Salon.com > Friday Night Lights http://www.salon.com Mon, 20 May 2013 03:44:17 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 The Julie Taylor Test: How to tell if a TV actor is bad http://www.salon.com/2013/05/05/the_julie_taylor_test_how_to_tell_if_a_tv_actor_is_bad/ http://www.salon.com/2013/05/05/the_julie_taylor_test_how_to_tell_if_a_tv_actor_is_bad/#comments Sun, 05 May 2013 21:00:00 +0000 http://www.railrode.net/?p=13288974 Julie Taylor appeared on all five seasons of the late, great “Friday Night Lights.” The teenage daughter of the show’s main characters, the indelibly decent and charismatic Mr. and Mrs. Coach (or, fine, Eric and Tami Taylor), Julie (Aimee Teegarden) had more screen than almost any of “FNL’s” players except her parents. She wasn’t, at first glance, obviously, abjectly terrible, but she was tremendously opaque and flat: the lackluster nature of her performance was quietly mediocre. Whereas everyone else on that show seemed, almost effortlessly, to embody a real, identifiable, understandable and believable person, Julie never even fully registered, except in rare, fleeting moments.

TV is very kind to bad actors. In a movie, when someone is bland or dull or hammy that’s all they have time to be. On TV, as a bad actor appears again and again, you begin to rationalize the badness, their  under-, over-,  or just plain wretched acting. Maybe this performance is inexpressive and uncharismatic because the character is inexpressive and uncharismatic. Some people are! Maybe it’s not January Jones who can’t put over emotion of any kind, it’s Betty Draper who is so flat!

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2013/05/05/the_julie_taylor_test_how_to_tell_if_a_tv_actor_is_bad/feed/ 98 Buzz Bissinger’s confessions of a (maybe) shopaholic http://www.salon.com/2013/03/26/buzz_bissingers_confessions_of_a_shopaholic/ http://www.salon.com/2013/03/26/buzz_bissingers_confessions_of_a_shopaholic/#comments Tue, 26 Mar 2013 16:00:00 +0000 http://www.railrode.net/?p=13252152 Buzz Bissinger, the author of the book "Friday Night Lights" and a new GQ piece on his shopping addiction, isn't the quiet sort. And he's finally dressing the part, in studded leather jackets and high-heeled boots. Bissinger writes from a Milan fashion show:

I see the collection, and the pheromones of hot clothing defeat the part of the brain that rations rationality—there is the deliciousness of desire overcoming, shall we simply say, overdoing it. I have to have it. I don't have to have it. I need it. I don't need it. I can afford it. I can't afford it. It is the cycle familiar to anyone who fetishizes high fashion.

The writer's look has, until recently, not been particularly eye-catching: He mentions in his piece that he'd until recently worn "khakis from J.Crew and blazers and shirts from Brooks Brothers and Hickey Freeman and Jos. A. Bank." But something snapped in him when his youngest child went to college and his wife moved abroad for work, leading him to order off the Internet boxes and boxes of designer gear from "Gucci, Net-a-Porter, Neiman Marcus, Saks Fifth Avenue, Burberry, Ralph Lauren, Vince, Shopbop, ShopStyle, and, later on, Mr Porter and Moda Operandi." From 2010 to 2012, he says, he spent $587,412.97 on clothing. (Mr. Bissinger is the author of several books, sold the rights for "Friday Night Lights" to film and television, and is a contributing editor at Vanity Fair. His wife is a college administrator.)

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2013/03/26/buzz_bissingers_confessions_of_a_shopaholic/feed/ 2 Connie Britton is the 45-year-old woman you wish you were http://www.salon.com/2013/02/14/connie_britton_is_the_45_year_old_woman_you_wish_you_were/ http://www.salon.com/2013/02/14/connie_britton_is_the_45_year_old_woman_you_wish_you_were/#comments Thu, 14 Feb 2013 18:12:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13201253 Connie Britton, aka "Friday Night Lights'" Tami Taylor, the woman and mother every American woman wanted to be and with hair that is the envy of all, is the subject of an intimate New York Times Magazine profile that takes five pages to explore what makes the current "Nashville" star  so awesome. After transitioning to a darker, sexier role in "American Horror Story," and now as the rising star of "Nashville," at 45, Britton's career is just now hitting its peak — a rarity in Hollywood for women — but  she's doing what she's always done. Here are some of the highlights from the profile, below:

