I’ve already brought you the best of Tumblr and Vine porn -- and, as you can imagine, no one clicked on those links. But luckily the higher-ups at Salon are letting me continue to pursue this important topic, despite the general public's total indifference toward pornographic material. (Keep independent journalism alive!) Thus, I've spent hours scouring Reddit, all in search of the best smut it has to offer. The result: a list of 10 subreddits that reflect the range of what good porn can be -- sexy, educational, hilarious and, sometimes, just really effing weird. (And, to that point, fear not if you don't find your particular fetish on this list: Whether it's seeing people putting Sharpies in their butts, ejaculating on figurines or NSFW renderings of Hitler, Reddit’s definitely got you covered.)
"If it exists, there is porn of it. No exceptions.” So states Rule 34 of the Internet, and this thread is designed to prove it. There’s Zelda porn, “Futurama” pinups and superhero orgies. Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? On this subreddit, taking off her red coat. Ever wonder what the Flinstones get up to in their conjugal rock-bed? Imagine no more (fun fact: Fred leaves the tie on, folks). With titles like “Rapunzel Upside Down Anal," I think it's safe to say that this is what the Internet is made for.
Don't worry, this list isn't all cartoon sex. In fact, this subreddit is quite the opposite: everyday women posing nude, just for the thrill of exhibitionism or positive feedback. These photos aren't professionally produced, but what they lack in aesthetics they make up for in accessibility. The most popular models often engage in the comments section of their posts, sometimes flirting with their admirers and taking requests. This is as real as "girl next-door" porn gets.
Gone Wild isn't all sunshine and naked selfies, though. As supportive as the community can be, some models' identities have been outed on other subreddits.
Faux-lesbian porn just might be the most annoying porn on the Internet. Consider this subreddit an antidote: It features amateur women posing and performing for other women -- not men. As the page's description reads, "Far from the male gaze: SHOW YOUR STUFF!"(Of course, the authenticity of it can only make it hotter for male interlopers, so I guess everyone wins.)
This subreddit has the amateurs of Gone Wild but none of the visuals; it's all about audio. There are sounds of amateurs masturbating, having loud sex, reading sexy stories and even getting spanked with a paddle brush. There's a little something for anyone who is, ehem, aurally inclined.
I might be showing my straight-lady cards here. (Indeed, in a post titled “How I feel finding this subreddit, as a straight female,” one redditor aptly linked to this GIF.) This is home to photos and videos of guys -- young and old, clean shaven and scruffy -- making out. There's even a Photoshopped image of Marlon Brando appearing to kiss James Dean. (Again, this.) As the subreddit's description says, "Seeing two males kiss is probably the most beautiful and passionate thing on the planet. If you agree, then you've come to the right place!" If you don't, there's always ...
It's just what it sounds like: a collection of videos of breasts bouncing in slow-motion. This makes my list not for its erotic merits, but for the sheer physics of it. Sometimes porn is at its best when it feels like a bizarre biology lesson.
This subreddit describes itself as woman- and couple-friendly. I'd counter that it's porn that's friendly to anyone -- single men included -- who likes to watch heterosexual sex with an emphasis on sensuality, subtlety and connection.
If you're the kind of hipster who always uses a black-and-white filter on Instagram and buys other people's ancient family treasures on Etsy, this is the Reddit porn for you. From French pornos from the 1920s to pinups from back when women had pubic hair, you'll find it all here.
The Chickflixxx manifesto states that it is "a place for Pro-Porn women to share links to great sexual content and discuss porn." The result is at times hilarious, especially when compared to the language on your average tube site: You just don't get video titles like "The most lust and passion I've seen in a while," and descriptions along the lines of "adorable threesome" on YouJizz.com. But make no mistake: this is hardcore porn -- and with all gender permutations you can imagine.
I mean, the name alone. This subreddit is for women -- and men undeterred by the name -- who like something left to the imagination. Most photos are completely clothed and of male celebrities like Michael Fassbender, Joseph Gordon Levitt, Johnny Depp and, to quote one user, "David freakin Beckham!!!!!!" Don't forget to read the drooling commentary -- it'll bring you right back to grade school (ex. "Yummmmmmmmy"). For those who prefer their men both clothed and cuddling with cute animals, there's always Lady Boners Gone Cuddly.
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