On Fox News this morning, the anchors were hopping mad over a promotion by a Chicago hot dog vendor — The Wiener’s Circle — in which they reinvented “The Art of the Deal” as “The Art of the Meal,” complete with a menu as honest as Trump University’s course catalog and as humble as the candidate himself:
We have the best people running out signs. Our sign guy, he's the best guy. pic.twitter.com/yoOSGmgFEm
— The Wieners Circle (@TheWienerCircle) March 10, 2016
The trump footlong! At te wiener's circle starting tomorrow! Just look at those long, resplendent fingers! pic.twitter.com/kYezqMT5De
— The Wieners Circle (@TheWienerCircle) March 10, 2016
“The Trump Footlong” is, according to the vendor’s tweet, “3 inches of the best tasting, most flavorful beef you’ve ever had.” The Wiener’s Circle will “guarantee you there’s no problem” with the 3-inch, footlong dog, “guarantee it”:
Could it be because of our ART OF THE MEAL menu, coinciding w @realDonaldTrump's chicago stop? pic.twitter.com/DGBCL7W5mY
— The Wieners Circle (@TheWienerCircle) March 10, 2016
The vendor is clearly referring to the GOP front-runner’s response to Marco Rubio during the Republican debate in Detroit last week, in which he said that Florida senator mentioned his “hands — [and that] if they’re small, something else must be small. I guarantee you, there’s no problem. I guarantee you.
Trump is scheduled to host a rally in Chicago at 6 p.m., and the Wiener’s Circle is hosting its “Make Wieners Great Again” promotion to coincide with it. They’ve even ordered their employees a few relevant hats:
Our team, making wieners great again (Pictured: trump footlong/healthy disdain for photographer) pic.twitter.com/QRaCpg4NvG
— The Wieners Circle (@TheWienerCircle) March 10, 2016
And they seem to be enjoying the attention being lavished upon their deliberately fraudulent dogs:
Size queens take note: We're making wieners great again for the little guy. And we're doing a good job. Really super https://t.co/ns7v6NTsFd
— The Wieners Circle (@TheWienerCircle) March 11, 2016
Bill, we're very rich. We've made a lot of glamorous money. These trump dogs, they're plenty big.
There's no problem https://t.co/sn0jf6rvPC— The Wieners Circle (@TheWienerCircle) March 10, 2016
Thank you, Alexandria. This story is yuuuuge. #makewienersgreatagain https://t.co/KLZg3WI59x
— The Wieners Circle (@TheWienerCircle) March 10, 2016
Everything has a price. Believe me. I'm very rich. I have a lot of money and long, vigorous fingers https://t.co/1oc89PWhg1
— The Wieners Circle (@TheWienerCircle) March 11, 2016
You'll be satisfied. Believe me https://t.co/OHScq4PDxI
— The Wieners Circle (@TheWienerCircle) March 11, 2016
Diana, that was a super endorsement that got pretty loserish there at the end. Still, you're a luxurious lady, Diana https://t.co/g34LWx7jJB
— The Wieners Circle (@TheWienerCircle) March 11, 2016
