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Rand Paul will never be president

Sat, 04 May 2013 11:00:00 +0000

Rand Paul, president of the United States of America? Unlikely at best.

Paul the Younger hasn’t disguised the plain fact that he’s running for the 2016 Republican nomination for president; he’s already begun making appearances in early primary and caucus states, and this week he started putting in motion the machinery for a presidential campaign. It’s always possible he won’t be running in 2016 – but for now, he’s certainly running for 2016.

And yet … Rand Paul faces very long odds. Perhaps not quite as long as his father did in his numerous presidential runs, but long enough.

There are basically two questions to ask about whether someone would be a viable candidate for a major party nomination. First, a candidate must have conventional qualifications. Paul certainly clears that hurdle, although not all that impressively. By 2016, he’ll be finishing up a full Senate term. That’s a little more than Barack Obama had (presumably Obama’s state legislative service meant little on this score). It’s more than Mitt Romney, a one-term governor, had. It’s the same number of years as George W. Bush, although Bush had the added qualification of having been reelected. So there’s no real barrier there.

Alex Jones: Boston explosion a government conspiracy

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 20:23:00 +0000

While most observers are witholding judgment about what caused the two explosions at the Boston Marathon this afternoon, right-wing conspiracy theorists already know what's going on -- the government did it and is going to pin the blame on them because today is Patriots' Day, a special day in the militia movement.

Alex Jones, who has become the country's preeminent conspiracy theorist, wasted no time. As with 9/11, Sandy Hook and other national tragedies, he sees the Boston explosions as a "false flag" attack committed by the government. The objective this time: Expanding the Transportation Security Administration's reach to sporting events:

Our hearts go out to those that are hurt or killed #Boston marathon - but this thing stinks to high heaven #falseflag

— Alex Jones (@RealAlexJones) April 15, 2013

Explosions at the Boston Marathon. Don't that the FBI has been behind virtually every domestic terror plot in the US, as NY Times reported.

— Alex Jones (@RealAlexJones) April 15, 2013

“Fringe” recap: Peter screws up

Fri, 10 Dec 2010 13:30:00 +0000

I had worked hard for nearly two years, for the sole purpose of infusing life into an inanimate body ... I had desired it with an ardour that far exceeded moderation; but now that I had finished, the beauty of the dream vanished, and breathless horror and disgust filled my heart. - Victor Frankenstein

This episode of "Fringe" was literally a monster-of-the-week episode, as it explored a topic well covered in such classic works as "Frankenstein" and "Re-Animator": a mad scientist attempting to bring a dead body back to life. However the episode also touched on a more interesting theme -- the idea that sometimes things can never be the way they used to be, no matter how much we might wish it so. This applies not only to the dead ballerina that the main villain is attempting to revive, but also to Olivia's old life, which has been irrevocably tainted by Alt-livia's actions on Earth-1. Alt-livia's violation of Olivia was pretty complete -- there's no place in Olivia's life that isn't tainted by her: Alt-livia's icky body sweat is all over her apartment, she's forever lost the chance to be a giddy new couple with Peter, and even work sucks because everyone knows her shame.

“Fringe” recap: Two worlds collide

Fri, 03 Dec 2010 13:30:00 +0000

Welcome to the purple episode of Fringe where blue and red universes finally collide.

There have been 50 episodes of Fringe aired so far, and this one easily ranks in the top five that the show has done. Olivia and Alt-livia finally make their ways back to their respective universes, but both women will find things a bit changed since they last left. Olivia may eventually notice that Peter seems to already know his way around her bra clasp, meanwhile Alt-livia may find it a bit strange that her boss has just stopped coming to work for some reason.

The show opens right where we left off, with Peter receiving the tip-off that Olivia is still trapped over on Earth-2. Before the credits have even rolled, Peter has already gotten busy snooping on Alt-livia's laptop, tricked her into revealing herself, and gotten himself paralyzed as Alt-livia drops all pretenses and pulls a gun on him. I guess after teasing us for eight weeks with "When will Peter figure it out?" the show didn't want to waste anymore time with that. The Greek phrase Peter uses to trip Alt-livia up was the same one that Olivia blurted out to him when she returned from her first trip over to Earth-2 at the beginning of Season Two, and alert fans will recall that for Peter and his mother the phrase was a code meaning roughly "Keep the people you love close." It's brilliantly appropriate in this situation.

“Fringe” recap: Olivia plots her escape

Fri, 19 Nov 2010 13:15:00 +0000

This week's episode was a real thriller -- not only was the prime case supremely creepy and well done, but the episode ends on quite a cliffhanger, as Olivia's attempt to get back home to Earth-1 proves less than successful.

The main plot involves a serial kidnapper dubbed the Candyman. On Earth-1, the Candyman is a large black man played by Tony Todd in the movies (films that incidentally emotionally scarred me for life as a child). Here on Earth-2, the Candyman is a scary bald white guy who likes stealing children from their bedrooms at night so he can harvest the sweet youthful nectar stored up in their pituitary glands.

