As part of a pretaped satirical bit that was to air during the opening of the show, Emmy-winner Alec Baldwin played a fictional network president talking on the phone -- and worked in a zinger about Rupert Murdoch listening in. But Fox, which broadcast the show this year, apparently did not find the gag about its parent company amusing. On Thursday, Baldwin tweeted that "I did a short Emmy pretape a few days ago. Now they tell me News Corp may cut the funniest line. #NewsCorphumorlessaswellascorrupt"

That might have had something to do with the Murdoch empire's exhaustive and continuing phone hacking scandal in the U.K. – a stunning breach of privacy by News Corp that affected not just gossip-page celebrities but the families of soldiers and murder victims.

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"A lot of people are very curious why I'm a lesbian ... Ladies and gentlemen, the cast of 'Entourage.'" -- Jane Lynch

That was the best line of the 2011 Emmy broadcast on Fox -- a surprisingly non-boring awards show (during the second half anyway) that saw "Modern Family" dominating the comedy categories, "Mad Men" and "Mildred Pierce" getting their well-dressed derrieres handed to them in the drama and movie/miniseries categories, and outgoing "Two and a Half Men" star Charlie Sheen sporting what looked like a wig made of wolverine hair, and wishing the best of luck to his old co-workers in remarks that were so robotic that I kept anticipating a punch line that never came. (Earlier this year, Sheen was a crack-addled, woman-abusing pariah who blasted his boss Chuck Lorre as a "maggot"and a "nut-less sociopath" and called former costar Jon Cryer "a turncoat, a traitor and a troll"; now he's in the express lane to redemption and prepping another sitcom. Ah, Hollywood.)

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1. Host Jane Lynch lip-synchs her way through an amusing opening sequence:

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-- Drama Series: "Mad Men," AMC.

-- Actress, Drama Series: Julianna Margulies, "The Good Wife," CBS.

-- Actor, Drama Series: Kyle Chandler, "Friday Night Lights," DirecTV/NBC.

-- Supporting Actor, Drama Series: Peter Dinklage, "Game of Thrones," HBO.

-- Supporting Actress, Drama Series: Margo Martindale, "Justified," FX.

-- Writing, Drama Series: Jason Katims, "Friday Night Lights," NBC.

-- Directing, Drama Series: Martin Scorsese, "Boardwalk Empire," HBO.

-- Comedy Series: "Modern Family," ABC.

-- Actor, Comedy Series: Jim Parsons, "The Big Bang Theory," CBS.

-- Actress, Comedy Series: Melissa McCarthy, "Mike & Molly," CBS.

-- Supporting Actress, Comedy Series: Julie Bowen, "Modern Family," ABC.

-- Supporting Actor, Comedy Series: Ty Burrell, "Modern Family," ABC.

-- Writing, Comedy Series: Steven Levitan and Jeffrey Richman, "Modern Family," ABC.

-- Directing, Comedy Series: Michael Spiller, "Modern Family," ABC.

-- Miniseries or Movie: "Downton Abbey (Masterpiece)," PBS.

-- Actress, Miniseries or Movie: Kate Winslet, "Mildred Pierce," HBO.

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"Holy smokes. Wow, it's my first and best pageant ever," said a beaming McCarthy. "I'm from Plainfield, Ill., and I'm standing here and it's kind of amazing."

Moments earlier, she and her fellow nominees had broken with tradition by jumping up on stage as their names were called, led by Amy Poehler of "Parks and Recreation."

They earned a standing ovation from many in the audience, which seemed fitting in a year in which TV shows and movies are giving women edgier leading roles. Among them is the box-office hit "Bridesmaids," which featured McCarthy.

Parsons looked genuinely surprised at his victory. "This is so odd for so many reasons. I was assured by many people in my life that this wasn't happening," he said.

The ceremony aired by Fox opened with a pre-taped comedy sketch that generated controversy because Alec Baldwin's part was cut after he included a joke about the News Corp. phone hacking scandal. Fox is a unit of News Corp.

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This slide show will try to remedy that sad state of affairs. Going beyond the standard Emmy categories -- and invoking the spirit of the MTV Movie Awards but not its consistently awful taste -- we're handing out laurels in 10 categories not recognized by the Emmys: best individual episode of a drama, comedy and unscripted series; best monologue; best love scene; best comedy sequence; best cameo; best death scene; best action sequence; and best monster.

