Olympics

Nagano: Not ready for prime time

Eric Gower reports from Nagano, Japan, on the Russian Club, the CBS-embracing priest at Zenkoji temple and other Olympics-related additions to the local scene.

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NAGANO, Japan — As the brand-new shinkansen “bullet train” bound for Nagano and built specially for the Olympics leaves the seemingly endless sprawl of faceless buildings, homes and small factories of Tokyo, the stunning mountain vistas that many people will soon associate with Nagano’s moment in the world spotlight open up. The $13 billion train deposits me, as it will nearly all athletes and spectators of the Games, in the center of a city that looks disturbingly asleep, given that hundreds of thousands of people are about to descend on the place. The occasional Olympic flag and poster are there, but other than those subtle reminders I could be in any of Japan’s regional hubs, with their congested streets of souvenir shops, KFCs, Doutor cafes, liquor stores, local banks and McDonald’s.

But one attractively designed neon sign proclaiming “The Russian Club” does pop out at me while I stroll along Nagano’s main drag. When I stop to get a better look, a tall, Russian-looking man gestures to me through a sliding window. He is standing in a teeny room surrounded by cardboard boxes filled with Olympic-themed pins. Behind his little box is a bustling restaurant serving “international” food.

“Are you part of the Russian Club?” I ask him.

“You might say that,” says Isaac. He speaks with a lilt, an accent faintly familiar but not your typical Russian one. Then it dawns on me: It’s Ricky Ricardo’s accent! Isaac is a “fairly orthodox” Jewish Cuban who made it to Miami many years ago — and is now here for the Games. This is his eighth Olympics, all financed by hustling pins.

Isaac considers himself an internationalist, and he is — a kind of global diplomat of entrepreneurial good will. He showed up in Nagano with exactly the same approach that he’s always used: Get to town, stake out a storefront and start giving away pins. With not a word of Japanese to aid him and with no contacts, he showed up. “I came in October and this place was dead,” he told me. “Nothing going on. I’ve got a big load of pins, some cash and that’s it. I start in my usual way: being friendly and occasionally giving out pins. People like gifts. It’s just a fact about humanity. Pins are perfect little gifts. They’re small and portable.”

“Anyway,” he continued, “before I know it I’ve given a pin to a sweet old lady in a kimono, who immediately assumed a weird expression of pain, yet she was smiling. She thanked me — or at least it looked like she was thanking me; I didn’t understand a single word she was saying. I walk away and forget about it when I notice her rushing toward me, as fast as it’s possible for a really old lady in a kimono to go. She catches up with me, says some more, and hands me — I am not making this up — a pair of tweezers! And I’m thinking, What the fuck could that possibly mean? Can you imagine! I guess she just couldn’t be given something without absolutely needing to give something back. Anything at all. She was probably cussing to herself that she could only find a pair of tweezers to give me.”

A burly Russian man named Sergei interrupts our cackling and chides Isaac in a fatherly yet vaguely thuggish sort of way. “I’m the official attachi of the Russian team,” he booms, almost certainly emboldened with several solid rounds of vodka. He declines my request to talk with him about the upstairs Russian Club. “You have to be Russian,” he says, and disappears into the music coming from the second floor.

“So that’s not the end of the story,” Isaac says. “I thank her for the tweezers and go on my way. I’d been walking for a while, and was pretty hungry and needed a break, so I stop at a soba shop. [Note: There are an annoying number of soba shops in Nagano. It really feels as if around 80 percent of the choices of restaurants involve soba noodles eaten cold. I have no idea what the hordes of tourists who will be pouring in here in less than a month will eat besides soba.] You know the waribashi, the wooden disposable chopsticks that you break apart? What happens? The chopsticks give me a nasty splinter, and I immediately remove it with the tweezers! You can’t make this kind of thing up.”

The restaurant’s house musician, a lanky Beatle-mopped kid fiddling with a high-tech-looking bass, comes around. He looks so much like a slightly aged Bud Cort, Harold in “Harold and Maude,” that I have to concentrate really hard on not projecting to him that that’s what I’m thinking. He looks like he has heard the word “tweezers” just maybe once too often. The Japanese manager — or owner? — of the restaurant joins us; he looks extremely happy. Every table is full. Mountains of food are spilling from the tables.

“Yet again life trumps fiction,” Isaac says. “So now I have to go back to tell the old lady what just happened. So I head back there, but we’ve got this pretty major language problem, right? And I’m not sure exactly how I’m gonna convey the story. So as I head toward her place I see a young blond girl, about 20 years old. I really want to ask her to help me out, or at least see if she speaks Japanese, but she’s this real doll, see. And I realize I’m no spring chicken — it’s probably been 20 years since I’ve chatted up chicks her age, so I’m a little nervous. But by this point I really need to tell the old lady the story. So I screw up my courage and approach her, half expecting her to just walk away, but of course she turns out to be fully bilingual, and is happy to accommodate my request. Needless to say, the old lady is floored. A big belly laugh in a kimono, can you imagine! Not the hand-covering-the-mouth little dainty chuckles variety that you see most of the time.”

We’re alone again in his pin room, with its glass sliding windows and pins displayed in fancy wood-and-glass jewelry display cases, where passersby are inevitably neck-craning to see the display. We are constantly interrupted by young girls asking to inspect the pins. Most of the pins feature the official logo, or some variant of it, or the “snowlets” — the official mascots that look like a morphed Felix the Cat on acid and whose “poses” are zealously regulated by the Olympic Committee — with some athletic motif, like an ice skate or a ski. (Coca-Cola — Isaac’s competition — has a shop exclusively devoted to selling pins in similar motifs, but with “Coca-Cola” written on them.) The people eventually file out.

