Who is Mark Judge? He is some guy writing an opinion column for Tucker Carlson's online magazine, "Assumption of Trayvon Martin's Guilt Illustrated." (He is also the author of some awful-sounding book about being a right-wing Catholic who likes rock 'n' roll music, and he once wrote an unintentionally funny review of John McWhorter's book about hip-hop.)

What happened is, he had his bike locked to his car while he went to services on Good Friday, and when he came back, his bike was gone, and he doesn't think a nun stole it so basically his parents lied to him when they said "we are all the same" and his favorite movie is no longer "In the Heat of the Night." (The deductive reasoning on display is staggering: It couldn't have been monks, must have been black people.)

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In a letter sent Wednesday to CBS News Chairman and "60 Minutes" executive producer Jeff Fager, lawyer Elliot Peters said the May 22 segment about Armstrong was built on a series of falsehoods, and he accused the reputable CBS show of sloppy journalism.

"In the cold light of morning your story was either extraordinarily shoddy, to the point of being reckless and unprofessional, or a vicious hit-and-run job," Peters wrote. "In either case, a categorical on-air apology is required."

CBS News spokesman Kevin Tedesco said Wednesday he couldn't immediately comment on the letter, but said: "We consider this the most thorough investigation into doping in the sport of cycling ever done."

Former teammate Tyler Hamilton alleged in the piece that Armstrong talked about using the banned blood-booster EPO to prepare for his third Tour de France in 2001 and cycling's governing body, the International Cycling Union, helped him hide a positive test at the Swiss event.

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I was about halfway there and needed to make a left turn that required first cutting through a lane of quickly moving cars. I looked behind me, and saw a white sedan far enough back that I had room to cross over. I signaled my intention, and then looked back again to make sure the sedan had noticed me. The sedan slowed and I took the lane. While waiting for the light to change, I noticed the sedan was also turning left, but thought nothing more of it.

I made it to the store, returned my DVD, and was unlocking my bike to ride back home when a tall stranger called out to me.

"I want you to know that you have convinced me to buy a bike."

My brow furrowed. What new scam was this?

Then I noticed he too was holding a DVD in his hands.

He continued -- "I was behind you back on Shattuck..."

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And what did Maes do to deserve such treatment, after his stirring come-from-behind victory over establishment hack Scott McInnis? Well, for one, he argued last week that a Denver bike-sharing program is part of a "well-disguised" U.N. plot to take away our sovereignty.

Maes is running against Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper, so it's understandable that he'd attack Hickenlooper's record. And, obviously, Hickenlooper's weakest point is his apparent desire to tear up the Constitution and replace it with a U.N. treaty, as evidenced by his support for bicycling more.

Maes knows that sounds "kooky," but:

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I told him I wouldn't let that happen. "I will be sleeping with this bicycle," I said.

He nodded, deadpan. "Not a bad idea at all."

And then I sped away, riding a wave of shiny new bicycle euphoria, along with my beautiful steel-framed Bianchi. Two months ago, my home was broken into and my laptop, bicycle, and the leather jacket I inherited from my father were stolen. It is a stab in the gut to lose a bike that I had ridden ten thousand miles on in the last ten years, a sucker-punch that just kept on giving. But nothing heals such wounds like a new bicycle.

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Copenhagenize.com, The Copenhagen Bike Culture Blog, somehow managed to dig up clipping from the Indianapolis Star, circa 1980 that trashes the notion of bike lanes in New York City in language so malevolent as to beggar description.

A couple of excerpts:

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The Japanese embrace technological solutions to problems.

Q.E.D.: A robotic bike-parking machine conveniently located near subway stations that stores and retrieves bicycles quickly and efficiently (and reasonably cheaply -- about 20 bucks a month ).

The Guardian has the non-embeddable video. The whole process seems vaguely Rube-Goldbergian, but that's what makes it so crazy cool.

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If you hate Lycra-clad bikers, you'll hate 'em even more after watching this. If you hate uber-cool fixie urban biker hipsters even more than you hate Lycra-clad bikers, you'll be dancing in the aisles.

And yeah, it is all about performance. It's the name of the game. And yes, I do pump up my tires and oil my chain. I did so just a few hours ago, in fact.

My favorite quattrain:

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My favorite part comes when MacAskill is shown waiting patiently for a red light to turn green, and then immediately proceeds to do something utterly insane. I dearly love the combination of respectful cyclist etiquette with deranged Evel Knievel suicidal tendencies.

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But be thankful for small favors: In Colorado, a new law makes it illegal to throw objects at cyclists. Previously it had only been illegal to hit a cyclist with a beer bottle or other missile.

Now, I'm not one to claim that all cyclists are angels. I can't disagree with Larimer County, Colo., Sheriff James Alderden, who, reports Hughes, "said he thinks some bicyclists, 'cop an attitude' when it comes to following traffic laws." On a century ride this past Saturday I witnessed numerous incidents of bad cyclist behavior, including blowing through stop signs and red lights when there was traffic present, and one pace line of a half-dozen cyclists who seemed determined to ride next to the median, instead of by the shoulder. I was even remonstrated at one point, when I attempted to move by a slow-climbing cyclist on a hill and was told by a passing driver that "cyclists should stay in single file." I felt abashed.

