Salon.com > Valentines Day http://www.salon.com Wed, 03 Jul 2013 01:14:35 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 Pistorius shooting highlights South Africa’s crime problem http://www.salon.com/2013/02/15/pistorius_shooting_highlights_south_africas_crime_problem_partner/ http://www.salon.com/2013/02/15/pistorius_shooting_highlights_south_africas_crime_problem_partner/#comments Fri, 15 Feb 2013 15:14:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13202591 Global Post
 PRETORIA, South Africa — The world once cheered Oscar Pistorius, the “Blade Runner,” a double amputee whose gritty determination saw him become the first Olympian to race on twin carbon fiber blades.

But on Valentine’s Day, it all went disturbingly wrong.

South Africans awoke to the news that their country’s most famous sportsman had been charged with murder, accused of shooting and killing his gorgeous model girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp in the early hours of Thursday morning.

The motive behind 29-year-old Steenkamp’s murder is still unclear. Police have confirmed that a 9mm revolver recovered at the scene was registered to Pistorius, who in past interviews had spoken of his love of firearms and once tweeted a photo of himself visiting a shooting range.

Pistorius, 26, spent the night in a Pretoria jail cell, and on Friday will appear in court for a bail hearing. Lawyer Kenny Oldwage said at the police station that Pistorius “is emotional, but he is keeping up."

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2013/02/15/pistorius_shooting_highlights_south_africas_crime_problem_partner/feed/ 5 Oscar Pistorius bail hearing delayed until Tuesday http://www.salon.com/2013/02/15/oscar_pistorius_bail_hearing_delayed_until_tuesday/ http://www.salon.com/2013/02/15/oscar_pistorius_bail_hearing_delayed_until_tuesday/#comments Fri, 15 Feb 2013 14:05:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13202503 Athlete Oscar Pistorius, known around the world as the "Blade Runner" for becoming the first double-amputee to compete in the Olympics, shocked the world yesterday when he was charged for the murder of his girlfriend, South African model Reeva Steenkamp, who died at his home early morning on Valentine's Day. But a Pretoria judge has delayed Pistorius' bail hearing, originally scheduled for Friday, to Tuesday as the troubled athlete repeatedly lost his composure in court.

Reports the Guardian:

The South African athlete...repeatedly pressed his fingers to his eyes and looked down, sobbing and shaking, in an hour-long hearing in a packed courtroom in Pretoria.

The magistrate delayed Pistorius's bail hearing until Tuesday and ruled that the 26-year-old would be held at a Pretoria police station until then, despite a likely perception of "preferential treatment", since it would be more common for the accused to be detained in prison.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2013/02/15/oscar_pistorius_bail_hearing_delayed_until_tuesday/feed/ 4 My Valentine’s Day miracle http://www.salon.com/2013/02/15/my_valentines_day_miracle_partner/ http://www.salon.com/2013/02/15/my_valentines_day_miracle_partner/#comments Fri, 15 Feb 2013 00:15:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13202099 Pajiba In September 2011, from the moment my wife and I found out that she was pregnant with monoamniotic twins, I made the decision not to talk about it online until — unless — we came out at the end of it with two healthy babies. The idea that I could one day share this story with the Pajiban community — whether you guys wanted to hear it or not — actually motivated me during much of what would be the most harrowing 22 weeks of our lives. It was an experience that’s more important for me to tell than for you guys to read, but since this particular occurrence is so rare, it may also be important story to put out on the Internet where I hope it may provide at lease some comfort to others going through the same ordeal.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2013/02/15/my_valentines_day_miracle_partner/feed/ 11 Thank the War on Drugs for your Valentine’s Day roses http://www.salon.com/2013/02/14/are_your_valentines_day_roses_supporting_the_war_on_drugs_partner/ http://www.salon.com/2013/02/14/are_your_valentines_day_roses_supporting_the_war_on_drugs_partner/#comments Thu, 14 Feb 2013 23:18:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13201894 AlterNet This article was published in partnership with GlobalPossibilities.org.

When your love hands you a gorgeous bouquet of large, red, long-stemmed roses this Valentine’s Day, as any botanist will tell you, you’re getting a bunch of sex organs. Although the roses are more beautiful, fragrant and socially acceptable than other methods that might get the same point across (just ask former Congressman Anthony Weiner), there’s a lot more to those roses than meets the eye.

Unfortunately, the romancing of women in the United States often means the exploitation of women in countries like Colombia and Ecuador.

