This article originally appeared on AlterNet.
Donald Trump was out of the spotlight for a while last week, and that was very hard to abide. When people did talk about him, they were mostly saying not nice things. Imagine that! Things like, “That’s treason,” when he invited Russia to interfere with an American election. Things like, “How dare you not release your tax returns as every candidate for president has done in modern history?”
The Democrats had put on a good show with plenty of razzle-dazzle, and that hurt. When Trump awoke from his semi-subdued state, it was as if he was determined to prove every damn negative thing that had been said about him was true.
Temperamentally unfit to serve as commander-in-chief? “I’ll show you,” he roared.
1. Keeping it classy.
Donald Trump has been throwing tantrums ever since the DNC built to its thunderous, balloon-strewn, history-making conclusion Thursday night.
Poor Donald — it stung that his show managed to attract such meager celebrity power, lacked many party leaders including former presidents or even the governor of Ohio and had a fair amount of technical difficulties.
And imagine, after the Republicans who attended his victory party spent four days vilifying Hillary Clinton, chanting “Lock her up” and worse, mean old Hillary did not even have the decency to congratulate Trump on his nomination. See how rigged it all is! That the woman he calls “Crooked Hillary” was not particularly nice about him makes him foot-stomping mad.
"I was curious to see whether she'd do a class act and not mention my name," Trump said at a rally in Colorado Springs on Friday. "Or mention it with respect, like, say, 'I'd like to congratulate my Republican opponent for having done something that nobody has ever done in the history of politics in this nation.'"
Trump always keeps it classy. Like when he ranted on like an insane toddler about wanting to hit some of the speakers at the DNC, in particular that “little guy," the actual self-made multibillionaire from New York, who, though not exactly a Democrat, cannot bring himself to vote for Trump and urges everyone else not to either.
Former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg landed a few blows at the DNC, including the lines: “I’m a New Yorker and I know a con when I see one.” And, “Donald Trump says he will run America the way he has run his business? God help us!” Bloomberg also suggested only one candidate in the race is both “sane and competent.”
Trump’s oh-so-sane and competent response: "I was going to hit one guy in particular, a very little guy. I was going to hit this guy so hard his head would spin and he wouldn't know what the hell happened. He came out of nowhere!"
Ever get the sense we’re all inside a reality TV show and can't get out?
2. Like father, like son.
If you are a Trump, throwing tantrums is what you do. After the Melania Trump plagiarism debacle at the RNC, Donald Jr., the eldest, presumably college-educated son of the Donald, was eager to take his new multi-syllabic vocabulary word out for a ride.
“I’m honored that POTUS would plagiarize a line from my speech,” he tweeted. “Where’s the outrage?”
That President Obama, one of the most soaring rhetoricians ever to occupy the Oval Office, would look to Don Jr. for pointers or catchphrases is laughable. The president gave one of the greatest political speeches in history, even many conservatives ruefully admitted, one that reminded exactly no one of anything any Trump has ever uttered. The six-word phrase in question was, “That’s not the America I know.” The two contexts were diametric opposites, and the plagiarism detection program some lowly Trumpian staffer was assigned to monitor seems a tad oversensitive.
When that ridiculous charge failed to stick, the Donald’s mini-me resorted to even worse stupidity by the end of the week. First he spewed incorrectly that the DNC lacked American flags, a falsehood that was immediately apparent to anyone with eyes and a television set last week. And speaking of flags, Donny boy mentioned that he just does not understand what the big deal is about the Confederate flag. The Mississippi state flag was removed from the Wells Fargo Center, where the DNC was held, notably after protests by Sanders supporters. But Trump Jr. does not understand what all the fuss is about that flag. “I believe in tradition,” he said, even really racist awful ones, apparently.
Donald Jr., and all you Trump spawn and grandkids: Racial insensitivity is not genetic. Take a tip from Katy Perry. “It’s not where you come from but what you grow into.” Yes, your dad is like somebody’s racist old uncle, but you don’t have to be.
3. Brit Hume is completely blind to his own sexism.
One of the more reliable things about sexists and right-wingers is they don’t have any ability to recognize when they’ve morphed into complete caricatures.
Brit Hume almost certainly thinks he’s an eminently reasonable and fair-minded man, just calling it like he sees it and hears it in his mellifluous, made-for-TV pundit voice. He has presumably not read or failed to understand that the ongoing commentary about Hillary Clinton’s voice and how often she smiles is laughably gendered.
Asked for his sober and substantive critique of Clinton’s keynote speech, Hume said: “She has a habit, when speaking, of breaking into a kind of a sharp, lecturing tone, [it] makes you feel like. She has a great asset, as a public person, which is a radiant smile, but she has a not-so-attractive voice.”
Hmmm, fascinating and trenchant political analysis, there.
Other conservative commentators were not even willing to give her smile points.
Sure, there are some legitimate criticisms one could make of Hillary Clinton. But Brit Hume is not the man to make those. He needs to talk about her voice, which bugs him.
But you know whose voice also really irritates him? Eleanor Roosevelt.
4. The right trots out its most horrific person to take down the grieving father of a slain Muslim-American soldier.
A Muslim American brought down the DNC house with a moving statement about his son’s heroism and death as an American soldier Thursday night. Khizr Khan called out Donald Trump for smearing Muslims, then he waved the Constitution, looked directly into the camera and addressed the Republican nominee. “Let me ask you, have you even read the U.S. Constitution? I will gladly lend you my copy,” he said, visibly upset. “You have sacrificed nothing!”
There’s really only one person evil enough to criticize a man whose son has made the ultimate sacrifice for his country, a country that now threatens to elect a man who disdains an entire religion. Ann Coulter wasted no time, tweeting: “You know what this convention really needed? An angry Muslim with a thick accent like Fareed Zacaria.” [sic]
This was hard for conservatives. They do not like to gang up on fallen soldiers, and some expressed their horror and regret that they even know Ann Coulter.
As for Trump, he demonstrated that he may not actually understand the word sacrifice. “I think I’ve made a lot of sacrifices,” he told George Stephanopoulos in an interview published Saturday. “I work very, very hard. I’ve created thousands and thousands, tens of thousands of jobs. Built great structures. I’ve done... I’ve had... I’ve had tremendous success. I think I’ve done a lot.”
“Those are sacrifices?” Stephanopoulos asked.
“Oh sure, I think they’re sacrifices.”
Trump went on to criticize Khizr Khan’s speech and his wife for being too quiet.
These television interviews are the sacrifices you must make in order to make America great again.
5. Confused Republicans seem not to understand the concept of acting.
It was bad enough that there were so many more truly A-list celebrities at the DNC in Philadelphia than at the RNC in Cleveland. Worse still, there were glamorous big celebs in the audience in Philly — who weren’t even speaking — whereas people in pinwheel hats, open carry nuts and followers of Alex Jones mostly graced Cleveland with their presence.
One celebrity in Philly in particular confused the hell out of conservatives. American Sniper Chris Kyle sat right there in the audience of the DNC. Well, not actually Chris Kyle, but the actor who portrayed him, Bradley Cooper. Same thing, right?
“Traitor!” tweeted some conservative idiots unfamiliar with the concept of acting. One called “USA Citizen” was enraged: “Bradley Cooper’s DNC appearance indicates his next role will be Jihadi John. Liberal piece of (emoticon of smiling pile of brown stuff.)"
We think we know which party is offering a steaming pile of shit this election season.