Connie Britton is confident and relaxed

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2013/02/14/connie_britton_is_the_45_year_old_woman_you_wish_you_were/feed/ 7 “Juno” isn’t the average abortion http://www.salon.com/2013/01/22/juno_isnt_the_average_abortion/ http://www.salon.com/2013/01/22/juno_isnt_the_average_abortion/#comments Tue, 22 Jan 2013 16:28:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13178464 The American Prospect In the 40 years since Roe v. Wade, quite a bit has changed about the abortion debate. Evangelicals have taken the helm of the anti-choice movement, once dominated by Catholics. The movement has shifted strategies repeatedly—from stoking moral outrage and blocking abortion clinics to feigning concern for women’s health and, most recently, passing innocuous-sounding building regulations aimed at eliminating access to abortion. For its part, the pro-choice movement has mellowed since the days radical feminists crashed town hallsinto a professionalized juggernaut of lobbyists and lawyers with a mighty service arm known as Planned Parenthood.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2013/01/22/juno_isnt_the_average_abortion/feed/ 17 “Parenthood” bravely tackles abortion http://www.salon.com/2013/01/09/parenthood_takes_on_abortion/ http://www.salon.com/2013/01/09/parenthood_takes_on_abortion/#comments Wed, 09 Jan 2013 14:30:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13165795 Because they happen with such rarity, I feel obliged to take note when they do: There was an abortion on prime-time television last night. On “Parenthood,” shy, quiet high-schooler Drew and his increasingly manly eyebrows found out that his girlfriend Amy was pregnant. Amy decided to have an abortion, Drew decided to be supportive even though a part of him, he tearfully confessed to his sister, wanted to keep it. Amy went through with her plan and the episode ended with Drew sobbing in his mother’s arms. It was all very quiet and understated — no histrionics, no one had a last-minute change of heart. (Bill O'Reilly, who fulminated that "the consequences were not shown" when the Drew and Amy first had sex, many episodes ago, can now fulminate about those consequences.)

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2013/01/09/parenthood_takes_on_abortion/feed/ 8 Channel surfing: The rudderless “Office” thrives, “FNL” alums founder http://www.salon.com/2012/12/07/channel_surfing_the_rudderless_office_thrives_fnl_alums_founder/ http://www.salon.com/2012/12/07/channel_surfing_the_rudderless_office_thrives_fnl_alums_founder/#comments Fri, 07 Dec 2012 17:46:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13118018 My observations of the past week of TV: Too short to stand on their own and too long to keep to myself.

1. When Steve Carell left "The Office," it sent the show into a frenzy to crown the “next boss.” Determining said boss was the major theme of last season, and the reason there were guest-starring roles for Will Arnett, James Spader, Ray Romano, as well as longer story arcs for Catherine Tate and James Spader as the mellow perveball Robert California. But after all that fuss, there is currently no boss in “The Office” at all — Andy Bernard (Ed Helms) is on a long vacation to the Caribbean and has been MIA for weeks — and it’s ... totally fine. The show’s in much better shape than it was during the doldrums of last year, and the huge supporting cast has more to do. In hindsight, "The Office" would have been better served ignoring, rather than trying to fill, Carell’s shoes.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2012/12/07/channel_surfing_the_rudderless_office_thrives_fnl_alums_founder/feed/ 0 Buzz Bissinger goes on Twitter rant http://www.salon.com/2012/10/10/buzz_bissinger_goes_on_twitter_rant/ http://www.salon.com/2012/10/10/buzz_bissinger_goes_on_twitter_rant/#comments Wed, 10 Oct 2012 21:19:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13036251 Buzz Bizzinger, the journalist and author of "Friday Night Lights," began this week by talking up Romney and his debate performance. Today he typed his mind on Twitter. Here's the rapid deterioration:

[embedtweet id="256114511952629760"]

[embedtweet id="256114795412078592"]

[embedtweet id="256115522112991232"]

[embedtweet id="256116481694248960"]

[embedtweet id="256117012634406913"]

[embedtweet id="256117379644391424"]

[embedtweet id="256117749238083584"]

