Jon Stewart (Comedy Central)

Jon Stewart mocks media freakout over his “secret” meetings with Obama: We “took turns f*cking a replica of Reagan’s eye socket”

“Something is not a secret just because you don’t know about it," Stewart explained

Colin Gorenstein
July 30, 2015 5:14PM (UTC)

Following this week's media frenzy over what a host of news outlets described as "Jon Stewart's secret meetings with President Obama," Stewart appeared on the "Nightly Show" Wednesday to clear the air and tell host Larry Wilmore that the meetings weren't actually that "secret." He even shared a picture of the two kicking back and drinking a milkshake to prove it. Stewart used his "Daily Show" stage to address the issue (yet again) on Wednesday night. This time, he was a bit more relentless, calling out both Fox News and Politico for their sloppy and over-hyped coverage.

"Something is not a secret just because you don't know about it," Stewart said Wednesday night. "If the president tells you to and you don’t, who the fuck knows what would happen?”


Stewart said his meetings with Obama actually played out a lot like his public ones on "The Daily Show": lots of bickering about the Affordable Care Act website (and occasionally salmon dishes).

Also this:

“It was a roundtable meeting with the President, Elvis — still alive — Minister [Louis] Farrakhan, and the Area 51 alien. We opened with the traditional Saul Alinsky prayer, sucked on the blood of the righteous, and took turns f*cking a replica of the Reagan eye socket. The real Reagan eye socket is kept in the Smithsonian and is only f*cked on Christmas.”

The "Daily Show" host admitted that, during his 16-year run, he's been threatened many times by guests (most famously, by Billy Joel). "Only with one of those people has a phone call ever ended with, ‘This conversation never happened, and if you say it did, I’ll deny it,’" Stewart added. "And it wasn’t the f*cking president.'"


Watch the clip courtesy of Comedy Central below:

Colin Gorenstein

Colin Gorenstein is Salon's assistant editor of internet and viral content. Follow @colingorenstein or email

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Jon Stewart Larry Wilmore Obama The Daily Show Video

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