But the idea that until Colorado's new law was passed, police couldn't cite motorists for throwing objects at cyclists if their aim happened to be a little off is just ridiculous. And how about that Rick Perry, governor of Texas? In June, Texas lawmakers joined a growing number of states by passing a law that requires that cars must give riders a 3-foot berth out on the open road. Perry vetoed it.

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To wit: The current cover of the East Bay Monthly. Ho ho ho!

I usually like to ride in the East Bay Hills, but now I'm wondering, how how long would it take to pedal to Bogotá, Colombia from Berkeley?

As Commissioner of Parks, Sports and Recreation for the city of Bogotá, Guillermo Penalosa oversaw the creation of 174 "physically separate" bike paths, and numerous other municipal enhancements meant to send the message, in his words, "that a person on a thirty dollar bike is as important as a person in a 30,000 dollar car." Penalosa spoke at the Commonwealth Club in San Francisco in November, and if you've got seven minutes to spare, it's worth it, if just to groove on the enthusiasm in his voice as he scrolls through slides showing bike paths snaking through the city.

Or, to boil down his presentation in just four words:

"Can you imagine? Fantastic!"

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Some excerpts:

Whereas a national transportation system conducive to bicycling produces enriched health, reduced traffic congestion and air pollution, economic vitality, and an overall improved quality of living is valuable for the Nation...

Whereas by dramatically increasing levels of bicycling in United States cities tangible and intangible benefits to the quality of life for cities and towns across the country will be realized...

Whereas bicycle commuters annually save on average $1,825 in auto-related costs, reduce their carbon emissions by 128 pounds, conserve 145 gallons of gasoline, and avoid 50 hours of gridlock traffic...

Now, therefore, be it Resolved by the House of Representatives (the Senate concurring), That the Congress-- (1) recognizes that increased and safe bicycle use for transportation and recreation is in the national interest...

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2008/03/13/year_of_the_bicycle/feed/ 22 http://www.salon.com/2007/09/14/bike_paths/ http://www.salon.com/2007/09/14/bike_paths/#comments Fri, 14 Sep 2007 12:00:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/news/feature/2007/09/14/bike_paths Imagine you're the federal official in the Bush administration charged with overseeing the nation's transportation infrastructure. A major bridge collapses on an interstate highway during rush hour, killing 13 people and injuring an additional 100. Whom to blame? How about the nation's bicyclists and pedestrians!

The Minneapolis bridge collapse on Aug. 1 led Secretary of Transportation Mary Peters to publicly reflect on federal transportation spending priorities and conclude that those greedy bicyclists and pedestrians, not to mention museumgoers and historic preservationists, hog too much of the billions of federal dollars raised by the gas tax, money that should go to pave highways and bridges. Better still, Peters, a 2006 Bush appointee, apparently doesn't see biking and walking paths as part of transportation infrastructure at all.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2007/09/14/bike_paths/feed/ 65 http://www.salon.com/2006/07/05/bike_2/ http://www.salon.com/2006/07/05/bike_2/#comments Wed, 05 Jul 2006 22:32:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/technology/how_the_world_works//2006/07/05/bike Somehow, it only seems right and fitting that San Francisco, home to some of the world's most aggressive bike activists, has spawned one of the world's most determined anti-biking activists. For every pedal action, there's an opposite and equal reaction?

Rob Anderson, described by the San Francisco Bay Guardian as a "63-year-old dishwasher, blogger ... and failed District 5 supervisorial candidate," who is motivated by a "deep animosity toward the bicycle community," has succeeded in bringing the city's ambitious Bicycle Plan to a screeching halt. In response to a lawsuit filed by Anderson claiming that the plan had not received the level of environmental review required by the California Environmental Quality Act, a judge issued a preliminary injunction halting any further action on completing bicycle-related projects that are part of the plan -- including, says the Guardian, any new bicycle lanes anywhere in the city or plans to allow more bikes on mass transit.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2006/07/05/bike_2/feed/ 17 http://www.salon.com/2005/07/08/77_2/ http://www.salon.com/2005/07/08/77_2/#comments Fri, 08 Jul 2005 21:01:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/news/feature/2005/07/08/77 Pedaling hard through the July rain showers in yellow and black waterproofs -- picture a damp wasp -- circumnavigating police exclusion zones and exchanging garbled words with cops to find the "quickest way to get to the City." Who is this psycho heading toward the explosions? There isn't time to explain that this is my own private nightmare, playing out exactly as I have imagined it dozens of times. "When," not "if," we had been told by police and politicians. One day the call would come -- and to me personally. It came today. So now I am zig-zagging through side streets, around King's Cross, St. Pancras, Holborn and the splendor of Lincoln's Inn Fields, toward the River and St. Paul's Cathedral. Toward the terror zone.

