Watch the amusing trailer (SFW), below:

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According to a story in the New York Post, a file-sharing website used an anti-piracy service to examine the Vatican's download history and found that, in addition to a taste for crime dramas like "Chicago Fire" and "The Americans," a resident of the Holy See has been illegally downloading porn.

While the IP records don't reveal who is doing the viewing, they do show what is being viewed. According to the Post, this particular Vatican-dweller has a proclivity for adult film stars Lea Lexis and Krissy Lynn and transgender actress Tiffany Starr.

Not surprisingly, no one at the Vatican was willing to comment.

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Yet if reports from the Local, an English-language French newspaper, are to be trusted, that's exactly where scores of enterprising smut peddlars are headed. Recently, the historic Catacombs of Paris has become a popular destination for adult filmmakers, models, and photographers, who are heading sixty feet underground to shoot against the backdrop of millions of human skulls and skeletons.

A spokesman for the Musee Carnavelet, the company that manages the catacombs, says that they receive at least one request for permission to film or take photos there every week. Perhaps unsurprisingly, they are not at all pleased with this trend.

“Obviously, we say no. This is a sacred place, which houses the remains of six million Parisians. We only allow serious or scientific documentaries,” the spokesman said. 

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Colin was under a lot of pressure at work. Yongyong kept insisting he "had a headache."

So the vets intervened. Not with red wine or a week in the Adirondacks, but with porn.

Giant panda porn.

Colin "took great interest in" a film of giant pandas making the beast with two backs, according to a spokesman from the research center. He added that, after a little bit of visual stimulation, there was "no stopping her."

And that's good news, researchers say. Giant pandas remain on the endangered species list and their natural habitat in China is being destroyed by logging.

So good for you, Colin. Eat your bamboo. Watch your porn. Keep keepin' it freaky in the animal kingdom.

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The results? The United States might not be a monarchy, but we definitely have a queen -- and MILF be her name. The search term, which I trust you can look up for yourselves, ranked in the top 10 for virtually every state.

Other findings include a distinctly Midwestern predilection for "creampie" and a lone "mom" in Arizona. Also of interest: Iowans and the good people of Montana rank "parody" porn in their top 10. (Glad that someone is watching "The Sex Files: A Dark XXX Parody.")

We have already learned that one's porn-viewing habits may lead to more progressive ideas about marriage equality, but is it possible that American's shared love of smut can bring us together over other divisive topics, like the Keystone XL Pipeline and the sequester?

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A new study from the University of California-San Diego reveals that "Emergency room visits due to pubic hair grooming mishaps," including oh my God no no noooo "lacerations," increased fivefold between 2002 and 2010, sending an impressive 11,704 pube-scapers to the E.R. The culprits? Scissors and hot wax did some of the damage, but plain-old non-electric-razors accounted for the lion's share, at 83 percent. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be under my desk, rocking slowly back and forth and crying as I think about this.

The study also revealed that below-the-belt grooming isn't just for adult ladies anymore – men accounted for 43.3 percent of the injuries, and almost 30 percent of them were girls under the age of 18. To avoid becoming yet another harrowing grooming gone bad statistic, the researchers advise hair removal aficionados to "Pay attention to where you're placing that razor. Invest in a non-slip bath mat. And don't shave while under the influence of drugs or alcohol." Yeah, don't do that. For the love of God don't do that.

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"Our study suggests that the more heterosexual men, especially less educated heterosexual men, watch pornography, the more supportive they become of same-sex marriage," Indiana University assistant professor and study co-author Paul Wright told the Washington Examiner.

According to recent polls, a majority of Americans now favor legalizing gay marriage, but straight men are still less likely to support it than straight women.

So what does porn do to change their minds?

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Brown is training to be the first-ever porn star in space.

But this mission is strictly off the clock, so you can forget about any zero-gravity sex stuff. "Trying to have sex in space is a little difficult,” she told the Sun. “You just really don’t have that much control. There would be nothing keeping you together.”

Far from having an astronaut fetish or other sexy motivations, Brown is just genuinely interested in space. When the opportunity to go came up, she jumped at the chance. "I was at a luncheon in Berlin and I was specially invited and they were talking about going into space. It's that simple," she told the Huffington Post.

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Porn? On the Internet? Who would have thought.