“So I take a look around the old lady’s place and think, well, I could probably use this space as either a warehouse or turn it into a show store,” Isaac says. “So I ask the blond to ask her whether she’d be interested in renting it to me. She couldn’t possibly do such a thing, the old lady says. It’s far too small and dirty. I insist that it’s perfect, make her a good offer and she says she’ll consult with her family. The next day she finds me and bingo, I’ve got a space.”

Some Russians file past us on their way upstairs. Isaac seems reluctant to talk about the Russian Club, so I thank him for his time and make my way out. I pass a liquor store with a Belgian flag on it. On a lark, I take a quick look to see if they have any Belgian beer. Bang — Chimay Blue! As I am paying, I ask the woman why she is flying the Belgian flag. “The merchants association decided to do our part by everyone supporting a country other than Japan. Countries were randomly assigned, and I got Belgium.”

I pass the we’re-supporting-Mexico hardware store and the go-Sweden stationery store and make my way to Zenkoji, Nagano’s 1,400-year-old Buddhist temple that is easily the city’s biggest tourist attraction.

Takakazu Fukushima isn’t your run-of-the-mill Buddhist priest. Armed with a Ph.D. in chemical engineering from the University of Michigan, he gave up his professorship at a prestigious university in Yokohama when he heard that Nagano had been selected as the site for the ’98 Games. Nagano is his hometown, and he returned to fulfill his obligation as eldest son to become a priest like his father (who had encouraged him to do so after he retired from teaching, not at the peak of his career). He was attracted to Zenkoji’s nonsectarian stance; it is the only major “nonaligned” temple in Japan — virtually all are affiliated with a sect of Buddhism, such as Zen, Shingon, Jodo or Tendai.

The first thing one notices about Zenkoji is probably the famed main temple, but the CBS building right next to it runs a close second. I ask Fukushima-san what in the world possessed them to allow the network to slap up a building next to one of Japan’s national treasures. “It’s a great thing,” he says. “We were very excited when they approached us with the idea. They understand the concept of culture much better than does the organizing committee. Zenkoji will be the center of the world for a short while. They couldn’t have picked a better spot. The Olympics fit in well with our philosophy here.”

Fukushima-san has an intense presence: He somehow manages a burning stare with laughing eyes, and has a tendency to guffaw when making his points. I ask him how he feels about how the Games have been managed so far, but he wants to know my first impressions first. I say that I have just arrived, and that I haven’t seen or felt any of the “Olympic fever” that I had imagined would be in the streets, with the Games just a month away. It’s difficult to tell that such a big event is in the making, I say.

“Exactly!” he says. “There’s almost no consciousness among local people. Most of the merchants were naturally hoping to profit off the events. Who wouldn’t? Why else have them, from their perspective? Japan’s ‘glory’ Olympics were the Summer Games of 1964. We had just risen from the ashes of the war, the economy was growing at a dizzying pace, we had built the fastest train in the world; we wanted to show the world what we’d accomplished in such a short span. We were genuinely proud of how far we’d come.

“The reason you don’t see much going on in the streets is that the organizing committee has pretty much denied them the right to use the official emblem unless they become paying sponsors. They’re expected to be enthusiastic cheerleaders for the Games, but they can’t muster much up. They are expected to be happy with all the new roads and the new shinkansen.

“NAOC [the official acronym for the Organizing Committee for the XVIII Olympic Winter Games, Nagano 1998] and the prefecture of Nagano spent a massive amount of money on bringing the Games here. But no one knows exactly how much, because, as it turned out in an investigation in the Nagano prefectural congress, NAOC officials ‘lost’ all the receipts. No official record exists on how much was spent.”

NAOC expected the entire show to be a profit machine, but, according to Fukushima, locals saw little, if any, of the money. Virtually all construction contracts — shinkansen, roads, bridges — went to Tokyo construction companies. Most industries in Japan form hierarchies; the bigger, older and more prestigious firms tend to be awarded the most business not because they are necessarily the most cost efficient, but because they carry the most clout. Nagano construction companies do not figure high on this list. “The only local people involved in much of the construction were the guys that reroute traffic with flashlights and flags,” Fukushima says.

Any enterprise the size and scale of the Olympics is bound to make lots of people unhappy about the way things are handled. But it will in all likelihood be hard to find fault with the mechanics of how things are run starting Feb. 7. The country’s obsession with order, organization and avoidance of chaos has a long and distinguished history, and it is bound to serve Nagano well during the Games. The one potential glitch — gridlock on the country roads — has been mercilessly planned for, with all kinds of high-tech traffic management and parking systems now in place. State-of-the-art iris scanners, fingerprint identity systems, bar-code ID readers and other technologies will help minimize security risks. Very high resolution giant screen displays installed at every venue and microphones embedded in the snow and ice promise a richer sensory experience than in previous Games. Seiji Ozawa will conduct a performance of Beethoven’s Symphony No. 9 during the opening ceremonies, broadcast live on five continents and linked via satellite, complete with a time-lag adjusting mechanism designed to overcome time-delay problems.

The ’98 Games won’t do for Japan what the ’64 Games did — the country’s first-world status has long been confirmed. But maybe we don’t need such big goals anymore; it will still be a blast. I’m told that the Russian Club will play host to some serious parties — if I could only figure out a way to get in there.

Eric Gower is a writer who lives in Kanagawa, Japan.

Newsreal: Dream girls

America's women figure skaters carry us to a place far, far away. That's why we watch them go through puberty on national television.

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With the Winter Olympics in Nagano, Japan, just three weeks away, America’s best hopes for glory rest on the delicate shoulders of three young women — figure skaters Michelle Kwan, 17, Tara Lipinski, 15, and Nicole Bobek, 20. They placed first, second and third respectively at the U.S. Figure Skating Championships in Philadelphia last weekend, and some sports commentators suggest that they could sweep the figure skating medals in Nagano — a feat never before achieved in a single Winter Olympics event.

