One is that if your whole damn country hadn't been a failed state for 20 years or so, you might not have idiots from France like producer/co-writer Luc Besson and director Olivier Megaton -- yeah, that's a put-on last name -- using it as a cheap pretext for a trashy and ridiculous blend of "La Femme Nikita," "Scarface" and "Fast Five." Another is that the beautiful and diverse sovereign nation of Colombia has bigger problems than a film that's built around repeated scenes of Zoe Saldana taking off her clothes and then putting them on again, although it's possible that some Colombians won't mind the distraction. A third is that the lack of realism and sensitivity in depicting Latin American life is way down the list of things wrong with "Colombiana," a movie so addicted to the crack pipe of delirious cinematic badness that it has real potential as a camp classic. For the first two-thirds of the picture, the crowd at the New York press screening I attended simply suffered in silence; by the end, we were roaring with delight.

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