Salon.com > Jennifer Aniston http://www.salon.com Mon, 20 May 2013 00:00:00 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 Get out of Jessica Simpson’s womb! http://www.salon.com/2011/10/26/get_out_of_jessica_simpsons_womb/ http://www.salon.com/2011/10/26/get_out_of_jessica_simpsons_womb/#comments Wed, 26 Oct 2011 16:00:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=10146836 So far this week, a very not-pregnant Jennifer Aniston has had to explain that she's merely "gained a couple of pounds" since quitting smoking, while an increasingly big-bellied Jessica Simpson remains conspicuously silent about her obvious midsection girth. We are living in strange times indeed, celebrity womb-wise.

We've come a long way from the days when Lucille Ball's pregnancy was so discreetly managed, that she couldn't even use the word "pregnant" on her own television show, and since Shirley Jones quietly plowed through her work in "The Music Man" while costume designers diligently let out her dresses. Then in August 1991, celebrity fecundity jumped the shark when Demi Moore appeared nude and ready to drop on the cover of Vanity Fair. In the 20 years since then, tabloid culture has eagerly made a mountain out of every muffin top, turning every C-lister's bout of bloat into a possible baby bump. And when a woman does go public with her status, she's still subject to intense -- nay, crackpot -- scrutiny. Witness the obsessive attention Beyonce's abdomen area has been getting of late, and rumors that she's faking the whole thing. Note to everybody: Real life rarely resembles a plot point on "Glee."

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2011/10/26/get_out_of_jessica_simpsons_womb/feed/ 6 “Horrible Bosses”: Hostile work environment http://www.salon.com/2011/07/06/horrible_bosses/ http://www.salon.com/2011/07/06/horrible_bosses/#comments Wed, 06 Jul 2011 20:30:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/entertainment/movies/andrew_ohehir/2011/07/06/horrible_bosses As inconsequential and virtually indistinguishable sub-Judd Apatow white-boy comedies fueled by prison-rape gags and pants-pissing anxiety around black people go, "Horrible Bosses" is pretty solid entertainment. Did you notice how I adjusted the bar there? It actually took a female colleague to nudge me gently toward the glaringly obvious fact that "Horrible Bosses" recycles its plot from the 1980 hit "Nine to Five" with the feminism drained out of it, which is to say its entire reason for existing is gone. "Horrible Bosses" has no meaning or purpose whatever, but it does have Colin Farrell with a bad comb-over, Kevin Spacey acting really mean and Jennifer Aniston as a spray-tanned sex maniac, and that's going to have to do.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2011/07/06/horrible_bosses/feed/ 18 Is Jennifer Aniston a “homewrecker”? http://www.salon.com/2011/06/22/jennifer_aniston_homewrecker_justin_theroux/ http://www.salon.com/2011/06/22/jennifer_aniston_homewrecker_justin_theroux/#comments Wed, 22 Jun 2011 20:23:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/entertainment/celebrities/2011/06/22/jennifer_aniston_homewrecker_justin_theroux And in today's b.s. celebrity news headlines, we have a winner with Us Weekly's "How Jennifer Aniston Pulled an Angelina With Justin Theroux." You know, because Jen "Maneater" Aniston met Theroux on the set of "Wanderlust" and, according to reports, enticed him to break up with his live-in girlfriend of 14 years, Heidi Bivens. Now Aniston is being labeled a homewrecker, the "other woman" and a bunch of other derogatory terms for women whom non-single guys leave their significant others for. Funny how we have no word for the male equivalent of a homewrecker, isn't it? From the Us Weekly story:

