Salon Wanderlust | Body talk

[Salon Wanderlust: Travel with a passion]

T A B L E_T A L K
Is it safe for women to travel alone? Swap success and horror stories in the Wanderlust area of Table Talk

R E C E N T L Y
On the road with the Smokejumpers: Part Three
By The King Teen
Sold out in San Diego, boffo in Bakersfield -- the band's odyssey ends on an up note
(11/18/98)
Orchid ice cream
By Eric Hansen
An aficionado journeys to Turkey to discover the birthplace of this aphrodisiac treat
(11/17/98)
Another Africa
By Chinua Achebe
Beyond the stereotypes and clichés, a photographer and writer journey into the heart of the continent
(11/15/98)
This week in travel
Hostages at Club Med, strikes in Italy, a Paris renaissance, Mideast warnings and more news from the travel world
(11/13/98)
A fiume runs through it
By Thom Elkjer
An American on a fly-fishing pilgrimage learns that in Italy, it's who you know that counts
(11/12/98)

Browse the
Wanderlust Road Warrior archives

Wanderlust's Official
Travel Book Partner

S A L O N
E M P O R I U M
FREE! 12-ounce bag of Salon Blend with a purchase of $30 or more. While supplies last.

BODY TALK | PAGE 1, 2
- - - - - - - - - -
Is there a way to play it safe? For example, should you avoid using your hands -- or feet -- altogether?
First of all, do your homework before going to any country. There is no reason why you can't collect material ahead of time, study up on a particular culture -- not just the demographics, history, economics and politics, but the behavior, customs, protocol, etiquette, gestures, body language and humor.
If you don't know, ask people, and become more aware of circumstances around you and what people are doing -- like how do they call a waiter, how do they wave goodbye, watch their posture and their body language or a gesture that they use, tapping the side of their nose, or flipping the lobe of their ear. Nowadays, there is just no excuse for not being prepared.
It's amazing, if you name any gesture, you can almost always find a country where it's not done. In Bulgaria, particularly among the older generation, when you nod your head up and down, you're saying no. When you shake your head back and forth, you're saying yes. This is true even with some of the most basic gestures -- the thumb's-up gesture is rude in Australia and Nigeria, for example. In Germany, chewing gum in public is considered behaving like a cow. In Italy, making Satan's horns -- with your fist held up shoulder high and your index and little finger extended -- means that your spouse is having an affair behind your back.
Has the wrong gesture or joke ever led to violence?
Yes, a riot occurred in Bangladesh because of a gesture. It was the thumb's-up gesture, which means in Bangladesh just what it means in Australia and Nigeria: Up yours. The opponents of the man who made the gesture were incensed and started a scuffle which broke into a riot on the floor of the Parliament.
What is a sure-fire way to offend someone in another culture?
Of course, one of the best-known gestures is the upraised middle finger, our famous expressway digit. That goes back more than 2,000 years, to the days of the Emperor Caligula in Rome. He would demean his subordinates by making them come forward and kiss that finger, which was of course a phallic symbol; it was metaphorically making them kiss his penis. This gesture is universally offensive -- although they do it differently in the Middle East: You extend your hand out, spread your fingers and drop the middle finger.
