R E C E N T L Y Homemade heaven in Italy By David Downie Wild boar stew and other delights in Italy (07/21/98) Couped up in Cambodia By Rosemary Berkeley Remembering the right place at the wrong time (07/17/98) Mondo Weirdo Nude beaches of the week Favorite nude beaches around the world (07/17/98) Tour en Irlande By David Moore Tour de France: Pomp and pedaling in Ireland (07/16/98) Bad news from a black coast: Part Two By Moritz Thomsen Part Two of Moritz Thomsen's unpublished memoir (07/15/98) Browse the Wanderlust Feature archives		TAMPAX NIGHTMARES | PAGE 1, 2 - - - - - - - - - - Even though we stand on the cusp of the new millennium, we women continue to deal stoically with this immutable fact of our biology, this evolutionary hand-me-down, euphemistically called the curse, my little friend, that time of the month or, as the French say, in a revealing cultural put-down, "les Anglais." Why do we endure this monthly mess, this cramp- and bad mood-producing event? Evolutionary biologists believe periods are the ultimate female weapon in the battle of the sexes, a red banner telling us when we're fertile, enabling us, unlike any other species, to deny sex and children to unsatisfactory males. All I can say is, too bad they didn't have home-pregnancy and early ovulation prediction kits back in the days of Australopithecus. Ladies, I think you'll agree: Tampax is the greatest invention of the 20th century. (The tampon was actually invented by the ancient Egyptians, who made theirs out of shredded linen and gum arabic. Tampax, the first mass-produced tampon, came into being in 1936 after a Denver physician, Earl Haas, patented the idea of a cotton plug on a string.) Yes, Jonas Salk's polio vaccine has saved millions, and the cell phone and the personal computer have brought previously inconceivable levels of convenience to daily life. But could you survive without tampons? Would you ever leave home without them? Astronauts don't (NASA has developed special space feminine protection), and neither, according to marine experts, should any woman considering snorkeling or scuba diving in shark-infested waters. Ditto safari camps, where lions, leopards and hyenas have been known to pull women off trails and from their beds. According to Advertising Age magazine, 70 percent of American women prefer tampons to pads. Unfortunately, that view isn't always shared by women in other countries. In Latin America and some Islamic nations, many women still think tampons will spoil a girl's virginity. Feminine hygiene giants Proctor and Gamble, Kimberly-Clark and Johnson and Johnson are still battling to penetrate the former Soviet Union and China, to boost their share of the $2 billion global tampon market. Distribution can be problematic in remote or rural parts of Africa and Asia, where popular feminine protection consists of rags or handfuls of dried moss. So if you're traveling anywhere exotic, without 24-hour pharmacies, pack an adequate tampon supply. Here are some international tampon travel tips. In Japan, buy big sizes; tampons there run small. In France, another popular American tampon, O.B., goes by the brand name "Nett" (short for Nettoyer, or Clean). According to that bible of women's health issues, "Our Bodies, Ourselves for the New Century," if you're truly, seriously desperate (or put off by pads), homemade tampons made of natural sponges or sterilized cotton will do the trick. Alas, tampon nightmares don't end there. There's technical failure. Use and abuse. A friend of mine, who understandably wishes to remain anonymous, was about to go on a romantic sailing weekend with a brand new boyfriend and his best friends, a married couple who owned the boat and whom she hadn't met. The "little friend" came along too. She figured she could keep her beau at first base, but silly girl, she flushed a used tampon down the loo. A bunged-up toilet delayed the departure. A plumber was called out to the boat, and after hours of probing, announced to everyone what he'd found. Trip canceled, new friends pissed off, romance ruined. And what about customs inspections. Ever looked a Syrian border guide in the eye while he unwraps your Tampax from its packaging? "What is this? A cigar?" He unwraps another, trying to solve the mystery of the cardboard tube, cotton package and that funny little string. "Strange American lady," he seems to say, though in reality he barks: "What are these for and why do you have so many?" Managing menstruation is not that big a deal. Like Nike says, "Just Do It." But let me tell you about my other worst Tampax nightmare, which happened in Lebanon, in 1983, during a tank battle in downtown Beirut. I was a freelance reporter working out of the offices of the Lebanese newspaper An Nahar, and when the shooting started I knew I'd be taking shelter in the basement for a while. Guess who picked this inconvenient time to arrive? This is a real nightmare: convincing a panicky pharmacist shuttering his shop to take time out to rummage around for some boxes of Tampax Super Plus. He's only got Regular and shoves them at me over the cash register. "Take them, take them," he hisses. I quickly decide I can live, shrapnel being the immediate threat, with less than my desired Tampax absorbency. Then I discover there's no toilet in the newspaper's basement, only a printing room. Amid the muffled thump of incoming missiles, a brave female colleague shields me from view while I insert. For years I thought no one could top this story, until I mentioned it to my friend Johanna, a graphic designer living in Japan. "Tampons, ha! What about diaphragms?" she laughed. "A Sudanese customs guy took mine out of my makeup bag at the airport in Khartoum and waved it in my face. I didn't have the heart to tell him what it was or where it had been." SALON | July 22, 1998 Susan Hack is a Paris-based contributing editor for Condé Nast Traveler. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - R E L A T E D_.S A L O N_.S T O R I E S The bleeding edge When it comes to creative marketing,tampon manufacturers lead the way. By Jenn Shreve March 18, 1998 Women's dilemma Is solo travel worth the risk? By Dawn MacKeen Oct. 21, 1997