We don't live in that unspoiled world, however, so the book has become a flashpoint, with right-wingers seizing on tiny unflattering tidbits and Michelle Obama herself telling tell Gayle King that it fosters "an image that people have tried to paint of me since the day that Barack announced, that I'm an angry black woman." I'm on record (on "Hardball" Wednesday) saying I wish the First Lady hadn't felt the need to defend herself; she's one of the most admired women in America, just behind Hillary Clinton and Oprah Winfrey, a multiracial feminist troika that itself shows how far we've come. Especially when it comes to her right-wing critics, she shouldn't fight down.

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1. Clean;
2. Well-rested;
3. Impeccably dressed;
4. Well-versed in current events and prepared to deliver a handful of hilarious yet tasteful jokes on relevant topics; and
5. Ready to Dougie, if asked.

In reality, when Michelle came for lunch,

1. I hadn’t showered in two days;
2. I’d slept less than five hours each night for the previous three weeks, due to a recurring nightmare about burning risotto and disappearing pan handles;
3. I was in a carrot-spattered chef’s coat and oversize pants held up by a belt made of twisted Saran Wrap;
4. I hadn’t read a paper in weeks and felt comfortable conversing mainly about legumes; and
5. I’d spent the last week picking up heavy objects “properly,” according to a chiropractor, which required that I continually squat while sticking my butt out. As a result, I was unable to do a stiff-limbed waltz, let alone a shimmy.

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The move is a blow to the Obama administration, which passed the Child Nutrition Act in 2010 to improve school food and permit more children to qualify for free meals. Michelle Obama has made childhood obesity the driving cause of her tenure as first lady, with a Let's Move! initiative to encourage physical fitness and healthy eating.

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In Cannon Falls, Minn., the president compared negotiating with House Republicans to negotiating with his wife.

“In my house,” Obama noted, “if I said, ‘You know, Michelle, honey, we got to cut back, so we’re going to have you stop shopping completely. You can’t buy shoes; you can’t buy dresses; but I’m keeping my golf clubs.’ You know, that wouldn’t go over so well.”

In Decorah, he said: “Everybody cannot get 100 percent of what they want. Now, for those of you who are married, there is an analogy here. I basically let Michelle have 90 percent of what she wants. But, at a certain point, I have to draw the line and say, ‘Give me my little 10 percent.’ ”

Maybe Michelle should be the one negotiating with the Republicans.

Bam.

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Brazilian footwear company Melissa  created a giant mural using 300,000 pages of sticky pads to open their flagship store. Bonus: viewers could write little notes of endearment on the Post-its, creating a huge mural composed with a lot of love.

2. Glenn Beck blames racially diverse "Spider-Man" on Michelle Obama

Obviously, Glenn does not understand the difference between the Ultimate and regular Marvel universe, or he'd know that the comic book company has every intention of keeping Peter Parker alive and Caucasian.

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After everyone else began calling the story dumb and pointless and inane, the Post... ran a poll. Now the people can decide if Michelle Obama is "a hypocrite" for eating a hamburger! In order to justify the newsworthiness of "Michelle Obama eating a hamburger," the Post's Tim Carman Googled "Michelle Obama" and "hamburgers," and discovered that she has eaten at least five hamburgers in the past.

Type in “Michelle Obama and salads” into Google, and you gets tons of hits about her introducing salad bars into schools. But few hits of her ordering salads in public.

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It was the first meeting, and likely a moving one, between America's first black first lady and the political prisoner who later became his country's first elected black president.

Mrs. Obama, daughters Malia, 12, and Sasha, 10, and her mother, Marian Robinson, were being shown some of Mandela's personal papers during a stop at his foundation when, according to White House officials, he sent word from his nearby home that he wanted to meet the Obamas.

The family was then driven to Mandela's home in a well-manicured Johannesburg neighborhood, where they spent about 20 minutes with him and his wife, Graca Machel, who is a former first lady of Mozambique.

Mrs. Obama's niece and nephew, Leslie Robinson, 15, and Avery Robinson, 19, who are traveling with her, were also invited to meet Mandela.

White House officials had no immediate comment on the meeting. No aides, except for photographers for the foundation and the White House, witnessed the meeting.

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2. Local news flub of the day: "More teens are having f*ck ..."

They sure are.

3. Google of the day: In honor of Les Paul's birthday, the search engine created a playable (and recordable) guitar doodle. Listen to it play Beatles songs!

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Huck struck back with an entertaining, unedited blog post calling Beck a conspiracy theorist looking for "boogey men" that "he and only he can see." "The First Lady's approach is about personal responsibility," Huckabee wrote, "not the government literally taking candy from a baby's mouth."

