There are tortured sports fans, and then there's the city of Cleveland, which has transformed losing over the past half-century into a perverse performance art. Since the Browns won the (pre-Super Bowl) NFL title in 1964, Cleveland's major sports teams have failed to capture a single championship, instead producing a collection of moments that have ranged from devastating to macabre: "The Catch," "The Drive," "The Fumble," "The Streak," "The Shot" and, perhaps most notorious, "The Decision," which was so traumatic it inspired a gifted journalist named Scott Raab to write a memoir with the title "The Whore of Akron: One Man's Search for the Soul of LeBron James."
According to a CBS Sports report, we may soon be adding "The Burial" to this list of infamy:
[Scott E.] Entsminger "was an accomplished musician, loved playing the guitar and was a member of the Old Fogies Band." He was also, per his obituary in the Columbus Dispatch, a "lifelong Cleveland Browns fan and season ticket holder."
The deceased wasn't just your average Browns fan: He apparently wrote a song each year about the Browns, which he sent to the team along with advice about how to run the organization.
And he was such a big Browns fan that the family encouraged everyone attending his funeral wear clothes supporting the team. But here's the real kicker -- he wanted his pallbearers to be Browns as well.
Why? Well ...
"He respectfully requests six Cleveland Browns pall bearers so the Browns can let him down one last time."
Let's just hope they don't fumble the casket.