The site's tag line -- “love. hot. marriage. sex" -- immediately gives it away: This is not your average sexy-stuff website. No, this is Marriageheat.com, a Christian erotica site devoted to "inspiring vital marriage sexuality" and "beautiful hot monogamy" via user-submitted real-life tales of, you guessed it, hot biblical sex between a man and a woman.
The result is titles like, “A Night of Kissing.” I’m not even joking! “A Night of Kissing”! That particular story begins with this erotic enticement: “You could say it started when I was at work, and he texted me and said, ‘Hey, Babe. Want to go out to dinner tonight?’” Are your panties wet or what! OK, in fairness, this particular story does heat up from there. This is how it ends:
“He then carried me into the bedroom and threw me on the bed. He ravenously undid my bra and started grasping my boobs, and we kissed for long minutes before we made love. All I can say is that it was a beautiful romantic night...
Christian erotica, everyone!
No, but actually, plenty of the stories are raunchier than that. There may be a lot of "deep kissing," but so too is there copious talk of blow jobs, spanking and even -- gasp! -- the word "pussy." Also: lots of "pumping," "squirting" cum. These folks are not having sex under the covers with the lights off and their shirts on. They are shaving their pubes, wearing crotchless panties and making their wives squirt (these are actual stories taken from the site). According to reader polls conducted by Marriage Heat, “Animalistic Doggy-style” sex was the most popular position, followed closely by “Ride ‘em Cowgirl!” (although missionary did get a solid 35 percent of the vote). As for role-play scenarios, "master-submissive" was most popular, just ahead of "professor/student." Although certain conservative attitudes do show through: An impressive 40 percent said that “Wife masturbation almost never happens in our marriage."
One thing all of these users seem to have in common is that they are confident that God is onboard with their sexy times. "I salute everyone who submits stories for your honest intimacy and for making no apologies for loving married sex," wrote one user. "After all, sex is a gift from our Creator, right?” Another said, "Jesus is Lord over every area of our lives — including our marriage bed."
Most stories are submitted by married couples, although there is the occasional story from a single Christian. But, as with a user by the handle Oldersingle, the object of titillation is still married sex: He wrote, “Some months back, the Holy Spirit faithfully walked with me to a place of realizing that I could masturbate without sinful, lustful thoughts.” The fantasy scenario that follows is all based around his visions of marital sex: “I look forward to the day when after marriage … .”
Unsurprisingly, given the emphasis on biblical sex, there are plenty of stories about hot preggo action. In fact, the category “Pregnancy Sex” is one of the most prolific on the entire site. A reader poll found that 48 percent said of sexuality during pregnancy: “There was a fire happening!” One woman shares her “sensual birthing experience," writing, “I was not feeling particularly horny that day. But when I saw Matt pull up to the curb, in his charcoal grey suit, looking as sexy as ever, and in our Audi A4, my mind just went into overdrive.” This particular story continues to be immensely quotable:
“We timed the contractions that were getting stronger by the minute, but Matt kept rubbing my love mound to relieve the pressure and give me some pleasure. We had decided on unassisted childbirth, so we knew what we were doing. A few minutes into the clit-rubbing, my water broke.”
One husband writes of how his wife’s first trimester leaves her fatigued and sexually numb, but “when she comes out of that is a turned-on bundle of sexual energy through the remainder of the pregnancy.” His wife is currently postpartum, and her body recovering from giving birth, so their sexual activity has ground to a halt, but he shares his fantasies about what it will be like once it starts back up. “I can see myself exploding into her now as she looks up and watches me express the pleasure she has lovingly provided me with not only her pussy, but her tits, her hands, her lips to kiss, and her intimate conversation,” he writes. “Thank God for her and her delightful pussy to enjoy!”
Babies seem to be ever-present even in totally bizarre instances: Take a story titled, “Desiring Her Pussy," which is accompanied by a photo of a husband and his wife, who is looking adoringly at the baby in her arms.
Other popular categories are “Choosing Faithfulness,” which includes stories “that illustrate [faithfulness] to your marriage vows," and “Christmas Heat,” which includes stories with titles like, “Twas the Night Before (Sexy) Christmas” and “Stocking Stuffers.” "Honeymoon" is, of course, another fan favorite. There are several genres you wouldn’t expect on a porn site: “Anniversary," for example," and "Making Time," which includes stories about finding time for sex amid a busy life with kids. Compared to the usual fare of adult sites, there’s something charming about encountering erotic titles like “Sexy Life Partner” and “Hot sex with my wife.”
In fact, there is something almost revolutionary about these stories, compared to traditional erotica, which often focuses on brand-new romances. As Marriage Heat itself points out, erotic stories usually end when the couple gets together. “Our marriage erotica novellas and novels are often times about relationships that already have been established and the adventures and sex that ensues after the ‘honeymoon’ stage is over," the site explains. Regardless of your religious persuasion, it's refreshing to see erotica that finds heat even after the fairy tale ends.