Best of the Salon limerick contest

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 15:00:00 +0000

in the first compilation of the Salon limerick contest, here are the best reader submitted limericks from the election:

As travel arrangements were set,

Rafalca had reason to fret,

When Romney explained,

To get to the Games,

She'd be strapped to the roof of the jet!

Pete DeVriese

Oakland, Calif.

The Romney's were off with a start.

Regrettably, Seamus had farts.

So into the crate,

If he makes it that's great.

If not, Mitt will sell off the parts.

Michael Peterson

Willowbrook, Ill.

Mitt’s not vulgar, profane or salacious.

He would never offend! Good gracious!

But in unctuous perfection,

He seeks his election,

In a manner sublimely mendacious.

Quentin Sullivan

Haverhill, Mass.

Paul Ryan is sure that it's true.

All abortions are wicked to do.

Not for rape, or incest,

Even death - Paul knows best.

For a zygote's worth much more than you.

Paul Bamborough

Norway

RNC speakers begin to assemble,

And their rhetoric starts to dissemble.

From Rubio to Ryan.

There'll be no shortage of lyin'.

Causing fact-checkers all over to tremble.

Jim Brown

Scarsdale, N.Y.

The attacks on Romney that didn’t land

Sun, 04 Nov 2012 17:00:00 +0000

Mitt Romney was never the most opposition research target-rich candidate for the Republican presidential nomination -- miss you, Newt -- with his cheerful moral rectitude and clean living. But there was plenty of material in his charmed life. And the press and the Obama campaign exploited some of it quite effectively, helpfully introducing Americans to Bain Capital and the practice of leveraged buyouts.

But Romney had some rather glaring weaknesses as a candidate that weren't successfully exploited. For an unprincipled flip-flopping weirdo plutocrat with no ability to connect with normal humans, he's polling quite decently! Here are some of the Romney attacks that for whatever reason, never quite connected.

(You know how conservatives still bitterly/crazily claim that Obama wasn't properly vetted? This is sort of like that, except my "things that weren't vetted" are based in reality and not insane conspiracy theories.)

His Tax Returns

Salon.com > Seamus

Best of the Salon limerick contest

The attacks on Romney that didn’t land