Right-wing heads just pretty much exploded this week. It was terrible. Events occurred that could be construed as progress—a deal with Iran, a deal with that other religious extremist state, Indiana—what is the world coming to? Boom! Right-wing brain matter all over the place. Bring out the cleanup crews.
There was so much crazy being spewed, about Indiana and Iran, it was tough to keep up with it. Here’s some of what you might have missed in the onslaught.
1. Michele Bachmann makes utterly deranged comment on Facebook.
It’s hard being Michele Bachmann these days. She no longer has the House floor from which to spout her nonsensical world view. She is reduced to the indignity of spewing it on her Facebook page.
This week, the Tea Partying, Bible-thumping, flat-out insane former congresswoman fought her inevitable obscurity in a post comparing President Barack Obama to Andreas Lubitz, the pilot who downed the Germanwings airliner in the French Alps last week.
How so, you ask? As you might guess, it has something to do with the evidently suicidal mission of making peace instead of war with Iran. Because, apparently, peace kills. Or as Bachmann put it:
“With his Iran deal, Barack Obama is for the 300 million souls of the United States what Andreas Lubitz was for the 150 souls on the German Wings flight—a deranged pilot flying his entire nation into the rocks. After the fact, among the smoldering remains of American cities, the shocked survivors will ask, why did he do it?”
Apart from the insanity of this comparison, some commenters pointed out its despicable attempt to score political points from a genuinely horrific tragedy. But mostly, they just mocked her.
As well they should.
2. Rush Limbaugh goes all out and says everything liberals or newspapers ever said is a lie.
While most of the right, including the entire Fox operation, waged relentless war on the war being waged on the Indiana’s discriminatory "Religious Freedom" law, Rush Limbaugh decided to broaden the assault by simply denying that anti-gay discrimination, campus rape and police racism even exists. At all. “It’s all fake,” he sputtered, somehow sounding more nuts than he has ever sounded before.
And that’s hard.
It was an extended rant. Included in the potpourri of liberal lies: Lena Dunham can’t prove she was raped by a conservative, so campus rape does not exist; Eric Garner did not die as a result of a chokehold, therefore there’s no such thing as police racism. “Every news story that has caused controversy in this nation is fake,” Rush blathered.
Wow! That’s a hell of a lot of fakery. Never mind the reams of stats on police racism and campus rape. All fake! Anti-gay discrimination? Ha! Stop faking it, gay people! You’re fine. Stop pretending you don’t have the same rights as everyone else. Oh, wait, you don’t.
You are watching the very late stages of a conservative head inflating to the point where it will inevitably explode all over everywhere, and it will not be pretty. It will be a mess, and it'll make a hell of a lot of noise. But it will be funny.
Listen to the full rant here.
3. Ted Cruz wins prize for most rabidly anti-gay GOP presidential contender.
This is a tough competition. Wait, no it isn’t, because Cruz is still the only officially declared candidate. But, still, he’s winning! Yippee! And when others jump in the pool, Cruz will be tough to beat in the category of rabid anti-gay demagoguery.
“Religious liberty is not some fringe view,” Cruz told an audience in Bankston, Iowa this week, obviously referring to the brouhaha in Indiana. ”Sadly, a whole lot of Republicans are terrified of this issue.”
But Cruz is not afraid, because he is very, very brave. And he promised he will single-handedly protect those clergy members, pastors, priests and rabbis who are going to be forced against their will to perform same-sex marriage.
Except, of course, this will never happen. It's just a straw dog Cruz set up for his own amusement and fear-mongering. No one said boo about forcing clergy to do anything concerning gay marriage, and they never will because it would be unconstitutional and impossible. And none of this demagoguery has an iota to do with the principled fight against a law giving businesses the right to discriminate against people based on their sexual preferences.
But since when has the truth stopped Ted Cruz from speaking his diseased mind?
4. Mike Huckabee could give Cruz a run for his money in anti-LGBT hysteria.
All-but-declared presidential contender Mike Huckabee is right up there with Ted Cruz in his anti-gay hysteria. In an interview with CNN this week, the Huckster warned of the “militant gay community” and the fact that there's “more pressure to put sanctions on Indiana than Iran.”
Ah, but the down-home, grits 'n' gun-loving former pastor, does have a way with words.
He especially did not appreciate the fact that big corporations like Apple and Walmart—which he loves, don’t get him wrong—joined in the condemnation of Indiana’s Religious Freedom Restoration Act, enabling people and businesses to discriminate against gays.
“The reason that those corporations put the pressure on Indiana and Arkansas was because the militant gay community put the pressure on them,” Huckabee insisted. The dreaded “militant gay community” does not represent average Americans according to the Huckster. He does.
On an appearance on the Family Research Council’s “Washington Watch” this week, Huckabee continued his crusade, saying the LGBT rights movement is akin to something out of George Orwell’s dystopian novel 1984: “It is a classic example of — really a page out of 1984, when what things mean are the opposite of what they really are,” he said.
Hmmm. Really interesting point, Mike, because if ever there was an excellent example of 1984-like Newspeak, it has to be calling the license to discriminate “religious freedom.” Huckabee is a consummate speaker of this language: “That’s what I’m seeing here is that in the name of tolerance, there’s intolerance. In the name of diversity, there’s uniformity. In the name of acceptance, there’s true discrimination.”
Wow! He’s good.
5. Woman too crazy for Fox proves she truly is too crazy for Fox.
Her name is Laura Ashburn, and yep, Fox fired her, or in face-saving terms, “did not renew her contract” after one year as Howard Kurtz’s “Spin Cycle” sidekick.
This puts in her in Glenn Beck-like company, an elite stratosphere of “too cuckoo for Fox.”
Now she’s the resident conservative at Mediaite, where she re-affirmed her status as a thoroughly insane woman this week with a story titled:
What gruesome abortion story, you ask? Why, it’s a story about a seven-months-pregnant 26-year-old Colorado woman who nearly died when a woman lured her to her home, supposedly to buy baby clothes, and instead stabbed her and cut the fetus right out of her stomach, killing the baby in the process.
On what planet is that an abortion? And will Laura Ashburn now advocate that the 26-year-old victim be prosecuted since her baby was nearly full-term?
Ashburn is very, very worried that sensible anti-choicers like her are losing the battle against abortion. And with spokespeople like Ashburn, it is not hard to see why.
Why, some pro-choice people are even arguing that abortion clinics should be pleasant, spa-like places.
Isn’t that horrible? Why, it’s even more horrible than a woman getting her baby cut out of her stomach!