The show opens as the Candyman collects his latest victim, Max, age nine. It's like my worst childhood nightmare given form in this scene, as Max's mother assures him there's no monster in the closet, exits the room, and then the door suddenly swings shut to reveal the Candyman standing there in the darkness, clad in a creepy silver mask. Max only has time to gasp as he's whisked away into the night. My inner nine year old weeps in terror.

“Fringe” recap: Olivia is in deep trouble

Fri, 12 Nov 2010 13:30:00 +0000

It's good to see "Fringe" return to form after last week's disappointing episode. Whereas that installment suffered from its stand-alone "Monster of the Week" format, this week is chock full of continuity goodness as it ties together strands laid out over several previous episodes and gives the overall season arc a big push forward.

We open back on Earth-1, where a group of ham radio enthusiasts -- including a crusty lighthouse operator in Maine, a young Chinese man in New York City, and a blond folksy-looking mother in New Hampshire -- eagerly IM about some kind of broadcast they've been waiting to come on. It's clear they're expecting the sequence of numbers that starts rattling over the broadcast. It is equally clear that they weren't expecting the brain-searing signal that accompanies it. There's much moaning and clutching of the head, before they snap out of it and find themselves suffering from what appears to be total memory loss.

Fun fact #1: The frequency the group was tuned into -- 6955 kHz -- is one of the most popular frequencies for pirate radio broadcasts.

“Fringe” recap: Olivia tests her powers

Fri, 05 Nov 2010 12:55:00 +0000

Welcome back to "Fringe" after that one week break. I'd say that I hope you enjoyed the World Series, but judging by the ratings, apparently most of you were watching something else. In that respect, Fringe has a lot in common with baseball. Anyway ... for those of us who still loyally watch the show, we're back this week in Earth-2 with our Olivia.

The "previously on" reminds us that people trapped in the resin that Fringe Division uses to seal up cross-dimensional breaches (substance Amber 31422) have been declared legally dead by the courts in Earth-2. We quickly find out that isn't true, however, as the show opens at a quarantine zone in Brooklyn, where two men free one of the people trapped in amber and successfully revive him. Not so successful, however, is their escape plan, as one of the men (the one who isn't an identical twin to the trapped man) ends up getting trapped behind as the zone reseals with amber almost immediately. The twins (who you might recognize as real life twin brothers Aaron and Shawn Ashmore of "X-men" and "Smallville" fame) run off into the night.

“Fringe” recap: Two shapeshifters revealed

Fri, 15 Oct 2010 12:30:00 +0000

"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be." - Kurt Vonnegut.

Tonight's episode is entitled "Do Shapeshifters Dream of Electric Sheep?" and much like the Philip K. Dick story that inspired the title, the episode is concerned with the question of what it means to be human. The episode explores the notion that faking an emotion for long enough can have the effect of causing an actual real emotion to form, even in the most hardened of hearts (synthetic or otherwise). It brings up the question: Who is more human here? The artificial Ray, who sincerely felt love for his family, or the organic Alt-livia, who can only fake affection for Peter and who uses the appearance of emotion to forward her own sinister goals?

In Dick's story, because the androids lacked empathy, their responses were noticeably slow and emotions could only be feigned at best. Ironically, in the "Fringe" universe, it's the flesh-and-blood Alt-livia who best fits this description, not the synthetic shapeshifters. While Thomas Newton is able to remain emotionally detached from the meatballs around him, other shapeshifters under deep cover on Earth-1 aren't so lucky. This episode introduces two shifters who, having been under deep cover in a single identity for years, have formed actual emotional attachments to the people in their lives.

“Fringe” recap: A break in the Pattern?

Fri, 08 Oct 2010 12:53:00 +0000

The red hued credits of "Fringe" welcome us to back to Earth-2, where ballpoint pens are rare collectible items, the Aruba war is still fresh in people's minds, and avocados are worth their weight in gold.

This week's episode features a Monster of the Week style storyline involving a Fringe suspect named Milo, whose medically-induced prognostication powers allow him to make seemingly insignificant occurrences cause murderous chains of events. The opening scene demonstrates this ability, as Milo drops a pen, which attracts the attention of a man nearby who goes to pick up the pen, putting him into the path of a bike messenger who swerves and crashes. The spectacle then distracts a passing bus driver long enough that he accidentally runs a red light, plowing over a female pedestrian (Milo's intended victim all along) in a horrifically realistic manner. Milo smiles creepily and heads off as the credits roll.

“Fringe” recap: What’s in the box(es)?