On the Blaze, Beck's news website, Kevin Balfe, Beck's primary ghostwriter, has responded today by calling Huckabee a liar. Because, he argues, Michelle Obama and Mike Huckabee do want to literally take candy from babies' mouths:

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Huckabee's crime? He supports Michelle Obama's anti-obesity initiative, because modern-day culture-warrior right-wingers do actually think encouraging healthy behavior for children is an infringement on liberty. And because of that suppot, Huckabee is clearly a left-wing Nazi Progressive -- "like John McCain" -- who conspired with McCain to ... sabotage the Romney campaign, in 2008. (???)

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Obama has spent the past year advocating for healthy living choices and encouraging elected officials, school groups, food producers and parents to help develop solutions to America's obesity epidemic. 

Christie voiced his support for the first lady's obesity initiative on Face the Nation this weekend:

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Rush Limbaugh took time out of his Monday broadcast to let his listeners know:

Our First Lady does not project the image of women that you might see on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, or of a woman Alex Rodriguez might date every six months or what have you.

This in response to Obama's high-profile initiative to rein in obesity in America -- to get people to eat "cardboard and tofu," as he put it. What's more, Rush did a little bit of calorie counting.

Michelle My Belle, minus the husband, took the kids out to Vail on a ski vacation, and they were spotted eating and they were feasting on ribs, ribs that were 1,575 calories per serving with 141 grams of fat per serving.

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Part of the "Obama Nation" strip by James Hudnall and Batton Lash, the cartoon shows an overweight Michelle Obama scarfing down hamburgers while telling her husband about her anti-obesity efforts. Barack, meanwhile, is shown with enormous ears (bonus points for originality) and complains that Michelle is going to undermine his reelection efforts.

The punch line? Michelle shouts back, "Shut up and pass the bacon!" Bravo, Breitbart and co. Bravo.

You can see the comic here.

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Obama will visit Burgess-Peterson Academy, a public elementary school, Wednesday afternoon to tout the school's work on promoting healthy eating. She also will give a speech at North Point Community Church in Alpharetta just north of the city about the work of her "Let's Move!" campaign.

In the past year, Obama has addressed governors, mayors, school groups, food makers and other constituencies, urging them to build more bike paths and playgrounds, to serve healthier school lunches and to make and sell healthier food. She's even held an exercise clinic with kids on the White House South Lawn.

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In the two years since her husband's inauguration, Ms. Obama has been criticized for her hairstyles, her occasional overdependence on belts, and, of course, those notoriously powerful, frequently bare arms, the ones David Brooks facetiously referred to as "Thunder and Lightning." Her most recent crime against humanity, the donning of a bold red Alexander McQueen for a state dinner with China's President Hu Jintao earlier this month, prompted the Times' perpetually condescending Cathy Horyn to pen a recent column declaring her fear that Obama's "deeds are being overshadowed by what she wears." "I want her to be known for something other than her fashion," she wrote. "I want her to be a great first lady who truly cares about the lives of Americans at the time when many need help. I want her to be far more than 'prime placement' for a dress label." By wearing what, exactly? Sackcloth and ashes? Elastic-waist Mom jeans? Maybe sensible pantsuits, because God knows Hillary isn't still getting crap for that?

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The new standards dictate that by 2016, Wal-Mart will reduce the sodium content and sugar content as well as completely eradicate transfat in food sold in its stores. All the while, Wal-Mart promises to keep the food cheap. Wal-Mart's executive vice president of corporate affairs, Leslie Dach, told the New York Times, "We’ve always said that we don’t think the Wal-Mart shopper should have to choose between a product that is healthier for them and what they can afford."

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So I went through the archives to help remind everyone just how many silly things the conservative press got all worked up about in the year 2010. (With a couple big items left out. Everyone stopped talking about the "Ground Zero Mosque" once summer ended, but it's hardly been completely forgotten.)

Harry Reid said "Negro"

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"Oh, my God! Where's my camera," gasped Lavondee Stallings, a preschool teacher whose husband serves in the military, as Obama entered the banquet room at Ramstein Air Base's Officers Club.

Stallings was one of some 200 people with whom the First Lady spent time during a refueling stopover on the way home from her tour of Asia with President Barack Obama.

"I am missing Sasha and Malia desperately," Obama said of her daughters as she spoke to the group gathered for the donated steak dinner, grilled by volunteers from the California-based Cooks of the Valley.

"But it is a thrill to be here with you guys, because we are so grateful to all of you," she said. "Not just our servicemen and women, but their kids, wives, husbands and parents."

After serving, Obama went through the room doling out hugs, handshakes and warm thanks to troops and their families.

She also chatted with their children, asking how they were doing in school and if they worked hard.

Ten-year-old Malaysia Chevere got a special shout-out when she told the first lady about her grades.

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