John Oliver to Canada: Arrest me. "Canada is America’s next-door neighbor. Stephen Harper is her dickhead boyfriend"

Oliver aggressively violates a Canadian election law in dropping the truth about the country's right-wing leader

By Sarah Burris
October 19, 2015 8:35PM (UTC)
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Something must be pretty serious if John Oliver is willing to risk $5,000 and six months in Canadian jail just to break an incredibly stupid election law for our neighbor to the north. Last Week Tonight needs for the country to know all about the election that begins today. Oh, Canada...

Oliver started by outlining a few local candidates whose backgrounds couldn’t make it through the scrutiny of the "grueling" 78-day campaign. "First, thinking 78-days is a long campaign is absolutely adorable," Oliver said Sunday night. Thanks to Canada's parliamentary style of government, these local yokels determine who the prime minister is based on a majority of that party's members elected.


That's when Oliver turned to the Prime Minister candidates: NDP’s Tom Mulcair, the Liberal Party’s Justin Trudeau, and Conservative Stephen Harper — the incumbent, are all up for the gig. But it was the current PM that Oliver took major issue with. Due to the lack of term limits in the land of Canada, Oliver says the current Prime Minister Stephen Harper has been in charge for 10 years passing some of the most horrific laws.

"Don’t be deceived by his bland exterior," Oliver said of Harper. "Where there is banality, there is evil. For instance, Harper’s government has passed numerous laws weakening environmental protections, they’ve scaled back health care for some refugees—which a federal court called ‘cruel and unusual treatment.’ And Harper himself, has taken an extremely strong position on marijuana."

Oliver then rolled a clip of Harper saying that there was “overwhelming and growing scientific evidence” that marijuana "is infinitely worse” than tobacco. "Are you high?" he exclaimed. "Marijuana is not worse than tobacco!"

But it is the "pandering to Islamophobes," that Oliver really took issue with:


"Earlier this year, his government passed a law called the ‘Zero Tolerance for Barbaric Cultural Practices Act,’ stiffening penalties for things like honor killing and polygamy, despite the fact that both those things were already illegal in Canada," Oliver explained. "And then a few weeks ago, they suggested a ‘barbaric cultural practices hotline’ despite the fact that 911 continues to exist in Canada. And this is on top of the fact that they once banned women from wearing the niqab while taking the oath of citizenship."

He showed a clip of a young woman saying the religious safety and freedoms were the reason she chose Canada as a place to flee to and a reason for becoming a citizen.

If that didn't convince the audience, Oliver showed video of Stephen Harper's bizarre old man cover band, the Van Cats, tragically crucifying Neil Diamond’s "Sweet Caroline." It was brutal.

"Canada is America’s next-door neighbor, and Stephen Harper is her dickhead boyfriend. You know, the one she won’t split up with despite the fact that he tells her what to wear and makes her listen to his shitty, shitty band."

He then explained that Canadian election law prevents any outsider from telling Canadians how to vote. Violation of the law brings with it a $5,000 fine and no more than six months in prison. "I guess what you’re saying, then, Canada, is do you want to dance?" Oliver said pulling out a wad of Canadian cash. Canadian comedian Mike Myers joined Oliver on stage dressed as a Mounty while a beaver played "Sweet Caroline" and a moose getting a colonoscopy thanks to Canada's awesome health care. They fanned the money out each telling people not to vote for Stephen Harper.


Watch the wild video below:

John Oliver Warns Canadians Not to Vote Stephen Harper Harper

Sarah Burris

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