[embedtweet id="256119189918601216"]

[embedtweet id="256121771516915712"]

[embedtweet id="256123404976017408"]

[embedtweet id="256124095345852416"]

[embedtweet id="256124470895456257"]

Bissinger OUT.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2012/10/10/buzz_bissinger_goes_on_twitter_rant/feed/ 18 Romney, please leave “Friday Night Lights” alone http://www.salon.com/2012/10/10/romney_please_leave_friday_night_lights_alone/ http://www.salon.com/2012/10/10/romney_please_leave_friday_night_lights_alone/#comments Wed, 10 Oct 2012 17:39:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13035994 Mitt Romney has recently taken to using “Friday Night Lights'” super-uplifting slogan “Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose” on the campaign trail. (To be fair, Obama has used it too, though not to the same extent.) According to the AP, before the debate, Romney’s staffers tacked the slogan on the wall, and on his way out to the podium, Romney touched it, just like the Dillon Panthers used to do. And then, you know, pulled off a big upset, just like the Dillon Panthers used to do. I can admit that if President Obama was using “Clear Eyes, full hearts, can’t lose” as if he was Matt Saracen I would find this adorable, but I’m glad that Romney has shown me the error of my ways. No party should get to co-opt “Friday Night Lights” for political purposes. Some things are sacred.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2012/10/10/romney_please_leave_friday_night_lights_alone/feed/ 9 From a TV show, a new Romney slogan for victory http://www.salon.com/2012/10/10/from_a_tv_show_a_new_romney_slogan_for_victory/ http://www.salon.com/2012/10/10/from_a_tv_show_a_new_romney_slogan_for_victory/#comments Wed, 10 Oct 2012 14:36:00 +0000 http://http://www.salon.com/2012/10/10/from_a_tv_show_a_new_romney_slogan_for_victory/ WASHINGTON (AP) — "Clear eyes and full hearts — and America can't lose."

It's Mitt Romney's campaign trail twist on the inspirational slogan from "Friday Night Lights," the gritty but poignant TV series about football at fictional Dillon High School in rural Texas. The popular version — simply "Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose!" — has become a rallying cry for a resurgent Romney campaign.

Romney has repeated a version of the line for several days straight on the campaign trail. His campaign sent fundraising email with the motto in the subject line. And it's now plastered at the top of his Facebook page, overlaid on a black-and-white photo of the candidate standing in the rain, his back to the camera, at a rally in Virginia on Monday.

"Clear eyes, full heart, can't lose," Romney said Tuesday in Iowa as he recalled a young teenager facing certain death from cancer. "This is something that we share in this country, men and women of clear eyes and full hearts and America can't lose."

Left out of that speech was the refrain that has been his campaign slogan: "Believe in America."

The unofficial new motto came to prominence almost by accident.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2012/10/10/from_a_tv_show_a_new_romney_slogan_for_victory/feed/ 0 “Nashville”: “All About Eve” goes honky-tonk http://www.salon.com/2012/10/09/nashville_connie_brittons_new_series_is_country_strong/ http://www.salon.com/2012/10/09/nashville_connie_brittons_new_series_is_country_strong/#comments Tue, 09 Oct 2012 20:12:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13034741 “Nashville,” ABC’s new honky-tonk drama premiering Wednesday night, stars “Friday Night Light’s” Tami Taylor in a soap opera created by the writer of “Thelma & Louise” that is equal parts “All About Eve” and “Country Strong” and features songs from the likes of Elvis Costello and Lucinda Williams. It’s possible there exists a Mad-Libs of a show I would be predisposed to like more, but I have no idea what it could be. Happily, “Nashville,” with its unexpected intelligence and surprisingly low-key attitude, not only met all my cockamamie expectations, it exceeded them. By a resounding clamor of y'alls, “Nashville” is the most enjoyable show of the new fall season.

