Jimmy Carter

Pols, guns and androgyny

A speed-of-light cultural flyover covering McCain, Koresh, guns, Hillary, "G.I. Blues," a heartfelt appeal to the Winslet Brigade, "Star Trek" and, well, you get the idea.

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Although Michigan’s chaotically open Republican primary has given Sen. John
McCain
a numerical victory, Gov. George W. Bush, the overwhelming favorite of
registered Republicans in that state, will surely be the party nominee in
this year’s general election.

McCain’s cult followers in the Northeastern media still look stunned from his
embarrassing loss to Bush last weekend in the South Carolina primary. What
fun it was to watch them squirm and pout as they tried by rote to blame
McCain’s defeat on “negative ads” or on Bush’s visit to Bob Jones University
(which few people have ever heard of and even fewer care about). Bush
triumphed because he got his ass in gear after flubbing New Hampshire and
because South Carolina Republicans fought back Trojan Horse Democrats trying
to sabotage Bush by voting for McCain — a guerrilla strategy that worked
against Bush in Michigan.

Vice President Al Gore, unfortunately the likely Democratic nominee (I’m a Bradley supporter), would wipe the floor with McCain in the general election on matters of both content and form. Try to imagine those two head to head, or rather head to hip! McCain — surprise, surprise — is only 5-feet-7-inches tall, but thanks to the sleight of hand of liberal picture editors, he is constantly shown in heroic photo angles from below. Like it or not, with few exceptions (e.g., Jimmy Carter) the taller presidential candidate always wins.

There’s a primitivistic sorting device going on in most searches for leaders — which is why women have so rarely gained the topmost post in modern democracies. After a slow start, Gore is outgunning Bradley on the road in sheer vitality level, and Bush, an inarticulate lightweight, has come on like gangbusters. It’s brute raw energy that won the presidency for the relatively unknown Gov. Bill Clinton in 1992.

Political reporters keep doggedly judging candidates by their skill in stagy debates, but the electorate is sick and tired of glib Ivy Leaguers who parse every word. Clinton stormed onto the national stage like a barb-tufted Arkansas boar but degenerated over time into a celebrity schmoozer and indolent diddler of big-boobed creampuffs.

McCain’s nastiness nicely surfaced in his concession speech last weekend — forcing his nerdy liberal flacks (who would vote Democratic this fall even if the nominee is Attila the Hun) to tsk-tsk nervously. Hey, wake up and smell the axle grease: This guy was always a jerk! The real victim of Bush’s South Carolina sweep was the credibility of the inside-the-Beltway press corps, who blushingly giggled and sighed their way through McCain’s factitious ascent. What a wok of genderless wet noodles they are!

My long suspicion of McCain turned into utter disdain during those stomach-churning tales of teenagers weeping or being alleged to weep because Bush’s bully boys (terror by telephone!) had maligned McCain’s character and record. This barrel of unctuous schmaltz, straight out of the “Sally Jesse Raphael Show,” was swallowed by the media in one big burp.

Thanks to Rush Limbaugh for replaying an exchange on Chris Matthews’ CNBC show “Hardball” when McCain, facing a Clemson University audience three weeks ago, was flushed out of his usual slippery doubletalk about abortion. McCain admitted he believes Roe vs. Wade should be overturned on constitutional grounds and returned to the states for judgment; then he declared he would want the states to declare abortion completely illegal. As a pro-choice member of Planned Parenthood, I condemn the liberal media’s censoring of this vital detail about McCain’s reactionary views.

McCain’s use in campaign events of large onstage posters of himself as a young Navy flier is inappropriate and propagandistic. His experience as a POW, however admirable, is irrelevant to his suitability for high political office. (It was equally objectionable when the feisty Lt. Col. Oliver North wore his Marines uniform to testify before Congress during the 1987 Iran-Contra hearings.) The presidency requires managerial and administrative skill — exactly what McCain, the choleric, megalomaniacal loner, has never excelled at in his 17 years as a senator.

Furthermore, McCain’s longstanding open-door policy with reporters is a sign not of candor but of weakness and even neurosis. It suggests a craving for distraction to avoid being alone with one’s thoughts. Those with a strong sense of self and a rich inner life (like the often too-Olympian Bradley) need privacy and know how to draw lines. McCain’s compulsive, seductive schmoozing resembles the sociopathic conference-hustling of the academic elite, who are most themselves when sashaying their whimsical way through shallow, boondoggling panel events.

Many Salon readers have sent support of my anti-McCain position. For example, M. Bateman says:

Thank you for telling the truth about John McCain. To hear the media tell it, John McCain is a family-values moderate with a squeaky clean financial past. Nothing could be further from the truth. He has the same voting record as Jesse Helms, yet his fans in the press, many of whom despise Jesse Helms, shower praise on McCain and portray him as a “moderate.”

It is time somebody told the public who John McCain is. He cheated on his first wife with a string of strippers, he was up to his eyeballs in the Keating Five debacle, and he has consistently voted to help the polluters. The mainstream news media will not tell the public who John McCain is.

A reader signing herself Judy declares:

I’m in agreement with your assessment of John McCain. I live in Phoenix, so I’ve been able to see this guy’s bag of tricks for a few years, going back to the Charles Keating/Lincoln Thrift debacle through the spin control on his wife’s theft of mood-altering drugs from her own charitable organization, and let’s not forget his notorious temperament. I, for one, am definitely uncomfortable with the idea of him having his finger on the button.

Yes, Judy, I too am nervous about the hair-trigger McCain in charge of our military — and not because of his Vietnam traumas. I suspect that McCain’s psychological turmoil started long before in his subordination to an autocratic military father, from whom he got as big a jump-start in life as did George W. Bush from his own father. (Note how we’ve heard more about Bush’s C average at Yale than about McCain’s graduation near the bottom of his class at the Naval Academy.)

C.C. Karr writes from Kirkwood, Mo.:

Isn’t it odd that McCain will try to achieve the presidency by stroking his political experience as a loser (prisoner in an un-won war) vs. Eisenhower, a victor as the Allied supreme commander in World War II, who told his GOP lackeys that he would never appear in a military uniform again, practically underplaying his military experience. Hmmm.

Exactly. McCain’s coercive evocation of a glorious military past covers up his lack of genuine achievement in Washington. A disabled veteran and retired major, asking that his identity be concealed out of fear of “retaliation,” writes the following:

I couldn’t agree with you more on the sanctimonious senator from Arizona (I moved here last year from New Jersey). He is more than a Clinton-clone faker. John Sidney McCain is not the war hero he advertises himself as.

Please check Page 47 of U.S. News & World Report for May 14, 1973. In his own words, McCain (apparently prior to getting “political ambitions”) reveals that on the fourth day of his captivity he said: “OK, I’ll give you [his North Vietnamese jailers] military information if you will take me to the hospital.”

There were more than a few POWs who were brutally tortured for four years and still revealed only “name, rank and serial number.” Also, McCain appeared upon release to be much heavier in weight than his fellow prisoners. I wonder why?

Yes, he’s “creepy” all right. Especially that weird “laugh” that makes my skin crawl. If any major media ever did a real investigation into his conduct during those five and half years, John Boy’s “hero” image might be permanently punctured. I wasn’t a flier, but I did serve part of three years in combat with the U.S. Army on the ground in Vietnam. And I know many veterans and POW-MIA family members who simply loathe McCain. Apparently with good reason.

James Kelm adds this interesting point of view:

I, too, have been getting a spooky feeling while watching John McCain’s appearances over the past year. During his tantrum of a concession speech the other night, I suddenly caught myself thinking of Shakespeare’s “Richard III,” specifically Ian McKellan’s performance in the recent movie adaptation. I can’t get the image out of my head.

Joy Loth seconds my unease with McCain (which I attributed to “intuition”): “My intuition concerning McCain has to do with his face, which reminds me of a papier-mbchi mask. His eyes seem embedded behind it.” However, Mike Davis sends me a scathing message from Ontario, Calif., titled “Intuition is no substitute for reason”:

Considering your evocation of intuition as a legitimate basis to reject a candidate outright, where, might I ask, was this penetrating instinct when you voted not just once but twice for the man you now concede to be an embarrassment to the institution of the presidency? Maybe your intuition is in need of recalibration, or perhaps Laura Schlessinger was right when she so aptly pointed out that emotions fail us because they have no I.Q.

As for me, I’ll opt for logo-centric rationality every time. It served me well in my early appraisal of Mr. Clinton as a facile obfuscator, as I suspect it has done in my support for the man toward whom you have expressed such an animus. Given that you are 0 for 2, perhaps you might consider a change-up this time around.

Touchi, Mr. Davis! While not an early Bill Clinton fan, I did indeed hope, after his first presidential nomination in 1992, that he would bring the idealism of my baby-boom generation to fruition. However, my very positive article on him for the San Francisco Examiner in 1992 (commissioned by David Talbot before he co-founded Salon) raised questions about whether he would be able to govern successfully. By the 1996 election, I had few illusions left, but there was no chance that I would vote for the robotic, saturnine Sen. Bob Dole, who showed few signs of consciousness of the contemporary world.

Prof. Michael Baranowski, writing from the University of Evansville in Indiana, asks my opinion of Alan Keyes, who he thinks is “the best speaker of the bunch” in the current presidential sweepstakes. Keyes is, in his view, “perhaps one of the few candidates who may actually have a core belief other than political survival (which is clearly not all that important to him — or to Gary Bauer, for that matter).” As an epigraph Prof. Baranowski adds an amusing aphorism from Napoleon Bonaparte, which says a lot about current American politics: “Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by incompetence.”

Amardeep Singh in Durham, N.C., also asks about Keyes. Describing himself as “basically a pro-choice, queer-friendly lefty who disagrees with his entire program,” Singh says that he at first was “simply interested to see an African-American man in the Republican race, bringing in fringe conservative votes with his mad loquaciousness.”

Keyes’ revelation at the Feb. 15 CNN-sponsored debate that he’s Catholic “makes him even more exotic, since African-American religion is usually so strongly marked as Baptist.” Singh wonders if this doesn’t make Keyes in effect “Italian” — that is to say, “dangerously loquacious, passionate and massively in excess of the parched Protestant landscape of the 2000 elections”: “Keyes is weird, fringy, and often loony, but at least he’s not in denial.”

