Trevor Noah's Bernie Sanders impression: "If I hear one more person say emails, so help me, I'm gonna kick them in the d*ck!"

Jim Webb, Lincoln Chafee take brilliant hits as well on the new "Daily Show" host's first presidential debate show


Sarah Burris
October 15, 2015 3:29PM (UTC)

The one tragedy of Comedy Central shows like The Daily Show is they tape so early making it impossible for them to comment directly following a major presidential debate. Those of us who roll our eyes knowing exactly what the pundits will say, eagerly await the comedian's take instead. Wednesday evening was Trevor Noah's first opportunity to mock some of the Democratic candidates.

Secretary Hillary Clinton was first in Noah's jokes, poking fun at the way in which she mentioned she was a woman, like somehow we'd forgotten that women can be a credible source on public policy. Wrong party. "Really? That's it," Noah asked. "So the only thing separating you and President Obama is the fact that you have different parts? What, are you Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head?"

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Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders was next, and Noah mentioned that he had the opportunity to show Clinton the Bern on a range of issues like the Keystone XL pipeline, Wall Street reform or the Trans-Pacific Partnership, instead he stood up against the damn emails. "Yeah!" Noah said before imitating Sanders. "And if I hear one more person say emails, so help me, I'm gonna kick them in the dick! Emails this! Emails that! I remember when people use to talk to each other loudly!"

Then it was former Maryland Gov. Martin O'Malley's turn, except it was hard to really say anything about O'Malley when the camera panned over to Gandalf's cousin sitting in the audience.


"We elected a president, not a magician," Noah quoted O'Malley. "And Xandar's like, 'Don't blame me! I voted for Dumbledore'" flashing the picture of the old hairy dude in the audience.

There was some serious fun had at former Rhode Island catch-all, Lincoln Chafee's expense. Poor guy, started out by addressing the lack of skeletons in his closet, which, to be fair to those who may not know anything about Rhode Island politics, not having any scandals is actually saying something. The state is worse than New Jersey, and they had Bridgegate. Noah did a hilarious Chafee impression with a sparkling grin and flashing the dimples, "and I make my bed every morning. I'm extremely punctual and I've never had a cavity. Don't believe me? Here's a note from my dentist! Who, by the way, said he'd seriously consider voting for me!"

But, it wasn't the worst part of the Chafee night, Noah said before rolling the awkward conversation about Chafee not knowing what he was voting for. "I-I-I just dropped my ice cream cone after only one lick," Noah mocked. "Here's how bad it got for Chafee. You know how they tell the underdog in a debate to punch up, bait the front-runner into talking so you look serious? Let's see how it goes when he challenges Hillary Clinton on her email," Noah said before running the clip of Clinton shutting the conversation down with a single "No." Noah said it has to be the most brutal shooting down of a person named Lincoln he's ever seen. "Too soon?"

Then, thankfully, it was time for the mocking of former Sen. Jim Webb to begin. Noah said every person had a chance to lay out their case, well except for Jim Webb. Noah ran a collection of Webb's bitchfest of being ignored. "Goddamnit!" Noah said imitating Webb. "Bernie Sanders isn't even gonna be president either and he got way more time than me!" Maybe a new campaign slogan for Webb 2016. "And then he basically spent all his time telling us he didn't have time." Burn!

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Congrats, Trevor Noah. May there be more cynical sarcasm in your future.

Check out the hilarity below:


Sarah Burris

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