Chelsea Handler

NBC and Fox unveil trailers for new series

First looks at the American "Prime Suspect," Zooey Deschanel's sitcom, the new "Lost" knockoff -- and others

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NBC and Fox unveil trailers for new seriesA mix of old and new stars in Fall's TV lineup.

As networks gather in New York to unveil their hot 2011-2012 premieres, we get a sneak peak at all the new shows coming our way. Which ones will be the next “Arrested Development” or “Mad Men,” and which will be next season’s “The Cape?” We take a look at the trailers released by Fox and NBC over the past two days and try to make our most informed snap judgments.

From NBC:

1.”Up All Night”

With Will Arnett, Maya Rudolph, and Christina Applegate. It’s about babies, which all three of these actors have, so at least they are working with the source material. Here’s hoping it’s not another “Running Wilde” for Arnett.

2. “Bent”

We mentioned last week that this show starred Amanda Peet as a rich divorcee in love with her contractor. We forgot to mention “Arrested Development’s” Jeffrey Tambor costars though, so that might be an incentive. (He’s not the contractor.)

3. “Are You There Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea”

Starring Laura Prepon as a Chelsea Handler stand-in who works at a bar. And sounds exactly like Donna from “That Seventies’ Show” and nothing like Handler. But still props to NBC for making such a female-centric comedy lineup. Let’s just see if Prepon can pull it off.

 4. “Free Agents”

This American remake of a British comedy will hopefully make Hank Azaria recognizable to audiences as more than just the voice of Apu. Here he’s a PR consultant battling workplace drama and romance. Expect banter. 

 5. “Smash”

Pairs up Debra Messing with “American Idol” runner-up Katharine McPhee and the guys who did “Chicago.” And it’s a musical. SOLD!

 6. “The Playboy Club”

It’s like  “Mad Men,” but with more Playboy Bunnies. At least, that’s what NBC is going to try to sell you on.

7. “Awake”

Wins best show on its concept alone: a man wakes up from a car crash straddling two realities, each carrying its own set of personal tragedies. He solves crimes in both of them, but with different partners. In one world, his wife is dead, and in another, it’s his son. “Awake” sounds like “Sliding Doors” but with Lucius Malfoy from “Harry Potter” instead of Gwyneth Paltrow … and also amazing. Too bad it doesn’t premiere till mid-2012.

 8. “Grimm”

Reimagines classic fairy tales as supernatural criminal activity happening all around us.  So like “True Blood” meets “Law and Order?” Could be awesome, or it could be incredibly corny.

 8. “Whitney”

Finally gives gut-busting comedienne Whitney Cummings a showcase for her talents. Too bad the preview makes it look like she’s doing a one-woman show of “Perfect Couples.” Off-topic, but did they already cancel “Perfect Couples?”

10. “Prime Suspect”

Another quirky police drama starring Maria Bello. Is she a dog psychic? No? Snooze. However, Dame Helen Mirren originated this role in the British version, so Maria actually has some big shoes to fill despite the over-saturated market in police procedurals.

Meanwhile over at Fox, we have a whole bunch of new spooky mysteries to unravel (over the course of seven seasons, the network hopes).

1. “Alcatraz”

You’d think that “The Event’s” failure would have taught studios that we’re not ready for another “Lost” knockoff, but what about one that is produced by “Lost’s” J.J. Abrams and actually stars a former cast member? Jorge Garcia and Sam Neill team up to track down time-traveling prisoners who were able to dig their way through time and space with only a spoon and a picture of Rita Hayworth.

 2. “Terra Nova”

Deals with time travel as well, but this time a bunch of scientists are going back to fix civilization, like they made Bruce Willis do in “Twelve Monkeys.”

 3. “Finder”

A spin-off of “Bones” starring Geoff Stults as a guy who is basically House, except for locating stuff instead of figuring out rare diseases. (At this point, I feel like Fox creates characters with a giant Mad Libs game. “So he’s a ____ who is almost psychically good at deducing ____, which makes it hard for him to relate to ____.”)