My judgment about Alan Keyes somewhat parallels what I’ve said about John McCain: It’s very dangerous to raise loners to the presidency, which requires complexities of teamwork, persuasion, consensus-building and compromise. Keyes is obviously highly intelligent and endlessly energetic. He has all the bratty baby-boom Harvard College articulateness that the back-slapping, Secret Society, old-style “white shoe” Yalie George W. Bush lacks.

But like Steve Forbes, Keyes has spent far too little time thinking about the president’s job as an administrator or commander in chief. Keyes seems to be running for chairman of the campus debate team. His often snide and disruptive behavior at the CNN event also won him no points with me. Keyes would make an outstanding college teacher or host of an ideas-and-issues TV talk show, but I fail to see that he has a shred of political talent. And his escalating charges of racism against the press and electorate are simply cheap hysteria.

In the three weeks since my last column, Hillary Rodham Clinton has been up hill and down dale, beating the bushes in upstate New York to try to convince someone somewhere that she is a woman of substance rather than a raisin-eyed, carrot-nosed, twig-armed, straw-stuffed mannequin trundled in on a go-cart by the mentally bereft powerbrokers of the state Democratic Party.

It’s been a diverting few months for us charter members of Hillary Watch, but I couldn’t be bothered to turn the TV on for her poorly scheduled and overlong Feb. 6 announcement extravaganza: There are far better things to do with two hours on a Sunday afternoon. Typical of Hillary’s gang-that-couldn’t-shoot-straight campaign, the big news that trickled out of that cumbersome event was: the playing of a masturbatory Billy Joel song beforehand; the castrated silence of the onstage president; the lopping of the telltale Clinton name off the Hillary banner; and the flaunting of salads and omelettes during the sugar-on-sugar video.

Those eggs hit the fan two days later as Hillary and her aides managed to forget to tip the waitress in a diner in Albumen — sorry, Albion, N.Y., where the male owner comped the first lady her two caloric plates in a row of scrambled eggs and home fries. Big deal, one might have said, had Hillary or her campaign staff quickly rectified the oversight.

But when a reporter asked about it a day later, Hillary’s first impulse as always was to stonewall, calling it a “wild story.” Deny, deny, deny: Here in nuce — or should we say in ovo — is how this country got dragged into the impeachment crisis. It was Hillary’s refusal to settle with Paula Jones, as well as the defamatory attacks on Jones and other complaining women that Hillary countenanced, that led to the unearthing of Monica Lewinsky in the multi-volume Clinton Casanova Chronicles.

Ten days later, after rising publicity and a conservative Web-driven stunt producing a flood of dollar bills from around the country for the stiffed waitress, Hillary’s spokesman announced that a $100 savings bond was in the mail for the waitress’s son. The whole episode was a classic Marie Antoinette Moment: Hillary managed to show that far from being the champion of working women as she claims, she is so used to being treated like royalty that she is now smugly removed from practical reality.

R. Rouff writes to protest my “monotonous criticisms” of Hillary, which “neglect the fact that while Bill was governor of Arkansas, he and Hillary had a solid record of championing progressive governmental initiatives, this in a state that was for many years poverty stricken and, in terms of social services, grossly underserved.” Significantly, “Arkansas’ previous claim to fame before the Clintons was the racist reactionary Orville Faubus.”

The latter point is well taken, but I still need to be convinced that it’s Hillary rather than Bill, the native Arkansan, who should take credit for these achievements — about which Arkansans in general seem strangely silent, by the way. As for the monotony of my criticisms, I plead guilty — but it must be realized that I was an early Hillary fan whose laudatory statements and articles about her beginning in 1992 are on the record in the U.S. and the U.K.

I belong to a group much dwelled on of late in political commentary: the white, middle-aged, Democratic professional women whom Hillary by her own dishonest and manipulative behavior (and not through the occult intervention of any right-wing conspiracy) has managed to totally alienate. More and more are speaking out now, but my changing views were clear in “Ice Queen, Drag Queen,” my April 1996 New Republic cover story that produced a squealing letter to the editor from Hillary’s smarmy show-biz chum, Linda Bloodworth-Thomason.

Joy Loth, already quoted above, remarks: “Hillary is the Forrest Gump of politics. Was she really at the rally for Martin Luther King? It seems she’s been there, done that, and is that whenever it suits her political purposes.” Joyce Hathaway writes from Alexandria, Va.:

I am always amazed at the tributes paid to Hillary for her work with children. She has subjected her own daughter to an awe-inspiringly dysfunctional family life. She and Bill subjected a very young Chelsea to questioning (grilling) at the dinner table and claimed that people, saying similar things about her father, were part of a vast conspiracy of liars.

All things considered, I think Hillary exhibits a total lack of understanding of what kids are all about. Why is this never mentioned?

I’m afraid I laughed uproariously at Fred Schreier’s mischievous sally:

I find it odd that in the eight years of the Clinton residency in the White House we have seldom if ever heard Chelsea speak. Is she a mute? Her father never shuts up — so maybe he is not the biological father.

Finally, to leave our Clinton cell for this week, an item in the New York Post’s Page Six reported that Westchester County Republicans have offered “a suggestion for what Bill and Hillary Clinton should call their new home in Chappaqua: Disgraceland.”

The exchange on gun control in my last column produced many fascinating responses. Crow Carter, who describes himself as a “professional handgun instructor with many female graduates,” applauds Tim Hartin’s letter for its description of “the irrational fear of weapons dubbed ‘hoplophobia’ by Jeff Cooper, known as the ‘Father of Modern Handgunning’ [from the Greek 'hoplon', meaning weapon or tool].” Carter supports my interpretation of the Second Amendment:

If one reads the Founders one cannot escape the realization that this amendment, second only to the First, which it protects, was placed where it is precisely to allow the people to take back their government should it fall into the hands of some future Hitlerian despot.

Meanwhile, Gunowners of America, the junkyard dogs of the Second Amendment, asks about your Democratic Party, “What part of ‘infringed’ don’t they understand?”

Bill King similarly declares:

I have thought for some time that this is a cultural issue. In the home I grew up in, the presence of a gun was quite normal. Many of my relatives were farmers, and killing animals for food was also normal. All of my cousins and I were introduced to hunting first as helpers in camp; then as drivers of game; and finally as hunters. We were taught what to do and learned the rules of the game.

A person from an urban background in which guns are only encountered along with a request to part with money can’t understand just how benign a gun is to me. I have several guns and have never understood why the controllers are concerned with how many guns a man owns. After all, most of the troops who conquered Germany only had one gun.

Tim Stinnett sends appreciation for my “defense of decent, law-abiding” gun-owners: “That guns in the hands of responsible citizens pose no measurable problem for public safety seems brutally sensible to me.” However, he questions my use of the word “loophole” for the way that a girlfriend of the Columbine High School mass murderers was able to purchase weapons for them at a gun show:

Private sellers, those who are not in the business of selling guns but wish to buy, sell or trade their own personal firearms, are not subject to federal and state laws regulating gun dealers, just as laws regulating automobile dealers do not apply to “Fred” when he sticks a “for sale” sign in the window of his Pontiac and parks it by the road. That Fred can sell his personally owned Pontiac without being subject to the same laws regulating a Pontiac dealer doesn’t make it a “loophole.” Regulating those engaged in business differently from individuals selling personal property is entirely reasonable and purely intentional.

As you may know, both Harris and Klebold initially attempted to purchase guns from a licensed gun dealer. He refused them because they were not of age. The girlfriend who purchased weapons at a gun show was of legal age to purchase rifles and shotguns from any licensed gun dealer. The seller asked for ID to prove she was at least 18. She would have been able to walk into any licensed gun dealer, pass a background check and purchase the same guns anywhere in Colorado or virtually every other state. Where is the “loophole”?

Thanks, Mr. Stinnett, for the correction. Although I was familiar with these facts, it’s clearly wrong to go on calling the problem a “loophole.” Surely something needs to be done, however, to tighten up procedures and streamline record-keeping so that guns can be kept out of the hands of psychotics while at the same time preserving the rights of responsible gun-owners. Self-regulation by the gun industry and private collectors is infinitely preferable to government intrusion by grandstanding liberal bureaucrats.

Don Baldwin, who describes himself as a National Rifle Association Life Member (“certified by them as a pistol and rifle instructor”) and is president of Democrats for the 2nd Amendment, confirms Tim Stinnett’s point:

The gun show “loophole” is not an intentional oversight in the law. It is an intentional limitation because the federal government has no authority to regulate private sales of firearms within the same state, when the seller is not a federally recognized gun dealer.

That being said, there is certainly room to create a situation in which the gun community can regulate itself. If the NICS “instant” background check system was made available in such a way that law enforcement agents could run voluntary checks for individuals at gun shows — and if sellers using that system were relieved of any liability if someone with a clean background committed a crime with the gun — then almost all gun sales at gun shows would be conducted using the NICS system. It would be a lot less of a ham-fisted approach than the White House suggestion, which is meant to kill gun shows.

My family and I are also members of PFLAG [Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays]. Here near Seattle we are presently running an experiment: offering NRA Refuse to be a Victim (and gun safety) classes for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered community.

I have the theory that the gun rights/gay rights intersection will be a powerful one, as both groups are taken for granted by the parties with which they are most closely affiliated: gays taken for granted by (my fellow) Democrats; gun owners taken for granted by the GOP.

A very promising political gambit, Mr. Baldwin! The establishments of the two major parties have gotten far too arrogant and complacent, and this is just the sort of thing that could shake them up.

An opposing point of view is taken by Salon reader Jukka Hohenthal in Uppsala, Sweden:

Comparing murder rates between the U.S. and my native country of Sweden is a frightening exercise. And it is not only gang and/or drug- related murders that are the difference. In Sweden, the law-abiding citizen will use his fists on his wife and her lover when catching them in the act, while the American law-abiding gun owner will shoot them. When the police arrive at the scene of the crime in Sweden, they will find people shouting at each other; in the U.S. they will need body bags.