The preference the U.S. gives Colombian and Ecuadorian flower exports has a lot to do with another export from those nations: cocaine. By 1990, South American imports already accounted for more than 40 percent of roses sold in the United States. Then, in 1991, Congress passed the Andean Trade Preference Act. The idea was simple: maybe if we help cocaine-producing nations sell us other things, like roses, they’ll be less interested in selling us cocaine.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2013/02/14/are_your_valentines_day_roses_supporting_the_war_on_drugs_partner/feed/ 3 UPDATED: Oscar Pistorius charged with the murder of girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp http://www.salon.com/2013/02/14/girlfriend_of_olympian_oscar_pistorius_found_dead_in_his_home/ http://www.salon.com/2013/02/14/girlfriend_of_olympian_oscar_pistorius_found_dead_in_his_home/#comments Thu, 14 Feb 2013 21:07:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13200983 UPDATED: Thursday, February 14 at 4:07pm

Olympic sprinter Oscar Pistorius has been charged in the shooting murder of his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp. Pistorius will spend the night in jail while he awaits a bail hearing on Friday morning. Police have said that they plan to oppose bail in the case.

Steenkamp was a model, law school graduate and vocal advocate for women's rights in South Africa, who was "continuously breaking the model stereotype," according to her publicist Sarit Tomlinson.

Steenkamp was scheduled to deliver an inspirational talk to students in Johannesburg on Thursday, and, as recently as Sunday, had used her considerable social media presence to raise awareness about violence against women in the country:

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2013/02/14/girlfriend_of_olympian_oscar_pistorius_found_dead_in_his_home/feed/ 10 Don’t make your pet your Valentine http://www.salon.com/2013/02/14/dont_make_your_pet_your_valentine/ http://www.salon.com/2013/02/14/dont_make_your_pet_your_valentine/#comments Thu, 14 Feb 2013 19:50:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13201661 Valentine's Day is a pretty BS holiday, right up there with New Year's Eve on the list of high-pressure, aren't you having THE GREATEST EXPERIENCE OF YOUR LIFE? days seemingly designed to make 98 percent of us feel like losers. So if one-fifth of us have figured out a way to mark the holiday with a different kind of statement of love, that's probably a good thing, right? If we want to take this day to do something special for a loved one – the one who offers comfort when we're sad, the one we go for walks with in the park, maybe share a bed with, who's to judge? I'm just saying, folks, $815 million is a whole lot of money to spend on Valentines for your pets.

That's how much the National Retail Federation estimates we will shell out this year for our dogs, cats, "fish, horses and small animals." I'd say that it's all well and good, but don't expect them to reciprocate with so much as a card -- except that over the past few years, I've noticed a creeping new segment of the card shop rack devoted to none other than "From Cat" greetings.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2013/02/14/dont_make_your_pet_your_valentine/feed/ 32 Rejected candy heart sayings http://www.salon.com/2013/02/14/rejected_candy_heart_sayings/ http://www.salon.com/2013/02/14/rejected_candy_heart_sayings/#comments Thu, 14 Feb 2013 18:46:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13201556 Thank Twitter for a topical Valentine's Day joke that even the most jaded or heartbroken can enjoy:

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Happy day-after Galentine's Day, y'all.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2013/02/14/rejected_candy_heart_sayings/feed/ 0 Oxytocin: Cupid’s arrow http://www.salon.com/2013/02/14/oxytocin_cupids_arrow_partner/ http://www.salon.com/2013/02/14/oxytocin_cupids_arrow_partner/#comments Thu, 14 Feb 2013 17:47:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13201422 Scientific American If cupid had studied neuroscience, he’d know to aim his arrows at the brain rather than the heart. Recent research suggests that for love to last, it’s best he dip those arrows in oxytocin. Although scientists have long known that this hormone is essential for monogamous rodents to stay true to their mates, and that it makes humans more trusting toward one another, they are now finding that it is also crucial to how we form and maintain romantic relationships.

A handful of new studies show that oxytocin makes us more sympathetic, supportive and open with our feelings—all necessary for couples to celebrate not just one Valentine’s Day, but many. These findings have led some researchers to investigate whether oxytocin can be used in couple therapy.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2013/02/14/oxytocin_cupids_arrow_partner/feed/ 1 Perfect pairings: The best film/drink combos to snuggle up with on Valentine’s Day http://www.salon.com/2013/02/14/perfect_pairings_the_best_filmdrink_combos_to_snuggle_up_with_on_valentines_day/ http://www.salon.com/2013/02/14/perfect_pairings_the_best_filmdrink_combos_to_snuggle_up_with_on_valentines_day/#comments Thu, 14 Feb 2013 08:00:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13201283 Ah, Valentine’s Day; a day thrust upon us on which we are forced, willingly or unwillingly, to get cards chocolates, or bubbly for our loved one, and pay four times the usual price of a dinner.