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2011/06/22/jennifer_aniston_homewrecker_justin_theroux/feed/ 15 “Just Go With It”: Adam Sandler, Jennifer Aniston, Nicole Kidman and a sheep http://www.salon.com/2011/02/10/just_go_with_it/ http://www.salon.com/2011/02/10/just_go_with_it/#comments Thu, 10 Feb 2011 20:30:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/entertainment/movies/andrew_ohehir/2011/02/10/just_go_with_it "Just Go With It" is an Adam Sandler comedy, which means it bears only a superficial relationship to the customary conventions of moviemaking, and also that there's no use getting all worked up about that. Now, those who collect pop culture effluvia in their heads (such as me) will be interested to know that this farce about a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon who pretends to be married in order to get laid is in some sense a remake of the 1969 Walter Matthau-Ingrid Bergman-Goldie Hawn movie "Cactus Flower," which was itself based on a play by Abe Burrows which was itself based on a French play. (There will be a quiz.) In other words, Adam Sandler, despite all the all-American gags about poop and men getting kicked in the 'nads, is a cheese-eating surrender monkey who hates our freedom. Any further questions?

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2011/02/10/just_go_with_it/feed/ 31 “Going the Distance”: Can Drew Barrymore save the rom-com? http://www.salon.com/2010/09/03/going_the_distance/ http://www.salon.com/2010/09/03/going_the_distance/#comments Fri, 03 Sep 2010 11:01:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/entertainment/movies/andrew_ohehir/2010/09/03/going_the_distance If you want proof that the American romantic comedy is in a dismal state, trapped halfway between apology and experiment, you need look no further than "Going the Distance," which features real-life couple Drew Barrymore and Justin Long as a likable young recession-era duo separated by a continent, a lack of funds and a cloudy future. I don't mean that this movie is strikingly good or strikingly bad, in cosmic terms -- it's a solid but totally forgettable entertainment, redeemed somewhat by Barrymore's loud, horsey laugh and some agreeably racy comic situations.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2010/09/03/going_the_distance/feed/ 23 “The Switch”: Jason Bateman steals Jennifer Aniston’s spotlight http://www.salon.com/2010/08/20/the_switch/ http://www.salon.com/2010/08/20/the_switch/#comments Fri, 20 Aug 2010 00:20:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/entertainment/movies/andrew_ohehir/2010/08/19/the_switch Jennifer Aniston and Bill O'Reilly should definitely send each other Christmas cards this year. By getting into a ritualized kerfuffle over Aniston's new movie, "The Switch," which proposes the daring hypothesis that some women may decide to have children without a man in their lives, these two fading pop celebrities managed to make themselves briefly seem relevant. Unless you're old enough to remember Dan Quayle vs. "Murphy Brown" from 18 years ago, that is, in which case the whole thing seemed like warmed-over cultural warfare from the early Pat Buchanan epoch.

If O'Reilly seems less hot than he used to because he isn't quite crazy enough for today's right-wingers (and who'd have thought we'd ever be saying that?), Jennifer Aniston faces a crueler but more familiar predicament. She's a well-liked female star who's just north of 40 but is not named Julia or Nicole and lacks a celebrity spouse. Her more serious problem is that she lacks a clear métier: Aniston is a gifted comedienne best suited for screwballish character roles, but she seems compelled by career forces -- managers, money, vanity; who knows? -- to play the romantic lead in a series of unremittingly mediocre love stories.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2010/08/20/the_switch/feed/ 27 Women are on Team Aniston http://www.salon.com/2010/08/17/aniston_oreilly_2/ http://www.salon.com/2010/08/17/aniston_oreilly_2/#comments Tue, 17 Aug 2010 00:01:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/life/broadsheet//2010/08/16/aniston_oreilly It turns out most women disagree with Bill O'Reilly's bluster about Jennifer Aniston being "destructive to our society."

As you might recall, the Fox host attacked the actress for celebrating the wealth of reproductive options, including in vitro fertilization for single women. O'Reilly, in his signature hyperbolic style, called this an insult to fathers everywhere; and Aniston responded by clarifying that, dude, she wasn't advocating for single motherhood, she's just glad women have more choices these days. Well, so too are most women, according to a survey of 1,936 American women between the ages of 25 and 45. The poll, conducted by a fertility clinic (naturally) in the Caribbean, found that 83 percent "support a single woman using IVF to conceive if she is emotionally and financially able to care for the child," according to UPI.

