Suzanne Venker was right about what’s got me — the American Male — down. Three words: Increased competition. And feminism. Since this crazy feminism stuff really started getting popular (thanks, Mom) and ladies have started acting (and smelling) like dudes, I’ve been withdrawing from higher education, from family, even from some parts of the labor force. (I want to make it very clear that I’m withdrawing, not quitting; quitting sounds way too harsh.)

But can you blame me for withdrawing? I’m so tired and angry about feminism and the increased level of competition I have to deal with at school, at home and in the workplace that it’s just easier to not even bother competing at all. Instead, I spend my mornings pulling bong rips on the couch while catching up on reruns of "Boy Meets World." But then I catch one of the later episodes where Topanga clearly asserts her dominance over a neutered Cory and I’m back where I started before I decided to get stoned and not leave the house.

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