That, of course, is if we have a loved one.  If we don’t then Valentine’s Day can be a day of feeling lonely and depressed, which causes us to eat those chocolates and drink all that bubbly by ourselves.

I have never been much for those expensive dinners, but bubbly, chocolates and a movie are right up my alley.

Herewith, a small sampling of movies for a multitude of Valentine’s Days, and the best drink to accompany them.

FOR THE LOVE OF FOOD:
Julie & Julia - Little is more satisfying than watching this movie (based on an Open Salon blog) in which two women, in two different points in time, spend a large portion of their lives cooking and then stuffing their faces with the results. Give me this movie on a night alone with a good red wine and a massive dish of mac 'n' cheese, and I am a happy girl.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2013/02/14/perfect_pairings_the_best_filmdrink_combos_to_snuggle_up_with_on_valentines_day/feed/ 0 The worst of Valentine’s Day http://www.salon.com/2013/02/14/the_worst_of_valentines_day/ http://www.salon.com/2013/02/14/the_worst_of_valentines_day/#comments Thu, 14 Feb 2013 01:00:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13199351 I've always been a tad suspicious of the consumerist motivations behind Valentine's Day -- but that was before I became a "sex and relationships" writer. Now I'm a conspiracy theorist wearing a tinfoil-hat made of Hershey's Kisses wrappers. You need only take a glimpse of my in box around this time of year -- or better yet, actually read through the dozens of the scheming, hackneyed and downright bizarre V-Day pitches you'll find there -- to understand why.

I'm a fan of laughing instead of crying -- especially when it comes to the ceremonial excess of Feb. 14 -- so I bring you this year's 10 worst attempts to capitalize on Cupid's holiday.

[slide_show id="13199454"]

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2013/02/14/the_worst_of_valentines_day/feed/ 2 I wrote my way to true love http://www.salon.com/2013/02/14/i_wrote_my_way_to_true_love/ http://www.salon.com/2013/02/14/i_wrote_my_way_to_true_love/#comments Thu, 14 Feb 2013 01:00:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=13200198 “You should stop writing these stupid movie scripts and write about your life, it's so much more interesting.” Janine, my hypnotherapist, was not being unkind. She just had no filter. And she was right. That was the most infuriating thing about Janine my hypnotherapist. She was always right.

I had just gotten a three-picture deal with Disney. Well, it wasn't really a three-picture deal. They hired me to write a script for one of their moronic ideas (Sinbad in the Army with dogs), and in the contract they locked me up for another two movies for slightly more money each time. But at the bottom of every page was writ in small letters: “We can terminate this contract for any reason at any time for perpetuity and eternity in this and every other conceivable universe and pay you NOTHING.” I asked my agent and she said I could tell everybody I had a three-picture deal with Disney. Even though I didn't really. And that, in a nutshell, is Hollywood, baby.

But the thought of telling the truth about myself made me hot and clammy, sticky and jittery, teeth tearing into cuticles till they bled. I was much more comfortable working on my buddy script about two 12-year-olds who go to Vegas and beat the mob. Or my mobster-becomes-a-vampire script. Or my “Some Like It Hot” cross-dressing baseball script.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2013/02/14/i_wrote_my_way_to_true_love/feed/ 5 Our stubborn faith in aphrodisiacs http://www.salon.com/2012/02/14/our_stubborn_faith_in_aphrodisiacs/ http://www.salon.com/2012/02/14/our_stubborn_faith_in_aphrodisiacs/#comments Tue, 14 Feb 2012 17:01:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=12348231 From the Garden of Eden to the oyster cellar bordellos of old New York, food and sex are entwined. Although every food under the sun has been touted as an aphrodisiac at some point in time, humans tend to get turned on by three categories of food: extremely expensive food, food that is risky to acquire, and food that resembles genitalia.