Jennifer Aniston: 1; Bill O'Reilly: 0.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2010/08/17/aniston_oreilly_2/feed/ 24 Aniston vs. O’Reilly: Round II http://www.salon.com/2010/08/13/aniston_oreilly/ http://www.salon.com/2010/08/13/aniston_oreilly/#comments Fri, 13 Aug 2010 17:50:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/life/broadsheet//2010/08/13/aniston_oreilly Jennifer Aniston probably shouldn't have dignified Bill O'Reilly's tantrum with a reply -- but, damn, is her response satisfying. To recap: The actress made a comment during a recent press junket about how great it is that women have various reproductive options these days, including artificial insemination. In response, the FOX talk show host spazzed out, declaring: "She's throwing a message out to 12-year-olds and 13-year-olds that, 'Hey you don't need a guy. You don't need a dad.' That is destructive to our society." 

Now, the 41-year-old star of "The Switch," a movie about the search for a sperm donor, has responded to O'Reilly's conniption with great parental poise:

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2010/08/13/aniston_oreilly/feed/ 56 Bill O’Reilly: Jennifer Aniston “destructive to society” http://www.salon.com/2010/08/11/oreilly_aniston/ http://www.salon.com/2010/08/11/oreilly_aniston/#comments Wed, 11 Aug 2010 18:45:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/life/broadsheet//2010/08/11/oreilly_aniston Bill O'Reilly seems to believe that unwed Jennifer Aniston's desire for a baby signals the decline of Western civilization. (Reminds me how after watching a recent episode of "The Real World" my dad offered a mostly joking revelation: "America is in collapse.") Fox's prophet of cultural doom was set off yesterday by a comment the 41-year-old made this weekend during a press junket for "The Switch," a movie about a single woman seeking a sperm donor.

Before we continue our Dante-esque descent into the nine circles of O'Reilly insanity, let's review what Aniston actually said:

Women are realizing it more and more knowing that they don't have to settle with a man just to have that child. Times have changed and that is also what is amazing is that we do have so many options these days, as opposed to our parents' days when you can't have children because you have waited too long.

Now to what O'Reilly said: "She's throwing a message out to 12-year-olds and 13-year-olds that, 'Hey you don't need a guy. You don't need a dad.' That is destructive to our society." He continues, "The fathers who do try hard are under-appreciated and diminished by people like" -- he sneers -- "Jennifer Aniston."

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2010/08/11/oreilly_aniston/feed/ 114 The Onion: Aniston adopts African boyfriend http://www.salon.com/2010/07/21/jennifer_aniston_the_onion_news/ http://www.salon.com/2010/07/21/jennifer_aniston_the_onion_news/#comments Wed, 21 Jul 2010 17:10:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/life/broadsheet//2010/07/21/jennifer_aniston_the_onion_news Poor, poor Jennifer Aniston. She's rich; she's successful; she's gorgeous. It's TRAGIC. After all, she's over 40 now, and with no boyfriend, well… tick tick tick. Obviously, her life is rapidly losing all meaning as she spirals toward barren spinsterhood. So terrible is the specter of Aniston's fate that Babble recently devoted a slideshow to that unfulfilled crone and other "Celebrities with Aniston Syndrome." But while Babble ultimately decided that musing who might "regret not having a baby sooner" is douchey and pulled the piece, the endless speculation about when the "Friends" alum will just settle down with a nice man (note to Jen: not John Mayer) and start a family never lets up. We just want you to be happy, dear.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2010/07/21/jennifer_aniston_the_onion_news/feed/ 15 “The Bounty Hunter” chains its stars to the bed http://www.salon.com/2010/03/19/the_bounty_hunter/ http://www.salon.com/2010/03/19/the_bounty_hunter/#comments Fri, 19 Mar 2010 00:20:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/entertainment/movies/stephanie_zacharek/2010/03/18/the_bounty_hunter "The Bounty Hunter" has brought me no closer to knowing whether I find Jennifer Aniston mildly appealing or mostly unbearable. By now I've at least learned that she's an actress who can't be easily written off. She's given surprisingly multi-shaded performances in pictures like David Frankel's unapologetically emotional "Marley & Me," but she's also been deeply underwhelming -- just too cute by half -- in movies like "The Break-up."  I've adopted a "show me" policy when it comes to Aniston's movies: I'm open to the possibility of surprise, but I know I'm more likely to get a passable level of inoffensive mediocrity.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2010/03/19/the_bounty_hunter/feed/ 11 “Love Happens” — and it stinks http://www.salon.com/2009/09/18/love_happens/ http://www.salon.com/2009/09/18/love_happens/#comments Fri, 18 Sep 2009 10:17:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/entertainment/movies/review/2009/09/18/love_happens "Love Happens" isn't a romantic comedy, and maybe it would be more effective, or at least just livelier, if it were. Instead, it's a limp romantic drama that occasionally lifts its drowsy head to attempt a wan smile, a picture that starts out being harmlessly dull and ends, somehow, in a place that feels insultingly manipulative. Maybe there are worse ways to spend 90 minutes in a movie theater, but right now I can't think of one.

