Jimmy Fallon kicks-off new NFL season by having 15 players read their own superlatives

Saints quarterback Drew Bress voted most likely to "be the dad dancing way too hard at a Taylor Swift concert”

By Sophia Tesfaye

Senior Politics Editor

Published September 11, 2015 2:40PM (EDT)

  (NBC: "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon")
(NBC: "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon")

Thursday night marked the start of a new NFL season and in honor of the occasion, NBC's "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon" had 15 of the League's biggest names read aloud their comical yearbook-like awards. 

In a segment called "NFL Stars Read Their Own Superlatives," photos of players are matched with high school yearbook-esque quotes about them which they themselves read. Previous versions of this sketch have included NBA All-Stars and the 2015 NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs

Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski, who played an impactful role in the season opener win against the Pittsburgh Steelers, was simply labeled “Human Minion.”

39-year-old Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning was voted “most likely to have to explain to a rookie what a VCR was,” while New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees won “most likely to be the dad dancing way too hard at a Taylor Swift concert.”

Greenbay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers revealed with a wide grin that he was named “most likely to offer you help at the hardware store even though he doesn’t work there.” And Cincinnati Bengals quarterback Andy Dalton was named “most likely to be the love child of Ed Sheeran and the Firefox logo.”

Matthew Stafford, quarterback for the Detroit Lions, was voted “Most Likely to Wear Suspenders and Play the Jug in a Mumford & Sons Cover Band.” Joe Thomas of the Cleveland Browns was voted "Most Likely to Give You a Wedgie in 1948" and D'Brickashaw Ferguson of the New York Jets was named "Least Likely to Hear, 'Hey, My Name is D'Brickashaw, Too!'"

Watch the NFL stars deadpan their superlatives on "The Tonight Show," via NBC:


By Sophia Tesfaye

Sophia Tesfaye is Salon's senior editor for news and politics, and resides in Washington, D.C. You can find her on Twitter at @SophiaTesfaye.

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Comedy Jimmy Fallon Nfl Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon