“I think what’s happened over the last 25 to 30 years is a shift of our culture of marriage and commitment to divorce and convenience,” says Republican Louisiana Rep. Tony Perkins, author of the act. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, almost one in two marriages in the United States ends in divorce. “Divorce used to be at the bottom of the list when couples were [having problems] with their marriage. We’re hoping that what this law does is move divorce back down to the bottom of the list.”

Perkins emphasizes that the Marriage Covenant Act is all about choice. Couples can still get married the old-fashioned way (and end it with a no-fault divorce), or they enter into a covenant marriage and hope that they can make it work.

Even though couples must sign an affidavit stating that they understand how a covenant marriage can be dissolved, Gillin and others who work with battered women say that it’s dangerous for women to be bound to such an agreement.

“When most people get married, they are in their 20s and they are young and in love,” says Gillin. “They are not looking into the long term, and how people change and how situations change.” Gillin adds that most abusive relationships are insidious, and women don’t realize it until it’s too late.

“For some teens, it’s either perceived that they can’t go to their parents or, if it’s a really dysfunctional family, they really can’t,” says Therese Wilson, spokeswoman for Planned Parenthood. “Sometimes parents haven’t even dealt with the fact that their kids are sexually active — and then they come home pregnant? That’s a big jump.” One out of 10 women who come into Planned Parenthood is under 18.

Wilson says a decision last week by the California Supreme Court will help make it easier for teens to get an abortion. The court’s 4-3 ruling makes it the minor’s decision — and the minor’s decision alone — to end a pregnancy. It overturns an earlier ruling requiring the prior consent of one parent or the approval of a judge.

“No one would doubt the value to a pregnant minor of wise and caring parental guidance and support as she confronts a decision that will affect the rest of her life,” Chief Justice Ronald George wrote in his opinion, “assuming such support is available and the minor is willing to seek it.”

But some don’t feel that a woman or girl — or whatever you want to call her — is mature enough to make a decision like that without the advice of an adult. They believe that the state court’s decision will have heavy ramifications for the family.

“Isn’t it [the decision] like sneaking around the parents’ back?” asks Helen Austin, director of California ProLife. “What concerns us most is that it alienates the parent from the child. It’s like the state taking over parental rights. They are making the decision for the parent and the parent should be in on this extremely important decision. It’s going to be a life-changing decision for her.”

Minors have to have parental consent to obtain a tattoo or have their ears pierced, Austin says, so why is it that they can bypass their parents on something serious like abortion?

In most states — 30 to be exact — there is some type of consent or notification required before any minor is allowed to get an abortion. And while opponents of abortion rights point to states like Mississippi — where the number of abortions performed on minors actually went down by 13 percent since a 1993 parental consent law went into effect — as their success story, supporters of abortion rights counter by saying teens simply left the state and had their abortions performed elsewhere.

It was tea time. “Khume asee oktagare kezee,” she would say. Drink this, it’s good for you. “What is it called in English?” my mother would ask. Arshalous would throw back her head and mumble in Armenian. What difference did it make?

Years later, my mother would throw back her head when I asked, “Oukhlemor, what is it?” Though it is similar in smell and texture to chamomile, it isn’t quite as sweet. The dried leaves of Oukhlemor are dull-green in color, and the tiny buds almost a yellowish ecru. The tea is toffee brown with a rosy undertone.

And it is good for you — but more as a remedy for the spirit than the body, a sort of comfort in a cup, a liquid security blanket. A transcendental calmness, like a loved one stroking your head. A moment of smelling it and dousing your face in the steam always preludes any taste of it. Then slow sips. No gulps.

My grandmother would always wait for the tea to cool — but just for a few minutes, not too long. You don’t want it to burn your lips, but if it’s too cool, it isn’t soothing. The only way you can tell when it’s ready is by holding it; if it just warms your hands, it’s just right. And Oukhlemor always tastes better in the warmth of a light, whether you’re sitting by the window, catching the last rays of the afternoon sun or by the evening light of a lamp.

In fact, you must sit down while having a cup of tea, my grandmother would say. You can’t have it on the run, like coffee. Although I have heard that coffee actually carries less caffeine than many teas, it is still an on-the-go drink, a boost of energy made to drink while dashing across town. A cup of tea is to be savored, to be cherished over time. A cup of tea can last as long as you need it to.

It was during the Pritikin diet craze in the ’80s that my mother finally unearthed the name of this mystery herb. She had read about a tea that was supposedly good for the nerves and hypertension and went to the store to buy it. Into a pot of boiling water she tossed it and as soon as she did, she knew. It was Oukhlemor or, in English, linden flower tea.

Whenever my mother and I are together, we find the time to sit down for a cup of tea. Usually, it is Oukhlemor, but other times it’s whatever we can find. What I really savor about what Arshalous passed on to us is not the type of tea but the ritual of having it. I think she really believed that sitting down for just one moment during the day is the best remedy for almost anything.