The excitement surrounding these athletes is spurred by more than the prospect of Olympic success. Figure skating has become one of America’s most popular spectator sports, commanding huge television audiences, lucrative endorsements and fame for its star performers. It also engenders personal rivalries whose ferocity can stand in sharp contrast to the fluid beauty of the sport. Some 45 million households — the sixth largest TV audience ever — tuned in to watch Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan battle each other at the 1994 Winter Olympics after the latter was clubbed on the knee by associates of Harding. This year, according to the media, the rivalry to watch is between Kwan and Lipinski — a contest that is expected to make the women’s figure skating competition the most watched event of the entire games.

Christine Brennan, a former sports writer for the Washington Post, takes a close look at the competitive world of Kwan and Lipinski in her forthcoming “Edge of Glory: The Quest for Figure Skating’s Olympic Gold Medals” (Scribner). Brennan also wrote the bestselling “Inside Edge: A Revealing Journey into the Secret World of Figure Skating,” and will be talking with Salon during the Nagano games.

Just how popular is figure skating today?

In terms of TV ratings, figure skating is No. 2, behind NFL football. Just to give you an example of how popular it is — in the women’s finals at the U.S. National Championships in 1995, when Nicole Bobek beat Michelle Kwan, more people watched that on television than the NBA All-Star Game, which was played the next day.

How do you account for this enormous appeal?

There’s a couple of reasons. One is the sheer beauty and grace of the sport. It goes right to the core of the dreams of women and girls. It carries them to a place far, far away. It’s the music, the gorgeous costumes that appeal so much; it’s a little bit of dress-up on the ice. And that’s 51 percent of the population right there.

And for the guys?

For the men who watch — and there are many — figure skating is raw, pure sport. There is no sport that has a more non-negotiable moment of decision than figure skating. Football has a fourth down. In basketball, you get a second free throw. In tennis, you get a second serve. In baseball you get a third strike. In figure skating, when Brian Boitano took off from the ice in Norway in 1994 to go into his triple axel combination jump, he was the gold medal favorite. One second later, when he came crashing down to the ice, falling and stumbling, it was over. Gone. There’s no other sport where an entire career can be wrapped up in just one second on the ice. That’s what keeps you on the edge of your seat and that’s what helps explain the ratings. Dramatically, it’s good stuff.

Now everyone is looking to Michelle Kwan, Tara Lipinski and Nicole Bobek for the drama in Nagano. How do you think they’ll do?

Let’s be clear on something. On the U.S. women’s team, there’s one legend, and that is Michelle Kwan. Then there are two other good skaters. It’s very, very, important to make that distinction. The media has built up this rivalry between Michelle and Tara Lipinski. There is no such rivalry. The rivalry is Michelle vs. Michelle. She may be the greatest skater who has ever lived. Last weekend in Philadelphia, she performed a set of programs greater than anyone in the history of the sport in the United States, male or female. No one has ever had two performances like that back-to-back. Ever. Peggy Fleming, Dorothy Hamill, Dick Button, Brian Boitano, Scott Hamilton — no one. If Michelle Kwan skates at the Olympics the way she did in Philadelphia, her name will never be forgotten by sports fans. She will join the legends of the sport.

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What made her programs so exceptional?

First of all, they were skated to very difficult music. She chose two piano pieces by Rachmaninov for her short program, and “Lyra Angelica” by William Allwin performed by the London Philharmonic for her long program. No one has ever skated to these pieces before. The music was much more intricate than, say, a movie soundtrack or a Broadway show tune, and therefore much more difficult to skate to. Second, she was perfect in her jumps and her spins. And she did all that with a fractured toe! She’s like Michael Jordan on skates. One of the Philadelphia judges, who’s never given a perfect 6.0 score in his life — and he’s been judging for 25 years — gave Michelle Kwan two. He told me it was the greatest thing he had ever seen, that she brought tears to his eyes.

Yet last year, it was Lipinski who grabbed the glory at the World Championships and Kwan who fell.

Last year, Michelle’s body was changing — we’re watching girls go through puberty on national television — and she had some trouble dealing with that. Those mistakes created Tara. Tara walked through the door, but it was Michelle who opened the door. This year, Tara doesn’t seem to have the pizazz and the spark. She’s grown a little bit, but she’s still tiny. She doesn’t have the presence. That’s not her fault, but it makes you wonder whether last year should have happened for her. If it hadn’t happened, maybe she’d just be moving up nicely. But now she’s being scrutinized so much, and Michelle has come roaring back.

You think Lipinski is in over her head?

She’s still a very good skater. And given the volatile nature of this sport, if Michelle falls in the short program in Nagano, then Tara could win the gold medal. But only if Michelle makes a mistake. If she skates clean in the short and long programs, she’s the gold medalist. You can take that to the bank. In a way her loss last year was the best thing that ever could have happened to her. It fired her up incredibly. It forced her to think, to change things, to look at herself in a different way, and clearly she’s come back stronger than ever.

How does the third woman on the U.S. team, Nicole Bobek, rate?

She’s the ultimate showgirl on ice, the All-American blond bombshell. In Philadelphia, she looked great. Artistically, I believe she’s better than Lipinski. If she had trained properly and not moved from coach to coach — she’s had 10 so far — she could have been the greatest figure skater in the world. She’s got the looks, the ability. But she didn’t train. She’s the opposite of Michelle Kwan and Tara Lipinski, both of whom are dedicated workhorses. Nicole Bobek? Hey, a couple of cigarettes, hang out with the guys. This is her life. So the training isn’t there, and now she runs out of gas in the last half of her long program. Also the technical difficulty of her jumps is nowhere near those of Michelle and Tara, and I don’t think she can get them at this point. Still, if Nicole gets her act together between now and the Olympics, she could take a silver. With Bobek, you just don’t know. She could be great, or she could finish 10th.