Fri, 01 Oct 2010 12:30:00 +0000

"What's in the box? What's in the boooooxxxxx!?" - Det. David Mills, Se7en

This week on "Fringe," boxes feature heavily into the plot. There's the box tied to the main plot -- an ugly thing that looks like a rejected prop from the "Stargate series," and causes some pretty gruesome nose bleeds and brain explosions when opened. Then there's the safety deposit box that William Bell left Walter Bishop in his will. Both boxes have world altering properties -- the former is one of the missing components to Walternate's Peter-powered universe destroyer, and the latter contains every single share of Massive Dynamics stock. In other words, Walter is now the sole owner of the company. I can't wait to see the look on Nina Sharp's face when she finds out.

Alt-livia has gotten together with Thomas Newton, who you may recall was the frozen head the mercury-powered hybrids were seeking out back in season 2. Newton removes Alt-livia's ugly neck tattoo with this really nifty laser gun (and boy if they had those over here, you can bet there'd be approximately 40 percent fewer tramp stamps out in the world). Alt-livia thanks him by getting all bossy and asserting her place as top dog on the Earth 1 mission. Newton doesn't look thrilled by the young whippersnapper usurping his authority, but for now he just equips her with a bunch of personnel files on the Earth 1 "Fringe" Team and a tome of pop culture. Fun Earth 2 fact: They have Patsy Cline but no Bono. This... does not upset me much.

“Fringe” recap: The show’s glorious return

Fri, 24 Sep 2010 14:01:00 +0000

Previously on "Fringe": EVERYTHING. The show opens with an attempt to summarize the entire myth arc of the show in 45 seconds. I assume this is an attempt to help new viewers follow along with the new season, but honestly ... if you haven't been watching the show, you're probably not going to start now. "Fringe" happens to be scheduled in The Timeslot of Doom up against the reliable "The Office," the surprisingly good "Nikita," and the ratings juggernauts "CSI" and "Grey's Anatomy," not to mention Thursday Night Football later in the season. I'm not sure how many new viewers you're going to convince to jump on at this point, especially since what makes the show great -- intricate sci-fi stories that span multiple episodes -- is exactly what makes it hard for newbies to get on board.

Nevertheless, for those of us who have been eagerly awaiting the show's return, tonight's episode was a lot of fun. Part of what makes stories set in alternate universes fun is not only focusing on what's there (e.g. the World Trade Center towers) but what isn't there. It's noteworthy that William Bell, Nina Sharp and Massive Dynamic itself don't seem to have equivalents on Earth 2. Meanwhile, you have to think that it's only a matter of time before we run into Earth 1's version of Lincoln Lee (a.k.a. Burn Victim Guy).

Best new fall TV: “Flash Forward”

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 10:17:00 +0000

"I'd like to buy the world a roofie, and keep it company." ABC network executives must be humming this tune to themselves as their anticipation builds around the premiere of "Flash Forward" (8 p.m. Thursday. Sept. 24), a dark new drama series in which the entire population of planet Earth passes out for two minutes and 17 seconds. Afterward, the populace wakes up to a world in chaos: Cars are wrecked all over the roads, helicopters and planes have fallen from the skies, and citizens are wandering the streets, stunned and bleeding. As the entire planet grapples with a hangover of epic proportions, they discover that, while unconscious, each person had a vision of what he or she would be doing six months in the future.

Just as Coke's '70s-era jingle reflected a sweet, hopeful rainbow of earthlings prone to singing idealistic tunes with little provocation, "Flash Forward" leans into these gloomy times with an undeniable relish. This is the island from "Lost" on a global scale, with a little "Jericho" and "Fringe" thrown in for good measure: Something big and mysterious has occurred, the end may be near, and we can only guess that terrorists, corrupt corporations and high-level conspiracies are involved.

I Like to Watch

Sun, 07 Sep 2008 12:00:00 +0000

BBQ Pork Ravioli Bites. Aside from ushering in the apocalypse, those words reflect our precipitous fall from grace as a nation, and hint at the blind, savory-sweet hedonism that finally buried us on an international stage.

There was a time when T.G.I. Friday's wouldn't have gone so far, a time when our proud land could hold its head high as it dunked big breaded slabs of mozzarella and battered hunks of cream-cheese-filled jalapeños into the deep fryer. We were once a simple people, a people who merely wanted enormous platters of deep-fried food to nibble on before our actual meals -- gargantuan platters of deep-fried food -- arrived. That was before we needed everything, all at once -- a heady mix of sugar, salt, oil and extra dipping sauce, a volatile blend of cuisines from the Deep South, China and Italy, coming to rest at last in the land of "Bites," that deceptive territory where a 1,500-calorie, 45-fat-gram gut bomb is disguised as a satisfying but delicate little morsel for the grazing gourmand. Once, not so long ago, we may have had a hankering for a hunk of deep-fried cheese, but did we long for an explosive amalgam of pot stickers, barbecue pork and pasta? No. We had more restraint, more self-respect, more dignity than that.