Connie Britton stars as Rayna Jaymes, a good-hearted country music superstar in long standing. (Think Faith Hill, but with a distaste for doing crossover singles like “This Kiss.”) A married mother of two, Jaymes' new record is a flop, and her label wants her to either go on tour with its newly minted star Juliette Barnes (Hayden Panettiere) or junk the record. Barnes is a Taylor Swift with a bad attitude and a voracious sexual appetite (the songs that have been selected for the character actually sound like Swift’s, a nice detail), and she approaches Jaymes with all the pleasantness of a hissing cat.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2012/10/09/nashville_connie_brittons_new_series_is_country_strong/feed/ 3 Pop Torn: This week in cultural ambivalence http://www.salon.com/2011/08/13/pop_torn_fergie_60_minutes_teeth_tattoos/ http://www.salon.com/2011/08/13/pop_torn_fergie_60_minutes_teeth_tattoos/#comments Sat, 13 Aug 2011 12:01:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/entertainment/tv/feature/2011/08/13/pop_torn_fergie_60_minutes_teeth_tattoos Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, and I have to make sure that I have no idea what is going on with those Republican debates. Is Michele Bachmann winning? Is that why her scary face was on Newsweek? Oh man, what a world, what a world. Oh, and London burned down too! Come on, Earth, get it together!

If you've had enough of the depressing news for the week, feast those things in your ocular cavities on these 10 pop culture stories that we've culled from the Internet and beyond! (But mostly the Internet.) They aren't here to make you feel OK again, but maybe they'll take your mind off the fact that the world is going to hell in a hand basket.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2011/08/13/pop_torn_fergie_60_minutes_teeth_tattoos/feed/ 2 Five pop culture items we missed http://www.salon.com/2011/08/02/pop_five_9/ http://www.salon.com/2011/08/02/pop_five_9/#comments Tue, 02 Aug 2011 23:01:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/entertainment/tv/feature/2011/08/02/pop_five 1. Ouroboros of the day: NBC's cult series "Friday Night Lights" may have ended, but show execs have just confirmed a film script is in the works. So this movie will be based on the popular TV series that was a reimagining of the 2004 film of the same name, which was already adapted from Buzz Bissinger's nonfiction book. Just so we won't be confused when we order from Amazon.

2. Weird TV show concept of the day: In an opposite move from "FNL," NBC will be picking up "The Firm," a series based on the Tom Cruise movie taken from the John Grisham book. The cast is stellar -- Juliette Lewis, Josh Lucas, Molly Parker from "Deadwood" -- but how much mileage can they get from a plot where the audience already knows the twist ending?

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2011/08/02/pop_five_9/feed/ 3 A bittersweet farewell to “Friday Night Lights” http://www.salon.com/2011/07/15/farewell_friday_night_lights_open2011/ http://www.salon.com/2011/07/15/farewell_friday_night_lights_open2011/#comments Fri, 15 Jul 2011 17:10:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/entertainment/tv/2011/07/15/farewell_friday_night_lights_open2011 The final episode of "Friday Night Lights" airs tonight, ending a scrappy five season run. It took the DirecTV satellite network co-financing the show -- in a unique deal that allowed it to air "Friday Night Lights" before NBC -- to keep it on the air. So for Satellite subscribers the story of Dillon, Texas, has been concluded for months. For "Lights" fans, those concluding episodes -- and the delirious reviews they garnered -- have been a kind of shadow broadcast, a resonance from the void. The show has been haunted by its own ghost, these last weeks. It was kind of appropriate. This cat had only five lives, after all -- not nine, and it's lived in the shadow of its own mortality for every one of them.

It was never a hit. It always lacked the ingredients of escapism and weekly closure that make for profitable network comfort food. But that was what we loved about it. In the very first episode, golden boy quarterback Jason Street seems headed for a college scholarship and a legendary career in the NFL. He even looks a little like Tom Brady. Then Jason throws an interception and tries to tackle the other team's free safety, as he runs it back for the touchdown. Jason makes the tackle but injures himself catastrophically. By the end of the show's pilot we know that Jason Street has become a paraplegic. Peter Berg, the show's creator, said somewhere that the NBC executives couldn't quite believe this development. "He gets better, right?" They kept saying. "When does he walk again?"

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2011/07/15/farewell_friday_night_lights_open2011/feed/ 19 Five pop culture items we missed http://www.salon.com/2011/07/14/pop_five_kanye_glee_fnl/ http://www.salon.com/2011/07/14/pop_five_kanye_glee_fnl/#comments Thu, 14 Jul 2011 22:15:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/entertainment/tv/feature/2011/07/14/pop_five_kanye_glee_fnl 1. Not-so-"Gleeful" news of the day: Chris Colfer, Lea Michele and Corey Monteith won't be returning for a fourth season of "Glee." Ostensibly, they'd be graduating, right? What, did everyone else fail high school?