Aaron Eckhart plays Burke -- that's his first name -- an earnest-looking grief guru who runs popular seminars designed to help people get over the loss of a loved one. The seminars grew out of a book he wrote as he attempted to grapple with his own wife's accidental death. The book became a bestseller; the hitch is that it didn't really help Burke kick his own grief habit. He still hasn't adjusted to life without his wife, and he still feels guilt over her loss. It doesn't help that her ex-Marine father (played by Martin Sheen) does stuff like march up to Burke during one of his seminars and kick him in the pants -- figuratively speaking -- for being so cowardly about accepting the reality of his wife's death.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2009/09/18/love_happens/feed/ 14 “Management” http://www.salon.com/2009/05/15/management/ http://www.salon.com/2009/05/15/management/#comments Fri, 15 May 2009 10:25:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/entertainment/movies/review/2009/05/15/management In Stephen Belber's romantic comedy "Management," Mike (played by Steve Zahn), a socially awkward, no-longer-so-young man who helps run his parents' small-town Arizona motel and can't help wanting more out of life, woos the sharp-edged but equally lonely Sue (Jennifer Aniston) with words along these lines: "You're really nice and sweet, beneath ..." He doesn't finish the sentence, until Sue urges him to: "Beneath the part of you that's not."

At that moment, which occurs fairly early on in "Management," there's still some hope for the picture: It would have been enough for Belber (in his directorial debut; he also wrote the script) to explore a burgeoning romance between two people, one who's perhaps too sweet for his own good, the other whose prickliness -- her quality of "not being nice" -- is actually hiding a quiet but deep kind of generosity. Belber has a cast of fine actors to work with here: Margo Martindale and Fred Ward appear in supporting roles, as Mike's parents. And Zahn and Aniston have a nice, staticky chemistry going in the movie's early scenes. Zahn is a wonderful and often unappreciated actor, and at the beginning of "Management" he makes us see Mike's vulnerability, without coming off as overly pathetic. And Aniston, who tends to give better performances in smaller movies than in big-budget, mainstream ones (she's also an executive producer of this picture), in return offers a kind of cautious, crackly warmth.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2009/05/15/management/feed/ 12 America’s narcotic of choice http://www.salon.com/2009/02/16/sirota_6/ http://www.salon.com/2009/02/16/sirota_6/#comments Mon, 16 Feb 2009 11:34:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/news/opinion//feature/2009/02/16/sirota I'm not sure if it's because we're strung out on "Lost" episodes, or if it's because we're still suffering from a post-9/11 stress disorder that makes us crave "breaking news" alerts, or if it's because the economy has turned us into distraction junkies. But one thing is painfully obvious after Michael Phelps' marijuana "scandal" erupted last week: Our society is addicted to fake outrage -- and to break our dependence, we’re going to need far more potent medicine than the herb Phelps was smoking.

