Salon.com > Dexter http://www.salon.com Sun, 27 May 2012 13:20:45 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 “Dexter” goes too far http://www.salon.com/2011/12/19/dexter_goes_too_far/ http://www.salon.com/2011/12/19/dexter_goes_too_far/#comments Mon, 19 Dec 2011 10:49:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=10635071 In a way, this was the ultimate in “Dexter” season finales, and I’ll stay sequential as to the reasons why. Throughout the episode, I kept thinking, “The luck of the Deb.” Seriously, it should be a phrase you use when everything goes to hell. Unfortunately, this sense of big-hearted sadness curdled, and the show turned ugly on Debra Morgan (Jennifer Carpenter).

But first, the show charmed fecklessly as it opened with a time-filler montage of the season’s more memorable bits.

We enjoyed a brisk summation of the entire God talk thing -- a nun asks Dex (Michael C. Hall) what he believes and our main man says “nothing,” followed by a close-up of the bloated dead guy in “Those Kind of Things” with his belly full of wiggling CG snakes and Deb yelling “Holy Franken-fuck, snakes!” (The perfect Christmas ringtone gift, if you ask me.) Then the “Get Gellar” “Carrie” homage with guts pouring on most of the Miami police department. Who could forget “The Angel of Death’s” angel-wing, girl-throat-slicer machine? Good times. And finally, last week’s live-action slashfic moment: the lead-in to Deb’s lust for her brother.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2011/12/19/dexter_goes_too_far/feed/ 72 Dexter’s incest tease http://www.salon.com/2011/12/12/dexters_incest_tease/ http://www.salon.com/2011/12/12/dexters_incest_tease/#comments Mon, 12 Dec 2011 18:00:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=10314911 Seriously, Showtime: Dexter-Debra incest? That’s what you’re banking on as you approach the season-six finale? Isn’t that why God created slashfic? What’s next? Ghost-y tussles between Dexter and Harry? Deb and Laguerta? The mind reels.

This week’s Dexter is all bent out of shape, peaking at the 20-minute mark, then limping along as it betrays sundry atrocities, anti-revelations and proof that Captain Laguerta (Lauren Vélez) is the Latina Cruella de Vil of the Miami police department.

After a recap in which Debra (Jennifer Carpenter) says that Dex (Michael C. Hall) is her one safe place -- oh, great -- the Miami police find the body of Travis’ latest murdered girl, along with the corpse of Doomsday_Adam (Kyle Davis), the one-time Travis fanboy, who was actually stabbed by Dexter.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2011/12/12/dexters_incest_tease/feed/ 19 “Dexter’s” most terrifying moment yet http://www.salon.com/2011/12/05/dexters_most_terrifying_moment_yet/ http://www.salon.com/2011/12/05/dexters_most_terrifying_moment_yet/#comments Mon, 05 Dec 2011 12:45:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=10292070 “Ricochet Rabbit” is a flat-out superior "Dexter" episode that multitasks as an critique of an entire season’s worth of mistakes, missteps and misconceptions. Directed by Michael Lehmann ("Heathers," better "True Bloods") with wit, pacing and a deep feel for inner Big Bads, it’s "Dexter" pared to primal basics.

It starts with Dex (Michael C. Hall) trapped in The Doomsday Killer’s decommissioned church/HQ basement. The body of Professor Gellar (Edward James Olmos) lays frozen in a fridge. Through broken colored windows Dex can see Travis (Colin Hanks), aka The Doomsday Killer, babbling to himself.

What we see is Travis, enraged at his one-time teacher — guilty of nothing more evil than sleeping with hot TAs -- for not becoming a serial killing lunatic like himself. Gellar remembers things differently. “You killed me, Travis… then you stuck me in a freezer.” Oh, Edward James, how you can deliver a ripe line.