 4. “New Girl”

Is for all you hipsters out there who were waiting for someone to give Zooey Deschanel a show already. Who cares what it’s about? Look at her glasses! She’s so fun … but you can tell, there’s a real depth to her too.

 5. “I Hate My Teenage Daughter”

Stars Jaime Pressly and Katie Finneran as moms who tell it like it really is. In other news, “S#*t My Dad Says” has been canceled. Parents rule! Take that, 18-25-year-old demographic!

6. “Napoleon Dynamite”

The cartoon cashing in on the film’s zeitgeist just in time.

7. “Allen Gregory”

Fox’s other new animated series, created and starring Jonah Hill. We have a little more hope for this one, but can Hill carry off a production all by himself?

So what do you think folks? Which one of these shows will sink, and which ones will become our new favorite thing to TiVo?

Drew Grant is a staff writer for Salon. Follow her on Twitter at @videodrew.

NBC picks up four new comedies, loses “Outsourced”

Laura Prepon is Chelsea Handler (kind of), Amanda Peet's in love with the help, and the return of Buffy's Giles

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NBC picks up four new comedies, loses Laura Prepon, Hank Azaria, and Amanda Peet are the new faces of NBC comedy.

It’s been a good week for “That 70′s Show” alumni. First Ashton Kutcher got himself the world’s sweetest gig taking over for Charlie Sheen on “Two and a Half Men,” and now Laura Prepon (Donna) has just snagged the lead in one of NBC’s four new comedies.

“Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea” has been adapted from Chelsea Handler’s memoir into a scripted sitcom starring Prepon as Handler. So was Elizabeth Banks not available, or is there just a rule against appearing on too many NBC sitcoms in one year? Because as much as I loved her as Donna, I’m not sure Prepon can pull off Chelsea’s wackiness.

Meanwhile, three other shows have been picked for the peacock’s lineup, including “Free Agents,” an American remake of a British comedy about the romantic lives of P.R. executives. Exciting! Hank Azaria and Kathryn Hahn star in the Americanized version along with Anthony Head (Giles from “Buffy”), who will be reprising his role from the original series.

Then there is “BFFs,” which I refuse to discuss until it starts spelling itself correctly. You’re a TV show, not a text message. Get it together, iCarly.

“Bent” is a divorced Amanda Peet falling for her contractor, David Walton. What’s keeping them apart? She’s rich and he’s a surfer. I’m giving it two episodes before that gets tired.

Out of all these shows, I have the most hope for “Free Agents,” which NBC is clearly hoping will have the same cross-pond success as “The Office.” Azaria hasn’t been given a lead for a long time, and has been wasted in countless movies as the douchey boyfriend of the female love interest.

I’ve saved the best news for last: “Outsourced” has been canceled! Thank the lord. So has “The Event,” proving that, no, America wasn’t really dying for a show that combined “Lost,” “24″ and aliens.

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Drew Grant is a staff writer for Salon. Follow her on Twitter at @videodrew.

Justin Bieber talks “Lesbians who look like Justin Bieber”

Chelsea Handler quizzes America's favorite tiny dancer about the Internet memes that have sprouted around his fame

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Justin Bieber talks That is Justin Bieber, not a lesbian.

Justin Bieber appeared on “Chelsea Lately” Monday night to talk about his recent Grammy loss, being friends with all of Will Smith’s kids (except the one from “Just the Two of Us”… where did that guy go?), and getting hugged by Lady Gaga in her meat dress. Also? He knows there’s a site out there dedicated to lesbians who have his haircut.

(Video starts at 3:30 mark.)

Said Justin about the site: “It’s funny.”

If you haven’t seen it yet, Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber  is a pretty self-explanatory blog, though in all fairness it isn’t just women who love women that end up looking like the Biebs. I, for instance, also have Justin Bieber hair. And as we found out last night, so does everyone on “Glee.”

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Drew Grant is a staff writer for Salon. Follow her on Twitter at @videodrew.

The unfunny business of Chelsea Handler

She's arguably the most successful woman in comedy. Why don't I feel good about that?