2. S'Paz of the day: "Empire Boardwalk's" Paz de la Huerta got more than a slap on the wrist for her bar brawl back in April. Though prosecutors were going to let her off on the condition she enter an alcohol treatment program and do a couple of days of community service, Judge Diana Boyar said Paz had to be evaluated by a rehab facility before she signed off on the deal.

3. "Friday" of the day: Grantland has compiled an oral history of "Friday Night Lights'" successes -- and failures -- throughout the years.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2011/07/14/pop_five_kanye_glee_fnl/feed/ 1 “Friday Night Lights” life lessons: You are going to fail http://www.salon.com/2011/06/29/friday_night_lights_teaches_failure/ http://www.salon.com/2011/06/29/friday_night_lights_teaches_failure/#comments Wed, 29 Jun 2011 12:01:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/entertainment/tv/feature/2011/06/29/friday_night_lights_teaches_failure While not the biggest fan of sports culture, I was hooked on the show "Friday Night Lights" from its premiere episode. The soaring music that crescendoed when a ball was mid-air was somehow just as mesmerizing as watching Taylor Kitsch take off his shirt.

Now that the show is in its final season on NBC (though technically the finale played back in February on DIRECTV), there's no denying that the tragically under-awarded series has been held together by some amazing performances. In particular, Kyle Chandler as the stoic Coach Eric Taylor has imparted five years of wisdom, not all of it about football. What has Coach T. really taught us? He taught us all how to fail, and how to fail well.

Here are some "Friday Night Light" tips for when you lose at life.

1. Get rid of that pride, boy

In the "devil town" of Dillon, everyone must eventually answer for their sins. Whether its conning your church out of money to buy steroids, making an off-handed racist remark to the press, or screwing your crippled best friend's girlfriend -- and hey, we're still in season one! – there is no moral or ethical slip that goes unpunished on "Friday Night Lights."

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2011/06/29/friday_night_lights_teaches_failure/feed/ 11 Emmy nominations: Who got snubbed? http://www.salon.com/2010/07/08/emmy_noms_nominations_announced_2010/ http://www.salon.com/2010/07/08/emmy_noms_nominations_announced_2010/#comments Thu, 08 Jul 2010 15:30:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/entertainment/tv/2010/07/08/emmy_noms_nominations_announced_2010 Joel McHale and Sofia Vergara aren't a bad way to wake up at 5:30, what with the boobs and the height and the funny, but it'd be nice if a distinctly West Coast medium like television could have the decency to operate on a more humane West Coast time. Please.

That said, I was pleasantly surprised a few times with the 2010 Emmy nominations, and was, per usual, irritated just as often. Tony Shalhoub, again, for real? (eye roll) "Two and a Half Men" taking up valuable space in any category? (bigger eye roll) And why Aaron Paul of "Breaking Bad" didn't submit his reel in the lead actor category is confounding and shameful -- Bryan Cranston is, arguably, the star of that show but this was Paul's year. His performance as the now-sober meth cooker Jesse Pinkman was, in a word, eviscerating.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2010/07/08/emmy_noms_nominations_announced_2010/feed/ 32 Everything you need to know about “Friday Night Lights” http://www.salon.com/2010/05/01/friday_night_lights_explainer/ http://www.salon.com/2010/05/01/friday_night_lights_explainer/#comments Sat, 01 May 2010 23:01:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/entertainment/tv/heather_havrilesky/2010/05/01/friday_night_lights_explainer "Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose." These words, which Coach Taylor says to his football team right before they take the field, underscore the bittersweet premise of "Friday Night Lights" -- that even with vision and passion, well-meaning people still fail and flounder and fall apart. But the words also hint at the nuanced blend of realism and romanticism that make "Friday Night Lights" such a unique, unforgettable show. From wheelchair-bound injured quarterback Jason Street to entitled rising star J.D McCoy, from self-destructive wild boy Tim Riggins to earnest but reserved Matt Saracen, from Coach Taylor's wise but flustered wife, Tami, to their headstrong daughter Julie, the show explores how regular people pursue their dreams and sometimes sell those dreams short. The show offers up a road map of the heartbreaks and disappointments and injustices that lurk in small towns, but it also presents a glimpse of the redemption that can come from an old-fashioned mix of optimism and hard work.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2010/05/01/friday_night_lights_explainer/feed/ 23 “Friday Night Lights” embraces the agony of defeat http://www.salon.com/2009/10/28/friday_night_lights/ http://www.salon.com/2009/10/28/friday_night_lights/#comments Wed, 28 Oct 2009 00:28:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/entertainment/tv/i_like_to_watch//2009/10/27/friday_night_lights "Y'all look like a bunch of dumb-asses out there!"