While Travis and his figment argue, Dexter’s ghost Dad Harry (James Remar) shows up to offer running commentary. It’s pretty droll, funny stuff introducing a major theme: maybe Dexter really was made, not born this bad. Accordingly, Hall’s performance is shaded in ugly shades of understandable wrath.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2011/12/05/dexters_most_terrifying_moment_yet/feed/ 15 Dexter’s implausible reveal http://www.salon.com/2011/11/28/dexters_implausible_reveal/ http://www.salon.com/2011/11/28/dexters_implausible_reveal/#comments Mon, 28 Nov 2011 12:19:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=10268716 Typical, right? In a season defined by lowered expectations, the half-season-long tease regarding The Doomsday Killer’s true identity does not end with flair or fun.

No “She's my sister and my daughter!” or a “Soylent Green is people!” here. Instead of a crescendo of blood-freezing creepiness or even some honest kitsch showmanship, we get a couple shots of the real Professor Gellar frozen like an academic popsicle, and thank you, loyal "Dexter" viewers!

So yes, it’s been meek, mild, incest-crazed Travis all along. And forget the utter physical impossibility of his crimes; this is "Dexter," dude, where logic and geographic implausibility have disappeared like First Amendment rights at an Occupy Wall Street march.

It’s also a show that’s split into three totally discrete organisms.

There’s the mordant black comedy about an increasingly unlikely/unlikeable yet awesome Dad and spiritual serial killer (Michael C. Hall). And there’s another "Dexter," a lowbrow comedy which skirts the line of racial and gender stereotyping.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2011/11/28/dexters_implausible_reveal/feed/ 37 Why Jennifer Carpenter is the best thing about “Dexter” http://www.salon.com/2011/11/21/why_jennifer_carpenter_is_the_best_thing_about_dexter/ http://www.salon.com/2011/11/21/why_jennifer_carpenter_is_the_best_thing_about_dexter/#comments Mon, 21 Nov 2011 12:30:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=10243052 In better "Dexter" days, this water-cooler mystery regarding this season’s Big Bad, ‘The Doomsday Killer,” could have been fun. We'd debate whether "he" is the joint project of milquetoast incest creep Travis (Colin Hanks) and mad theology professor Gellar (Edward James Olmos). Or is Travis actually committing his art-installation murders solo, with Gellar an evil alter ego.

But with Gellar filmed as he was in tonight’s episode, like a character actually in a scene, or when he seemed to commit a murder that Travis could not have done on his own -- not believably anyway -- I started to wonder whether there are rules here, or whether the writers are  just making things up on the fly?

Only time will tell. As for this episode, well, it’s occasionally quite good, and as anyone who’s visited this space knows, “quite good” and “Dexter” are an equation that usually ends with “Debra Morgan” (Jennifer Carpenter).

The episode was explicitly Deb-centric, with the “Sins of Omission” referenced in the episode's title committed by her brother Dex.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2011/11/21/why_jennifer_carpenter_is_the_best_thing_about_dexter/feed/ 16 Dexter heads over the edge http://www.salon.com/2011/11/14/dexter_heads_over_the_edge/ http://www.salon.com/2011/11/14/dexter_heads_over_the_edge/#comments Mon, 14 Nov 2011 12:32:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=10215553 Something extraordinary happened on "Dexter" this week. As Dexter split into two personas as he struggled to hang on to his remaining humanity, a show that’s been MIA suddenly reported ready for duty.

It’s as if the death of Brother Sam (Mos Def) last week performed a ritual cleansing of all that was wrong with "Dexter's" sixth season. Gone is the ceaseless God talk, the ill-advised forays into slapstick comedy — serial-killer slapstick golf, really? — and even a super-tardy entry into the Manic Pixie Dream Girl sweepstakes.

Brother Sam’s murder also quashed any hope that Dexter (Michael C. Hall) had in redemption, as it led to the rebirth of the ghost of Dexter's brother Brian (Christian Camargo), a killer who Dexter himself killed in the show’s first season. Brian is here to remind Dex of some core principles, such as “You don’t turn the other cheek — you slice it.”