And rather than flying under the radar, this spicy new content came to very public attention this morning when an explicit clip (it was tagged #dildoplay, let's leave it at that) made its way onto Vine's "Editor's Picks" list. That means users who opened the application were automatically greeted with some very NSFW content.

Vine quickly issued an apology, but it may still be in hot water with Apple.

Vine is currently iOS-only, and Apple is notorious for its prudish policies around adult content, having recently banned a popular photo sharing application because of nude photos, even after the app's creator offered a fix to filter explicit images. Apple balked, claiming the content still violated its user guidelines.

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Not sure what revenge porn is? Congratulations, you're a good person.

Revenge porn is what you get when jilted exes and one-time hookups submit photos and videos of their sexual exploits for public consumption. While some of the material on these sites has been stolen by strangers off of phones and computers, all of it has one big thing in common: The women in these photos and videos didn't consent to share them.

Hollie Toups, a 32-year-old resident of Beaumont, Texas, is one of those women. In addition to signing on to the lawsuit, she publicly came forward to discuss her experience with revenge porn in an effort to encourage other women to do the same.

As she told BetaBeat:

“I live in an extremely small town and the website was flooded with people that I knew,” Ms. Toups said. “Those of us on there go to the grocery store and everybody recognizes you. Not everybody says something, but you get a lot of like, ‘Hey, do I know you?’ or, ‘I recognize you from somewhere.’ But then you also get people that will just come out and say it.”

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Not so fast. I recently came into possession of a reprint of an old pamphlet, titled "An Author to be Lett," written by the English poet Richard Savage in 1729; its contents serve as a reminder that it was ever thus. The work purports to be a prospectus discovered in a "leathern case, which had once been red, but was grown black with Grease" that had been "accidentally drop'd near the Mews Gate," a London neighborhood known for its concentration of booksellers. The document's alleged author, one Iscariot Hackney, was meant to stand for the entire scribal community known as Grub Street, a conglomeration of down-at-heel, mercenary writers serving the thriving periodical press as well as a booming book trade. A "hackney" was a horse (eventually a cab) that could be hired by the hour, and in time writers operating on the same principle would become commonly known as hacks.

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Welcome to San Francisco porn studio Kink.com's new sex-ed classes for adults. Forget the sober diagrams and condom-clad bananas of your high school days; these classes feature real, live naked people having real, live sex. Instead of a sterile classroom, these workshops take place on elaborately designed porn sets (without cameras present). The class subjects range from oral sex to dirty talk, but this week I happened to attend a "g-spot and female ejaculation" class led by adult performer and director Madison Young. Our set: an ornate Edwardian living room filled with oriental rugs, red velvet curtains and dark wood paneling.

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Scarier yet, though, is what Moore plans to add to all of the nude pics: home addresses. “All these people that thought they were safe: nah, it’s all gonna be back,” he said. "We’re gonna introduce the mapping stuff so you can stalk people." Moore insists that he is within his legal rights because he's posting user submitted content.

In any case, let's all hope that the FBI is still sniffing around.

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But the Internet's so-called Most Hated Man hasn't backed off for long. In what reads like half school note, half press release, Moore has posted a notice on his new site, HunterMoore.tv, announcing his ominous return:

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Supporters of the Safer Sex in the Adult Film Industry Act, including the AIDS Healthcare Foundation, argue that the law will promote sexual health and workplace safety. "We were extremely gratified that not only did it pass, but it passed by a wide margin," said AHF executive director Michael Weinstein. L.A. County voters "saw it quite clearly as a health, safety and fairness issue," he added.

Most of the porn industry, however, is frustrated by Measure B. Diane Duke, executive director for the Free Speech Coalition, the trade group that represents the adult entertainment industry, called Measure B "unconstitutional" in a recent statement. Porn star James Deen summed up the confusion and controversy stirred by the decision in an interview with the Daily Beast:

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ICM analyzed the most-sought after keywords based on the top keywords entered into Search.xxx by over eight million searches/page views undertaken since the launch on September 27.  This was then matched to the list of previously reserved premium names. The list of names now generally available can be found at www.icmregistry.com/premium  Editor's Note: Most of those reference adult-themed content.

The domain names are available on a first-come, first-served basis. But don't get too worked up, the new domain names come at a hefty price. The cheapest, like DDD.XXX and freeliveporn.xxx, run at $330 each. Seniors.XXX goes for $1,320. Girls.XXX is the most expensive domain at $220,000.

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