Coach Taylor is at his wit's end. After a few triumphant seasons as head coach of the Dillon Panthers football team, he finds himself trying to rally together a brand-new team at a brand-new school, East Dillon High, after the town is redistricted. The field is brown and dusty. The players have never played football before. (Um, wouldn't a few of the good players have ended up at the new school?) Some of the players have criminal records. Others are unaccustomed to being yelled at, or unwilling to run grueling drills in the withering Texas heat.

Although Taylor (Kyle Chandler) may be facing a losing battle for the first time in his career, in its fourth season, "Friday Night Lights" (premieres 9 p.m. Wednesday, Oct. 28, on DirecTV, airing next year on NBC) is just as thoughtful and restrained as it's ever been, with its focus firmly planted on the small-town disappointments of ordinary people.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2009/10/28/friday_night_lights/feed/ 18 I Like to Watch http://www.salon.com/2008/11/16/friday_night/ http://www.salon.com/2008/11/16/friday_night/#comments Sun, 16 Nov 2008 14:27:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/entertainment/tv/i_like_to_watch//2008/11/16/friday_night  I'm bored with secret agents and split personalities and pie makers who can talk to dead people. These days, our TVs are filled with kooky mad scientists and outrageous, scheming billionaires and gun-running motorcycle thugs and flamethrowing superheroes and villainous magazine editors and clairvoyant detectives on every channel, but I couldn't care less.

You know what I like? Ordinary people. I like divorced dads who take their sullen teenagers camping and old couples who tackle their health problems together and small-town principals who give insecure teenage boys pep talks and medical residents who stay up late reading their mothers' old diaries and injured former quarterbacks who are desperately searching for a way to pay for their kids' daycare.

Ordinary people and their ordinary problems are interesting. The best TV writers in the business know this. Their genuine fascination with regular people allows them to create real connections between viewers and the characters on the screen. Instead of marking time from one plot point to the next, these writers view every scene as an opportunity to dig up colorful little details and funny moments and conflicting emotions that can bring the heart and soul of their characters to life.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2008/11/16/friday_night/feed/ 27 I Like to Watch http://www.salon.com/2008/04/13/dates/ http://www.salon.com/2008/04/13/dates/#comments Sun, 13 Apr 2008 11:00:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/entertainment/tv/i_like_to_watch//2008/04/13/dates When my sister and I were kids, we made our Star Wars action figures go on dates with each other. First we'd take turns picking our favorite action figures, then we'd set up "apartments" for each of them. (We knew from "Three's Company" that single people always lived in apartments.) Next, Luke would knock on Leia's door, but she'd usually say she was busy or had to wash her hair, because she secretly wanted to go out with Mark (that was the hunkier "Empire Strikes Back" version of Luke) or Harrison (the hunky "Empire Strikes Back" Han Solo). Finally, once everyone went on dates and kissed good night and went on dates again without any broken hearts or unexpected pregnancies, we needed to mix things up a little. So Mark would dump Leia for Bespin Leia (the fancy "Empire Strikes Back" Leia who Lando said truly belonged with them "among the clouds" of Bespin City), and Bespin Leia would cheat on Mark with Harrison, or Luke would start stalking Carrie ("Empire Strikes Back" Leia in "Hoth" garb). But even with so much drama and intrigue in the air, the second we started to mix and match the couples, we'd quickly begin to lose interest in the game. Who cared if Bespin Leia dated Mark then Luke then Harrison then Luke again, really? After a while, the relationships felt arbitrary, and sometimes Leia would elope with Chewbacca just to piss everyone off.

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