You head toward the smoke and the dust and the bodies if your son goes to school in the City of London. If your son rides the subway early every morning with City workers -- dealers, brokers, analysts -- into London's financial district. If his destination, in short, would be a terrorist's bulls-eye. I had imagined dozens of times the day of the long-anticipated strike against London -- most likely in the morning rush hour, most likely centered on the Square Mile of the City, most likely underground. Only a crude calculation of risk quelled my shudders.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2005/07/08/77_2/feed/ 0 http://www.salon.com/2003/01/14/sequel/ http://www.salon.com/2003/01/14/sequel/#comments Tue, 14 Jan 2003 00:08:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/news/sports/col/kaufman/2003/01/13/sequel Serena Williams was named the winner of the prestigious Salon Sports Person of the Year award Jan. 3. That selection sparked a firestorm of letters, not so much because of Williams' selection but because readers felt that I had insulted Lance Armstrong, bicycle racing, Europe, cancer survivors and perhaps a few other things when I called it outrageous that others, especially Sports Illustrated, had named Armstrong Sportsman of the Year.

There was also that part where I wrote that cycle racing was an obscure sport with a skill set that could be described thusly: "pedaling fast and not falling over." That chapped a few heinies.

I love the interplay with my readers, but I couldn't respond personally to each of the dozens of people who wrote, so I compiled a sort of Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) about the piece in question. It might also be called a Frequently Launched Attacks, although that doesn't have quite the same ring, and anyway the abbreviation FLA is already taken.

There's more to bike racing, you idiot, than "pedaling fast and not falling over." You idiot!

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2003/01/14/sequel/feed/ 0 http://www.salon.com/2000/10/25/cycling_2/ http://www.salon.com/2000/10/25/cycling_2/#comments Wed, 25 Oct 2000 19:23:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/sex/world/2000/10/25/cycling Males who return from an arduous day of mountain biking and discover that their balls are bruised and sore should no longer wonder if such activity is dangerous. According to a recent study from Austria, it is.

In a necessarily delicate study of 45 male mountain bikers published this week in the Lancet, a research team from University Hospital in Innsbruck concluded that 96 percent experienced "scrotal abnormalities," including calcium deposits, cysts and twisted veins -- the latter of which are known to impair fertility. (Oh, and we shouldn't neglect to mention the pain from being continually smashed against a bike seat.) A comparative study of 31 nonbiking males showed that only 16 percent had such abnormalities, with the rest of the group demonstrating healthy, robust scrota.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2000/10/25/cycling_2/feed/ 0 http://www.salon.com/1998/10/14/feature_74/ http://www.salon.com/1998/10/14/feature_74/#comments Wed, 14 Oct 1998 19:00:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/travel/feature/1998/10/14/feature The plan: Holland, children, bicycles. We figured the rest would evolve on its own.

"Flat," my husband said. "The whole country is flat. Bike paths all over the place."

A landscape materialized at once in my head. You can imagine the particulars: windmill, tulips, cow, canal, pedaling 12- and 16-year-old. Sunshine. Waving farmer. Cheese.

"Legal weed," the 16-year-old chipped in.

"Not for you," I said.

We bought a Holland guidebook, with many photographs of Rembrandt paintings and elaborately gabled canal-front brick houses, but the Bicycles section was only two pages long and commenced with a photograph of a bike helmet. Ha! (We'll get to that in a moment.) We found what seemed to be a suitable Holland Tourist Board Web site, animated on-screen by a little mustached man who pedaled along as you plotted out various rural cycling routes, but every time I tried to download the maps my computer snarled at me and dumped the site.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/1998/10/14/feature_74/feed/ 0 http://www.salon.com/1998/07/16/post_13/ http://www.salon.com/1998/07/16/post_13/#comments Thu, 16 Jul 1998 19:00:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/travel/feature/1998/07/16/post DUBLIN, Ireland --The preparations begin early, crowds gather and the excitement mounts. Suddenly there's a flash of color, a burst of noise, and then it's gone again, leaving people slightly unsure of what they've just seen. So it is that cyclists fly by as you watch from the side of the road, and so it is that the Tour de France leaves Ireland after three memorable days.

It might seem as if a bike race with 189 cyclists (none of them Irish) might cause only minimal disruption and raise little interest in a country growing increasingly used to an influx of foreign visitors. But the Tour de France is both an engrossing sporting event and a spectacle of huge proportions.

The Tour is the largest annual sporting event in the world, with a global TV audience of around 950 million people. This year its start coincided with the climax of the soccer World Cup in Paris, and even the sports-mad French pondered the wisdom of hosting both events in the same country simultaneously. To give the race some added sparkle, and after persistent and persuasive campaigning from the Irish, the Tour started last week in Dublin. It was the biggest event to happen there since 1979, when the pope said Mass in Dublin's Phoenix Park for over a million people.

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