How can you seriously claim that gun-ownership is no big problem? You are much more likely to use a gun if you have one, and since guns’ major function is to kill living beings, you are far more likely to kill someone when using it than you would by using your fists or some other blunt instrument. Or is your claim that the price for the odd father killing his daughter’s boyfriend, in the belief that he is a burglar, is worth paying for the security you say it gives in an emergency? Even in an emergency you are likely to be worse off if everyone has a gun than if no one has one.

These arguments are very compelling. However, what Europeans sometimes fail to fully realize is that the U.S. is enormous — the size of a continent, with many states bigger than European nations — and that our population lacks the ethnic and racial homogeneity of Scandinavia. Whatever its internal disputes, Sweden is historically much more of an extended family than is the U.S., with its massive history of immigration and its competitive minorities.

The American frontier is still open here — a spatial as well as cultural fact. Our people have a thousand forms and faces, and our quarrels and our creativity are in dynamic relation. American guns are the dark side of American genius. Our aggression overflows into violence but also empowers our brilliant entrepreneurship in technology as well as the vitality of our popular culture.

Yes, I must admit, in this country we are more concerned with the restless rights of the individual than with the claims to comfort of the majority. We prefer the adrenaline rush of the random to the consoling drowsiness of cradle-to-grave socialism. I apologize (as a worshipper of Sweden’s national treasure, Ingmar Bergman) if this seems too harsh!

Greg Jorgensen is Jukka Hohenthal’s ally in this deftly reasoned letter from Portland, Ore.:

I’m not a politically correct whiner, but I do think it’s time to abandon the cowboy mentality. With guns and ammunition so easily available, feeding into a culture fascinated by violence — even the fake violence of professional wrestling — we are bound to have a lot of crossfire.

Some of the anti-gun-control arguments are bogus. Here’s my take on a few of them:

1. “We need an armed population to protect ourselves from the government, and to limit the power of the police and the state.” This made sense in 1800, when the government was weak and didn’t control the town and state militias. Today, the police and the military have such superior weapons, and a practically unlimited supply of arms and ammo, that only a fanatic imagines winning a fight against even a small force of them. We already live in a police state, and no matter how many Glocks you own, they have lots more. The government has already demonstrated its willingness to use its superior force and weaponry, and it has done so without any serious organized resistance.

2. “The Second Amendment to the Constitution guarantees the right of anyone to keep and bear arms.” The bit about “a well regulated militia” is usually forgotten. Even someone with a public school history education should be able to figure out that the founding fathers didn’t imagine Uzis and AK-47s in every home. They didn’t imagine a police state, the federal income tax, the “war on drugs,” intervention in foreign wars, or much of anything else that is American life today. Over time we abandoned slavery and gave women the vote; we can amend the other parts of the Constitution as well.

3. Hunting. People who need to hunt for food, or want to hunt for sport, should have no problem restricting their gun collection to actual hunting weapons. In England, hunters belong to clubs, and the guns are kept at the club.

My reply to your well-honed points, Mr. Jorgensen, is threefold. First, the abolition of slavery and the granting of suffrage to women expanded civil liberties, while the most extreme programs of gun control would take constitutionally guaranteed liberties away.

Second, my reading of world history, ancient to modern, suggests that law and order can collapse virtually overnight in crisis situations, such as a severe climatological disturbance. This column has warned again and again that the financial markets and long-term investments and pensions will vanish in a poof of smoke if Mother Nature, like Atlas, shrugs. We will all be scrambling for survival again — and those with guns will be able to defend their family and property.

Third, the lessons of Waco are that even a liberal Democratic administration is capable of fascist acts and that a reasonably armed citizenry is the only recourse against government tyranny. I don’t own guns, but I feel more secure that others do.

My prior references to Waco have inspired protests from some readers. Jimmy A. Roberts-Miller, for example, declares:

While I agree with you on the scandalous (criminal!) nature of the government’s actions at Waco, I do have to take you to some task for your reference to David Koresh’s “ranch.” Not only were there some less than wholesome things going on there (deserving of investigation, though not immolation) but that was no more a “ranch” than those 10-acre “spreads” fancied by some yuppies where they keep a horse or two. My dad ran 1,500 acres of real ranch in the scrub brush country south of San Antonio; I know whereof I speak. Calling that place a ranch is both being a bit disingenuous and insulting to real ranch people.

A thousand apologies to ranchers everywhere! The 1956 film version of Edna Ferber’s “Giant,” which I saw when I was 9, burned into my mind forever the image of the heroic dirt-and-steer rancher (Rock Hudson) fighting off the greedy oil barons. In describing Koresh’s compound as a “ranch” (which it was before he acquired it), I was trying to convey the property’s physical look to Salon’s international readership, who haven’t seen the constant aerial images on TV.

James Ravenscroft objects to other matters in my analysis of Waco:

You describe the use of tanks at David Koresh’s compound as an outrageous example of government totalitarianism. Now, believe me, I’m familiar with the excesses of the federal government from Japanese internment in World War II to the use of soldiers as guinea pigs for radiation and biological testing.

The use of armored vehicles at Waco, though dramatic, was no more offensive to a free society than the use of helicopters or armed federal agents. People who have never worked for the government often presume a huge monolithic entity of limitless power and faceless, nameless automatons. The fact is that the federal government is composed of men and women who want to do their job and go home safely.

Four ATF agents were killed serving a lawful warrant, raising the stakes at Waco. Koresh and his followers were equipped with long rifles capable of penetrating body armor, helmets, car doors, aircraft fuselage and practically anything available to law enforcement. You can bet that nobody wanted to be that fifth victim, and yet FBI agents cannot simply go home. There is a job to do. Only tanks could move close to the compound safely. The tanks did not use the considerable firepower available to them. They knocked down the structure to allow everyone to escape had they wished to. And they did take gunfire in the process.

Law enforcement has taken on a more paramilitary look in the past few years. The scene of SWAT teams who are indistinguishable from soldiers with military equipment has been prompted by the increased firepower and organization of domestic criminal groups. I would remind people that if it were you going into a drug lab or cult compound or hostage barricade, you would want all the protection you could get.

My background is that I am an Army Reserve tank officer and Border Patrol agent. I have friends in every federal law enforcement agency. Two weeks ago, I sat in a Border Patrol expedition with steel mesh covering all of the glass to allow Mexicans to throw rocks at me. Last night, I sat in a Border Patrol expedition with bulletproof glass, prompted by a friend of mine being shot in the head while he sat in the same position I did on the U.S.-Mexico border. Yet I am still not allowed to carry a long rifle due to the risk of innocent casualties in Mexico. I think you would agree that I do my job out of patriotism, but I do not wish to die for my country. The body armor and handgun I’m supplied with can do only so much, and I can’t walk away from a dangerous situation that I’m expected to deal with. Your points about guns being inanimate objects incapable of committing their own evil is true of helicopters and tanks as well.

Thank you for your superb and inspiring letter, Mr. Ravenscroft. However, it is not the heroic men on the ground whom I blame for the grotesque 51-day siege and disastrous attack on the Koresh compound, which resulted in the fiery death of more than 70 adults and children, but those in charge, from the clumsy, egotistical regional coordinators all the way up to the Department of Justice, attorney general and White House. (The latter’s command structure at the time remains murky but may have included the first lady and her confidant, the suicidal Vincent Foster.)

David Koresh was a fruitcake, but his remote encampment, however heavily armed, offered little immediate danger to the community or nation. The needless and sometimes manic escalation of that confrontation into a full-scale military assault, where tanks were used against American citizens, was one of the most shocking uses of arbitrary government power in the history of modern democracies.

Those four dead ATF agents were martyrs to administrative stupidity and incompetence, but their lives were not redeemed by the barbaric slaughter of Koresh followers that followed. And the liberal media’s failure to hold the new Clinton administration accountable led directly to the death of 168 innocent citizens in Timothy McVeigh’s moronic revenge bombing two years later at the Federal Building in Oklahoma City.

Two readers write to protest the assertion about Kimberly Bergalis in a letter from a Salon reader in my last column. Ward Chanley declares, “There’s no conclusive evidence that Bergalis contracted HIV from her dentist.” He goes on to cite a Web summary of a 1996 report in the Annals of Internal Medicine:

Centers for Disease Control scientists say that they may never be able to explain how and if Florida dentist David Acer transmitted HIV to six patients, including Kimberly Bergalis. “The science doesn’t provide us with a conclusive answer [on Acer], but it does reiterate the overall safety for both healthcare provider and patients,” says Dr. Donald Marianos, a CDC researcher.

A reader in Hawaii who asks not to be identified recalls admittedly obscure follow-up reportage containing the revelation that Bergalis suffered from a different strain of HIV than did her dentist, that she was not a virgin as she claimed, and that she had been a drug-user: “She scammed the nation, including in her congressional testimony.”

Robert Ames asks to clarify a reader’s reference to a London train imbroglio involving Prime Minister Tony Blair’s wife Cherie:

Cherie didn’t have the correct change for the ticket-vending machine at the station she was boarding, but it was at one of the more outlying tube stations where there’s no gate to get past. Hence, she did not “sneak” on; she just walked on like everyone else, intending to purchase a ticket at the station where she got off.

But they now have a policy of fining anyone that boards the Underground without a ticket, regardless of intent. Ms. Blair was unaware of this policy until she went to pay her fare after her ride. So please don’t let people think that she stooped to sneaking onto the Underground.

Thanks, Mr. Ames. A veritable torrent of material has arrived on the sad state of contemporary American education. I hope to quote it all in time, but meanwhile here’s a taste. A reader signing herself Sherry declares:

Being a high school English teacher, I just finished completing a three-year survey to evaluate the quality of my career preparation for the school of education at University of Wisconsin at Madison. It was both cathartic and infuriating.

Questioning and discussion methods are given scant importance in the face of popular, feel-good “theories” of education. Writing quality is pushed aside in the name of “process over product” teaching; indeed, I was never taught how to evaluate for quality in written material.

