Spicuglia’s marriage didn’t last long; she says they were very different people. After he came back from a trip to Mexico, she says, there was a rift between them. So she moved from their home in Santa Maria, California, to go to college at the University of California at Berkeley. Up until then, their parenting responsibilities had been quite equal, she says. Oscar lived with her, but her ex was always involved and had even traveled for several months in Mexico with Oscar. So when she moved to Berkeley, it didn’t faze her to make a verbal agreement that Oscar would stay in Santa Maria with his father and his father’s family until Spicuglia secured family housing.

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