My eligibility period is the same as that of the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences: June 1, 2010, through May 21, 2011. If the program did not air between those dates, I did not consider it for inclusion in this slide show. So if you're wondering why there are no awards for "Breaking Bad," that's the reason -- the same reason it's not up for any Emmys on Sunday.

I hope you'll list your own favorites in these categories -- and maybe devise some new categories! -- in the Letters section.

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Sutter's rage is ill-advised -- nobody wins over the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences by calling them out-of-touch fools. But it wasn't wrong on the merits. The academy's attitude boils down to, "If you're in, for whatever reason, you're in for life, and if you're out, you will always be out." The academy's membership snubs good people and shows while rewarding the same favorites (some deserving, others not) time and time again. Even changing the rules doesn't seem to affect this dynamic.

Rant over. Submitted for your approval: My list of the worst snubs, and the most pleasing nominations. I hope you'll chime in with your own in the Letters section. For a complete list of nominated series, click here.

Should have been nominated

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"Mad Men" has a chance to repeat for a fourth consecutive year as best drama. "Modern Family," last year's top comedy series, was the most-nominated sitcom with 17 bids.

Other leading nominees include the Prohibition-era drama "Boardwalk Empire" with 18 nominations, "Saturday Night Live" with 16 and 13 bids each for the sex-and-swords fantasy "Game of Thrones" and the sitcom "30 Rock."

"OK, keep it together," a surprised nominations co-announcer Melissa McCarthy said when she realized she was a nominee for her sitcom "Mike & Molly."

The controversial sitcom "The Kennedys," which was dropped by the History channel and given a second chance by the lesser-known ReelzChannel, received 10 nominations, including best miniseries.

Familiar faces have a chance to claim -- or reclaim -- Emmys, including last year's lead comedy actress winner Edie Falco of "Nurse Jackie" and Jim Parsons, best actor for a comedy for "The Big Bang Theory." Both were nominated this year.

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But Matthew Weiner might deserve that prize for crafting a whole episode around the Clio awards and the arbitrary nature of success to run on Emmy night. "You finish something, you find out everyone loves it right around the time that it feels like someone else did it," Don says of his nomination for a Clio, foreshadowing his subsequent out-of-body experience. First Don wins, then he doesn't share credit with anyone else but treats it as his personal victory, then he talks about his win like it doesn't matter to him either way when obviously it does, and finally he celebrates by pacing himself badly and entering blackout mode (after smugly chuckling at Duck Phillips in a similar state). Gee, I hope Matthew Weiner had a good Emmy night.

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Therein lies the difference. Television's not just about splashy epics or big names. It's our channel surfing-friendly, attention deficit disordered pal. It's what we are quite possibly eating our dinner in front of tonight. In our underwear. And while we always feel an intimate bond with our favorite shows, has there been an Emmys in recent years in which we've had so many contenders to care about? Far from the "Gee, maybe 'West Wing' will sweep up everything, again" mood of years past, this year's spectacle promised fierce competition among a bevy of obsessively loved fan favorites. The stakes were as high as the Losties and the Gleeks and the I'm With Coco crowd could take them.

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My hopes remain high that some of the truly great new shows and actors will be recognized in favor of the usual suspects. Then again, in many categories, the usual suspects are also the cream of the crop. Take, for example, the nominees for outstanding lead actor in a comedy, which really begin and end with Alec Baldwin ("30 Rock") and Steve Carell ("The Office"). Given Carell's impending departure from his show, you can bet he'll win -- unless "Glee" fever hits Emmy voters and Matthew Morrison stages an upset for his portrayal of boy-band-hopeful-turned-chorus-teacher Will Schuester. Aside from unintended comedy provided by his repetitive funky white boy routine, though, Morrison's performance can't really touch Carell's twitchy, unsettling brilliance.

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That said, I was pleasantly surprised a few times with the 2010 Emmy nominations, and was, per usual, irritated just as often. Tony Shalhoub, again, for real? (eye roll) "Two and a Half Men" taking up valuable space in any category? (bigger eye roll) And why Aaron Paul of "Breaking Bad" didn't submit his reel in the lead actor category is confounding and shameful -- Bryan Cranston is, arguably, the star of that show but this was Paul's year. His performance as the now-sober meth cooker Jesse Pinkman was, in a word, eviscerating.

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The leading nominee was the gritty, unsparing World War II drama, "The Pacific," with 24 nominations.

Conan O'Brien is gone from "The Tonight Show" but his short tenure as host is not forgotten: The late-night show with him at the helm nabbed a nomination as best variety, music or comedy series, while resurrected Jay Leno was snubbed in the category.

