I’ll spare you the details of what I did to those roses before calling to assure him we were through.

My second husband (my real husband) and I have been together for 17 years, so I no longer remember at what stage of a relationship I would introduce the idea that I do not find red roses romantic. I do know it’s a strangely controversial opinion. I know the look of shocked dismay that’s likely on your face as you read this — I’ve seen it countless times since I began espousing this opinion somewhere around the age of 15. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I happen to find red roses garish. I confess I am also not a very sentimental person. But none of that is why I find them unromantic. Here’s my unfiltered view of it: It requires no thought, no time, and no effort to send someone red roses. They are as ubiquitous as they are obvious. All that’s required is some method of payment. So how does a gift so entirely impersonal add up to romance?

There’s a long-running joke in our culture about the ineptitude — the boring thoughtlessness — of giving a man a tie on Father’s Day. But at least, in that case, you have to pick out the tie.

Look, I get it. Love is hard. Expressing love, even through flowers, is perilous. There’s the possibility of miscommunication, dislikes, allergies. There’s an entire industry built up around the idea that red roses signal love, with a capital L. And if red roses mean “I love you,” anything else must mean something less. Roses are not only simple and straightforward, they’re safe. The only real hazard is sending them too soon.

But to love someone, and to express that love, requires knowing them. If you want to send a gift that says you care, the first step is to care. Show an interest in what she likes and longs for — in flowers and in life. Then on any occasion when you want to do something nice for her, send her something that says you listened. If she (or he, for that matter) tells you she thinks red roses are the ultimate in romance — and I recognize that she probably will — then by all means send them. But take the time to know. That’s where the romance happens.

This Valentine’s Day, my husband will give me a box of chocolates, as he suddenly started doing about 10 years ago. Not the most original gift in the world, granted, but it doesn’t need to be. The box he gives me won’t be heart-shaped and shrink-wrapped, plucked off the top of the giant pile at the corner drugstore. (Although I would eat those.) Instead, he will go to the nice candy shop near his office, stand in line, and pick out a small collection of the truffles and caramels he knows I love best. The point of this gift will be to say he knows me and loves me, and that makes me smile just thinking about it.

Note that the code behind all of this is “bleeding edge,” as they say, and making it work in the iPad browser is a huge (if exciting) challenge. So far we don’t have performance on the iPad at the same level as in the standard, scroll-based browsers, but we’re eager to get people using it. So particularly on the iPad, keep in mind this is beta-ware! If it works for you, have at it.

For those just hearing about The Grid for the first time, I’ll quote myself from the original announcement:

In [The Grid], all of our stories are laid out in a neat grid that conforms to the height of your screen, in reverse-chronological order. You can swipe, scroll or arrow-key your way across days of content very quickly, or jump back day by day with the buttons in the upper right. Click on any story (or hit “enter”) and it opens right there in the grid. Scroll or tap the spacebar to read it; swipe or use the arrow keys to keep browsing, or just hit the “n” key and the next story will instantly open. (For a full list of tips and shortcuts, click Help in the footer of the app.) It’s as fast as it is fluid.

As new stories publish, they are automatically added to the upper left corner of the grid — no need to refresh the page. So you can simply leave the tab open in your browser and come back throughout the day to see what’s been published.

We really appreciate all the feedback we’ve gotten so far. Many of you absolutely love it; others prefer the standard site. Terrific! The standard site won’t be going away, and we know many people will prefer it. Use whichever works for you, and toggle between them at any time using the footer links.

Of course the standard site also works great in the iPad browser. iPad users, whichever version of the site you opt for, add a bookmark to your home screen for easy access. Just tap the arrow icon in the browser’s toolbar and choose “Add to Home Screen.”

*Update 01.31.11: I originally posted that this was available for Firefox, without qualifying that statement. It currently only behaves in Firefox for Mac. PC users can access the grid in either Safari or Chrome. I apologize for the mistake.

As new stories publish, they are automatically added to the upper left corner of the grid — no need to refresh the page. So you can simply leave the tab open in your browser and come back throughout the day to see what’s been published.

For now, it’s available to anyone using Google’s Chrome browser, via a free download — just look for us under News in the Chrome Web Store. (With versions for additional browsers coming soon.)

We hope you’ll try it out and let us know what you think. If you like the app, please do take a moment to rate or review it in the Store, and be sure to tell your friends!

I do want to note that more than 95 percent of our mobile readers are using “smart phones” (almost entirely iPhone and Android devices). Nevertheless, for those with older or less feature-rich phones, we’ve done all we can to make sure this works as well as possible for you too!

PRO TIPS:

For iOS users (iPhone/iPod), you can have the mobile site appear on your home screen as if it were a native app. When you’ve got the site open in Safari, simply tap the “+” sign in the bottom toolbar, then tap “Add to home screen,” and an S icon will appear.

Similarly for Android users: Create a regular bookmark within the browser, then tap and hold a blank spot on your home screen until the pop-up menu appears. Tap “Shortcut” then locate the Salon bookmark you just created.