I learned theories at UW-Madison, not good teaching techniques. I was only taught to value “my emerging style.” Subjectivity ruled the day.

I agree with Leon Botstein, president of Bard College, that schools of education, as presently constructed, are virtually worthless as practical preparation for a teaching career. The teachers unions and education bureaucrats, who have sold their souls to the limousine liberals of the Democratic Party, have poured choking oceans of p.c. mush into the public school system.

And now for a blazing manifesto from Alexis Kirschbaum:

As a recent graduate of Smith College, I felt that I had a personal stake in your comments about the discontinuance of Smith College’s esteemed Art History survey course. The move by the college’s administration and faculty points to a pervading academic laziness within certain camps of academics brought about by a fear of becoming culturally outmoded. Although I did receive a thorough classical education at Smith College from brilliant and engaged professors, the institution is unfortunately catering more and more to politically correct platitudes.

I could never determine if the student body, who experimented illimitably with their own sexual orientation but came to the classroom and dinner table uninterested in any topic that even remotely suggested controversy or erudition, would be considered a cause or an effect of this trend among the administration. As you might well guess, I was considered pretentious in this climate, but in fact, the hypocrisy of the women with blue hair, two girl friends, and an entourage chanting “free the oppressed” over a candle- lit dinner table, four-course meal and bon bons first made me retch and then bored me to tears.

I wasn’t pretentious, just dissatisfied with the company. I would stare at them blankly as they “flouted the establishment” and thought to myself that my coevals have lost sight of the place of true revolution and blur the lines abysmally by failing to recognize the tradition of revolution in art. The confusing of political fact with the delicate knowledge afforded by the arts and the constant overshadowing of artistic inventiveness by ideas of purportedly political advancement left me socially beleaguered and intellectually jaded.

I enrolled in what I then conceived of as a sacred institution, only to become removed from the precious and ensconced in the mundane. So what I want to ask you is, as a professor, have you felt similar tremors in liberal arts institutions? Another thing: the “real world” is even more blasi toward what I consider invaluable, so what in the hell can I do with an English degree in today’s world?

Wow! What a devastating report from what used to be the crown jewel of the elite Seven Sisters colleges. Smith’s slide toward banality is the end result of a quarter century of anxiously p.c. feminist politics in the Lesbian La-La Land of northwestern rural Massachusetts. You of course confirm everything I have been railing about in American education since I arrived on the scene a decade ago.

All I can say to you and to all like-minded independent thinkers is that the best education is self-education. Timorous or trendy teachers can’t stop you from plunging into the treasure house of the world’s great books and art objects. Investigate, assimilate and then propagate your own ideas into the general culture. An intellectually awakened life is possible in any job. Don’t be limited by your environment: It’s just pasteboard walls, easily pierced by the spiritual eye.

And now for our usual pop culture finale. I was gratified by the volume and quality of support I received from fellow Italian-Americans after my latest attack on HBO’s loathsomely over-praised series, “The Sopranos.” I want to use it all but must postpone that to a future column.

Hayley Mills fans continue to respond to my celebration of “The Parent Trap.” For example, George M. Hook declares:

Much thanks for the praise to Hayley Mills. As well as “Pollyanna” (a true Disney classic that evokes a dreamy Americana better than any Norman Rockwell painting), one of Hayley’s great moments was portraying a frisky, rebellious Catholic schoolgirl in “The Trouble With Angels.” In my early youth, I adored Hayley Mills — an English girl with style and sass.

Coby Lubliner writes from Berkeley, Calif.:

In your discussion of the 1961 film “The Parent Trap” you neglected to mention its being based on a classic novel, “Das doppelte Lottchen,” by Erich Kdstner, or the fact that there have been several other movies based on it, including the lovely British “Twice Upon a Time” (1953). I have, of course, the advantage of having been a schoolboy in Germany, where Kdstner’s work is (was?) a staple. But if you just look him up on imdb.com, you will see the huge number of movies, including Hollywood-made ones, that his work has inspired over the years.

Thanks for the tip, Mr. Lubliner, which is supported by Albert S. Zeller’s intriguing note:

I must take serious exception to your characterization of Hayley Mills as “androgynous.” In 1964 my sister dragged me to a showing of “The Parent Trap” largely because she is a big fan of Erich Kaestner, the author of the original story. Kaestner was probably the leading author of children’s books in the German language, and we were exposed to a lot of his work in the old country (Switzerland).

I have to admit, being only a few years older than Miss Mills, of developing a big crush on her and often fantasized about being in bed between her two incarnations as the identical twins. While Hayley was only pubescent at the time and thus girlish instead of womanly, this is not the same as being androgynous.

A striking distinction, Mr. Zeller! It could well be that my career of cataloging sexual personae has made me too amorous of the androgynous. In defense, I would say that Hayley Mills’ androgyny can be clearly seen if stills from “The Parent Trap” are juxtaposed with photos of early Mick Jagger, whom she in some sense prefigured as a mercurial symbol of the high-energy 1960s. Rock on, Hayley!

Only one reader, oddly enough, sprang to the defense of Helen Hunt, whom I cattily maligned for her grand theft of Kate Winslet’s Oscar. Jshannes Birgir Jensson writes from Reykjavmk, Iceland first to defend gun control (“Don’t know about you guys, but the best weapon in natural catastrophes could be a shovel”); then to zing Julia Roberts (“Has she ever played anything? She’s stayed in the same character forever”); and finally to applaud Hunt: “I never liked her until I saw her in the TV show ‘Mad About You’. She is dead good there. Great show.”

I’m not sure, Mr. Jennson, if Hunt’s Nordic persona endears her more to Reykjavmk than to Little Italy — but on the other hand, I’ve always loved Nico, the Teutonic blonde Amazon of “La Dolce Vita” and the Velvet Underground. Benjamin Scuglia, I note, has my Italian take on things:

Helen Hunt gave a competent performance in “As Good As It Gets,” one no different from her television work. Kate Winslet did not merely transcend a banal script, she took her performance one step further, embodying “Titanic’s” Young Rose with layers of sensuality, wit, sadness. Rose was quite different from the women Winslet brought to life in “Heavenly Creatures,” “Holy Smoke” and “Hideous Kinky,” and yet they are all real women, complex and beautiful.

David Brown supports my “right-on appraisal of the talents of the wonderful Kate Winslet” and goes on to protest: “Why that wimpy drip Leonardo DiCaprio emerged as the mega star after ‘Titanic’ instead of Kate is beyond me. She’s beautiful, funny, sexy, loaded with talent, gives good interviews, and seems to be a relatively ‘normal’ gal.” Shawn A. Cullen also goes to the mat for Winslet:

All hail Kate! She is truly a real woman and a superb actress. Put me on the list as one of your “baying, frothing hounds” eager to haunt wimpy Helen Hunt to the grave and pull that ill-deserved Oscar from her pale, cadaver-like hands!

The Winslet Brigade is taking arms across the globe. I issue an appeal to my fellow warriors: Whoever first sees Helen Hunt in public, whether at the grocery store or on the red carpet, please sing out, “Give back Kate Winslet’s Oscar!”

Finally, my top pop moments of the past three weeks. First, Juliet Prowse in a glittery, silver-ribbon-over-nude-fabric dress doing a sensationally provocative, long-legged dance in a nightclub in the American Movie Channel’s broadcast of “G.I. Blues” (1960), starring Elvis Presley. (Boy, does that woman have great extension in her wrists and ankles — unusually balletic for hoochie-koochie choreography.)

Second, Jeri Ryan (a favorite also of critic James Wolcott) as the brusque, blond, half-Borg Seven of Nine on just about any episode of the nightly repeats of “Star Trek: Voyager” being aired in Philadelphia by the UPN affiliate, WPSG. Few entities of heaven or Earth can reduce me to a helpless puddle, but the crisply cool, very pneumatic but divinely svelte Ryan (another trained dancer) sure is one!

Camille Paglia is the University Professor of Humanities and Media Studies at the University of the Arts in Philadelphia. Her most recent book is "Break, Blow, Burn: Camille Paglia Reads Forty-Three of the World's Best Poems." You can write her at this address.

Can Richard Holbrooke save American diplomacy?

Probably not, but Madeleine Albright has reason to worry: When the right wing gives up and confirms the telegenic diplomat as U.N. ambassador, his next job could be secretary of state.

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Diplomats are people who are sent abroad to lie for their country. The joy of being U.S. ambassador to the United Nations is that instead of lying in some far-off foreign field, you can lie at home, and make the TV chat shows as well. We can be sure that Richard Holbrooke will take full advantage of any such opportunity if the Senate confirms his position this week after a year-long holdup by Sen. Jesse Helms, chair of the Foreign Relations Committee.

We can also be sure that Secretary of State Madeleine Albright knows it too, since that is how she got her present position. The U.N. ambassadorship is a cabinet post with a highly visible domestic presence. Secretaries of state often have problems with U.N. ambassadors cleverer and more telegenic than themselves. James Baker ditched the highly effective and admired Tom Pickering for that reason, and he was not even in the cabinet. Albright consistently tried to dampen Bill Richardson’s enthusiasm for television appearances while he was U.N. ambassador, officially to make sure that the message was coherent — but mostly for fear of being overshadowed.

In the case of Holbrooke, Albright’s fears are soundly based. He is simply several leagues above her — and a publicity hound to boot. Leaving a well-compensated job with Credit Suisse to become a civil servant implies some considerable degree of ambition: Albright will be lucky to see out the rest of the Clinton term. There is every expectation that Holbrooke will follow in her footsteps, especially if Gore is elected.

It has been embarrassing for Washington not to have had an ambassador for such an eventful year. It’s likely that Kosovo rescued Holbrooke’s nomination from the jaws of Jesse Helms’ opposition. There is, of course, absolutely no evidence that just because Madeleine Albright has a very chummy relationship with Helms, she was in any way involved in the long delay in Holbrooke’s nomination. But one cannot help suspecting that the old lines

“Thou shalt not kill
But needst not strive
Officiously to keep alive,”

may have run through her mind occasionally about his nomination and confirmation.

