Dennis Murawska, 59, said a pet chicken named Cluck Cluck woke his wife Susan Cotey, 52, with loud clucking from its cage in the basement two floors below about 6:15 a.m. Thursday. The couple's two cats also were running around the main floor.

Murawska said he had been half awake but didn't know about the fire because the smoke alarms hadn't gone off. He realized something was wrong when his wife got up.

"The chicken gets quite vocal when she gets excited," he said.

Cluck Cluck came from a nearby farm in Alma Center, about 135 miles east of Minneapolis, Murawska said. When the chicken began wandering over to his house, his neighbor said he could kill it because it wasn't producing any eggs. But Murawska felt sorry for Cluck Cluck because she had a mutated foot and decided to keep her. He fed the bird and built a coop, and then his wife let Cluck Cluck into the basement on cold nights.

"I spent way more money than I ever should've," Murawska said by telephone. "I guess it paid off."

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Now, the Smoking Gun reports that Riches, a Pennsylvania man serving a five-year probation sentence after having been in custody for wire fraud and conspiracy for the past decade, has been arrested by federal authorities for violating his probation. Riches was not allowed to leave "Eastern District judicial boundaries without permission from a judge or his probation officers," the site reports.

Even stranger, though, are Riches' past crimes. The Smoking Gun writes:

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According to the 21-year-old college student, a man on the Chicago Transit Authority's Blue Line boarded the train at the Oak Park stop, and then at the next stop, without warning or provocation, "he throws something in my face.”

That "something" turned out to be feces. "He had a sock full of his poop on me,” she said. “It was everywhere; on my face, my hair, my clothes."

The attacker then fled up the Austin Boulevard exit; she wasn't able to catch him. "The worst part is nobody had anything to wipe my face with,” she said. The woman waiting for paramedics to show up, who gave her towels and water. “They really aren’t prepared for a situation like that," she noted.

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But the noble Jedi are losing ground, it seems. That number has fallen from 2001, when a campaign helped bring in 390,000 responses. There are still officially more Jedi walking around than there are Pagans, Atheists, Agnostics, Heathens and Scientologists, however.

h/t the New York Daily News

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With a once-a-century date arriving Wednesday, some people across the United Stated are betting on good fortune for 12-12-12.

In New England, Foxwoods Resort Casino in Connecticut will offer $12 in free slots play to rewards cards members who sink $12 into the slots.

A southwestern Michigan casino is also betting that 12-12-12 is going to be a lucky day for opening its new hotel. A ribbon-cutting is planned for 12:12 p.m. Wednesday for the eight-story, 242-room hotel at FireKeepers Casino near Battle Creek.

Hours later, Anna Gandy, of Battle Creek, Mich., will head to the Lakeview Square Mall after school lets out. She realized last year that she would turn 12 on 12-12-12, her father Bryan Gandy said Tuesday. But between her sports team commitments and nerves, Anna decided to wait until Wednesday to get her ears pierced.

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He even signs SMS messages: "Molecatcher to the king." It's been over two centuries since Louis XVI was guillotined on Paris' Place de la Concorde, but the job of hunting the underground pest that so troubled French monarchs on the grounds of the Versailles palace still exists.

Its current holder carries on, business as usual, with a task that hasn't changed in centuries.

"It might sound funny, but it's serious work. My job is to make sure molehills don't deface Europe's finest gardens," says 36-year-old Jerome Dormion, the latest in an unbroken 330-year line of mole-killers in the royal palace and gardens visited by six million people a year. "We still have visiting dignitaries too. Imagine if they were to see them!"

Dormion - who started out as a regular gardener before noticing a niche in the molecatching market - keeps the roughly 800 hectares (2,000 acres) of magnificent horticulture mole-free. The grounds include fountains, an orangery, glistening landscaped grass, Marie Antoinette's cherished farm and famed gardener Andre Le Notre's Royal Path and Grand Canal.

He takes the work very seriously - but there's the odd flash of humor.

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Under New York law, members of the state police can't accept such gifts.

So state police officials are seeking the public's help in finding the woman who gave the money to Trooper Christopher Maniscalco in the Albany suburb of Guilderland on Sunday. They say they want the woman to tell them where she would like the donation to go.

Police say the woman told Maniscalco she had seen him doing a good job and wanted to say Merry Christmas and thank you. Officials say it wasn't until after his shift ended that the trooper opened the card and saw the money.

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He uses his mouth to hold and ring a red bell, and he picks up with his mouth a "Thank You Merry Christmas" sign. He can also bow and give kisses.

Major Roger Ross, a Salvation Army commander, said Tinker is one of their biggest money raisers in the area: He brings in 10 times the amount of a regular bell ringer.

"A good kettle for a couple of hours brings in about $250, and for the same time period (Tinker and his owners) have been known to bring in $2,500," he said. "They line up to put money in the kettle."

The 13-year-old horse, who's brown, black, grey and white, has been ringing for four seasons.