In Greece, if someone simply holds their hand out with their palm, as if to say stop, that's a very rude gesture; it's called a moutza and it goes back to ancient times when the Greeks and the Romans were opponents. When the Greeks would capture the Romans, they would pick up mud or fecal matter and rub it in the faces of the prisoners.
In all your travels, what gesture has surprised you the most?
As I was walking down the street in Jiddah, Saudi Arabia, with a customer who represented millions of dollars worth of business, he reached over and grasped my hand and continued walking down the street, hand-in-hand. I thought, "My God, there's some type of cross-culture communication going on here," but I didn't know what it was. I started to sweat. I was lucky, I was so stunned that I didn't let go. In his country, that was a sign of friendship and respect; he was paying me a real compliment by saying I was his friend and it was nothing more than that. If I had pulled away, I'm sure I would have offended him.
The problem is when he comes to my little town in Wisconsin and we walk down the street, I'm always so worried that he's going to show me this gesture.
If it's not grabbing your hand, what are some different ways of picking up someone?
There are six different ways around the world for saying, "Oh I see a pretty girl": In this country, we kind of raise our eyebrows up and down, like Groucho Marx; in Greece, they will stroke their cheeks; in the Middle East, they will stroke an imaginary beard on their chin; in Italy they will take an extended index finger and poke it into their cheek and twist it, as if creating a dimple; in France, they kiss their fingers; and in Brazil, when they see a pretty girl, they take both hands and shape them into a telescope and then look through it.
And how do you beckon someone?
When we want to call a waiter, we put our hand up with just one finger. Well, in Japan you would never point with one finger, but if you do, you point with a closed fist and a thumb. All over Europe, if you want to beckon someone, you put your hand up and outward, more horizontally and you make a scratching notion with your fingers, from straight on to down. If we get really impatient, we'll stick the index finger up and curl it toward us, up and down, but that's terribly rude in places like Australia, Indonesia and Mexico, where it's done only for animals and ladies of the night.
In other cultures, have they started to study our gestures?
In Japan, there are now books on how to do business with us and they're telling them about our crazy habits. We call each other by the first name, we shake hands instead of bowing, eye contact is very important, all of these things are quite unique to the Japanese. They don't jump to first names, they don't have direct eye contact and they bow instead of shaking hands.
Is there any other advice that you would give to travelers doing business in foreign countries?
In international business, the personal relationship is very important. In this country, we are taught that time is money. We go in and say, "How do you do?" and waste little time on pleasantries; we are taught that it's an attribute to act this way. The biggest knock that our counterparts overseas have against Americans is that we're too impatient. They want us to sit back and take it easy as they get to know us; they want to build up a feeling of trust. To them, business is not done between businesses, it's done between people.
SALON | Nov. 19, 1998