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The unfunny business of Chelsea HandlerCENTURY CITY, CA - JUNE 12: TV Personality Chelsea Handler arrives at the Women In Film 2009 Crystal And Lucy Awards at the Hyatt Regency Century Plaza Hotel on June 12, 2009 in Century City, California. (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Chelsea Handler(Credit: Frazer Harrison)

This week, Nicholas Sparks has two books on the New York Times bestseller list. Chelsea Handler has three. But that’s not where the 35-year-old comic’s world domination ends. Like David Letterman, Handler’s got a hit late-night talk show, and, like Lady Gaga, she’s gearing up for a massive multi-city tour. And in comedy, a field as rife with sexism as it is with fart jokes, she’s proven that women can rise through the ranks. Why, then, is it so hard to feel good about her?

Of course, plenty of people feel just fine about the Garden State native. Her ribald tales of drunken escapades, wacky family and shame-free shags have won her a devoted legion of both male and female acolytes, drawn to her frank, bawdy style. As she laps up glowing reviews for her “hilarious” memoirs — like the recently released “Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang” — she fills a niche no other female entertainer seems able to occupy. Handler’s not a good girl, like Tina Fey. She’s not a self-deprecating D-lister like Kathy Griffin. She’s not a weirdo like Sarah Silverman. In many regards she’s a dream come true — the girl who puts out, and then laughs about it.

I speak on behalf of slutty, Belvedere-imbibing women from New Jersey when I say: I want to like Handler. But every time I hear how outraaageous she is, I wonder what I’m missing. This is a woman who delicately refers to the female anatomy as a “Pikachu” and defecation as “shadoobie,” so excuse me if I’m not seeing the transgressiveness. On her talk show, “Chelsea Lately,” she never seems like a loose cannon, ready to do something crazy at any moment. Instead, she’s as stiff and rote as any other late-night host. She just gets bleeped more often. It also doesn’t help her badass rep that she spent four years dating Ted Harbert, who, in addition to being filthy rich and 20 years her senior, is also the president and CEO of Comcast — which owns “Chelsea Lately.” The heart wants what it wants and all that, but therein lies the paradox that is Chelsea Handler: She’s built a career on being the crazy chick with a taste for vodka and hookups, but what could be more conventional than a pretty girl dating the boss? 

No one would blame a lady for being good-looking, or using that to her career advantage. I don’t care that she dares to appear bikini-clad on the covers of Shape and Playboy. So what if those are comedy dues that Louis CK, Zach Galifianakis, Artie Lange and Patton Oswald didn’t exactly pay? The problem with Handler is that she rests far too heavily on her supposed naughtiness. And like the wild friend who brags so much she makes a threesome sound tedious, Handler’s bad-girl-in-a-bikini persona can feel calculated to the point of mechanical. It doesn’t help when the bad girl herself took swift umbrage after Jay Mohr claimed he saw her drunk

Handler could be forgiven, however, for not being the shambling, sex-crazy wreck she purports to be: We’ve got Courtney Love and Lindsay Lohan to pick up that slack. Her real crime is that for someone in the comedy business, her act just isn’t that funny — full of bits about “tooting” and, surprise, being wasted.  And as lame as she is with her written material, she’s a deer in the headlights trying to be funny off the cuff. Most unforgivably of all, her tweets are really boring.

The sad truth is that, outside of her “I love to drink! Look at my ass!” comfort zone, Handler has remarkably little to say. But, hey, if college taught us anything, it’s that a girl can go far on “I love to drink! Look at my ass!” Like, say, the New York Times bestseller list. Hey, Chelsea Handler is pretty and she seems nice enough and, wow, she’s daring enough to opine that Jon Gosselin is “disgusting.” She’ll be around forever and bury us all. In that sense, I suppose, Handler is a groundbreaker. Like Dane Cook or Jeff Dunham of any number of high-profile, low-wit stars, she’s proven that a woman in comedy can be just as lame as any man.

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Mary Elizabeth Williams

Mary Elizabeth Williams is a staff writer for Salon and the author of "Gimme Shelter: My Three Years Searching for the American Dream." Follow her on Twitter: @embeedub.

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