And at the same time, as the world around us seems to change more often than my daughter changes outfits, it can be hard to not lump Mother’s Day with some nostalgic, soft-focus-sense of June Cleaver as the idealized mother image toward which we all strive.

Somewhere between the good and bad of modern society lies the real Mother’s Day — in which we must simultaneously celebrate the wonderful diversity of families in the 21st century while condemning the real violence and harm done to so many of those families every day.

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Christopher and I had hiked four miles through the mossy Point Reyes forest to a dramatic cliff overlooking the ocean. We sat in the dirt, which was pockmarked with mouse holes and accented with ice plant in electric-pink bloom. Turquoise waves churned below and a seagull took stomach-turning dives as we read each other letters we had written moments before alongside a shady creek. These notes -- our individual expressions of why we wanted to make this commitment -- said the same things with different words. We cried, hugged and then took turns asking, "Will you marry me?" We both said yes and, hands shaking, slipped engagement rings on each other's fingers.

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A man faking it? Morgentaler, an associate clinical professor of urology at Harvard Medical School, had never heard of such a thing. After he got over the puzzle of how a man could effectively pull off such a ... sleight of semen, he got to the patient's motivation. As Morgentaler writes in his new book, "Why Men Fake It: The Totally Unexpected Truth About Men and Sex," his patient was having trouble climaxing during sex with his girlfriend, so he feigned pleasure for her benefit. He "was simply trying to do what he believed was the right thing by her."

Morgentaler came to realize that faking it was more common among men than he had realized -- and that this general sexual sentiment was, too. "That is a refrain I hear regularly from men in one form or another, yet this admirable, loving aspect of male sexuality is hidden among the detritus that passes as wisdom about what men are all about," he writes. His book -- which paints a portrait of men who feel anxious about their erections, pressured into having sex and concerned about their partner's pleasure -- is all about correcting that.

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We had our first kiss in a dark corner. Before long, we were flying down the stairs of the club and climbing into the back of a cab. Within 30 minutes we would be back at her house for hours of groping and tussling, but when I asked the cabbie to pop the trunk, she asked, “What is that big, green bag you’re carrying?” I looked at my feet and confessed.

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But you will find very few corresponding stories about heterosexual men's struggle with childlessness. And that is weird, according to researchers at Keele University. Because, as one study found, they are kind of baby crazy, too.

Researcher Robin Hadley carried out a survey of 81 women and 27 men who did not have children, and asked them if they wanted them. He found that men were almost as likely as women to want children -- 59 percent to 63 percent -- but actually more likely than women to feel depressed, angry and jealous if they didn't have them.

Of the men who wanted children, 50 percent experienced isolation because they did not have them, compared with 27 percent of women; 38 percent experienced depression, compared with 27 percent of women; and 56 percent experienced jealousy of those with children, compared with 47 percent of women.

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Defenders of California's ballot referendum banning gay marriage said today in court, and in their brief, that if marriage becomes a "genderless institution," children will suffer, because gay people can't procreate without help -- or rather, because marriage evidently exists to sanctify the accidental baby-making of men and women, despite the fact that so many women and men making babies today are rejecting marriage. Yes, this is their real argument.

Making it into a "what about the children" question sounds better than hating gay people for being gay, and it also sounds better than saying that men are intended for one thing and women for another. And yet that's exactly the implication made clear before the Supreme Court today. (The child-welfare argument may not work, either, no matter how much Antonin Scalia fulminated about the "sociological evidence" being too inconclusive about the impact of being raised by gay parents -- there was swing voter Anthony Kennedy wondering aloud whether the "voices of the children" of gay people should be heard.)

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Our children are both 13 now. They live in different towns and move about in different circles, and they will, when the time comes, pick their own damn prom dates. And though it should have been obvious back then -- especially for a gay-friendly, big city mom whose children would grow up going to pride parades with their lesbian aunts -- not every boy is going to go to the dance with a girl. Not every little princess dreams of marrying a prince. I had been talking about my children's world as a strictly heterosexual place while they were still in the womb, even though I knew it wasn't. But I'm trying to do better now.

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Hers is only one story from the huge, multifaceted women’s movement chronicled in the new three-hour documentary “Makers: Women Who Make America,” airing Tuesday night on PBS, which profiles women on the front lines of the 50-year struggle for women’s rights. Marlo Thomas, who starred as Anne Marie, the title role of ”That Girl,” appears in each of the three hours of the documentary — Hillary Clinton and Gloria Steinem are the other two stars of the documentary.

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But do men and women compete the same?

Many recent findings in scientific research reveal gender differences – differences in when they choose to compete, differences in risk taking during competition, different responses to the stress of competition, and different strategies for dealing with that stress. Men are quicker to bond with teammates; women are more willing to befriend competitors. Women are less rattled by being ranked, especially when that ranking isn’t near the top. Men are overconfident of their abilities, while women underattribute success to their own skills. Men get more competitive under time pressure, while women get less competitive under time pressure. Men rate their teammates and competitors lower in ability – women rate them higher.