Most diplomats represent their government’s policy; they do not shape it. However, Holbrooke’s 1995 Dayton experience promoted him into the statesman class, a considerable cut above the suave messenger-boy role so many ambassadors played in the past. Many of the diplomats canvassed at the United Nations have no doubt that he can be very effective when the full faith and credit of U.S. foreign policy is behind him — but in recent years that is about as often as a transit of Venus.

Ambassador Sir John Weston, who returned to Britain just after Holbrooke’s nomination was announced, described him as “one of the life forces in the world of the foreign-policy professionals.” However, he added: “It’s important to listen to what others have to say, and be seen to do so. Very often that is the secret of getting things done in the United Nations. I have no doubt that a person of Dick Holbrooke’s political experience will understand that very quickly,” he said, a diplomatically oblique way of casting doubt on Holbrooke’s capacity to learn to listen.

Others are more explicit in their doubts about both his ethics and effectiveness. For example, in his negotiations in 1997 as special representative on Cyprus, he wanted the European Union to admit Turkey — and did not seem to understand that Europe would not admit a country that had the death penalty, imprisoned journalists and bombed Kurds, just because it suited Washington’s Middle-East policy.

Even before then, as President Jimmy Carter’s assistant secretary of state for Asia and the Pacific, he loyally smoothed over the diplomatic ruffles as South Korean troops officially under U.S. command massacred thousands of protestors in the city of Kwangju in 1980. And while he would likely be a tough negotiator now with the Indonesians, in Carter’s good old days he covered for Suharto as the Indonesian military killed a far higher proportion of the East Timorese population than Milosevic did of the Kosovars.

While one can excuse his behavior in the Carter administration as simply carrying out orders, in the Balkans he helped shape policy. One can hardly regard his negotiations with Slobodan Milosevic as a success, either. Convinced that the Serbian leader was a man he could do business with, Holbrooke produced the awesome mutation of the Dayton settlement that allowed the Serbs to keep their ethnically cleansed Bosnian gains, and even to regain some territory they had just lost to the Bosnian and Croatian armies. And as for Kosovo, he would be better off deleting from his risumi any mention of the deal he brokered with Milosevic last October, although to be fair, it was far from clear just how big a stick he had behind his back at the time.

Albright can take some considerable comfort from the fact that her rival will be in a very hot seat. He will arrive at the United Nations just as the world body is charged with building peace in the desert that is now Kosovo. Another U.N. headache is the chronic controversy over his nation’s back dues. Parallel to Holbrooke’s confirmation hearings, the Senate passed a bill to pay U.N. appropriations that unilaterally wipes out a third of the past-due amount, and decided that future payments be reduced without negotiations with other U.N. members — members who have made it plain that they will not accept any such deal.

The only consolation is that as well as the usual loony-tunes riders the Senate added — for example, that the United Nations promises not to take over the U.S. in the near future — Rep. Chris Smith in the House will add his now-traditional amendment cutting international family-planning funds. That means Clinton will veto the bill, which could put the United States over two years in arrears in its U.N. dues. So Holbrooke could find himself in the embarrassing position of having a veto in the Security Council, but no vote in the General Assembly — and no money to pay for the U.N. role in Kosovo that is essential to boost Al Gore’s candidacy which may hinge on his ability to play vice-victorious warlord.

While Helms has been converted to support Holbrooke, Sen. Charles Grassley of Iowa has been threatening to hold up his appointment unless the State Department lifts the suspension of Linda Shenwick. You might ask, Linda who? She is a perfect symbol of why even America’s best friends roll their eyes when Congress gets involved in foreign policy. Shenwick for many years has been the eyes, ears, and oh-so-loud mouth, of Jesse Helms at the United Nations.

She is less a whistleblower, as Grassley thinks, and more a stoolie for the senatorial right. Whatever policy the White House, the State Department or the ambassador had, Shenwick only took instructions from Helms and his chum, former Sen. Larry Pressler. They let it be known that anyone who interfered with her tenure in any way would find it very difficult to take up an ambassadorship (or, by implication, secretary of stateship).

Her injection of congressional ignorance and arrogance into diplomacy had even America’s best friends complaining about her tirades, and left her with no friends in the U.S. mission either. Flushed with the success of Kosovo, someone in State finally had the courage to suspend her June 18 for “insubordination,” apparently a reference to her continual contacts with congressional aides behind the back of the mission.

So will tough-guy Holbrooke stand up to Congress, get the money for the United Nations and rescue American diplomacy from its present mess? Not if the grovel-fest of his confirmation hearings is any indication. Tamed and tutored by the year-long wait to get this far, he repeated and affirmed every fatuous prejudice of his know-nothing senatorial inquisitors. Of course he is a diplomat, with political ambitions, so it is not impossible that he may not have been sincere in his sentiments.

He will now have to choose. If he is going to be effective at the United Nations, the other ambassadors there will expect him to be more closely tied to reality than to the congressmen who think that making the Statue of Liberty a UNESCO world heritage site is a U.N. land-grab. If he is not, then we can expect more fiascoes like Rwanda and the Balkans where firm, multilateral action at the beginning would have prevented huge bloodshed for the locals and heavy financial costs for the United States later.

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Ian Williams' book "Rum: A Social and Sociable History of the Real Spirit of 1776" is due in late August 2005 from Nation Books. His last book was "Deserter: Bush's War on Military Families, Veterans and His Own Past."

Disloyalty of Democrats

It's hardly a surprise that China was able to steal our nuclear secrets, given the kind of people the Democrats have put in charge.

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Just as the government prepared to release the Cox Report, which would reveal that the communist regime in Beijing had stolen design information for every advanced nuclear weapon in the U.S. arsenal, the Democratic National Committee announced the appointment of a longtime communist sympathizer, Carlottia Scott, as its new “political issues director.” Scott is a former mistress of the Marxist dictator of Grenada, and was an ardent supporter of America’s communist adversaries during the Cold War.

The timing of the DNC’s announcement was appropriately ironic, in that this appointment tells us volumes about the roots of the nation’s growing security crisis: the dramatic erosion of America’s military credibility in an ill-conceived war, and the theft of its nuclear arsenal by an adversary the administration claims is a “strategic partner.”

Carlottia Scott was for many years the chief aide to Rep. Ron Dellums, a Berkeley radical who, with the approval of the congressional Democratic leadership, was appointed first to the Armed Services Committee and then to the chair of its subcommittee on military installations, which oversees U.S. bases worldwide. The Democratic leadership apparently saw no problem in the fact that every year during the Cold War with the Soviet empire, Dellums introduced a “peace” budget, which would have required a 75 percent reduction in government spending on America’s defenses.

Nor did they have any problem with Dellums’ performance during the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan, which occurred on Jimmy Carter’s watch. As Soviet troops poured across the Afghan border and President Carter called for the resumption of the military draft, Dellums told a “Stop the Draft” rally in Berkeley that “Washington, D.C., is a very evil place,” and the only “arc” of a crisis that he could see was “the one that runs between the basement of the West Wing of the White House and the war room of the Pentagon.”

Among the government documents retrieved when the Marxist government in Grenada was overthrown were the love letters of Dellums’ chief aide, Carlottia Scott, to its anti-American dictator, Maurice Bishop. Scott wrote: “Ron has become truly committed to Grenada … He’s really hooked on you and Grenada and doesn’t want anything to happen to building the Revolution and making it strong … The only other person that I know of that he expresses such admiration for is Fidel.”

Bishop and Fidel were not the only communists in the Americas favored by Dellums and his aide. About the time these letters were retrieved, Dellums was opening his congressional office to a Cuban intelligence agent who proceeded to organize support committees in the United States for the communist guerrilla movement in El Salvador. Yet, when Dellums’ retired, the Clinton administration’s secretary of defense, William S. Cohen, bestowed on him the highest civilian honor the Pentagon can award “for service to his country.”

After Dellums’ retirement, Scott became the chief of staff to his successor, Berkeley leftist Barbara Lee. In the 1970s Lee was a confidential aide to Huey Newton, the “minister of defense” of the Black Panther Party, whose calling card was the “Red Book” of Chinese dictator Mao Zedong. Among the documents liberated from Grenada were minutes from a politburo meeting attended by Lee and the Marxist junta. The minutes state that “Barbara Lee is here presently and has brought with her a report on the international airport done by Ron Dellums. They have requested that we look at the document and suggest any changes we deem necessary. They will be willing to make the changes.”

The airport in question was being built by the Cuban military and, according to U.S. intelligence sources, was designed to accommodate Soviet warplanes. The Reagan administration regarded the airport project as part of a larger Soviet plan to establish a military base in this hemisphere, and administration officials invoked its construction as a national security justification for the invasion that followed.

In an effort to forestall such an invasion, and as head of the military installations subcommittee of the House, Dellums made a “fact-finding” trip to Grenada and issued his own report on the airport, concluding that it was being built “for the purpose of economic development, and is not for military use.” Dellums’ report also made the political claim that the Reagan administration’s concerns about national security in regard to the airport were “absurd, patronizing and totally unwarranted.” In other words, the captured minutes of the politburo meeting show that Dellums and his aide Lee colluded with the dictator of a communist state to cover up the fact that the Soviet Union was building a military airport that posed a threat to the security of the United States.

Despite this betrayal, and with the approval of her Democratic colleagues in the House, Lee is now a member of the House International Relations Committee, which deals with issues affecting the security of the United States. With equal disregard for national security, the DNC has now made Scott — an abettor of these treacherous schemes — its political issues director. When I asked a leading Democratic political strategist, who is not a leftist, how it was possible that the leaders of the Democratic Party could appoint someone like Scott to such a post at such a time, he replied: “You have to understand that in the 1960s these people (the party’s leaders) were chanting, “Ho, Ho, Ho Chi Minh, the NLF Is Gonna Win!”

The left-wing culture that thus pervades both the Democratic Party and the Clinton administration is at the heart of the current national security crisis. These are people who never conceded that the Soviet Union was an evil empire; who never grasped the dimensions of the Soviet military threat; who regarded America’s democracy as an imperialist empire and as morally convergent with the Soviet state; and who insisted (and still insist) that the ferreting out of Soviet loyalists and domestic spies during the early Cold War years was merely an ideological witch-hunt. They opposed the Reagan military buildup and the development of an anti-ballistic missile system in the 1980s and consistently called for unilateral steps to reduce America’s nuclear deterrent.