	T A B L E_T A L K Is it safe for women to travel alone? Swap success and horror stories in the Wanderlust area of Table Talk R E C E N T L Y On the road with the Smokejumpers: Part Three By The King Teen Sold out in San Diego, boffo in Bakersfield -- the band's odyssey ends on an up note (11/18/98) Orchid ice cream By Eric Hansen An aficionado journeys to Turkey to discover the birthplace of this aphrodisiac treat (11/17/98) Another Africa By Chinua Achebe Beyond the stereotypes and clichés, a photographer and writer journey into the heart of the continent (11/15/98) This week in travel Hostages at Club Med, strikes in Italy, a Paris renaissance, Mideast warnings and more news from the travel world (11/13/98) A fiume runs through it By Thom Elkjer An American on a fly-fishing pilgrimage learns that in Italy, it's who you know that counts (11/12/98) Browse the Wanderlust Road Warrior archives Wanderlust's Official Travel Book Partner S A L O N E M P O R I U M FREE! 12-ounce bag of Salon Blend with a purchase of $30 or more. While supplies last.		BODY TALK \| PAGE 1, 2 - - - - - - - - - - Is there a way to play it safe? For example, should you avoid using your hands -- or feet -- altogether? First of all, do your homework before going to any country. There is no reason why you can't collect material ahead of time, study up on a particular culture -- not just the demographics, history, economics and politics, but the behavior, customs, protocol, etiquette, gestures, body language and humor. If you don't know, ask people, and become more aware of circumstances around you and what people are doing -- like how do they call a waiter, how do they wave goodbye, watch their posture and their body language or a gesture that they use, tapping the side of their nose, or flipping the lobe of their ear. Nowadays, there is just no excuse for not being prepared. It's amazing, if you name any gesture, you can almost always find a country where it's not done. In Bulgaria, particularly among the older generation, when you nod your head up and down, you're saying no. When you shake your head back and forth, you're saying yes. This is true even with some of the most basic gestures -- the thumb's-up gesture is rude in Australia and Nigeria, for example. In Germany, chewing gum in public is considered behaving like a cow. In Italy, making Satan's horns -- with your fist held up shoulder high and your index and little finger extended -- means that your spouse is having an affair behind your back. Has the wrong gesture or joke ever led to violence? Yes, a riot occurred in Bangladesh because of a gesture. It was the thumb's-up gesture, which means in Bangladesh just what it means in Australia and Nigeria: Up yours. The opponents of the man who made the gesture were incensed and started a scuffle which broke into a riot on the floor of the Parliament. What is a sure-fire way to offend someone in another culture? Of course, one of the best-known gestures is the upraised middle finger, our famous expressway digit. That goes back more than 2,000 years, to the days of the Emperor Caligula in Rome. He would demean his subordinates by making them come forward and kiss that finger, which was of course a phallic symbol; it was metaphorically making them kiss his penis. This gesture is universally offensive -- although they do it differently in the Middle East: You extend your hand out, spread your fingers and drop the middle finger. In Greece, if someone simply holds their hand out with their palm, as if to say stop, that's a very rude gesture; it's called a moutza and it goes back to ancient times when the Greeks and the Romans were opponents. When the Greeks would capture the Romans, they would pick up mud or fecal matter and rub it in the faces of the prisoners. In all your travels, what gesture has surprised you the most? As I was walking down the street in Jiddah, Saudi Arabia, with a customer who represented millions of dollars worth of business, he reached over and grasped my hand and continued walking down the street, hand-in-hand. I thought, "My God, there's some type of cross-culture communication going on here," but I didn't know what it was. I started to sweat. I was lucky, I was so stunned that I didn't let go. In his country, that was a sign of friendship and respect; he was paying me a real compliment by saying I was his friend and it was nothing more than that. If I had pulled away, I'm sure I would have offended him. The problem is when he comes to my little town in Wisconsin and we walk down the street, I'm always so worried that he's going to show me this gesture. If it's not grabbing your hand, what are some different ways of picking up someone? There are six different ways around the world for saying, "Oh I see a pretty girl": In this country, we kind of raise our eyebrows up and down, like Groucho Marx; in Greece, they will stroke their cheeks; in the Middle East, they will stroke an imaginary beard on their chin; in Italy they will take an extended index finger and poke it into their cheek and twist it, as if creating a dimple; in France, they kiss their fingers; and in Brazil, when they see a pretty girl, they take both hands and shape them into a telescope and then look through it. And how do you beckon someone? When we want to call a waiter, we put our hand up with just one finger. Well, in Japan you would never point with one finger, but if you do, you point with a closed fist and a thumb. All over Europe, if you want to beckon someone, you put your hand up and outward, more horizontally and you make a scratching notion with your fingers, from straight on to down. If we get really impatient, we'll stick the index finger up and curl it toward us, up and down, but that's terribly rude in places like Australia, Indonesia and Mexico, where it's done only for animals and ladies of the night. In other cultures, have they started to study our gestures? In Japan, there are now books on how to do business with us and they're telling them about our crazy habits. We call each other by the first name, we shake hands instead of bowing, eye contact is very important, all of these things are quite unique to the Japanese. They don't jump to first names, they don't have direct eye contact and they bow instead of shaking hands. Is there any other advice that you would give to travelers doing business in foreign countries? In international business, the personal relationship is very important. In this country, we are taught that time is money. We go in and say, "How do you do?" and waste little time on pleasantries; we are taught that it's an attribute to act this way. The biggest knock that our counterparts overseas have against Americans is that we're too impatient. They want us to sit back and take it easy as they get to know us; they want to build up a feeling of trust. To them, business is not done between businesses, it's done between people. SALON \| Nov. 19, 1998