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2011/11/14/dexter_heads_over_the_edge/feed/ 20 Dexter gives in to his dark side http://www.salon.com/2011/11/07/dexter_gives_in_to_his_dark_side/ http://www.salon.com/2011/11/07/dexter_gives_in_to_his_dark_side/#comments Mon, 07 Nov 2011 13:00:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=10171504 As this week’s "Dexter" begins, Edward James Olmos’ Rapture-ready girl-killer rifles through an open-air market until he finds just the right material for his exciting “Whore of Babylon” project. “I think this will be sufficiently tawdry for our purposes,” he muses. Problem is, nothing in "Dexter" is sufficiently tawdry enough.

Even when a possible lead is identified by her occult butt-cleavage tattoos and then accused of “laying naked in the middle of campus with a dead sheep on your head,” "Dexter" stubbornly clings to a fig leaf of classiness, even when it’s obvious that kitsch is the only fun left in town.

So what we have this week is an episode stripped of theological jabber that still only serves to reveal structural problems shared by classier shows like "Treme." And there’s the simple probability that "Dexter" — a show that’s always owned a sort of post-9-11, liberal "Death Wish" vibe — has simply reached its sell-by date. Aptly titled “Just Let Go,” this episode finds everyone at a crossroads.

Shot last week in his auto shop, Brother Sam (Mos Def) is in the hospital and barely hanging on. Dex (Michael C. Hall) wants to carpe diem the hell out of the situation and kill someone, anyone, and give his Dark Passenger a sweet ride through VengeanceVille.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2011/11/07/dexter_gives_in_to_his_dark_side/feed/ 19 “Dexter” makes it way too easy http://www.salon.com/2011/10/31/dexter_makes_it_way_too_easy/ http://www.salon.com/2011/10/31/dexter_makes_it_way_too_easy/#comments Mon, 31 Oct 2011 11:41:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=10159650 First, the bright side. Long-suffering Season 6 viewers were spared the nonstop God talk and general religiosity on "Dexter" last night.  Director S.J. Clarkson brought a sinuous sense of purposeful movement, mood and narrative flow. My anxieties regarding Dexter’s sister Deb (Jennifer Carpenter) being downgraded to a typical flavor of cop-show vanilla proved unfounded. She’s back, cursing up a storm and even allowed a full-blown monologue on how it blows to be a lone square peg in a department of paperwork, careerists and creeps.

But style and spunk aside, this was an episode in which someone in need of a clue happened upon it by picking up one book in a room full of hundreds. Where a bad guy’s identity is discovered courtesy of a quick stroll into a big museum. Where another clue is discovered on first try from selecting one manuscript out of thousands. And so on.

So multiple deus ex machina aside, what’s up? Miami P.D. has dubbed creepy Travis (Colin Hanks) and Doctor Gellar (Edward James Olmos) one "Doomsday Killer."

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2011/10/31/dexter_makes_it_way_too_easy/feed/ 8 “Dexter’s” God problem returns http://www.salon.com/2011/10/24/dexters_god_problem_returns/ http://www.salon.com/2011/10/24/dexters_god_problem_returns/#comments Mon, 24 Oct 2011 12:04:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=10141308 Just last season America’s most beloved sociopathic killer was learning to suffer grief over his wife’s murder when he hooked up with Lumen (Julia Stiles), an everyday person gone temporarily mad with post-rape rage. It was an unstable bond on both sides -- except Lumen found a way to return to her life after hunting down her attackers.

For Dex, her exit revealed that the core truth of his “Dark Passenger” was its absolute, terrible loneliness. "Don't be sorry your darkness is gone,” he promised Lumen in absentia. “I'll carry it for you always. I'll keep it with mine."

This was "Dexter" as heartbreaking high pulp art. It was monstrosity with tears. It’s that show that I keep trying to find.

And it’s because of last week’s terrific episode, cleansed of the ceaseless God talk and theological hoo-haw that’s so far ruined this season, that I approached “A Horse of a Different Color” with refreshed glee: The "Dexter" I loved was back. Wrong.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2011/10/24/dexters_god_problem_returns/feed/ 11 “Dexter” gets its mojo back http://www.salon.com/2011/10/16/dexter_gets_its_mojo_back/ http://www.salon.com/2011/10/16/dexter_gets_its_mojo_back/#comments Sun, 16 Oct 2011 23:57:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=10120937 Good news from Miami: "Dexter" is finally behaving like "Dexter" again.