Given this history, they could hardly be expected to take the post-Cold War threat from the Chinese communist dictatorship seriously. And they have not.

In fact, the current national security crisis may be said to have begun when President Clinton appointed anti-military environmental leftist Hazel O’Leary to be secretary of energy, and therefore in charge of the nation’s nuclear weapons labs. O’Leary promptly surrounded herself with other political leftists (including a “Marxist-Feminist”) and anti-nuclear activists, appointing them as assistant secretaries with responsibility for the nuclear labs.

In one of her first acts, O’Leary declassified 11 million pages of reports, including information on 204 nuclear tests, a move she described as an action to safeguard the environment and as a protest against a “bomb-building” culture. Having made America’s nuclear weapons secrets available to adversary powers, O’Leary then took steps to relax security precautions at the labs under her control. She appointed Rose Gottemoeller, a former Clinton National Security Council staffer with extreme anti-nuclear views, to be director in charge of national security issues. Gottemoeller had been previously nominated to fill the post — long-vacant in the Clinton administration - of assistant secretary of defense for international security policy. But her appointment was successfully blocked by congressional Republicans because of her radical disarmament views. The Clinton response to her rejection on security grounds was to appoint her to be in charge of security for the nation’s nuclear weapons labs.

The architect of America’s China policy over the course of the current disaster has been Clinton’s national security advisor, Sandy Berger. Berger began his political life as a Vietnam War protestor and member of the radical “Peace Now” movement, which regards Israel as the aggressor in the Middle East. Berger first met Clinton as an activist in the McGovern for president camp, the most left-wing Democratic presidential campaign in American history. Berger’s law practice, prior to his appointment, was lobbying for the business arm of China’s communist dictatorship. (The other root cause of the present security crisis is, of course, greed — a major factor in all its aspects, and on both sides of the political aisle.)

It is hardly surprising that a political leftist and business lobbyist for China’s rulers should take steps to lift the security controls that previously protected U.S. military technology. Or that, under his tenure, invitations to the White House should be extended to agents of Chinese intelligence and China’s military. Or, for that matter, that appointments like that of John Huang to posts with top security clearance should be considered perfectly reasonable.

Nor is it surprising, given the politics of the Clinton managers, that the administration should place its faith in arms control agreements that depend on trustworthy partners, while strenuously opposing measures to develop anti-ballistic missile defenses that do not. (Even now, after the revelations of China’s thefts, Berger and the Clinton administration continue to oppose the implementation of anti-ballistic missile defense programs, while pressing to keep China’s most-favored-nation trading status secure.)

After all, this is a Democratic Party whose political culture is so dominated by left-wing illusions and deceits that it has worked assiduously to obstruct the investigations of the debts of the Clinton-Gore campaign to the Chinese dictators. No wonder it remains irresponsibly complacent in the face of the revelations of the Cox Report.

There is perhaps nothing more alarming for the prospects of the two-party system, however, than the wall of denial that has been hastily and irresponsibly erected around these issues by Democratic leaders like Tom Daschle in the wake of the Cox disclosures. To say, as the Senate minority leader has, that there is nothing really new in these revelations is patently absurd. Which previous administrations dismantled vital security procedures; accepted illegal monies from foreign intelligence services and then blocked investigations when the illegalities were revealed; presided over the wholesale evaporation of the nation’s nuclear weapons advantage; abetted the transfer of missile technologies that can strike American cities; and opposed the development of weapons systems that could defend against such attacks?

The honest answer is none.

At the heart of the current crisis is a White House that has loaded its administration with officials deeply disenchanted with, if not actively hostile to, America’s essential character and purposes. Behind that White House and still supporting its coverup is a party that lacks proper pride in America’s national achievement and proper loyalty to America’s national interests. This is a party whose leader has spent enormous political capital apologizing to the world for America’s role in it. This is a party that even in the face of the most massive breach of security in America’s history is still taking the position that, like Monica, “Everybody does it.”

Democrats should think carefully before they proceed any further down this slippery path. Ronald Reagan won the presidency in 1980 by asking voters the question: “Do you feel better off now than you did four years ago?”

The next Republican presidential candidate will surely pose another obvious question: “Do you feel safer now than you did eight years ago?”

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David Horowitz is a conservative writer and activist.

Spies and lies

Scientist Wen Ho Lee passed a polygraph test, but the feds want to depend more on them to detect espionage.

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Of the many ironies apparent in the flap over China’s nuclear spying, none is so glaring as the government’s plans to rely more heavily on lie detectors to root out future moles — even though Wen Ho Lee, the Chinese-American scientist suspected of supplying nuclear weapons secrets to Beijing, passed a polygraph test in November 1998.

A close second on the irony-meter is official Washington’s professed alarm over Beijing’s espionage, when it was the CIA’s own spy inside China who first showed up with evidence that U.S. nuclear arms laboratories may have been penetrated. In yet another twist, the CIA eventually decided that its Chinese spy was actually a double agent under Beijing’s control.

Despite months of investigation and partisan recriminations over who’s responsible for the alleged success of Chinese espionage, which extends over four administrations reaching back to Jimmy Carter, no one has yet been arrested. Only one outcome is already clear: Untold millions of dollars are going to be spent to bolster security at government arms labs — well after China has already acquired U.S. weapons designs.

Among the measures will be a dramatic expansion of employee polygraph tests, even though their reliability has come under increasing scrutiny in recent years.

Wen Ho Lee was not the only alleged spy to pass a lie detector test. Other notorious moles who beat the machine include Aldrich Ames and Larry Wu-Tai Chin, another Chinese American spy. Ames was Moscow’s agent inside the CIA for eight years, until he was caught in 1995. Larry Chin, a 20-year intelligence analyst, spied for Beijing for untold decades until he was arrested in 1985. Both, as well as Wen Ho Lee, first passed, and then eventually failed polygraphs, but only after mountains of other evidence had been compiled against them. Chin committed suicide in jail before he was tried. Scores of the CIA’s Cuban agents, who turned out to be really working for Fidel Castro, also fooled U.S. government polygraphers for years. The same happened with CIA spies dispatched to the Soviet Union and North Vietnam. In most cases they were given, and passed, polygraph tests.

“Well, they don’t work,” Ames told retired Sen. Dennis Deconcini, D-Ariz., chairman of the Senate Intelligence Committee. An FBI polygrapher once told a scientific conference he could teach his teenage son how to beat the machine “in a few minutes.”

Wen Ho Lee’s case seems to come right out of the pages of John Le Carre. In 1978 the diminutive China-born scientist was hired by the Los Alamos Laboratory, where the atomic bomb was born in 1945. Sometime in the early 1980s, according to reports, he began helping the FBI on at least one case of suspected espionage. In 1987 Lee’s wife, Sylvia, a secretary at Los Alamos, herself became an informant for the FBI, providing information on visiting Chinese delegations. During this time her husband traveled to China to give scientific lectures on U.S. arms developments.

The FBI, meanwhile, had suspected that U.S. nuclear warhead secrets were leaking from Los Alamos for a while. In 1997 it began to zero in on Lee, and asked the Justice Department for permission to wiretap Lee, but was rebuffed. In November 1998 Lee was given, and judged to have passed, a polygraph examination. Subsequently, counterintelligence agents got more information on Lee and in February 1999, when he was polygraphed again, he failed.

Despite mixed results in this and other high-profile cases, the U.S. Senate Defense Authorization Bill includes funds for expanding polygraph tests to 20,000 employees of the Department of Energy, where the China spying flap is centered.

Responding to the exploding China spy scare, C. Bruce Tarter, Director of the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory of the University of California, on May 5 told Congress that its plans to protect itself from future threats would “focus primarily on the need to expand the DOE’s current polygraph program …”

This despite Senate testimony from a senior FBI scientist that the tests were virtually no better than tea leaves, Ouija boards, and witchcraft in ferreting out spies. The tests have “a complete lack of validity,” testified Supervisory Special Agent Drew C. Richardson. The government’s reliance on them may actually endanger national security, he said.

“I believe that there is virtually no probability of catching a spy with the use of polygraph screening techniques,” Richardson, a Ph.D. physiologist, testified. “To the extent that we place any confidence in the results of polygraph screening, and as a consequence shortchange traditional security vetting techniques, I think our national security is severely jeopardized,” he added.

For the first time, the views of Richardson and other polygraph skeptics in the scientific community are being heard. Last week the Senate Intelligence Committee asked the FBI and CIA to “come up with alternatives to polygraph testing” within 90 days, according to committee spokesman Bill Duhnkey.

“Given the potential unreliability of the polygraph system, the committee believes the alternatives to the polygraph should be explored,” the committee reported on May 11.

“I don’t think they know yet what the alternatives are,” said a government scientist who follows the issue closely. “They just know the polygraph is screwed up.” The committee’s directive, however, won’t affect the DOE’s plans to expand its reliance on polygraphs.

Sen. Charles Grassley, R-Iowa, a severe critic of FBI laboratory practices, has also been examining reported abuses in the FBI’s polygraph screening program for employee applicants, with an eye toward hearings.

Polygraph alternatives include full background checks of employees and closer monitoring of travel and spending habits. An FBI study of convicted espionage felons, called Project Shadow, also recommended co-workers take note of dramatic personality changes in their colleagues, due to divorce or being passed over for promotion. Better control of classified information is also a more effective way to reduce vulnerability to spies than polygraph tests, and specialists say agencies must work harder to limit access to secrets to employees to with a genuine need to know. Ironically, many security experts say the government should drastically curtail the number of documents it classifies, to make sure harmless information isn’t being treated with the time-consuming care that true secrets deserve.

Counterintelligence agents were appalled by the loose security at Los Alamos and other labs, according to reports, with classified papers strewn about desks and uncleared visitors frequenting the installation.

