The pitch: Enclose 10 people in a smallish house with no access to the outside world! Record everything with countless video cameras and microphones! Air the ensuing fireworks six nights a week!

In its post-"Survivor" hubris, CBS didn't consider the fact that its 10 "houseguests" were rather unremarkable. Anyone who showed dramatic life was quickly voted off by the viewing audience. The ones who remained claimed to be more interested in being a "family" than in sniping at one another.

Not one person fell into a fire and burned the skin off his hands.

The houseguests -- generally harmless folk much like you or me, except for their entrapment in the Studio City Habitrail -- held the CBS empire hostage with their blandness. To enliven the show, the producers invented a variety of tasks so lame even the housemates rolled their eyes. When the show finally expired, America didn't much care who won.

I tuned in nearly every night, and kept close tabs with a few similarly inclined friends. While others argued over the viperous character of Richard Hatch on "Survivor," we shared our concern about the emotional state of dignified Cassandra during the weeklong dance contest.

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