There’s talk of a U.S. sweep of the women’s figure skating medals. How likely is that?

There’s always a chance, but I think in general international judges would prefer not to see three U.S. flags hoisted up in the international arena in Nagano. All things being equal, I think they’d like to see someone else get in there. The most likely person who could sneak in is Tanya Sheshenko of Germany, who is very good. But I can’t see her winning the gold, and if Tara is on, Tara should win the silver. So at this point I would say it’s Sheshenko and Bobek fighting it out for the bronze.

How much personal rivalry exists between Kwan and Lipinski, and how much is media hype?

The rivalry — if there is one at all — is purely a one-way affair. Michelle doesn’t even think about Tara. She’s on another wavelength. She’s thinking about her place in history. Tara, however, is obsessed by Michelle.

Speaking of rivalry, whatever happened to Tonya Harding?

The last I heard of her, she was living with some family, unemployed, no money. She had her truck repossessed. She got kidnapped a year ago by some bushy-haired man, although we’re not quite sure whether that was real or not. She got away, but of course the police never found him. And the kidnapping just happened to occur the same week as the U.S. National Figure Skating Championships. What a coincidence. This is why I love this sport so. It just doesn’t get any better — from the ridiculous Tonya to the sublime Michelle Kwan. There’s nothing like this sport. Nothing like it at all.

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Jonathan Broder is Salon's Washington correspondent.

The Inuit Olympics

Mary Roach reports on the Inuit Games, an annual competition involving Head Pulls, Knuckle Hops and other daunting competitions 100 miles north of the Arctic Circle.

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Once you cross the Canadian border, sports start going strange on you. Football has three downs. A town will have a curling club instead of a bowling league. The farther north, the odder it gets. Golf is played on gravel and baseball has two bases.

I am 100 miles north of the Arctic Circle, about to watch a sporting event called the Head Pull. It’s part of the Baffin Inuit Games, being held in Igloolik, a small town on a small island off the northwest coast of Baffin Island. The Inuit Games are one of six annual Northern Games, held each summer in different regions of the Northwest Territories. (Canada’s Eskimos prefer to be called Inuit. “Eskimo” was originally a Cree epithet meaning “eater of raw flesh.” The Cree had obviously never tasted caribou sashimi.)

The Head Pull is pretty much what it sounds like: big strong men pulling on each other’s heads. Two Inuit lie face-to-face on their bellies, heads linked by a loop of canvas cargo webbing. At the signal, they attempt to pull one another, by the head, over the line between them.

The Inuit Games guidelines list 12 pulls. Not all of them will be part of the week’s events. The Ear Pull, for example, has been omitted owing to health and safety concerns. Ditto the Mouth Pull (“Competitor grabs mouth of opponent …”) and the Ear Lift (“The weight is looped around any ear and the competitor … walks forward, carrying it with his ear for as far a distance as his ear will allow”).

Aside from an occasional tendency toward the gruesome, the main identifying feature of Inuit sport is its compactness. Games are divided as follows: Pulls, pushes, reaches, kicks, twists and rotations. The entire Olympiad could be staged in a large walk-in closet.

It’s not for want of space. North of the tree line, space is the prevailing — one might almost say the only — geographical feature. Baffin is tundra, a scrabbly blanket of moss and shale laid out without a wrinkle. Up here, minute changes of elevation are optimistically dubbed hills. Caribou antlers are nailed up on posts, as though to compensate for the missing trees. (Lest you think it an unalluring locale, imagine a four-hour, 360-degree sunset at midnight.)

Inuit Games are compact for the simple reason that they are indoor sports. The Inuit practiced plenty of outdoor athletics — hunting, sledding, marathon walking — but this wasn’t sport, it was life. The Games were what you did to pass the time when the blizzards hit and you couldn’t see to hunt. And igloos were small — not much larger than the jump circle on a basketball court.

That is, in fact, where this week’s games are being staged: center court in the Ataguttaaluk School gymnasium. Igloolik has no sports arena or landscaped playing fields. This is less a matter of funding than of geology. North of 60 degrees latitude, the ground is permafrost: rock-hard most of the year, muck the rest of it. Grass won’t grow. Buildings have to be set on posts to keep from sinking in the thaw. Architectural diversity is more trouble than it’s worth; the town is basically boxes on a flat surface. I saw a picture of it in winter. It looked like inside my freezer.

The official motions for quiet. As the crowd numbers fewer than 100, this is not hard to achieve. However, as many are children, it is somewhat hard to maintain. A pair of toddlers are carrying out a competition of their own, the winner being the one who can shriek the loudest while running wind sprints across the gym floor. The athletes barely pay it mind. I remark on this to one of the coaches. “Why would they get mad?” he says. “If something messes you up, oh well. There’s other events.”

Competition runs somewhat counter to the Inuit character. To survive an Arctic winter, communities worked together and everything was shared. A great hunter had no more food than the next guy; he just threw more dinner parties. Why, then, have the games been turned into a competition? Because otherwise there would be no Inuit Games. Left to their own devices, modern Inuit teens prefer to spend their time playing basketball and watching Much TV (Canada’s answer to MTV). An impromptu survey of T-shirts and baseball caps in the gym today reveals 17 sports logos and 11 heavy metal bands.

This is not to say that the athletes don’t care whether they win. The winning team has a chance to compete in the international Arctic Winter Games. Depending on which country is hosting them, this could mean a trip to Russia, Finland, Greenland or Alaska.

Down in the ring, the winning head is nodding and grinning. It belongs to a local heart-breaker named Bobby. Someone has written “I love you, Bobby” in ball-point on his arm. Bobby wears a cigarette lighter in a fringed leather pouch around his neck, as though it were an ornament. Given that a pack of Rothmann’s costs more than $10, it may well be.