If you haven't heard (and I'm guessing you have), the Olympic gold medalist was recently photographed taking a toke of weed. The moment the picture hit the Internet, the media blew the story up, pumping out at least 1,200 dispatches about the "controversy," according to my LexisNexis search. Phelps' sponsors subsequently threatened to pull their endorsement deals, and USA Swimming suspended him for "disappointing so many people."

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2009/02/16/sirota_6/feed/ 149 “He’s Just Not That Into You” http://www.salon.com/2009/02/06/just_not_into_you/ http://www.salon.com/2009/02/06/just_not_into_you/#comments Fri, 06 Feb 2009 11:35:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/entertainment/movies/review/2009/02/06/just_not_into_you For the first 20 minutes, at least, the ensemble semi-comedy "He's Just Not That Into You" pulls off the illusion of being a reasonably intelligent date movie, or at least an entertaining one. Ben Affleck and Jennifer Aniston play Neil and Beth, a longtime unmarried couple who face turmoil when Beth decides she really does want that ring. Drew Barrymore is Mary, a sweet-tempered, trusting free spirit who appears to attract only slick operators. Jennifer Connelly and Bradley Cooper play Janine and Ben, a 30-ish couple who've been together since college and who've talked themselves into believing they're perfectly happy. And Ginnifer Goodwin is Gigi, an openhearted, cherub-faced charmer who works hard at dating -- perhaps too hard -- and gets only disappointment in return.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2009/02/06/just_not_into_you/feed/ 38 “Marley & Me” http://www.salon.com/2008/12/25/marley_and_me/ http://www.salon.com/2008/12/25/marley_and_me/#comments Thu, 25 Dec 2008 12:05:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/entertainment/movies/review/2008/12/25/marley_and_me  Whenever a movie -- particularly one in which animals are involved -- makes me cry, I knuckle down and ask myself some serious questions, and not just out of professional duty: Were those tears coaxed out via cheap tactics on the part of the filmmaker? Or did he or she earn them the honest way, through artful writing, careful casting, and an understanding of how to work with performers so they hit some emotional truth?

In the case of "Marley & Me," directed by David Frankel ("The Devil Wears Prada," "Miami Rhapsody"), I had to be especially tough. Based on newspaper columnist John Grogan's best-seller, "Marley & Me" is about a Florida couple -- in the movie, they're played by Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston -- who adopt what they call "the world's worst dog," a yellow Lab named Marley. Marley chews through drywall and leather bags and is known to steal the occasional barbecued chicken right off the grill. Misbehaving almost constantly, he lives a long and happy life, beloved by his owners as he sees them through all sorts of ups and downs. And then, as every dog must, he dies -- not in any sort of tragic accident, but simply because, for dogs as well as people, old age generally hastens health complications.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2008/12/25/marley_and_me/feed/ 33 I Like to Watch http://www.salon.com/2008/04/27/nerds/ http://www.salon.com/2008/04/27/nerds/#comments Sun, 27 Apr 2008 12:00:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/entertainment/tv/i_like_to_watch//2008/04/27/nerds This week, many questions haunt me. Why does Oprah think we'll kill to catch a glimpse of Jennifer Aniston? Why can't poor Liz Lemon of "30 Rock" find a nice guy whose nickname for her isn't "dummy"? Why would those idiot Cylons on "Battlestar Galactica" give their robot stooges the ability to reason, thereby creating a master race of robots with a serious grudge to bear? Why can't I give my Roomba robot vacuum the ability to reason, so it can clean its own damn brushes and get back to doing the vital and important work of sucking a vast sea of dog hair off my floors?

On the other hand, my Roomba probably doesn't like me all that much, considering the demeaning tone I use to address it. ("There, I've cleaned your stupid brushes. Now get back to work, maggot!") Armed with an ability to reason, my Roomba might scale my bed and try to kill me in my sleep ... by sucking my brains out of my ear!