“Some feel Wen Ho Lee was not guilty of anything, that he’s a scapegoat for a sloppy environment, and that various minor security allegations were trumped up against him,” said a government agent whose expertise is unchallenged. “The polygraph really didn’t support anything one way or another.” While his take on Lee’s culpability could not be corroborated, it was a sign that there is skepticism about the Lee case even within the security community.

Meanwhile, the difficulty of nailing moles with the polygraph is compounded when foreign nationals are involved, experts agree. The emotional pull of the homeland tends to skew answers to certain questions.

“You don’t ask an ethnic: Are you loyal to a government other than the United States?” a retired deputy chief of counterintelligence for the FBI told Salon. “In fact, that’s one the agency [CIA] used to ask. Most ethnics will flunk that, because if they’re first-generation ethnics, they have ties to the homeland, even if they’ve fled. The question shouldn’t be if they’re loyal to a country, but if they’re working for another country’s government.”

Further complicating the security challenge is the fact that Chinese-American scientists may not know they are helping Beijing’s spies when they hand over scientific papers. Chinese intelligence also sends “sleeper agents” to the United States, such as college students, where they may remain dormant for years before being activated, a CIA source said.

Polygraphs can also boomerang on innocent employees, tie an agency’s security personnel in knots, and end up giving employers a legal and public relations headache. As Salon reported exclusively last June, a 28-year-old CIA lawyer named Adam Ciralsky was put on paid leave last year after flunking an agency polygraph even though he had passed three previous tests. His lawyer, former Justice Department Nazi hunter Neal Sher, is preparing a suit against the CIA.

Scientists outside the close-knit brotherhood of polygraph operators say the only way a “lie detector” can be completely reliable is when a suspect is being interrogated about information only he and the investigators could know — the combination to a safe, say, or a closely held code word.

Meanwhile, no one is yet predicting the fate of Wen Ho Lee, the figure at the center of the scandal, who was suspended from his job at Los Alamos after classified documents were found in his private computer files. He has not been charged with anything.

In all the hue and cry over allegations in the Cox Report, it has largely gone unnoticed that evidence of Beijing’s theft of U.S. nuclear secrets came in the form of a Chinese document that fell into the hands of the CIA. According to a New York Times account, the document was in a “suitcase” full of material handed over by a Chinese spy who “walked into the CIA’s arms” in Taiwan. Later, however, the man was judged to be under the control of Beijing. Puzzled CIA experts don’t know what to make of the incident, but they still regard the document as genuine.

In yet another irony relevant to the case, little notice was taken recently of a security violation similar to Lee’s by one of the CIA’s own past chiefs. Agents making a routine inspection discovered the home computers of former CIA Director John M. Deutch filled with classified documents that he was unauthorized to possess. A referral was made to the Justice Department, which declined to prosecute.

Closer to home, the Washington Post reported recently that the CIA itself had unloaded scores of its own laptops for sale — while they were still filled with CIA documents. One of the newspaper’s columnists is running a tongue-in-cheek contest for readers to guess what was in the files.

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Jeff Stein is the coauthor, with Khidhir Hamza, of "Saddam's Bombmaker: The Daring Escape of the Man Who Built Iraq's Secret Weapon." He writes frequently for Salon on national security issues from Washington.

Aging hormones

Clinton's raging hormones offend the aging Beltway Catholic press corps.

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In his appearance before Kenneth Starr’s grand jury last Monday, President Clinton testified that he had perhaps six sexual “contacts” with Monica Lewinsky, and that they all occurred in the first part of 1996, with the exception of one further contact in early 1997, according to a legal source close to Clinton. “They never had sexual intercourse, and Clinton ended it in early 1997,” says the source. “She didn’t want to, but had no choice but to accept that. They really were friends and they remained friends.”

The source added that “there was never any discussion between them that amounted to obstruction of justice. Very early on, and not in response to Starr’s investigation, they took steps — as anyone would — to keep their relationship secret.” The source described the further questions put to Clinton by Starr and prosecutors as “quite disgusting,” and said Clinton refused to answer them. Published reports have disclosed that Clinton became so angry at the questioning that at one point, he and his lawyers withdrew from the room where the inquiry took place and did not return for an hour.

After wresting a confession from Clinton about his affair, Starr’s strategy now seems to further humiliate the president by exposing each and every lurid detail of the sexual relationship. This legal gambit would indeed have been damaging against a president like Richard Nixon or Ronald Reagan — what American would have liked being forced to contemplate their passionate writhings? The public does not excuse Clinton’s dalliance with Lewinsky, but they seem far more able to put it into the context of his entire presidency, and recognize at the same time that raging hormones belong to the young. Washington had become accustomed to its aged presidents.

The last virile commander in chief was, of course, Jack Kennedy, inaugurated at 43, whose lifetime of sexual “contacts” numbered in the hundreds, according to historian Michael Beschloss. JFK was followed by Lyndon Johnson, whose extramarital adventures are said to have occurred before he became president at 55; Richard Nixon, 56, and Gerald Ford, 61 — neither of whom generated a hint of sexual intrigue, for obvious reasons; Jimmy Carter, who at 52 said he had lust only in his heart; Reagan, 69, whose own illicit affairs occurred earlier, during his Hollywood career; and George Bush, inaugurated at 64, who was rumored to have engaged in a discreet, long-term affair with a former aide while he was Reagan’s vice president, but managed to keep it out of the press.

Clinton’s aged 1996 opponent, Bob Dole, had an affair years earlier, during his first marriage, a story a Washington Post reporter nailed down before the election, with the woman in question going on the record. But executive editor Leonard Downie spiked the story. There was widespread speculation at the Post that Downie’s own 1996 affair, with a friend of his wife, was responsible for the Post blackout of the Dole affair. (Downie has since divorced and married the friend.)

At the elite dinner parties in Washington these days, there are not many people defending Clinton. “The Zeitgeist is to be against him, especially at the New York Times and the Washington Post,” says one social insider. “Anyone who says anything positive about Clinton or negative against Starr and the press is strongly and hostilely challenged.”

Within these circles, few people identify with Clinton’s vitality and promiscuity. By the time Clinton and his youthful crew arrived, official Washington had become a town of 60- to 80-year-old ex-appointees and advisors to the elderly Reagan and Bush administrations, no longer much interested in sex, especially pre-Viagra.

These Washington insiders have forgotten how sexual the pursuit of political power actually is. Most presidential campaigns bristle with erotic electricity, largely due to the immense power the candidate is seeking. As Henry Kissinger famously declared, “Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.” Washington luminaries — from senators to TV reporters — attract legions of groupies, some very aggressive, some vulnerable, some both.

Campaigns and Washington service involve long separations of married couples, and there are often brief affairs between staff members, between flight attendants and the Secret Service, between members of the press, all of whom are sharing an intense experience away from home and hearth. Coming together on a political quest, hitting the road for months and living on expense accounts in different hotel rooms every night is an explosively erotic mix. The endless and enormous temptations presented to candidates, particularly, are unimaginable to most people. It is the rare still-potent man who doesn’t succumb, and, as psychologist Joyce Brothers has pointed out, the physical energy and testosterone levels of those who seek high office far exceed the average person’s — with the possible exceptions of Richard Nixon and Bob Dole, who appear to have been fueled primarily by resentment.

The candidate’s psychology is that he has worked exhaustively, night and day, for many years to get to the pinnacle, and now he is still working night and day, fighting the Congress, fighting the press, fighting even some in his own party, locked for political reasons in what is perhaps a loving but no longer passionate marriage, and he says to himself, “What about the inner me? Where is my reward? I’m not getting any. I want sexual love!” This is the way it is.

Churchill said about being a public figure, “There is one’s public life, one’s private life and then there is one’s secret life.” But Clinton’s political enemies seethe with sanctimony, insisting against all signs to the contrary that leaders must have no personal contradictions, that their inner lives must always correspond to family and religious strictures.

Age is not Clinton’s only problem inside the Beltway. There is also creed. In an unusual article in the National Journal, media writer William Powers remarks upon the particularly harsh judgments being levied on Clinton by a coterie of liberal-to-moderate Democratic journalists and pundits who are also Catholics. The most judgmental in their commentary, says Powers, are the Irish Catholics among them. (Powers identifies himself an Irish Catholic.) The harshest is Chris Matthews, host of CNBC’s “Hardball,” who has been termed by Washington Post TV critic Tom Shales as “the screaming meanie.” Close behind in the vitriol count are New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd and Michael Kelly, editor of the National Journal and columnist for the Washington Post. Somewhat more measured is NBC’s ubiquitous Tim Russert, and more pained than censorious are Post columnists Mary McGrory and Mark Shields. Among the chorus of Catholic former Clinton staffers who have been piling on are Dee Dee Myers and Leon Panetta.

In comments to Powers, several members of this “whole gang of us” — as Matthews termed the group, many of whom are close friends — talked about the moral absolutism of their Catholic backgrounds. But what about the other Catholic tradition that emphasizes “original sin and fallen human nature?” Powers was asked by liberal Washington Post columnist E.J. Dionne, a Catholic who usually supports Clinton, “Does he [Kelly] believe in the forgiveness of sins?”

In Time’s special issue last week, Myers (who is married to New York Times reporter Todd Purdum, who has been writing about Whitewater), writes of her disappointment with Clinton’s Lewinsky speech — because he wasn’t contrite or apologetic enough to suit her, because he shifted responsibility to Paula Jones and Ken Starr and because he hadn’t done right by those who gave him “their votes, their hopes, their labor and their love.”

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Mollie Dickenson's articles have appeared in the New York Times, the Washington Post, the Miami Herald and other publications. She is the author of "Thumbs Up," a biography of Reagan Press Secretary James Brady.

The Salon Interview: Gore Vidal

An interview with Gore Vidal by Chris Haines.

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Gore Vidal puts us at ease with history, probably because he has spent so much time at its elbow. Born at West Point and raised in Washington, D.C., the grandson of the legendary blind Sen. Thomas Gore and kin to Jimmy Carter, Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis and the current vice president, Vidal has woven his sitting room perspective of American politics into novels like “Burr,” “Lincoln,” “1876″ and “Empire.” It is his familial view of great people and events that makes them feel real.

