asked, does that glass of Rosé in Paris still sparkle? Yes it does.

Two weeks ago, I moved Los Angeles to Paris for graduate school. As you might expect, I have been to many, many Parisian cafés since I arrived (in fact, I have never drank so much coffee nor eaten so much bread in my life), and I have spent time watching people sit and drink—Rosé, chardonnay. But I do not crave the glass of Rosé sitting at the café. Because my cravings do not work the way normal people drink.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2012/10/11/an_american_alcoholic_in_paris/feed/ 12 Must I drink to socialize? http://www.salon.com/2012/10/09/must_i_drink_to_socialize/ http://www.salon.com/2012/10/09/must_i_drink_to_socialize/#comments Tue, 09 Oct 2012 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13034181 Hi Cary,

I love your column, and I am struggling with a problem I think you and your readers might have some insight on. I'm a 24-year-old female living on the West Coast. I have a fairly active social life but I have trouble making close friends. I am a bit of an introvert --  I don't like being the center of attention and I feel most comfortable in small social settings.

I'm shy and a bit socially awkward, and I feel like I fumble along when too many people turn their eyes to me. However, I am no stranger to the powers of alcohol. As soon as I have a couple drinks in me I become intensely more sociable. It's like my brain finally turns on, and I finally have something substantial to contribute to the conversation. I know that this is the seductive power of alcohol -- it makes you seem more interesting, more charming, more charismatic, and I think in my case it really does make me a little bit more of all these qualities. Now that I've had a few years of experience with the powers of alcohol, I want to make sure I don't develop a social crutch where I feel like I need alcohol to be interesting and responsive in social settings. I'm definitely not going to actively avoid alcohol because it's such a prominent aspect of my social life with my peers and I don't feel like I use it recklessly, but I do want to figure out how to trigger the "me," that inner sparkle, that is revealed when I drink alcohol, without having to drink alcohol. It's time for job interviews, and dating, and networking, and I feel like once I harness the inner charm in me that is so often dormant, I will thrive. Am I forever doomed to be the boring girl until I get some drinks in me?

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2012/10/09/must_i_drink_to_socialize/feed/ 39 “Workaholism” is real http://www.salon.com/2012/10/02/workaholism_is_real/ http://www.salon.com/2012/10/02/workaholism_is_real/#comments Tue, 02 Oct 2012 22:38:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13028563 You're sitting at your desk, scrolling through the Alcoholics Anonymous website, when your boss walks up behind you. Not the best career move you'll ever make, perhaps.  But let's say you're looking at the Workaholics Anonymous site instead, the section about how even when you're not in the office you're still toiling away. What then? Does your boss give you a talking to, or does he give you a raise?

the fix

This rather glib question captures something important about how society views work addiction. Recently, a business strategy website published an article with the headline "Four Famous Workaholics (And The Secrets of Their Success)." It's hard to imagine any other addiction eliciting this kind of approach: "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Junkies," say, or "The Sipping Point."

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