The irony of 24-hour daylight is that it happens where you need it least. Polar
towns provide the longest days in the world and very little to fill them with. Igloolik has
no restaurants, bars, movie theaters or museums. (Graffiti on the town water tank:
“What to do?”)

Games week is an exception. Every night there’s a community event: harpoon
throwing, drum dancing, a whipping contest (empty pop cans standing in for sled dogs).
Tonight it’s bannock-making. Bannock is a Scottish quickbread, introduced, along with
jigs, tea and tuberculosis, by whalers in the 19th century.

Bannock-making is part of the Good Woman contest. Before Inuit women won the
right to pull heads and twist fingers, their participation in the Northern Games was largely
limited to Good Woman competitions. “The Good Woman,” to quote official Games
literature, “is chosen for her skills and talent (seal-skinning, bannock-making, caribou-cutting, etc.) rather than her looks.”

The schedule says 7 p.m., but it doesn’t say where. Someone suggests the baseball
diamond. People up here are laboring under the delusion that it’s warm outside (it’s 40
degrees) and have scheduled most of the evening activities outdoors.

People are on the baseball diamond, but they’re not making bannock. I’m not altogether
sure what they’re doing. A batter has hit a fly ball, and a catcher has caught it. Rather than
return the ball to the pitcher, the catcher chases the batter and throws the ball at him. The
batter returns to the sidelines. He is apparently out, or perhaps just sore.

The man standing beside me says it’s a combination of “Northern” and regular baseball.

“How many strikes?” I ask him.

“They’re still trying to decide that.”

The Inuit are not big on rules. Earlier, I asked a Games official how many people there
are on a Northern baseball team. He replied that it didn’t matter, so long as “there’s lots of
people.” One of this evening’s teams appears to be a bit short. “Where are the
outfielders?” I ask the man next to me. He ponders this quietly. “They’re not out there. I
don’t know why.”

The bannock contest, it turns out, is over at the outdoor skating rink. As it’s summer,
there is no ice in the rink, only gravel and dirt. Igloolik’s skating rink looks very much like
its baseball diamond, which both look very much like the lawns, the hotel grounds and the
beach.

Women are hunkered down in front of portable Coleman stoves and great hulking
icebergs of Crisco. The winning sample is passed around. It’s sort of a round, oily biscuit,
or round, biscuity oil. I seek out the judge to ask how the winning entry tastes different
from the others.

“I don’t know,” he says. “I haven’t had any.”

“So how do you know hers is the best?”

“She finished first.” In a land with no timber and $1-an-ounce propane, a Good Woman is
one who can make four batches before the fire goes out.

Julie Oolayou is the Flo-Jo of the Inuit Games. She’s broken three records and is about to
break another, the One-Foot High Kick. Clarification: “One foot” refers to the number of
feet with which you kick, not the height of the kick (unless you are a visiting spastic
journalist, in which case it refers to both).

The high kick is one of the few Inuit games that require equipment. As a rule, Arctic
nomads tended to shun athletic endeavors that necessitated hauling racquets and shoulder
pads across the tundra. What little equipment is used tends to be things you’d find lying
around the igloo. Under the equipment heading for Parka Rotation, for example, the text
reads simply, “big parka.” Traditionally, the high kick target was hung from the ceiling
of the igloo. Here, it hangs from a wooden high kick stand, a simple, spindly gallows,
like what you draw to play Hangman.

Oolayou removes one shoe and one sock, revealing an ankle bracelet and an Edmonton
Oilers rub-on tattoo. She takes three easy strides, crouches and springs, clearing seven
feet the way other people hop a curb.

Next up is Oolayou’s rival, Leona Nakashuk. She spits on her sneaker soles. She eyes
the target, a small sealskin seal hanging at eye level. In the stands, an old man begins
chanting songs of the elders. Rattled, Nakashuk breaks her advance. “Anaq!” (This is a
word in Inuktitut, the Inuit native tongue. It means, “Shit.”)

Six minutes and as many false starts go by. There seems to be no time limit. This
doesn’t surprise me. Where day goes on all night and night is six months long, time is a
fuzzy concept. Ask someone how long it takes to cross the bay by motorboat, and he’ll
answer you in gallons, not minutes. I ask games coordinator Angie Luciani if the lack of
time limit has to do with the Inuit concept of time. Actually, it has more to do with the
Inuit concept of planning. “There’s supposed to be a three-minute limit,” Luciani says.
“But nobody brought a stopwatch.”

To understand the Knuckle Hop, it helps to have played Bloody Knuckles. To be sure,
strength and skill are required — you are hopping on toes and fists with your body flat-out
rigid in between. But what is key here is that you are landing on your knuckles. With no
gloves. On a wood floor. The Knuckle Hop, says acting official Gabriel Nirlungayuk, “is
about how much pain you can endure.”

The most coveted seats, therefore, are the ones with a view of the nurses’ station. I
watch as a succession of grimacing men run up and plunge their fists into bowls of ice
water. Their knuckles are dotted with round raw nicks, as though someone went after
them with a potato peeler.

There is no Women’s Knuckle Hop. This is either outrageous sexism on the part of the
men, or outrageous good sense on the part of the women.

I can’t tell you much about the closing ceremonies, as they’re being held in Inuktitut. The
mayor is giving a speech, and the audience has taken the opportunity to chat with their
friends about the polar bear spotted outside town and the rumor that star athlete Kristine
Ootova has a hickey beneath her scarf. It is unclear whether this has to do with the
popularity of the mayor (low) or the popularity of speeches (very low). (Earlier this week, a
visiting politician stopped his speech to reassure his straying audience that he was “almost
finished, OK?”)

The mayor passes the ceremonial blubber lamp (Baffin’s answer to the Olympic torch) to
the mayor of Hall Beach, site of next year’s games. The Inuit Games are officially closed.
A group of athletes pushes aside the folding chairs and the High Kick seal and breaks out
a box of basketballs.