The ceaseless theological table setting is done, gone. The characters are acting as if they remember who they’ve been for five seasons, or taking steps in other directions that connect with their history. Yes, we still have to endure the irritating presence of Ryan (Brea Grant), a squinty Manic Pixie who stops the show dead in its tracks in every scene that she blights. And yes, the show hasn’t quite found a unifying tone to reconcile its wildly contrasting elements — Jesus freak Grand Guignol, salsa soundtrack cues, class redemption stories, pre-mid-life anxiety attacks, telenovela-like melodramatics -- but now I want to trust that all of it will be smoothed over. With its third episode this season, "Smokey and the Bandit", the show has reclaimed some of its Gothic texture, with a literally darker image, while cordoning the ill-advised "zany" humor to a single bit of golfing goofiness (don’t ask). And our favorite mordantly detached observer of human foibles is back, if not at full force, at least in three-quarter sail.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2011/10/16/dexter_gets_its_mojo_back/feed/ 23 Welcome to “God Talk,” starring Dexter http://www.salon.com/2011/10/10/welcome_to_god_talk_starring_dexter/ http://www.salon.com/2011/10/10/welcome_to_god_talk_starring_dexter/#comments Mon, 10 Oct 2011 03:28:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=10106223 Last week's season premiere established that "Dexter" is now about the spiritual journey of everyone’s favorite snarky sociopathic mass murderer Dexter (Michael C. Hall), and the religious legacy he'll bequeath to his preschool-age son, Harrison. If you don't like that, you're just going to have to suck it up, and get used to a new, bright-eyed and chatty sort of "Dexter," a show in which people talk about religion at least three times per episode—hey, it’s an election year—and plot points appear with agonizing slowness.

But at least this episode was better the the sixth season premiere, thanks mainly to the focus on Dexter’s sister Deb, the show’s MVP, played by professional exposed nerve Jennifer Carpenter. Just as Ryan Cartwright’s rhythmically fascinating autistic teen on SyFy’s great "Alphas" jet-packs lagging episodes, Deb is a character that "Dexter’s" writers can cut to any time and suddenly have a terrific show that’ll glue asses to couches and keep 'em there.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2011/10/10/welcome_to_god_talk_starring_dexter/feed/ 18 Why, “Dexter,” why? http://www.salon.com/2011/10/03/dexter_season_6_episode_1_those_kinds_of_things/ http://www.salon.com/2011/10/03/dexter_season_6_episode_1_those_kinds_of_things/#comments Mon, 03 Oct 2011 08:04:00 +0000 [This is the first installment in a series of recaps of "Dexter," Season 6. It contains spoilers for tonight's episode and presumes at least some past familiarity with earlier seasons. Read at your own risk.]

As far as I'm concerned, Showtime's "Dexter" (Sundays 9 p.m./8 Central) doesn’t derive its core tension from its season-long "A" plot, be it season four's "Spy vs. Spy" duel between Dexter and John Lithgow’s family man/slayer or last season’s oddly endearing, empathetic tale of a vengeance-obsessed rape victim played by Julia Stiles. What makes "Dexter" get thumbscrews-tense is the constant nagging dread of what will happen if -- no, when -- sister Deb (Jennifer Carpenter) learns what sort of person Dexter really is. The idea of a clever and empathic serial killer looking for self-improvement is nonsense, but we buy into it because the show and its eponymous antihero run on consistent fantasy rules. The rules dictate that much as murder is Dex's Dark Passenger, Deb is his Light Passenger, his connection to everything good in him. Were Deb to find out the truth and inevitably reject Dex, he'd be over, uselessly mad -- the balance between Dark Passenger and mordant narrator shot to hell. The show's brilliance lies in its ability to balance all else on this single knife-edge.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2011/10/03/dexter_season_6_episode_1_those_kinds_of_things/feed/ 24 Emmy nominations: Who got snubbed? http://www.salon.com/2010/07/08/emmy_noms_nominations_announced_2010/ http://www.salon.com/2010/07/08/emmy_noms_nominations_announced_2010/#comments Thu, 08 Jul 2010 15:30:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/entertainment/tv/2010/07/08/emmy_noms_nominations_announced_2010 Joel McHale and Sofia Vergara aren't a bad way to wake up at 5:30, what with the boobs and the height and the funny, but it'd be nice if a distinctly West Coast medium like television could have the decency to operate on a more humane West Coast time. Please.