Rare and exotic foods have favored positions in the canon of culinary aphrodisiacs. Consider the truffle, the piranha and the labor of harvesting a plate full of sparrow tongues. Foods from far-off lands have the spicy whisper of perilous adventure, and there’s nothing quite like a hint of mystery to stimulate the imagination. For example, Aztec concubines taught the conquistadors to drink hot chocolate; when the Spaniards carried the exotic substance across the sea to Europe, they brought with it the rumor that the drink was an aphrodisiac. And during the reign of Charles I, when rice was still a luxury in Europe, noble Casanovas swore by the improbable aphrodisiac of rice boiled in milk and flavored with cinnamon.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2012/02/14/our_stubborn_faith_in_aphrodisiacs/feed/ 6 Occupy Valentine’s Day http://www.salon.com/2012/02/14/occupy_valentines_day/ http://www.salon.com/2012/02/14/occupy_valentines_day/#comments Tue, 14 Feb 2012 15:15:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=12352211 A man and a woman are lying in bed under the covers, both of them beaming. She’s holding a handwritten sign that reads in part, "F--k a dozen roses."

It’s one of several photos on the website Occupy Valentine’s Day, which applies the ethos of the anti-Wall Street movement to the consumerism of cupid’s holiday -- and it’s just the latest attempt at creating an alternative celebration. “I think we need a new and different type of analysis around relationships,” says Samhita Mukhopadhyay, the site's creator and author of "Outdated: Why Dating Is Ruining Your Love Life." “This is not about being anti-love, but instead anti the unfair structures that force us to love a certain way.”

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2012/02/14/occupy_valentines_day/feed/ 7 Unhappy Valentine’s Day in Israel http://www.salon.com/2012/02/14/unhappy_valentines_day_in_israel/ http://www.salon.com/2012/02/14/unhappy_valentines_day_in_israel/#comments Tue, 14 Feb 2012 13:00:00 +0000 http://www.origin.railrode.net/?p=12349471 This Valentine’s Day, I live in fear of being separated from my wife by the force of the Israeli state and the whim of bureaucrats enforcing a discriminatory law that can separate Palestinian citizens of Israel from Palestinian spouses from the occupied West Bank. This fear will hang over us for years if the "Citizenship and Entry Into Israel Law" is not revoked as the state can use this law to separate me from my family.

Lana, my wife, is from Jenin in the Occupied Palestinian Territories.  She has a diploma in economics from Al-Najah University in Nablus. We met and fell in love in Jenin in late 2002 after Israel’s destruction of the Jenin refugee camp during the second intifada. She moved to Israel in 2005 to live with me. We now have two children, Adnan, who is 4 and a half years old and Yosra, who is 3 and a half years old.  My family means the world to me and yet our standing in Israel is extremely tenuous because of my ongoing failed effort to secure citizenship for my wife.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2012/02/14/unhappy_valentines_day_in_israel/feed/ 90 My broken Valentine http://www.salon.com/2011/02/15/friends_7/ http://www.salon.com/2011/02/15/friends_7/#comments Tue, 15 Feb 2011 00:05:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/life//feature/2011/02/14/friends I've spent the past 10 months since my mom was diagnosed with advanced lung cancer looking for solace in men, a warm body in my bed. People cope with grief in different ways and, until recently, I've turned to sex.

I have gone after men who were emotionally unavailable and spectacularly wounded. Pleasure wasn't the goal; it was entirely unwelcome. I didn't want to feel good; I mostly wanted to feel a different kind of bad. I was never a cutter, but now I understand it -- the idea of dragging a razor blade along your arm in hopes of relieving the vibrations of pain, letting it flow. It brought relief -- a brief, post-coital moment of comfort and calm, followed by a vertigo-inducing sense of emptiness. True loneliness is lying in bed with someone who doesn't care about you.

I feel a certain fondness for these men. They have kept me company in my misery -- even when they weren't aware of it. They have seen a version of myself that I am not particularly comfortable with – ravenous, wild, destructive. There is intimacy there, sure. They assisted in my acting out, provided needed distraction and brought the comfort of a warm embrace, but then they were gone and the pain was still there.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2011/02/15/friends_7/feed/ 53 Five movies to cure you of Valentine’s Day http://www.salon.com/2011/02/14/5_movies_valentines_day/ http://www.salon.com/2011/02/14/5_movies_valentines_day/#comments Mon, 14 Feb 2011 21:37:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/entertainment/movies/feature/2011/02/14/5_movies_valentines_day Is there a holiday more annoying than Valentine's Day? Not only do you have to cram all of your "love" into some artificial gestures and dinner reservations if you're in a relationship, but it's also the one time of year when all the single people in the world can throw a giant pity party for themselves and not have anyone yell at them for it.

