"30 Rock's" Alec Baldwin and "The Office's" John Krasinski have figured out what they're doing with their off-season, and that's punching each other in the face about baseball. No, seriously. In this series for New Era Caps, Baldwin goes head to head with Jim Halpert over their Red Sox/Yankees rivalry. So far there have been three spots, and if you play them in succession it's kind of like watching a crossover episode between the two shows.

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And with this warm weather comes tons of pop culture news stories that are just to the right of funky. We've rounded up some of the stranger stuff that we missed this week, and leave it up to you to decide if maybe being raptured wasn't such a bad idea.

1. People who think the Onion's headlines are real: Oh, it happens. And now it's a Tumblr. (Expect a book deal in the near future.)

2. Abed from "Community" shows up on "Cougar Town":

Easter egg for the super fans and the people who love Subway.

3. OWN picks up new series, "Don't Tell the Bride": Groom and future wife are separated for a month before the wedding; he has to make all the decisions about planning the event. Hope she likes nachos and a boob-shaped cake.

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No, wait, scratch that. Her show wasn't truly about Oprah at all. It was about you. All of you. But especially you, the individual sitting there watching her "every day," as she said.

She had a message for you, the individual. Several messages, actually -- and they were all intertwined: Take responsibility for your life. Be honest with yourself and others. Be responsible for the energy you put out in the world, because that energy comes back around eventually. Also: There is a God, or a life force, and you should get to know him/her/it, because he/she/it can improve your judgment and guide your life.

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Oddly enough, Oprah spent most of her show not trending on Twitter, though "surprise" guests like Tom Hanks, Michael Jordan, Maya Angelou, Jerry Seinfeld, Jamie Foxx, Stedman and Gayle all did. I use quotation marks because there are no surprise guests for Oprah ... if Obama himself had taken the stage to wish her well, it would not have been that unexpected.

So perhaps the biggest surprise of today was a heartfelt speech by Oprah's silent partner Stedman Graham. Looking nervous, Stedman said that he didn't know of anyone else who could change so many people's lives and also bring a bagged lunch to work.

Meanwhile, Dr. Maya Angelou's contribution to the ceremony was a new poem, which she read accompanied by Alicia Keyes on the piano:

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Winfrey's entire empire is built on the idea that miracles -- not just good fortune or persistence or community but honest-to-God miracles -- are within our reach every day. They're in both the amaaaaazing pants that make your butt look smaller and in the sister you never knew you had.  And as her daytime run dwindles down to a final two episodes, let us pause for a moment to praise a woman who has managed to keep viewers believing, right up to the very end.

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You almost feel bad for Oprah: Back when she was starting out, a media personality had to fight hard to win a loyal audience and a fan base. In the era of Twitter and direct celebrity-to-fan interaction, you don't need to prove yourself over a period of years, you just have to make sure that you're a trending topic out of the gate. Then again, Oprah is still the richest celebrity out there, with a net worth of $290 million, so we doubt she's doing much crying.

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"Thank you is not enough, but thank you," Winfrey told the crowd of 13,000 gathered at Chicago's United Center on Tuesday night for "Surprise Oprah! A Farewell Spectacular." "For your love and your support, thank you."

The crowd gave Winfrey a standing ovation when she first walked on the stage. Then the stars came out, with Winfrey's producers making good on their promise of the biggest celebrities of movies, music and television.

Aretha Franklin sang "Amazing Grace." Tom Hanks acted as host for the evening. Michael Jordan, who led the Chicago Bulls to six NBA championships during the 1990s, told Winfrey she inspires him. Tom Cruise, famous for his couch jumping on Winfrey's show, was there. Jerry Seinfeld wore a tuxedo to give a comedy routine. And Madonna said she is among the millions of people who are inspired by Winfrey.

"She fights for things she believes in, even if it makes her unpopular," Madonna said.

Winfrey announced in November 2009 that she would end her popular talk show after 25 years. Tuesday's taping will air May 23 and 24, before Winfrey's final show on May 25.

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In the pantheon of classic Oprah moments, there's the wagon of fat. There's Tom Cruise jumping around on the furniture like a man whose chamomile tea has not yet kicked in. There's the car giveaway, a moment that set off screams whose echoes are still circling the globe. And then there's Frey Day -- the classic 2006 confrontation between the queen of daytime and the man whose best-selling Oprah Book Club pick turned out to be more riddled with holes than SpongeBob SquarePants.

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"Oprah apologized to James a couple of years ago, and he appreciated it. So he agreed to go back on her show and talk about everything that's happened over the last five years."

Sorry, I missed that: What did Oprah apologize to James Frey for? Calling him out on lying about his memoir? Creating a firestorm that drew enough international attention that James was able to create a writer-factory to churn out teen alien romance novels, befriend artists and intern for Gawker? I actually think Oprah should be apologizing to us, not Frey.

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It's an idea that Kathryn Lofton explores in "Oprah: The Gospel of an Icon." Assistant professor of American studies and religious studies at Yale, Lofton sees religious preaching methods in the way Oprah hosts her show, as well as a formulaic, sermon-like approach to every topic -- whether it's healing the wounds of sexual abuse or what new exfoliating cream you should buy. Oh Oprah, who art on television, tell us how to live a good life.