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Former Salon columnist Mary Roach is working on a book about science and cadavers, for W.W. Norton

Newsreal: Free the Boulder Two!

Everybody thinks John or Patsy Ramsey, or both, killed their daughter JonBenet. But 10 months after the murder, the police have nothing solid -- except smears that they feed to the press.

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i always wanted to be unique, and now I’ve made it: I’m the only person in America — apart from the two accused — who thinks that John and Patsy Ramsey are being publicly destroyed for a crime they didn’t commit.

Perhaps I’m merely ignorant. I don’t have access to the police files on the case — just the copious “evidence” that’s been leaked steadily to the National Enquirer, the Globe, Newsweek and Vanity Fair by the Boulder, Colo., cops. Problem is, what they’ve got, more than 10 months after the slaying, isn’t anywhere close to an indictment. So they’ve done the next best thing: smeared the Ramseys up and down, with the aid of the press, hoping to make their prime suspects crack. It’s the same tactic the FBI used against Richard Jewell in the Atlanta Olympics bombing case. And, as with the Jewell case, the cops may be flat out wrong.

Let’s look at the case, which rests entirely on circumstantial, often unspeakably tendentious, evidence that the cops have fed to the press.

1. The Ramseys did not act normally after JonBenet’s death.
As Vanity Fair recounts it, as John Ramsey laid his daughter’s body on the floor after discovering it in his cellar, “he started to moan, while peering around to see who was looking at him.” Hmmm. Suspicious. Left unspecified is what constitutes normal behavior when your child has been murdered in your home. Vanity Fair goes to great lengths to portray John Ramsey as a man lacking the ability to express emotions, and it might very well be normal for such a man to moan and look around for help at such a moment.

It might also be normal for this man, in particular, to feel overwhelmed by sick destiny, inasmuch as his wife had been stricken with breast cancer and he had already lived through the death of another child. — reported by the Globe with the following headline: “DADDY ABUSED JONBENET’S SISTER!: Ramsey girl was killed before she could tell.” Actually, the sister died in a car crash, and there is so far no proof that Ramsey “abused” her, however that word is meant.

2. John Ramsey found the body without even looking for it.
According to Vanity Fair, John Ramsey, after being told by a Boulder cop to search for the missing JonBenet, “bolted from the kitchen and headed down to the basement. Fleet White [Ramsey's former friend] told us that Ramsey went directly to a small broken window on the north side of the house and paused … John said, ‘Yeah, I broke it last summer.’” From this, an investigator talking to Vanity Fair concludes, Ramsey “wanted Fleet to see the window to set up an intruder theory, but no one but a small child or a midget could have crawled through that space. While Fleet is looking at the window, John disappears down the hall directly to the little room where the body is.”

Of course, there are other uses for a broken window other than crawling through it. Like reaching through the hole in the glass from the outside and opening the lock. But why did Ramsey go directly to that little room? Perhaps because he had a dreadful intuition of what he might find there, or because of some small sign that only a man who lived in that house would notice.

3. The Ramseys refused to cooperate with police, hired attorneys and went on CNN to cry their innocence.

This is the Ramseys-protest-too-much theory. But since when was calling an attorney evidence of guilt? Any competent attorney would have advised the Ramseys that they would be the immediate prime suspects, because most child murders are committed by parents or relatives. Being told to be wary of the police would seem to be quite sound legal advice. Going on CNN was bizarre, not to mention a ghastly PR failure. But, despite the National Enquirer “experts’” supposed detection of falsehoods in John Ramsey’s voice, it proves absolutely nothing. Vanity Fair found it shockingly significant that Ramsey told CNN, “I don’t know if it was an attack on me, on my company …” Well, Ramsey is in the software business, which may politely be described as cutthroat. He may suffer from the egocentric delusions that are fairly common among self-made men. But that is hardly proof he murdered his daughter.

4. Crucial forensic evidence was apparently removed or erased from the crime scene, or was compromised when Ramsey picked up JonBenet’s body.

Cops have been known to bungle evidence — anyone remember the O.J. trial? — in the most extraordinary ways. And if it was the killer’s work, how does that point ineluctably to John Ramsey? Is he the only one in the state of Colorado who might have read any number of detective novels and police procedurals that provide advanced courses in forensic cover-ups? As for picking up his daughter’s body, with no police officer around to tell him not to, maybe it was the action of a shocked, grieving father. Unless of course, as Vanity Fair insists, the man has no heart.

5. The handwriting on the note.

The only suspect, according to a handwriting analyst, whose writing was in any way similar to the ransom note was Patsy Ramsey. And the note contained a phrase she had been heard to speak: “Use that good, Southern common sense of yours.” First of all, the comparisons are inconclusive, at best. Second of all, handwriting analysis (as Seymour Hersh will mournfully tell you about the fake Marilyn Monroe-JFK letters) is often about as accurate as farting at the moon. But if it was Patsy Ramsey spending hours at the crime scene after the murder painfully composing the “ransom note,” then what was John Ramsey doing? Covering for his wife, as presumably he has been ever since?
Or is it the other way around? Why one would cover for the other, however, is not clear. These are not poor people without means of their own. And if anything, obtaining sole possession of their joint means might be ample reason to turn the other over to the cops.

6. Sick parents exploited, abused and psychologically destroyed their too-beautiful child.

Even before she was murdered, goes the media wisdom,
JonBenet was figuratively dead, her childhood sacrificed on the altar of her parents’ deviant desires. Specifically, the tabloids have suggested that JonBenet was murdered either by accident, in the course of a sex game gone awry or in a panic, brought on by fear she would expose her parent-abuser. The current issue of Globe says that Patsy killed JonBenet in a rage over her bed-wetting (there were urine stains on the
underwear of the victim) and that John is merely covering up for her.