David Letterman's "Late Show" also was missing from the nominees, after a season in which the host turned an admission of affairs with female staffers and a blackmail attempt into high broadcast drama.

Out of the running for best comedy series is "Two and Half Men" and its star, Charlie Sheen, who's been charged in a domestic dispute case involving his wife. The show and Sheen have routinely been nominated in past seasons.

Besides "Glee," other newcomers receiving Emmy recognition include "Modern Family," with nods for best comedy series and for five members of its ensemble cast -- although not linchpin Ed O'Neill as the patriarch -- and "The Good Wife," a nominee for best drama and recognition for star Julianna Margulies.

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The leading nominee was the gritty, unsparing World War II drama, "The Pacific," with 24 nominations.

Conan O'Brien is gone from "The Tonight Show" but his short tenure as host is not forgotten: The late-night show with him at the helm nabbed a nomination as best variety, music or comedy series, while resurrected Jay Leno was snubbed in the category.

The Emmy Awards will air Aug. 29 on NBC, with Jimmy Fallon hosting. The ceremony, which usually airs in September, was moved up to avoid a conflict with NBC's Sunday NFL broadcasts.

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But Lady Emmy shouldn't be so down on TV! After all, millions of people at home were watching TV on Sunday night -- namely, they were watching the no-time-remaining, game-winning field goal at the end of the Cowboys-Giants game. (The Giants won.) Oh yeah, and millions tuned in to watch AMC's "Mad Men," too.

I would've been watching "Mad Men," in fact, had I not been asked to cover the Emmys. Apparently something really shocking happened on "Mad Men," and I missed it.

But if you were watching the Cowboys-Giants game or "Mad Men" instead of the Emmys? Don't worry, you didn't miss anything -- nothing that you can't catch up with on Twitter or YouTube, that is. (Oh no! Now I'm doing it, too!)

The sad truth is that this year's Emmys felt about as relevant and as unpredictable as … well, as last year's Emmys. In fact, everyone is tweeting about how this year's Emmys were way, way better than last year's, but let's see: "30 Rock" and "Mad Men" took home the Outstanding Comedy and Outstanding Drama awards, "The Amazing Race" won for Outstanding Reality Competition, "The Daily Show" won it's seventh Emmy in a row for Outstanding Variety, Musical or Comedy Series. Oh wait, here's something new: Bryan Cranston won Outstanding Lead Actor for "Breaking Bad"!

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That's simple: They weren't watching. Because anyone who has been following "The Shield" for years now recognizes how the series not only gained momentum, story-wise, season after season, but also wrapped up with one of the most harrowing, breathtaking and, in the end, thoroughly satisfying final seasons in history. That's right: Like a fine wine or a Paul Newman, this series not only got better and better as it got older, but it went out with a bang instead of the more typical series-ending whimper.

And look what the show's producers got as thanks: Nada. Instead, the Academy rushes to congratulate the writer's of ABC's "Lost" for bringing us yet another, increasingly sleep-inducing tour through their pointless house of mirrors. Not even Michael Chiklis and CCH Pounder, "The Shield's" mesmerizing stars, were acknowledged in the acting categories. Will there be outrage? Blood in the streets? More like scattered grumbling by key "Shield" players on entertainment blogs nationwide. Count on it! Let's support them in their rebellious display of disgruntled muttering, shall we?

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By the time the big awards were passed out at the end of the three-hour-and-eight-minute broadcast, most viewers at home were passed out in front of their TV sets -- if they hadn't tuned out long before. And that's not to mention the absurd injustice of overlooking "The Shield" and "The Wire" completely in favor of mediocre nominees like "Boston Legal" and "Two and a Half Men."

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Another sure thing: We're bound to be disappointed when some deserving soul -- an actor or show that earns our love week after week -- gets overlooked. And so Salon's staff has compiled a list of people we're hoping to see get congratulatory wake-up calls from their agents later this week. From our lips, to Emmy's ears …

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Outstanding Comedy Series
1. Arrested Development * Fox
2. Curb Your Enthusiasm * HBO
3. Scrubs * NBC
4. South Park * Comedy Central
5. Reno 911 * Comedy Central
6. Desperate Housewives * ABC
7. Two and a Half Men * CBS
8. Everybody Loves Raymond * CBS
9. Will & Grace * NBC

Emmy winner: "Everybody Loves Raymond."

Our pick: "Arrested Development" is terrific, but "South Park," also nominated below under Animated Series, is bigger than that: It's the most consistently funny show on TV. Need a reminder?

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