Salon spoke to Lofton over the phone about Oprah's message, the daytime guru's own skeptical views of religion, and what our love of Oprah tells us about the American hunger for help and guidance.

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Wow, she was not kidding with this "most spectacular season ever" stuff. On Monday's show, she introduced to the world the half-sister she only recently learned she had. "It's a process," an astonished Oprah told her audience. "I'm still processing!"

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Winfrey announced on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" that aired on Monday that a Milwaukee woman named Patricia discovered that the two were half-sisters.

The woman says she had been searching for years for the identity of the mother who gave her up for adoption in 1963. She says she learned in 2007 that Winfrey was her half-sister. On her program, Winfrey says she learned about Patricia last November.

Winfrey says she was 9 years old and living with her father when her mother had the daughter and gave her up for adoption. She says she never even knew her mother was pregnant.

Winfrey says the two met on Thanksgiving day.

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Answers: It's 11:35 a.m. on January 1, 2011. I'm foggy and cranky because I celebrated a bit too much on New Years' Eve. And now I'm sitting here at my computer instead of being curled up in bed like a newly-hatched shrimp because I've been assigned to write about the New Year's Day debut of OWN , a.k.a. the Oprah Winfrey Network, a.k.a. the pet project of Oprah Winfrey, a.k.a. the reigning monarch of self-help and outgoing poobah of daytime TV, a.k.a. the person preventing me from sleeping off this cursed hangover.

Damn you, Oprah. I despise you and your commercialized inspirational pap. You must be destroyed. Torn apart by ferrets. Tossed into the maw of an active volcano. Disintegrated by Marvin Martian's IridiumIlludium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator. Get thee behind me, Oprah. I will not succumb to your cult-of-personality Amway malarkey. Stop smiling at me and talking in those soothing tones! Your voodoo doesn't work on me! I hate you!

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Her long personal and professional connection with Gayle King has sparked rumors that they are gay, but Winfrey denies it in an upcoming interview with ABC's Barbara Walters.

"I'm not even kind of a lesbian," Winfrey says.

Persistent gossip to the contrary annoys her, she says, explaining that, if it were true, "Why would you want to hide it? That is not the way I run my life."

Asked to describe her relationship with King, Winfrey calls her "the mother I never had, the sister everybody would want. She is the friend that everybody deserves." Winfrey's eyes moisten and her voice chokes as she adds, "I don't know a better person."

Winfrey will end her daytime talk show next spring and, on Jan. 1, is launching a cable channel, the Oprah Winfrey Network.

That new venture has given her moments of panic.

"I would wake up in the middle of the night literally like clutching my chest, like, 'What have I done?'" she tells Walters.

"A Barbara Walters Special: Oprah, The Next Chapter" will air Thursday at 9 p.m. Eastern.  Walters showed a clip of the interview during an appearance on "Good Morning America" this morning:

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Starting Friday, a song written by the Black Eyed Peas member will be heard as part of nationwide theater advertising for the OWN channel.

The song, titled "Own It," is part of the new channel's marketing campaign and will be the theme song for a talent show on OWN. The song "Own It" also is a bonus track on the newly released Black Eyed Peas album, "The Beginning."

Winfrey's cable network will launch on Jan. 1. Its full name is OWN: Oprah Winfrey Network. A joint venture of Winfrey's Harpo Inc. and Discovery Communications Inc., it will replace the Discovery Health channel.

Will.i.am will be featured on the OWN channel next summer in a series about the creative process.

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The former president appeared Tuesday in a taped episode of "The Oprah Winfrey Show" to promote his new memoir "Decision Points."

Bush told Winfrey he doesn't criticize President Barack Obama because he didn't like people criticizing him when he was president.

Bush says the world is better off without Saddam Hussein, even though the invasion that toppled the Iraqi leader was based on faulty intelligence.

He says he didn't land in New Orleans right after Katrina because he was worried about taking resources away from the recovery.

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Harpo Productions released a schedule Friday, including a show featuring Bush discussing his memoir, "Decision Points," on Nov. 9 -- the day of its release.

No date was given for the Jacksons' interview. The production company says Katherine Jackson will talk about her son's life from childhood stardom to his death. She'll be joined by her husband, Joe Jackson.

Singer and actress Barbra Streisand will appear for an interview and a rare performance Nov. 16.

On Nov. 2, Ricky Martin will talk about raising twin boys and his decision to come out as gay.

This is the 25th and final season of Winfrey's talk show.

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Oprah Winfrey surprised audience members at Comedy Central's "The Daily Show" on Thursday by saying she's sending them to Washington, D.C. this month. That's where host Jon Stewart is hosting his "Rally to Restore Sanity" in politics.

The daytime talk queen is famous for treating her audience to trips. Last month she gave people attending the first episode of her final season a trip Down Under.

She appeared via satellite Thursday on "The Daily Show" and told audience members to open red envelopes under their chairs.

Stewart planned the Oct. 30 rally shortly after Fox News Channel's Glenn Beck held one in Washington. Comedy Central's Stephen Colbert joked Thursday that his talk show host character would join Stewart and rename the event the "Rally to Restore Sanity And/Or Fear."

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