That said, I was pleasantly surprised a few times with the 2010 Emmy nominations, and was, per usual, irritated just as often. Tony Shalhoub, again, for real? (eye roll) "Two and a Half Men" taking up valuable space in any category? (bigger eye roll) And why Aaron Paul of "Breaking Bad" didn't submit his reel in the lead actor category is confounding and shameful -- Bryan Cranston is, arguably, the star of that show but this was Paul's year. His performance as the now-sober meth cooker Jesse Pinkman was, in a word, eviscerating.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2010/07/08/emmy_noms_nominations_announced_2010/feed/ 32 “Breaking Bad,” “The Sopranos” and the fall of the Dark Cable Drama http://www.salon.com/2010/03/20/breaking_bad_and_the_fall_of_the_very_dark_cable_drama/ http://www.salon.com/2010/03/20/breaking_bad_and_the_fall_of_the_very_dark_cable_drama/#comments Sat, 20 Mar 2010 23:01:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/entertainment/tv/heather_havrilesky/2010/03/20/breaking_bad_and_the_fall_of_the_very_dark_cable_drama [Spoiler Alert! This article contains spoilers for the 4th season of "Dexter" and the 2nd season of "Sons of Anarchy." Do not read this if you're planning to watch those shows.]

During these dark times, do you prefer TV that plumbs the impoverishment of modern culture for comic relief ("30 Rock") or twists it into a horrific narrative in which every character is doomed to suffer until the final curtain call ("Breaking Bad")? Do you enjoy your gloom and nastiness softened by sly humor and nostalgia ("Mad Men"), or splattered with several gallons of fake blood ("Dexter")? Would you rather watch heartless lady lawyers trying to hurt each other with a subtle game of disconcerting gestures and veiled insults ("Damages"), or witness biker gangs plotting to blow each other's heads off as soon as possible ("Sons of Anarchy")?

Personally, as much as I once craved a dark tragidramedy back when every channel was filthy with hugging and learning, these days I find myself repelled by the unrelenting nihilism of a handful of the darker-than-thou cable shows: "Dexter," "Sons of Anarchy," "Breaking Bad," all well-written, imaginative dramas with wonderful casts that nonetheless present us with the same scenario, week after week: Things go from bad to worse to unthinkable, lead characters flinch and cringe and sweat and sigh deeply and then dig themselves in deeper, and everyone around them suffers.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2010/03/20/breaking_bad_and_the_fall_of_the_very_dark_cable_drama/feed/ 45 “Dexter” finally goes too far http://www.salon.com/2009/12/14/dexter_finale/ http://www.salon.com/2009/12/14/dexter_finale/#comments Mon, 14 Dec 2009 20:15:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/entertainment/tv/i_like_to_watch//2009/12/14/dexter_finale I don't think I've ever seen an episode of any show that depressed me more than the "Dexter" finale did Sunday night.

Yes, it's a show about a serial killer. Yes, I'm sure that plenty of people watched that finale, said to themselves, "Ha! What an awesome twist!" and then tucked themselves into bed and fell soundly to sleep. But I feel like I just got slammed in the head by a two-by-four.

I figured that the fourth season would end with Dexter Morgan avenging the Trinity Killer, then flying off to meet his wife, Rita, for a long-delayed honeymoon. After all, Dexter had married Rita in a relatively upbeat Season 3 finale, right?

