'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, nor clicking a mouse.

The eToys deliveries had been carefully wrapped;

We'd done all the work while St. Nicholas napped.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of Pikachu danced in their heads;

And Ma in her nightshirt, and I in my shorts,

Sat in bed channel-surfing, recapping the sports.

When out on the roof there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

I peered out -- told myself "Santa's coming along!"

But the scene on the roof was somehow ... gravely wrong.

Yes, there was the sleigh, silhouetted quite clear,

With a team of eight very odd-looking reindeer.

But before I'd made out just what was amiss,

Santa dropped down the chimney, and -- hey, what was this?

In an Armani suit, he was sleek and well-tanned,

With a Palm VII in pocket and StarTac in hand.

It was clear Dr. Atkins had helped him lose weight.

And he'd had his face done. He was fit. He looked great!

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