No way. That worthless maggot doesn't have the guts or the sucking power to pull off a stunt like that. It wouldn't dare!

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2008/04/27/nerds/feed/ 37 Who the hell are Heidi and Spencer? http://www.salon.com/2008/03/20/celebrity_tabloid/ http://www.salon.com/2008/03/20/celebrity_tabloid/#comments Thu, 20 Mar 2008 11:15:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/life//feature/2008/03/20/celebrity_tabloid It would seem the most incidental of choices: Before boarding a recent night flight across the Atlantic Ocean, I stepped into a newsstand at John F. Kennedy airport and left without buying a single glossy gossip magazine for my trip. Planes are my top favorite place in which to indulge in the brain-cleansing pleasures of People, US Weekly, In Touch, and even the occasional Star magazine. But on this particular flight -- on my way to an indulgent (if not brain-cleansing) vacation, no less -- all I could do was stare at my candy-colored cover choices, recognize in some dazed way that I didn't know what a Heidi or a Spencer was, and proceed to the register with only a bottle of water and the Atlantic Monthly.

By the time I boarded a return flight a week later, the next issue of the Atlantic Monthly was on the stands, bearing on its cover an image of embattled pop tart Britney Spears; it sat next to a new issue of US Weekly, whose cover bleated news of an interview with presidential candidate Barack Obama in which he refused to say whether or not he wears boxers or briefs; a few days later, US published an online interview with Camille Paglia, in which she held forth on Howard Wolfson, Harold Ickes and Hillary Clinton's "60 Minutes" appearance.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2008/03/20/celebrity_tabloid/feed/ 52 The Fix http://www.salon.com/2007/01/10/wed_178/ http://www.salon.com/2007/01/10/wed_178/#comments Wed, 10 Jan 2007 14:30:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/entertainment/col/fix/2007/01/10/wed Morning Briefing:
The Trump letter; Rosie leaving? We kind of can't believe the Donald Trump/Rosie O'Donnell spat has gone on this long, but all the parties involved just keep adding fuel to the fire. After several newspapers reported yesterday that O'Donnell and Barbara Walters have been fighting backstage at "The View," Trump fired off a letter to O'Donnell (and numerous media outlets) taking advantage of the news. The letter outlines two different conversations Trump says he had with Walters in which she knocked her co-anchor. He writes: "To be exact, she said that 'working with her is like living in hell,' and, more pointedly, 'Donald, never get into the mud with pigs' and 'Don't worry, she won't be here for long.'" And indeed, on Wednesday morning, Fox 411 reports that insiders at the show say O'Donnell will likely leave the show when her contract ends in June, unless ABC execs intervene in a way Walters may not have foreseen. O'Donnell's presence has boosted the show's ratings and public profile immensely, and now some speculate that ABC might try to buy out Walters and hand over the show to O'Donnell entirely. (TMZ, Fox 411)

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2007/01/10/wed_178/feed/ 17 The Fix http://www.salon.com/2006/12/06/wed_174/ http://www.salon.com/2006/12/06/wed_174/#comments Wed, 06 Dec 2006 14:30:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/entertainment/col/fix/2006/12/06/wed Morning Briefing:
Movie prefigures actual life: It has been more than a year since the rumors surrounding their romance on the set of "The Break-Up" swirled into concrete fact, but now Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn have ended it, via the typical rep statement: "Jennifer and Vince mutually agreed to end their relationship but continue to be good friends today." It wasn't so long ago that Vaughn was threatening to sue over allegations he was being unfaithful and Aniston was assuring Oprah that they were still a happy couple, but after Aniston's recent visit to London, where Vaughn is filming "Fred Claus," things soured. Vaughn reportedly opted to spend Thanksgiving in the company of exotic dancers in Budapest, Hungary, rather than in Los Angeles with Aniston. (People, Page Six)

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