A guide to consensual BDSM sex: If you're doing it right, it isn't a buzz-kill

The accusations of abuse against Jian Ghomeshi, and the reaction to them, show how misinformed we are about kink

By Tracy Clark-Flory
Published October 29, 2014 11:00PM (EDT)
  (<a href='http://www.shutterstock.com/gallery-847993p1.html'>VP Photo Studio</a> via <a href='http://www.shutterstock.com/'>Shutterstock</a>)
(VP Photo Studio via Shutterstock)

We need to talk about kink and consent. That's what this Jian Ghomeshi situation has made me realize --  regardless of the truth of what went down between the popular radio host and the three young women making allegations of sexual abuse against him.

If you've been following this story, as so many of us are, you know that Ghomeshi was the host of the CBC's "Q," a Canadian pop culture show with an intellectual flare. That is, until he was fired after "information" came to light that the broadcaster said "precludes" continuing his employment.

Ghomeshi claimed in a Facebook post that his firing was the result of sexual moralizing on the CBC's part. “I have always been interested in a variety of activities in the bedroom but I only participate in sexual practices that are mutually agreed upon, consensual, and exciting for both partners,” Ghomeshi said. “Let me be the first to say that my tastes in the bedroom may not be palatable to some folks. They may be strange, enticing, weird, normal, or outright offensive to others. … But that is my private life. … And no one, and certainly no employer, should have dominion over what people do consensually in their private life." He added that he provided the CBC with "evidence that everything I have done has been consensual" and that "CBC execs confirmed that the information provided showed that t...

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Tracy Clark-Flory

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