In the classic study of such killings, Philip J. Resnick’s “Child Murder by Parents: A Psychiatric Review of Filicide,” such “accidents” accounted for 12 percent of Resnick’s 131 cases. But most of them happened when the killer was in a sudden rage over something the child did (or was seen as having done). JonBenet was garroted — the autopsy report notes the “deep furrow” on her neck — which does not suggest a spontaneous assault. While it doesn’t rule out a deliberate murder, it is very rare for a husband and wife to collude in such a crime. Resnick notes “scattered reports where both husband and wife planned the murder … usually because they could see no way out of their poverty.” Does that sound like the Ramseys?

What it comes down to is this: The Ramseys are being accused of an abomination less on the basis of evidence than on our censorious expectations about what parents should be. The Ramseys do not weep enough. They dressed up their little girl like a grown-up — like a whore. They made her perform for strangers. They wanted her to be a paperback version of themselves. By destroying what is left of the Ramsey family, we can persuade ourselves that they inhabit another world, one that the rest of us of course renounce.

But that doesn’t make the Ramseys killers. Sure, there are troubling aspects to the case. If it was an outsider, where are the footprints? What are we to make of Patsy Ramsey’s broken paintbrush? Still, I would rather be wrong about their guilt later than wrong about their presumption of innocence now. And I won’t believe they are guilty until I see much better evidence than the unexamined bits and pieces and groundless suppositions thrown at us by a blitheringly incompetent police department and a sensation-seeking press corps.

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Mark Hunter has written for the New York Times Magazine, Le Monde Diplomatique and Modern Maturity, among other publications. He has won numerous awards, including the H.L. Mencken Award.

Hong Kong Diary: June 26, four days to handover

The glitterati pour into Hong Kong four days before handover

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the planes are coming in half-empty, most of the hotels are lying half-full. Everyone is saying of Hong Kong today that it is much like Los Angeles was during the 1984 Olympics; unnaturally empty, because all the ordinary would-be travelers were scared off by the gloomy talk of last spring, when the received wisdom was that everything over the handover period would be full, totally full.

The great and the good are pouring in nonetheless, preparing for what they expect will be the party of a lifetime. Actresses and models and society grand dames are here in abundance. Lauren Hutton is here, for some undefined reason. So is Yo-Yo Ma, who has come to play at the reunification concert. Margaret Thatcher is expected, taking a suite at the Mandarin for $10,000 a day. The trio of Jennings, Rather and Brokaw are all here, standing on street corners and making serious faces into expensive cameras, mouthing their customary platitudes, live from the exotic Orient.

The king of Tonga, a man so massively heavy that his hotel has to give him a bed reinforced with iron, has arrived. Tony Blair is going to look in briefly, as is, from Washington, Madeleine Albright and a junior bureaucrat named Richard Boucher, who will attend the Communists’ swearing-in that the White House had earlier said it would rather boycott.

But all the photographers — and there are thousands here already — are busy looking out for a glamorous British society woman and professional party animal named Tara Palmer-Tompkinson, whose only declared interest in finding a marriageable partner is to ensure, as she puts it, “that she never has to turn right when entering a plane.” And David Tang, a tycoon and playboy who is set to open a Chinese clothing store in New York next November, is being interviewed by everyone — Brokaw included — trying to make the case for the new China being now seriously chic.

The Hong Kong handover, in short, seems in sudden danger of becoming a frivolous and bubbly affair, attracting mainly the international society set, and of being commercialized to the hilt. Never before has a moment of international history seemed so tinted by the spirit of Disneyland. It is rather like the Treaty of Paris being sponsored by Gucci, or having Metternich perform synchronized swimming while carving up the Hapsburg empire, or giving up V-E day to the sale of Kodak film.

The whole business is rapidly shifting from being a grave affair of state, a truly historic, end-of-era moment, and becoming instead as tawdry as the Atlanta Olympics. The simile is apt: Next Tuesday’s celebratory fireworks, supposedly the biggest and gaudiest in world history, are being organized by one of last year’s Atlanta team, prompting one to wonder, among other considerations, just how tasteful an event we are in for.

(One’s curiosity on this score may well be satisfied by yesterday’s announcement that the handover is going to be followed by an hour of something called “mass karaoke,” doubtless every bit as dire as it sounds, and which probably hints at the general tone of the evening.)

For the moment, though, everything looks and feels more or less as usual. The Star ferries chuckle back and forth across the harbor, dodging the frequent squalls. The Peak Tram hitches itself up the alarming slope, taking commuting lawyers and bankers from home to office. The jets bank steeply on their approach into Kai Tak airport.

The courts preside, the legislators argue, the police patrol — and supreme above it all, the governor sits calmly in Government House, saying his farewells to his retinue. He is getting a year’s paycheck by way of golden parachute: half a million dollars, tax-free. The soldiers of the Black Watch are sitting around in their barracks, waiting to skirl their way into the history books with bagpipe laments composed by their own pipe-major, in a ceremony due in what is now just a few dozen hours.

The contrast between the rank vulgarity of what seems about to happen next week and the serenely old-fashioned realities of the end of British rule is going to be quite stunning. One sign on Connaught Road, suspended from an awning, seemed to catch the spirit: “Handover Sale, all goods off 40%, this day only.” The Chinese, who have a formidable aptitude for making money out of any given situation, are cashing in on this one too: reunification with the motherland, hotel rooms going cheap, ticket touts on hand and mass karaoke, 50 bucks a song.

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Simon Winchester is a contributing editor for Salon Wanderlust. He has previously written about Hong Kong, the Kurile Islands and China.