Wrong. On Sunday night, Dexter did finish off Trinity Killer Arthur Mitchell, but when he came home to grab his bags for his flight to the Florida Keys, he retrieved a message from Rita on his phone, saying she forgot something at home. Panicked, he dialed her number, but her phone rang a few feet away. 

Suddenly we hear a baby crying. Dexter runs to the bathroom. There's his baby boy, Harrison, sitting in a giant pool of blood. And there's Rita in the bathtub, dead. The Trinity Killer's last victim. 

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2009/12/14/dexter_finale/feed/ 232 So your marriage is like an inflamed bunion http://www.salon.com/2009/10/18/the_good_wife_dexter/ http://www.salon.com/2009/10/18/the_good_wife_dexter/#comments Sun, 18 Oct 2009 07:16:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/entertainment/tv/i_like_to_watch//2009/10/18/the_good_wife_dexter Marriage is like an inflamed bunion. It requires a lot of care and attention, but all it does is make you itch and wince in return. You can never get away from it, but you can't touch it as often as you want to, either. You're not supposed to ignore it, but if you look too closely at it, it'll only make you nervous.

The pain and the inflammation might be uncomfortable, but that's what tells you it's healing! Either that, or a deadly infection is coursing throughout your entire body, poised and ready to kill you.

Quiet as a spouse
Being a good spouse isn't easy. We're supposed to be honest at all times, except when it's more prudent to lie. We're supposed to communicate openly, except when it's better to bite our tongues. We're supposed to be supportive and affectionate, except when our honey pie is vaguely repulsed by the sight of us and needs a little breathing room. We're supposed to be utterly committed to our sugar dumpling's happiness, except when that happiness requires half a bottle of Jack Daniels, an eight ball of fine Colombian, and a one-way ticket to Monte Carlo.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2009/10/18/the_good_wife_dexter/feed/ 46 Finale wrap-up: “Dexter” http://www.salon.com/2008/12/15/dexter/ http://www.salon.com/2008/12/15/dexter/#comments Mon, 15 Dec 2008 20:18:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/entertainment/tv/review/2008/12/15/dexter Is Dexter Morgan an ordinary man or a murderous beast? As the third dark but capricious season of "Dexter" came to a close on Sunday night, loyal viewers were forced to ask themselves that question once again, but it was tough not to see Dexter (Michael C. Hall) in an unusually human light. After all, the man has taken small, somewhat reluctant baby steps towards becoming a real human being this season, from marrying his longtime love Rita (Julie Benz) to becoming a father to making his first real friend, assistant defense attorney Miguel Prado (Jimmy Smits).

 True, Dexter's new wife hardly knows anything about her husband's rich and disturbing shadow life. But then, the same could probably be said for lots of wives. Yes, Dexter has conflicted feelings about bringing life into the world, as an active purveyor of death. But don't all first-time parents suffer from mixed feelings? And sure, Dexter did end up killing his best friend, Miguel. But what could he do, really? They grew apart.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2008/12/15/dexter/feed/ 23 I Like to Watch http://www.salon.com/2007/12/23/holiday_2/ http://www.salon.com/2007/12/23/holiday_2/#comments Sun, 23 Dec 2007 12:00:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/entertainment/tv/i_like_to_watch//2007/12/23/holiday Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah and Happy New Year, inflatable geniuses! 'Tis the season to festoon our residences with several miles of blinking lights and then blow up seven to 10 giant Christmas characters for our front yards, festive polar bears and jolly snowmen, most of which light up and swivel and hiss, because big, tacky overzealous displays of Christmas cheer aren't just for lunatics anymore! 'Tis the season to deck the halls with photos of awkward, smiling families in their cutest Christmas-themed Cosby sweaters! 'Tis the season to roll out our most exaggerated, hideous impressions of all of our relatives, with their weird verbal tics and their lazy eyes and their fishy breath and their mercilessly long anecdotes! 'Tis the season to engage in interpretive readings of the latest "Dear Friends and Family" letter to arrive in the mail, heartlessly mocking every sweet little detail about Madison's first steps and Henry's latest display of adorably bratty remarks and uncanny athletic prowess, already demonstrating that he'll grow up to be just as much of a bloviating, self-satisfied crotch tugger as his daddy.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2007/12/23/holiday_2/feed/ 23 I Like to Watch http://www.salon.com/2007/09/30/brotherhood/ http://www.salon.com/2007/09/30/brotherhood/#comments Sun, 30 Sep 2007 13:00:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/entertainment/tv/i_like_to_watch//2007/09/30/brotherhood Sally Field is right that mothers really should rule the world. Mothers, as we all know, feel more empathy than other human beings. We love more completely. We're overflowing with compassion and understanding.