"I actually save up all my donation and give it to Tinker because I have such a soft place in my heart for him," said Karen Hammen, who gave money while Tinker stood outside a West Bend craft show on a recent Saturday morning.

One of Tinker's owners, Carol Takacs, said she and her husband got Tinker 12 years ago. She said she went to look at a property, fell in love with the miniature horses there and asked that one be part of the deal.

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Eastern New Mexico University says it received the yuletide gift box this week along with a Christmas card and written apology.

The box contained five packages of 16 rolls of two-ply, septic-safe tissue for a total of 80 rolls.

The anonymous writer apologized for stealing bathroom tissue years ago and said a new dedication to Christian faith led to the deed.

It was unclear whether the gift itself was a prank. But university officials say "all is forgiven."

The toilet paper is being donating to a nearby charity because it doesn't fit the school's dispensers.

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Translated into English from the company's Facebook page, using Bing Translator:

Our advertising agency did extensive research before we landed to make a commercial with references from the zombie genre. To remove the "scary truth" they have deliberately used the daylight throughout the film, entertaining rock recording history rather than creepy music, and we have a hint of a little boy on the scooters that overcomes stupid zombies etc. We also have seasoned with what we believe is a large dollop of humor.

Watch the "stupid" commercial, below:

h/t Telegraph

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A judge sentenced 53-year-old Susan Warren of Elyria (eh-LEER'-ee-uh) on Monday in Cleveland on her guilty plea to attempted burglary. She also must do 20 hours of community service.

The woman told authorities she was driving by the Westlake house and "wanted something to do." She broke in, washed some coffee cups, took out the trash, vacuumed and dusted inside the house. Then she left a bill written on a napkin and included her phone number.

Warren says she owns a cleaning business and sometimes enters homes, cleans them and leaves a bill.

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Coralville Police Chief Barry Bedford says the deer used doors that open automatically to get into a Kohl's store.

He says the fawns stayed in the store's vestibule, but their mother made it into the store and headed toward the back.

Police say employees opened up some back doors and the doe exited. The two fawns turned around and used the automatic exit doors to leave the store.

No injuries or damage was reported.

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The Flint Journal reports that the statue of Don Williamson in Genesee County's Davison Township, near Flint, is surrounded by six bronze lions.

On the base of the statue are the words: "The Colonel's Inc. Founded by Donald J. Williamson May 10, 1984. His motto 'Success is the best revenge.'"

Williamson says the statue was made 20 years ago and was originally displayed at The Colonel's Inc., the auto parts firm where he made his fortune.

Williamson says the lions were imported by his wife. Of the lion statues, he joked: "Careful, one of them is alive."

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Valle kept files on his computer about more than 100 women, containing a photo and address for each, according to the complaint. Valle allegedly researched methods of “disabling and drugging women, and agreeing with at least one other individual to kidnap a woman in exchange for a sum of money.”

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Metro told KOMO the driver did not violate policy when she acted for the comfort of other passengers.

An apology is not enough for the mother, Nichole Hakimian (hah-KIM'-ee-an), who threatens to sue.

She was taking her 1-year-old son to a clinic Tuesday when his diarrhea became an odor issue. She says the driver insisted she exit.

Hakimian says she found a place to change the baby and caught another bus to the clinic, where her son was diagnosed with a stomach bug.

Metro says the driver is a nine-year employee with an excellent record.

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The Elk had apparently taken a fancy to Messner's herd of cows, a romance that evolved gradually over the past three years. He told the Star, “He stuck around for a couple of days the first year,” said Messner. “Then last year, he was just hanging around again for a couple of weeks and not really doing anything, just hanging around and looking at the cows. This year, he decided to go for it." The Star writes:

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State police in New Castle say the truck crashed shortly before 5 a.m. on U.S. Route 422 near McConnells Mill State Park. That's about 35 miles north of Pittsburgh.

The eastbound lanes of the highway were closed for more than three hours while crews cleaned up the poultry.

No injuries have been reported.

Police have yet to say who was driving the truck or who owned the vehicle - or the tons of chicken inside it.

It was not immediately clear what caused the crash.

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Mark Wayne Williams tells the Petoskey News-Review that dressing in costume is his way of saying "it's not up to the government to save us."

He's due in court Thursday.

State troopers arrested the 33-year-old Sept. 29 because they say he refused to leave them alone while they searched for a driver who fled an accident. Williams was charged with resisting and obstructing police in an investigation.

It's not Williams' first brush with the law as the caped crusader. He was arrested last year after police received a report of a man dressed as Batman on the roof of a Petoskey business.

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Renee Storey, an executive with Cole Brothers Circus of the Stars, said the elephants were being transported from Alabama to Louisiana on Sunday night when the truck went off Interstate 10 and ran down an embankment.

Mississippi Highway Patrol spokesman Johnny Poulos said the truck driver reported another vehicle forced him off the interstate. The truck was disabled, but the trailer wasn't seriously damaged and later was towed it to its intended destination at circus grounds in Hammond, La.

Storey says the four elephants were calm and playful on Monday after their arrival in Louisiana.

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