The Awful Truth

Women's Olympic Gymnastics: As wrong as veal

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“can you see them? Can you see them? Little girls, dancing, dancing for gold.” This was the Redi-Whip poetic musing of John Tesh over a blurry montage of the tiny airborne buttocks and barrette-covered cupie heads of our “Magnificent Seven,” America’s colossally depressing women’s gymnastic team. Dominique Dawes, formerly a cat-eyed ball of lightning, now over the hill at 19. Shannon Miller, brimming with negative anti-charisma, her expression ranging from pain to scorn, fear to humiliation, boredom to hatred. Dominique Moceanu, the plague of cuteness, whom every advertiser was circling like vultures around a stumbling ibex — a perky lil’ American tumble bunny all ready-for-shelving at Toys R’ Us, with Big Gulps and Burger King Happy Meals prematurely climaxing at the thought of pressing her into a plastic action pony with long, combable hair. Kerri Strug, homely and afraid, who wasn’t cute enough to be loved by America until she crushed her ankle with the bases loaded in the ninth. And those other Midwestern girls who’ve never had a real life other than bulimia and blood blisters and chest binding and galloping tendonitis, whose growths have been willfully stunted like bonsai trees.

These poor young women must be set free. Who are the idiots who told them that winning a gold medal at the Olympics would be worth sacrificing their height, their self-image, their entire childhood and their bodily comfort forever? Sure, they can jump and twist and handspring about like superballs, but Christ, get them off the mat and they all look like a monsoon just hit their home and drowned everything they ever loved. All this is compounded by the chattering heads of their horrific stage parents with their inky tentacles groping for vicarious glory, weeping and sputtering and waving little flags with their eyes rolling back in their heads, awash in their strange addiction. They are not much better than those parents in Calcutta who poke eyes out of their toddlers or hack them off at the knees to make it a more pitiable beggar. Gymnastics must be destroyed.

The gymnastics aesthetic looks like it was created by a bunch of dangerously repressed old Quakers. The unlistenable, frantically upbeat, Germanic orchestral power music, the bad leotards, and the strange choreography (whose roots are nowhere to be found in the world of dance) have devolved into an absurd display of heroic suffering and contortionism and a mockery of teen femininity — something like a neo-Christian peep show, with hardcore ambition being the pornographic element. Before the games “Sixty Minutes” featured a segment on a sad blonde former gymnast who discussed her relationship with her coach. “I grew breasts and he called me a fat cow,” she lamented, her eyes still overbright with thinly contained self-loathing, smiling with her teeth. “I’ve been bulimic ever since.”

Nothing exists after gymnastics. These poor creatures turn five circles in the air trying to fly closer to the sun, only to be eventually defeated by gravity and puberty, and spend the rest of their lives as travel agents with terrible secrets who don’t work and play well with others.

Case in point: the obvious misery of Queen Nadia, the former world’s most perfect, wrapped in too much makeup and emotional murk on the sidelines. This is not a woman brimming over with enthusiasm and love for the art form. She still hates everything. Her eyes stab out of their painted holes like sharp pieces of obsidian; her body language nails her off like a condemned building.

There is some unwritten law that says that only virgins can be acceptable gymnastic hopefuls, because once the women start to look more adult and sexualized, the impish scampering and bent-wrist coquettishness start to look like the over-the-top beckonings of a palsied crack hooker. Nobody wants to see liquid eyeliner, buttock gyrations and the pain of sexual knowing on the faces of these 4-foot-ten elf girls. Some of the Russian women, for example, had a stone-ground unwholesomeness in their faces and eyes, like they were about to patrol the streets for bored townies the second they got off the mat. “Hey American! You vatch Olympic on TV? You are 21 can buy Zima Clearmalt? Ve got pills. Get in van.” Rap music, tinted windows, lascivious scream-cackling, legs at impossible angles hanging out the driver’s side window.

The heartwrenching stories were another travesty. “Little Natalia was ripped from her mother’s womb with a set of ice tongs by Communists and given to Dimitri, the unfeeling taskmaster who would be her trainer for life. Natalia developed her upper body strength dragging corpses over the harsh terrain of the steppes to the local incinerator, near the ice cave she called home. Dmitri would tell Natalia hourly during her rigorous 17-hour training sessions that if she stopped moving she’d be clubbed by trolls. Sleeping with only a sheet of used aluminum foil for a blanket and a tray of radioactive beef to keep her warm, Natalia dreamed of the day she would be able to fly. And fly she does. Winning is all she knows, this tot-faced little angel, and if she doesn’t bring home gold for her country, her little body may be sold and converted to shark chum.” Cut to shots of Natalia rubbing rock salt into her bleeding hands, having her head shaved for lice, praying in front of a huge, green, dead Jesus.

America hosted this Olympics like a bunch of mobsters — we did everything but crowbar the kneecaps of our opponents, what with the alleged bad lodging and timeslots doled out to the Romanians, and the terrible din of bellowing Americans stomping and hog-howling with pride for their own during the routines of other athletes. The bombing was the perfect manifestation of everything terribly wrong with us — our ugly brutish power, our gracelessness, our dumb inability to be elegant in any way, our might-wielding and caveman animosity.

We must stop taxidermizing these children with steroids and propaganda and turning them into joyless go-bots. If we can’t do that, we should at least let them flip around to the music of their choice and put more artistry into the program instead of tethering their talents to the dumb specifications of a bunch of unlubricated clipboard Nazis. If we’re going to ruin their lives, they should at least get to enjoy it a little before they have to begin the long years of psychotherapy it will require for them to become human again. Let those poor little women get drunk and laid on the couch before it’s too late.

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Cintra Wilson is a culture critic and author whose books include "A Massive Swelling: Celebrity Re-Examined as a Grotesque, Crippling Disease" and "Caligula for President: Better American Living Through Tyranny." Her new book, "Fear and Clothing: Unbuckling America's Fashion Destiny," will be published by WW Norton.

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