I write seeking advice as the newly pregnant daughter of a chronically indebted, bipolar (and most likely borderline), recovered-alcoholic mother. The most recent incident that spurred this letter occurred when I took the day off to attend to my mother during an outpatient surgery and she did not have the $10 necessary for her pain medication co-pay. This came on the heels of the holidays when I had told her the best Christmas present she could give me was the knowledge that she had ability to pay her bills in January. Instead, I got several department-store gifts that were presumably bought on a credit card. 

I declined to pay the co-pay and received holy hell in the form of manipulation, anger, promises, anger, threats, etc. My brother later gave in, as we were worried about her pain. 

My mother makes over $80,000 a year in the mental health field. From the bills lying around on her desk (I looked and invaded her privacy) it appears that she is now in debt again to the only folks that will issue her a card, department stores, and to several bill-me-later and payday-loan places. I am an artist, live paycheck to paycheck, and make a fraction of her income. I do live within my means, and recognize that I have a lot of anxiety around money due to my experiences with my mother. I am attempting to become more financially literate and not fulfill the starving-artist stereotype.

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