But that's not all. Since I became a mother, food tastes better. I can smell the faintest whiff of fresh lime, squeezed into a glass, from across a crowded room. I can hear a pin drop in the house across the street. I can see new colors I never saw before. Lost kittens show up at my doorstep with stunning regularity, because they know how deeply in tune with the universe and all of its creatures I am. They look at me with their big, wet eyes and meow, and I feel a deep sadness, deeper than the deepest ocean! If mothers ruled the world, there wouldn't be any goddamned lost kittens in the first place.

But there would be lots and lots of houses filled with cats and cat hair and cat toys and enormous carpeted cat trees, and we'd get tax breaks for doggie daycare costs, and we'd be at war with Mex-EE-coh and Moor-EH-tain-ee-a and KEYR-geez-stan right now, because those countries treat their kitties and doggies like total shit.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2007/09/30/brotherhood/feed/ 21 So many dramas, too little DVR space http://www.salon.com/2006/08/21/drama_chart_4/ http://www.salon.com/2006/08/21/drama_chart_4/#comments Mon, 21 Aug 2006 12:00:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/entertainment/tv/feature/2006/08/21/drama_chart

SHOW STARS PREMISE SEE ALSO WHY WATCH WHY SKIP IT
ABC's "Daybreak" Taye Diggs Our hero is framed for murder, has to repeat the same day over and over until he can figure out how to clear his name. Lost in time! "Groundhog Day" meets "The Fugitive." Diggs has a nice torso. Repetitive. Only Bill Murray can make us want to repeat the same day again and again.
CW's "Runaway" Donnie Wahlberg, Leslie Hope Our hero is framed for murder, has to take his family and run from the law until he can figure out how to clear his name. Lost in America! "One Tree Hill" meets "The Fugitive." Donnie Wahlberg's brother Mark used to have a nice torso. Running from the law is exhausting. Plus, if they keep skipping towns, how will the teenagers ever fall in love or join the cheerleading squad?
Fox's "Vanished" Gale Harold, Ming-Na, John Allen Nelson, Rebecca Gayheart The wife of a politician is kidnapped, and a devil-may-care FBI agent is determined to get her back. Lost my wife! Conspiracies abound, plus lots of twists and tricks pump up the suspense. Between a possibly shady politician and a possibly cheating wife, it's tough to care about anyone here.
NBC's "Kidnapped" Jeremy Sisto, Dana Delany, Timothy Hutton The son of a rich man is kidnapped, and a professional renegade is hired to get him back. Lost my kid! A professional renegade is always fun, particularly when it's Billy from "Six Feet Under." How many crime-based serial dramas are we supposed to watch this season, anyway?
ABC's
"The Nine"		 Scott Wolf, Kim Raver, Tim Daly Hostages of a bank robbery are bonded by their shared experience. Lost in post-traumatic stress syndrome! We're left uncertain what happened during the robbery, want to find out. Also, this premise might just hold our attention. "Lost" does the flashback-based drama proud. Can anyone else really compare?
CBS's "Smith" Ray Liotta, Virginia Madsen, Amy Smart, Shoreh Aghdashloo A gaggle of criminal masterminds collaborate on sophisticated heists. Will they pull off the big score? Like AMC's "Hustle," except you can understand what people are saying. More heisty criminal masterminds in action? Really?
NBC'S "Heroes" Milo Ventimiglia, Leonard Roberts Assorted freaks discover their true calling as superheroes. It's not easy to be-hee meeee! If you love "The X-Men" you might like it. Melodramatic. If you think "The X-Men" is overrated, you'll hate it.
