As Huckabee doubles-down on his Holocaust comments, here's a reminder of why he's not worthy of attention in the first place

If this were the last article anyone ever wrote about him, the world would be a better place

Published July 27, 2015 4:55PM (EDT)

Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee is under fire for suggesting that President Barack Obama's nuclear agreement with Iran amounts to "taking the Israelis and march[ing] them to the door of the ovens," a clear reference to the Holocaust which, unsurprisingly, many of people he was ostensibly defending found offensive.

At the moment, the Republican presidential hopeful is doubling- and redoubling-down on his comments on Twitter:

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Instead of focusing on his current attempt to remind us of why we shouldn't even be paying him attention, it's worth recalling that this is but the latest in a long line of similar forays which -- as this article itself is proof -- have yet to convince us to avert our eyes:

1. Women "cannot control their libido" without the help of "Uncle Sugar"

Granted, he was claiming that this was what Democrats believe, and made the remarks a speech in which he said that "Republicans don't have a war on women," but are waging "a war for women" -- but even there his phrasing is so hopelessly mangled so as to invite misinterpretation. Also, honestly, who's "Uncle Sugar"?

2. "It doesn't embarrass me one bit to let you know that I believe Adam and Eve were real people"

It should, Governor, if only because you just suggested that everyone who might potentially vote for you is inbred, as opposed to only those who actually did.

3. The federal government should get out of AIDS research and leave it "to Elizabeth Taylor and Madonna" to pay for it "out of their own personal treasuries"

That was his response to a voter questionnaire in which he also noted that homosexuality is "an aberrant, unnatural, and sinful lifestyle, and we now know it can pose a dangerous public health risk," and that "[i]f the federal government is truly serious about doing something with the AIDS virus, we need to take steps that would isolate the carriers of this plague." You know, at least until Elizabeth Taylor and Madonna finally received that cure they'd ordered.

4. "I speak the language of South Carolina"

Which he proved by recounting how he used to eat fried squirrel out a popcorn popper when he was in college. I take it that means "Fried Squirrel" fulfills the "Language of South Carolina" requirement at Ouchita Baptist University.

5. "I drink a different kind of Jesus juice"

He was attempting to put some distance between himself and Arkansas Republican state Senator Jim Holt, but he ended up just sharing a little too much information about the psychosexual nature of his relationship with his Lord and Savior.

6. "I'm beginning to think there's more freedom in North Korea sometimes than there is in the United States"

He aired this complaint at the New Hampshire Freedom Summit in April 2014, and while that seems like an appropriate enough venue for such a complaint, it's worth noting that he was complaining about airport security at the time. He'd be correct if every aspect of our daily life were subjected to the same scrutiny as our luggage and person are when we pass through airport security -- but that's just not the case, not even in Obama's America.

7. Obama is "very different than the average American -- his perspective as growing up in Kenya with a Kenyan father and grandfather, their view of the Mau Mau Revolution in Kenya is very different than ours because he probably grew up hearing that the British were a bunch of imperialists who persecuted his grandfather"

It was the most long-winded, roundabout "I'm not a birther, but..." argument to appear from an ostensibly mainstream candidate, and he quickly backed away from it, calling it "a verbal gaffe" and "a verbal slip" -- both of which, of course, suggest that he accidentally revealed what he actually believes.

8. Todd Aiken's "legitimate rape" comment "was blown out of proportion by the left"

At least he's consistent -- not only does he make ridiculously stupid statements himself, he defends the ridiculously stupid statements of others. Huckabee was particularly disappointed that Republicans abandoned Aiken, and called them "conveniently pro-life," which I'm sure endeared him to the party leadership.

By Scott Eric Kaufman

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