Salon.com > Limerick Contest

Salon limerick contest

Wed, 19 Sep 2012 12:50:00 +0000

If Salon limericists are any guide, and one struggles to imagine a better metric, the election season is taking too long. Here are some of our favorites from the last week:

Let the nitpickers fume and get furious.

Let them search for the truth if they’re curious.

But there is no way,

They’ll dictate what we say.

We won’t let the fact-checkers worry us!

Douglas McMillan, Sedgwick, Maine

Obama, says Mitt, hates success.

And it's clear that he's right, since unless,

You count being resident,

In the White House as president,

Obama's career's been a mess.

Robert Schechter, Dix Hills, N.Y.

This year is becoming a joke.

Rolled my eyes when both candidates spoke.

By all means cast your ballot,

For the guy you can palate,

I'm not electing Soros or Koch.

Kenny Roy, Los Angeles

Suffering a four-hour erection,

Salon limerick contest

Tue, 04 Sep 2012 14:29:00 +0000

Didn't H.L. Mencken say every convention gets the poems it deserves? In any case, here are some of the funniest limericks Salon readers contributed to dignify last week's confab in Tampa, Fla.

For this week's contest, we're asking poetic-minded readers to look at the Dems' get-together in Charlotte, N.C. As a service to posterity, however, we'll also consider any entries that include a rhyme for the word "chair."

Christie’s key to repeated election

Is restraint in seeking affection.

“I make them respect me,

Then they elect me!

For love I woo my reflection.”

Quentin Sullivan, Haverhill, Mass.

Tattletales, Tampa strip club, posts sign,

Says, “No Minors, No Liberals” – does fine

By the men it admits

All this week: hypocrites,

“Family values” Republican swine.

Jim Parry, Darien, Conn.

Take a look at the Tampa convention,

That gathering of minds in declension.

You'll see some non-whites,

They're all bathed in stage lights,

But the embrace is the purest invention.

Daniel Fleisher

RNC speakers begin to assemble,

Salon limerick contest

Mon, 27 Aug 2012 12:14:00 +0000

This week Salon asked readers to submit limericks on celebrities. Prince Harry's recent escapade was a popular target:

Just about everyone knows,

That in Vegas anything goes.

Most people lose money,

Or sometimes their honey,

But Prince Harry lost all his clothes.

Jane Hoffman, Dallas, Texas

And as Rep. Kevin Yoder proved, sometimes politicians act like celebrities:

Whatever on earth were they thinking,

Stripping and dipping, and drinking,

They frolicked unsuited.

This isn't disputed.

The result is their 'polls' are now shrinking.

Michael Peterson, Willowbrook, Ill.

This week's contest will focus on the Republican convention. Submit your entries to limericks@salon.com by Friday at 5 pm. Please include your name and hometown.

Salon limerick contest

Mon, 20 Aug 2012 14:25:00 +0000

In this week's limerick contest, Salon readers vented their spleen at Paul Ryan. In particular, the candidate’s plans for entitlement programs like Social Security and Medicare came under a relentless bombardment of rhyming verse. Here are some of the best:

There was a young pol named Paul Ryan.

Cutting spending is what he got high on.

He asserted with surety,

"I'll save Social Security,

'Cause with Medicare gone, they'll be dyin'."

-Bob Niccum, Buena Park, Calif.

Paul Ryan is sure that it's true.

All abortions are wicked to do.

Not for rape, or incest,

Even death - Paul knows best.

For a zygote's worth much more than you.

-Paul Bamborough, Norway

Paul Ryan, would you please explain,

How your budget plan isn't insane?

I can tell you with surety

That Social Security

Is not what I'd call "gravy train"!

-Bruce Niedt, Cherry Hill, N.J.

Paul Ryan has focused his aim

On Medicare, says it's to blame

For deficits, so

He'd destroy it, although

Limerick contest winners

Mon, 13 Aug 2012 17:53:00 +0000

The response to Salon’s first weekly limerick contest was a tsunami of iambic pentameter and predictable rhymes for "Mitt." After wading through your verse, a few favorites emerged.

Mitt's famous car trip provided rich source material:

As travel arrangements were set,

Rafalca had reason to fret,

When Romney explained,

To get to the Games,

She'd be strapped to the roof of the jet!

--Pete DeVriese, Oakland, Calif.

The Romney's were off with a start.

Regrettably, Seamus had farts.

So into the crate,

If he makes it that's great.

If not, Mitt will sell off the parts.

--Michael Peterson, Willowbrook, Ill.

A few addressed themselves to the candidate himself:

Introducing the Salon limerick contest!

Tue, 07 Aug 2012 16:17:00 +0000

Blame the heat if you like, but the campaign is deep in the slog phase. With an unpopular incumbent, an uninspiring challenger and no excitement about the veep pick, it’s clear why everyone’s watching the Olympics. At Salon we’ve got just the SFW gimmick to brighten the mood: light, rhyming verse!

Here's how Salon's limerick contest will work: Readers can submit poems based on the news — political or not – to limericks@salon.com. Deadline is 5 p.m. every Friday and we’ll publish our favorites a few days later. It's that easy.

Traditional limericks are five line poems with an AABBA rhyme scheme. Before trying one yourself you might want to read a few classics. And here’s a current one to get you started:

A certain rich fellow named Romney,
Knows less about people than money.
Since showing his taxes,
Would cause him anaphylaxis.
He insists it’s enough to say, 'Trust me.'