Fox's "Justice" Victor Garber, Kerr Smith Law office takes on high-profile, media-heavy court cases. Bruckheimer takes on the law! All of the dizzying camera work and flashy effects of "CSI" focused on splashy, O.J.-like cases. If you love "CSI" you'll like it. Too fast-paced and melodramatic; tons of pointless CGI tricks. If you hate "CSI" you'll hate it.
ABC's "Six Degrees" Erika Christensen, Bridget Moynahan, Dorian Missick Six strangers, linked by fate, picked to... do something, we're not sure what. Will we find out which one of them was in a film with Kevin Bacon soon? Unique premise, but how will they keep things interesting? A character-driven drama in which the characters aren't all that compelling.
NBC's "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" Matthew Perry, Bradley Whitford, Amanda Peet, Steven Weber Aaron Sorkin revisits "Sports Night," except this time it's about a comedy show and there's a bigger cast. "The West Wing" of West Hollywood! If you love Sorkin, you'll love this show; Perry and Whitford are great at pulling off Sorkin's dialogue. Same old walking-and-talking routine. A few of the actors are not so great at making Sorkin's dialogue believable.
CBS's "Jericho" Skeet Ulrich, Gerald McRaney, Pamela Reed America is attacked by nuclear bombs, and the people of Jericho, Kansas, have to work together to stay alive. Lost in Kansas! Nuclear bombs in the distance! Eerie last calls from dead parents in the big city! Bonus: The mayor is Hearst from "Deadwood"! What's not to love? It's like watching those scenes on "24" where everyone starts panicking, but with a little "Everwood" thrown in.
ABC's "Men in Trees" Anne Heche, John Amos A relationship advice expert's life and livelihood fall apart when she discovers her fiancé is cheating, so she decides to move to Alaska. Sex in... a very small town in Alaska! "Northern Exposure" meets "Sex and the City." Charming, quirky, sweet little storylines by SATC writer Jenny Bicks. Can Anne Heche really compete with John Corbett as the small-town Alaska radio personality?
CBS's "Shark" James Woods, Jeri Ryan Sleazy, high-priced defense attorney gets a conscience, takes a job prosecuting crimes in the district attorney's office. Idealistic yet brutal lawyer learns important life lessons! Replacing the usual sanctimonious lawyers with a ruthless hard-ass played by James Woods? Sounds good to me. Will every single episode end with a teary courtroom confession?
Fox's "Standoff" Ron Livingston, Rosemarie DeWitt FBI negotiators... in love! Idealistic yet brutal negotiators learn important love lessons! Livingston and DeWitt will hold your attention; kind of like "Moonlighting" with higher stakes. How many times can we see the nutty guy hold a gun to some poor kid's head while the SWAT team moves in?
ABC's "Brothers & Sisters" Rachel Griffiths, Calista Flockhart, Sally Field, Balthazar Getty Large family sorts out its many issues. Daddy never understood me! Rachel Griffiths Calista Flockhart
NBC's "Friday Night Lights" Kyle Chandler, Connie Britton New high school football coach is under major pressure to take his kids to the championship. Don't mess with football in Texas! Original, well-produced, smartly written. Combine suspenseful games, great music, and almost Altman-like realism, and you've got a shinier, more compelling "OC." If you hate football, Texans, Christian rhetoric and hot teenagers, this show probably isn't for you.
Showtime's "Dexter" Michael C. Hall Ultra-creepy forensics expert murders people who've committed crimes and gotten away with it. What's he going to do with that hand saw? Extremely original: It's as if David of "Six Feet Under" went nuts and turned into that creepy guy who tortured him. A hero who delights in torturing and murdering people? Thrillingly perverse, but who has the stomach for it?

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