Too bad these two groups -- those who hate Valentine's Day because they're in a relationship, and those who hate it because they aren't -- can't just sit down on Feb. 14 and relax. Maybe pop in a movie? Though there are tons of films out there that promise you true love and a happy ending, and plenty more that tell you life is a piece of dog poop and you'll end up an old cat lady (most of the latter are late '90s indies directed by Neil LaBute), there are a couple movies that let you have it both ways. Movies that say, "Maybe love is both awesome and sucky."

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2011/02/14/5_movies_valentines_day/feed/ 16 Valentine’s day in viral videos http://www.salon.com/2011/02/14/best_valentine_day_viral_video/ http://www.salon.com/2011/02/14/best_valentine_day_viral_video/#comments Mon, 14 Feb 2011 21:01:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/entertainment/feature/2011/02/14/best_valentine_day_viral_video The Internet can be a terrifying, lonely place, filled with misanthropic trolls and 4chan commenters. Luckily, Valentine's Day has given us enough reason to stop making YouTube videos where we light our farts on fire long enough to produce some actually heartwarming content. Awww!

Joe Jonas Ruins Your Valentine (Via Funny Or Die)

Hanson (HANSON!!!) has some Mmmbop advice for good Valentine's Day dates. How about seeing Hanson? (Via MTV)

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2011/02/14/best_valentine_day_viral_video/feed/ 1 Happy Valentine’s Day from the stars http://www.salon.com/2011/02/14/alternate_valentines_candy_from_celebrities/ http://www.salon.com/2011/02/14/alternate_valentines_candy_from_celebrities/#comments Mon, 14 Feb 2011 17:15:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/life//feature/2011/02/14/alternate_valentines_candy_from_celebrities Think you had a hard time coming up with a Valentine's Day present? Imagine the pressure facing Charlie Sheen. Salon takes a look at holiday dispatches from this year's (often troubled) celebrities.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2011/02/14/alternate_valentines_candy_from_celebrities/feed/ 2 Where will America go for V-Day? Ask Google! http://www.salon.com/2011/02/14/valentines_day_dinner_searches/ http://www.salon.com/2011/02/14/valentines_day_dinner_searches/#comments Mon, 14 Feb 2011 09:30:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/food/francis_lam/2011/02/14/valentines_day_dinner_searches "Darling, you know I love you. I have always loved you. And after all these years, looking into your eyes still drives me wild with desire. Will you pass me your Never Ending Pasta Bowl?"

If you're looking forward to saying these magic words to your sugarpie honeybunch over Valentine's Day dinner tonight, you're not alone! Peeking into Google search trends each of the past two February 14ths reveals a nation ready for romance at the Applebee's.

A report by a search engine consulting firm called Everspark Interactive reveals that right around 5pm Eastern time on Valentine's Day, Google lights up like a pinball machine with searches for the following terms: 

  1. Olive Garden
  2. Red Lobster
  3. Applebee’s
  4. Outback
  5. Outback Steakhouse
  6. Outback Steakhouse coupons
  7. Outback Steakhouse menu
  8. Chili’s
  9. Macaroni Grill

On this blessed day on the past two years, the statistics for these searches fly through the freaking roof, or, in Google terms, they go "Volcanic," the highest rating on their "hot searches" scale.

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]]> http://www.salon.com/2011/02/14/valentines_day_dinner_searches/feed/ 13 Send me no roses http://www.salon.com/2011/02/13/valentines_day_red_roses/ http://www.salon.com/2011/02/13/valentines_day_red_roses/#comments Sun, 13 Feb 2011 19:01:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/life//feature/2011/02/13/valentines_day_red_roses Here's how my starter marriage ended: After four years of structuring a life around everything my husband wanted and nothing that I did, I finally worked up the courage to move out. I was 24, and I wanted my interests and dreams and feelings to matter to someone, even if only to myself. Having no property, no children and no money to pay the legal fees, neither of us filed for divorce right away. Over the course of several months, as my absence piqued his interest, he would make the occasional overture -- as if there were still hope. I knew it had to end the day a box arrived on my doorstep, containing multiple layers of perfectly formed, long-stemmed red roses, along with a note that read, "I know you hate red roses, but ..." Society deems them romantic; why should my likes matter?

I'll spare you the details of what I did to those roses before calling to assure him we were through.

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