I hope my dogs die soon

Tue, 02 Oct 2012 00:00:00 +0000

The emergency room veterinarian recommended a pancreatitis test for my 9-year-old pug. I frowned at the $800 estimate, but this is the cost of doing business at 4 a.m. It wasn’t the first time I had spent the night in an animal hospital with a dog in distress. In the four years since I adopted Clarence from a pet rescue group, his list of ailments included epilepsy, arthritis and skin growths in places you’d rather not look. None of his maladies are fatal, but they require X-rays, medications and special diets.

Meanwhile, I have another dog enduring the indignities of what his veterinarian calls “the slow fade.” Both suffer grand mal seizures. Both have fragile stomachs that cause indoor accidents and sleepless nights. And both teeter on the edge of death one moment only to act like spry pups the next.

For more than half of my adult life, I have scheduled my world around my pets. But I don’t know how much longer this can go on. As much as it pains me to admit it, part of me is anxious for their anguish — and mine — to end. I can’t wait for them to die.

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I hope my dogs die soon