Vidal’s contributions to popular culture — both as an early writer for television and as a Hollywood screenwriter — expose human folly and frailty, in a more contemporary and occasionally picaresque mode. Compare, for instance, “Visit to a Small Planet” or “The Best Man” to “Suddenly, Last Summer” or “Myra Breckinridge.” His forthcoming novel, “The Smithsonian Institution,” returns to his favorite political and sexual themes.

In his aptly titled autobiography, “Palimpsest,” the personal and the historical rub shoulders again. Jack and Jackie, Tennessee and Anaïs all wander across the playing field, without their political or literary raiments — drunk, fragile, mendacious — as if caught in the harsh, incontestable light of a Polaroid snapshot taken by a sober nephew or cousin.

Even better are the essays. Reading through the dozens of reviews, stories and editorials that compose “United States” (accounting for approximately two-thirds of his published articles), it becomes clear that Vidal’s reputation as a polemicist is something of a bum rap. He is, at heart, a brilliant pragmatist, with a great sense of humor and irony. But Americans have never cared much for irony. Perhaps it’s his extended exposure to the famous that allows Vidal not only to point out that the emperor’s new clothes are not there, but that the emperor is actually an emperor and not just the prez (as he recently argued in Vanity Fair). It was Vidal’s commentary on American empire and the Internet that inspired the following interview, conducted via fax, with Vidal at his villa in Italy.

Do you own a personal computer?

Yes, but a friend operates it.

How is your perception of American culture and politics influenced by your perspective as a resident of Italy?

I watch CNN, read the Herald Tribune, plus two Italian newspapers, the Guardian weekly roundup of Washington Post stories, Le Monde and the Brit Guardian. The Economist is invaluable. Our corporate owners lie to us about everything except money, which they have to deal honestly with, in reporting, that is. And I get faxed information I need. I’m more in
touch than if I lived, let us say, in Anahaim, Orange County. Sorry, Mickey.

In Vanity Fair, you quoted Dean Acheson’s comment about “the average American” spending 10 minutes each day “listening, reading and arguing about the world outside his own country.” What impact has the global-village effect of the Internet had on those 10 minutes?

I don’t think the Internet has hit the “average American” yet, but when it does, I should think the 10-minute attention span will probably still obtain because back of it is the refusal of the American corporate ruling class to educate the people at large. How can you find out what you don’t know — nearly everything as far as history and foreign countries go — if you have no idea of what it is you don’t know?

How great a threat is the global community created by the Internet to the American empire?

I should like to think terminal, as the empire has wrecked our society — $5 trillion of debt, no proper public education, no health care — and done the rest of the world incomparable harm.

But in the next few years, the empire is going to strike back at the Internet in the interest of protecting our children from porn, drugs and terrorism — all of which the U.S. government will claim is being peddled by the Internet. There is not a trick they won’t pull to get control. After all, what better way to control everyone’s mind, or at least the input of information?

Does the distribution of pornography over the Internet influence your position on pornography — or your position on the Internet?

I am for the First Amendment and so pornography is protected along with really damaging stuff like CIA disinformation on public matters or false-claiming commercials. No child was ever raped by a book or a picture. Actually, pedophiles are turned off by explicit sex and adolescents can’t think about anything else anyway.

One effect of new technology and new media is an increased demand for speed: instant news, immediate communication between disparate points on the globe. What does this mean for the writer/reader of tomorrow?

Not good in the sense that the more rapidly a story is told, the less well it is told. It is also hardly understood at all if there’s another story on its heels. So — slow down what’s important and provide context.

Who are your favorite authors? Are there other historical novelists whose work you continue to enjoy?

I’m obliged to read history, not novels.

Do you find fiction easier or more difficult to write than nonfiction?

Writing is writing for a writer. Others, I’m told, have problems.

Do you keep a journal?

No.

What is your current writing project?

“The Smithsonian Institution,” a novel.

What is the novel about?

In 1939, the Smithsonian Institution takes in a 13-year-old genius from St. Albans School to help build an atomic bomb in the basement. But he is more ambitious; manipulates time; stops Hitler. Exhibits come alive at night and he has an affair with a first lady, who is a chicken hawk.

In the United States, the small amount of government funding that is available to artists is about to disappear entirely. Which environment do you think is more conducive to creating great art — a competitive free market like the U.S. or the European model of government support for the artist?

One can make the case either way. Dictators and oligarchies have usually made the most beautiful cities — imperial Rome, Medici Florence. But does one want to pay that price politically? I’m a Darwinian in the arts. The artist, if good, will find his way through the dreck of his time.

“The City and the Pillar” was published 21 years before Stonewall. What effect has the contemporary gay movement had on literature?

Writers are freer to write about same-sexuality but, in the long run, all that matters is writing well, no matter what one’s sexual preoccupations.

Do you have any thoughts about “queer studies” in the academy?

I’ve always thought the academy pretty queer itself, in the old-fashioned sense of the word. Since most of what they study is fairly useless, long lists of same-sexers — particularly champion bowlers — may make for greater tolerance.

Is the fight for gay marriage a legitimate objective for homosexuals?

I take the position that as “homo/heterosexual” are adjectives describing acts, they can never be nouns. No person can be homosexual or heterosexual and the division of everyone into two teams is part of a stupidity to which Americans and Brits are particularly prone. Everyone is a mixture of desires and who does what with an agreeable partner is of no concern to society. Why have “gay” marriage when so much of our discontents and disorder came from heterosexual marriage?

In “Pornography,” you write, “Man plus woman equals baby equals famine,” and that “since additional children are no longer needed, it is impossible to say that some acts are ‘right’ and others ‘wrong.’” Given the danger of overpopulation, doesn’t this mean that homosexuality is somehow more “right” for a crowded planet than heterosexuality?

If one were sensible — not possible in monotheistic societies as we know them — the homosexual act, as it leads to no little stranger, is “safer” than the heterosexual act as far as the planet’s future is concerned. I suspect governments will be begging populations in the next century to indulge in same-sex with the same powerful incoherence that they now support family values.

In “The Birds and the Bees,” you write, “I regard the pope and ayatollah as the somehow preprogrammed agents of our demise.” Which is most likely to destroy mankind: global warming, overpopulation, war or religious fundamentalism?

One could make the case that these are the four horsemen of the apocalypse and they will probably work together, as in the past.

What do you consider the most important political event of the 20th century?

For the United States, the Scopes trial of 1925, when the line was drawn between those who believed in science and those who believed in the Garden of Eden. Superstition won that time around, but the battle lines are ever clearer and the war goes on. On the world scene, the Soviets’
decision to liquidate their empire, something which we should now emulate.

What will be the most important event of the next century?

I’ve not yet paid it a visit. I suspect a world plague like the 1918 flu epidemic.

Of New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani, Screw magazine publisher Al Goldstein — praising the reduction in crime in New York during the mayor’s tenure — said: “The price you pay for a dictatorship is freedom but everything works better.” Comments?

I worship the ground Al walks on, but he is, alas, full of shit. Get the William Appleman Williams Reader — our greatest historian — and read him on “community.”

Who was the most dangerous American president of the 20th century?

H.S. Truman, who started the Cold War, followed by J.F. Kennedy, macho man with a bad back and no adrenal function, with far too much cortisone being pumped into him. The missile crisis nearly killed everyone on earth. To his credit, he chickened out, but, to Khruschev’s credit, he saw the whole apocalyptic mess and backed off as well.

Who was the best American president of the 20th century?

The FDR of 1933-37. He saved corporate capitalism. I can’t say, in retrospect, this was such a good thing, but I was a kid when the Bonus Army marched on my hometown of Washington during Hoover and revolution was in the air. The next year FDR was in office.

Following up on your New Yorker review of Seymour Hirsch’s JFK biography, how meaningful is a president’s personal life in evaluating his performance as a leader? Regarding Paula Jones, for instance, why do Americans focus on their leaders’ sex lives rather than their political accomplishments?

Sex lives are of no consequence in civilized countries; unfortunately … reader, finish the sentence yourself. The conglomerates that own the U.S. and pay for both political parties also own the media. Politics — who collects what tax money in order to benefit whom — is the one subject no politician is allowed to address. That’s why we get nothing but Paula Joneses while the fact that corporations pay little or no tax on profits is a non-subject, as is the citizen’s income tax (large), for which he gets no health service.

Speaking to the Hollywood Radio and Television Society recently, Vice President Al Gore stated the following: “When the character of Ellen came out, millions of Americans were forced to look at sexual orientation in a more open light.” And of Hollywood: “Few communities in this nation care as deeply about social and ethical issues.” Care to comment?

As a longtime member of the Hollywood community (I have a house in the Hollywood Hills and still do the odd picture), I applaud Al. But then Hollywood supports the Democratic Party. On same-sex matters, Hollywood never dares get more than an inch or two ahead of the New York Times.

As someone who has run for public office, which aspects of the artist’s personality do you think would benefit the electorate?

Empathy, without which we don’t do good work; without which demagogues flourish.

What are your thoughts on the possibility of a Gore in the White House?

I would accept, of course. Unfortunately, my cousin Al is the wrong Gore. And though I’m the right one, time’s winged wastebasket is scurrying near.

If you were president, what would be your first executive decision?

I would cut Pentagon procurement (around $250 billion) by two-thirds. Taxes for the middle class need never be raised again in the next 50 years. Then I would tax corporate profits, something hardly done nowadays. Then we could have national health and even an intelligent, accessible school system.

Are you proud to be an American?

As long as those truths we hold to be inalienable are not entirely alienated from us. You might, for the customers, quote from the Declaration of Independence.

Why is America obsessed with Jackie O.?

We saw her picture for decades and she never talked.

Why is America obsessed with Princess Diana?

We saw her picture for close to 20 years and she never stopped talking.

Reading your essays, I sometimes get the feeling that you are an optimist and at other times that you are a pessimist. Which word (if either one) would you use to describe yourself?

Realist.

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Chris Haines, the editor of Tony Awards Online, enjoys a free lunch as much as complimentary ice cream, but would prefer both.

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