But these are all averages; they don’t necessarily apply to any one man or woman. So the question remains whether these average differences are truly meaningful, especially compared to the broader spectrum of individual differences. Are those scientists making a mountain out of a molehill here? Are the nuanced differences in competitive style significant enough to actually be helpful in maximizing their performance?

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A totally righteous argument, right? But the petition, which has 716 signatures at the time of this writing, says that this sort of language is "counterproductive to the women's equality the President is ostensibly supporting." It goes on to explain, "Defining women by their relationships to other people is reductive, misogynist, and alienating to women who do not define ourselves exclusively by our relationships to others. Further, by referring to 'our' wives et al, the President appears to be talking to The Men of America about Their Women, rather than talking to men AND women."

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The study -- which bears the super-sexy title "Egalitarianism, Housework, and Sexual Frequency in Marriage" -- looked at data on more than 4,000 heterosexual married couples in the U.S. If you actually read it -- I know, wild concept -- you discover that the researchers looked at the division of “traditionally female” versus “traditionally male” household chores (i.e., washing dishes versus auto maintenance) and found that “both husbands and wives in couples with more traditional housework arrangements report higher sexual frequency.” Says co-author Julie Brines, an associate professor of sociology at the University of Washington, "The results show that gender still organizes quite a bit of everyday life in marriage.”

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Despite ample proof that women have long been serving on combat patrols in the American military, and a vast international precedent of women on the front lines of war, the reaction to the Pentagon's announcement has been mixed.

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Basinger, chair of film studies at Wesleyan University and best known for the marvelous book "A Woman's View: How Hollywood Spoke to Women 1930-1960," specializes in the movies of the studio era; her romp through that period takes up well over two-thirds of this new volume -- the most knowing and illuminating portion. This focus is both an asset and a shame because so many of today's young cineastes are unfamiliar with or put off by movies made before 1960, and for this reason they may not appreciate "I Do and I Don't." Sometimes it's the black-and-white imagery they reject, but more often they're simply unable to read or adjust to the stylized codes of an era in popular culture that's vanishing in our collective rear-view mirror.

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The gun, badge and hat (and jeans and cowboy boots) announce him. Raylan is rarely seen without his Stetson (except for an early episode in which he lost the hat in a bar fight), and his marshal's badge, which he wears on the right side of his belt, just in front of his gun holster. You might think that those things just about comprise his identity, but there you'd be wrong.

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Ask a woman why she endures the awkwardness and discomfort, and she’ll probably respond, “They make me look, and feel, more attractive.” Newly published research suggests this perception is accurate, but perhaps not for the reason you’d expect.

It’s not the artificially increased height that turns heads. Rather, it’s how such footwear changes the mechanics of a woman’s gait.

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McKenna started a petition on Change.org calling on toy manufacturer Hasbro to tone down the gender-typing on the Easy-Bake Oven. The open letter to CEO Brian D. Goldner might feature a pretty adorable video of Gavyn talking about baking (and dinosaurs!), but it's not kidding around. In response to the frilly colorway for the oven, McKenna writes:

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I have a question that I really need help with. I feel I've been stuck in the same place emotionally for about a year. I'm a bisexual woman in my early 30s, and since about age 25 I've been dating exclusively women and some trans men (ftm) [female-to-male transsexuals]. I didn't do this on purpose, it just kind of happened. But for the last year or more I've had the strong desire to date a biological man.

I don't know why, I don't know where this desire came from, but I can't really ignore it. Like I said, it's been hanging around for a year. The problem is, I haven't acted on it because not only am I rusty in relating to men in a romantic way, I'm very afraid that I won't find a man who will truly respect my history with women. I'm afraid that most men would dismiss my history with women, and judge my past relationships as less than straight relationships. I think this may be true even of men who are generally not homophobic in any of the obvious ways. So what do I do with this fear? Please help me, because I can't seem to unstick myself.

Much love,

Lost In Wonderland

Dear Lost in Wonderland,

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I feel like my life is at a crossroads, and either direction I take is going to have major consequences.  I am 33 years old, almost 34, and I just ended my umpteenth relationship. There was nothing wrong with the guy -- we just were taking different paths.  I consider myself to be ultra-capable.  Right now, I am working for a political organization while teaching a college course and finishing my dissertation and taking on freelance work on the side.  I volunteer, I exercise, I have family and friends I love.  The only thing I have felt is missing in my life is a child.  

Like any woman at my age and in my situation, I always figured I would meet a man, fall in love, and have children. But, as I went out and lived my life, living overseas for a while, working in public life, extending my studies as far as they could go, it just never seemed to happen. I've dated (and dated and dated) since college, and none of them really "'clicked" with me.  I have been accused of having a "strong personality" and I like to lead -- many friends think I will probably hold office one day -- and the men I tend to associate with are just uncomfortable with that in a partner.  But I'm not writing for relationship advice.  I think I will likely meet someone someday, or maybe not, but I can't force it.

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